Plausible deniability.
Ronan couldnt lie about wrecking the Pig, and if he was asked, he wouldns edge called insomnia, but since he never asked, Ronan never told him that they weren more sinful t want to wake up again, but his dreams didnt asleep at all. The taste of salty sweat on his tongue was an addictive thing, as if the slightly-blemished pale flesh he ran his tongue over seeped ambrosia rather than sweat. Oh, he couldnt stop that sinnerYou
Ronan laughed, because that word was supposed to be an insult, but when it was clipped in the cadence and that tone he knew better. It was not an insult. It was a term of scathing endearment.
It meant: Be mine, be with me. Choose me.
So, he made a joke out of it, because Ronan didnDick.s skin, but then the dream would be wrong if it wasns kind of fairy tale would be comprised completely of compound curse words and promises of happily-ever-fucking-afters locked heart, and he would get it open this way. No way in hell would that ever happen, even if it felt so right in the moment that Kavinsky swirled a very heavy thumb over the sensitive head of Ronans mother being a whore when their dicks slid against each other in a slick, sticky stroke.
The dream tore apart then as consciousness crept between reality and the dream like a knife. Ronan fell out of the dream with a violent lurch as if he had been ejected rather than taken a willing exit.
Everything about the waking world was hot, wet, and sticky. Ronan was breathing with tight lungs and a stampeding heart. One hand touched at his bare chest and came away slick with sweat as the euphoria of the feeling of Kavinskyt the only thing that drenched his boxer briefs, and he let out a sharp sound that could have been a hiss or a laugh through his teeth. Chainsaw hissed from her cage, and he couldnt grasp in that moment.
All he could grasp was the elastic band of his boxer briefs to pull them down and wrap his hand around his dick the way that Kavinsky had. Ronan worked himself with that combination Kavinsky had taught him, and he came undone again with Kavinskyt let get away.
Ronan never lied, but his soul was a shelf full of answers to questions no one would ever ask. Those were his secrets.