Infinitely.
Every bit of my blood was drained down. My face palid, my expression torn. My mind was consumed with pain and a sudden foreign yet familiar fear. The fear of losing someone so deeply important to me once again.
I watched the streets blur past me as I sped through Tarzana, making my way to her home. My grip on the wheel tightened every passing second, and small droplets of perspiration rolled down my forehead.
Eddie… Loren is-
The few seconds of conversation I had with Pop's repeated over and over again in my head. I hung up as I soon as I sensed his distressed tone and her name escaped. My mind created the worst possible scenarios, and Loren in danger were the first one to hit me. My body tense; the turmoil in my head juggling back and forth; my cheeks burning; and my breathing hitched. I was taken from my capability to think as all of the memories I have had with Loren quickly cascaded.
Loren, the girl who took my breath away for a split second the moment I laid eyes on her. The girl who has my mind whirling around an infinite abyss filled with yearning memories of her. The girl who has my whole being in the palm of her hands. She was in danger, and I'd be damned if I don't do anything about it.
I skidded to a complete stop as the traffic light turned unexpectedly red. I hissed and dabbed my face. It was heating from my anxiety to see her and make sure she's alright. And my restlessness and desperation to just be around her startled me. It was confusing how fond I have grown towards Loren in just two weeks. The emotions, the reactions, and thoughts she created within me dumbfounded me. Maybe that's the reason why I have the need to see her at this instant, and why I acted so irrational before letting Pop finish. I have become too attached to her, to the point where she invades every waking moment of my day and even dreams.
The light turned neon green, and I was already turning right. I let out a breathless sigh as her white porch surrounded with an abundance of flowers came into view. The driver's door shut, and I walked up to her front door, knocking exasperatedly. I heard footsteps, and soft whispers behind the door and was soon greeted by the concern face of a mother. She smiled at me, but I sensed the strain in her smile.
"Eddie, come in." Nora said. I complied, and looked around for Loren. I met Pop's questioning gaze instead. He sighed, and a knowing smirk appeared.
"Is Loren here?"
"Yes," Nora responded and I let go of the breath I didn't even know I was holding. "Um, just wait a moment and then you can see her." I nodded and Nora left the room. I placed my hands on my pockets and my jaw clenched.
"I hope you didn't come here with the police and helicopters trailing behind you."
Pop's voice pulled me away from my tumultuous thoughts and I ripped my gaze from the hallway that led to Loren's room. "What?" I looked at him confused and he shrugged. "I called you fifteen minutes ago, Eddie. And Sunset is not exactly close to Tarzana."
"I-I know." I stated lamely. He observed me for a few seconds before shaking his head in bewilderment. "You know something, you remind me of someone right now."
"Yeah? Who?"
He smiled, "Me."
I chuckled, "Well, of course Pop's. Hm, but in what aspect?"
"Of when I met your mother." He quickly said. My eyes widened and I cocked my head, staring at him in bewilderment. "You remind me of how I'd go at the end of the world just to make sure she's okay."
"What does this have to do with anything?"
"Eddie, I know that you-"
"Eddie." We both turned our gazes to Nora. She smiled at me and signaled towards Loren's room. I turned back to my father and he shrugged, urging me to go on. I quickly followed Nora and I was suddenly taken captive by Loren's dimly lit room with lilac colored walls. I smiled as I quietly observed her room for the first time. I dismissed my attention from the posters to the ukulele hanging on the walls as I stared at the sleeping woman on the bed. My eyes fixated on her rosy cheeks, her uneasy frown and her hazel eyes closed for me to see.
"She has a really high fever. Probably from her body temperature transitioning from cold to hot too quickly. The doctor came and prescribe her a medication, she'll be okay." Nora stated quietly. I nodded and smiled in relief. She gently caressed Loren's cheek before exiting the room and leaving us alone. I stared at the beauty, and gently, I sat down on the small stool beside her bed.
For a while, I watched her trouble expression and her lips softly quaver. Her chest rose up and down in a hastily manner, and she laid still. It took a moment for her breathing to calm down, and when it did, she let out a frustrated suspire. I smiled watching her. My eyes casted down to her unclenched hand. I lightly traced the veins in her wrist, to the lines on her palms, to the small cut on the tip of her pinky that she got a few days ago from playing foosball.
"Eddie…" A soft murmur caused me to quickly look up. I looked up expecting to see her awake, but she wasn't. She was still fast asleep as her eyebrow were furrowed together and her lips pressed into a thin line. And as she continued to whisper my name, her expression changed. A small smile appeared, and she sighed in content as she said my name again, "Eddie."
I stood astounded as I watched her cheeks flush with red, and her smile lingered. I swallowed and shook my head. My cheeks burned, and I chuckled lightly. My hand held hers and, unconsciously, my fingers slowly intertwined with hers. I clutched her hand, and felt a strong grip on mine as well. My smile stayed put and she soughed again as if she felt comfort and warmth confound her. My own turmoil was gone as I felt reassurance and I was finally in peace. I continued watching her before my eyes began betraying me and drowsiness was quickly taking me captive. I gently laid my head on her bed, mere inches separating me from her body. My eyes began to close and I fell asleep with the sound of her steady breathing, and the comforting grip on my hand.
Hours, minutes, or maybe seconds passed before I was awaken by someone gently patting my shoulder. My vision blurred as I sat up straight and soft words I couldn't decipher yet were spoken next to me. A smile took over me as I came to the view of a brunette sleeping peacefully. I sighed and looked up to Nora and my father. Pop's was smirking and Nora was smiling gleefully.
"How long have I been sleeping for?"
"A few minutes."
"Oh, okay." I internally sighed in relief. "What time is it?"
"A quarter after 10."
"Oh, um, I think I should be heading out." Nora nodded knowingly, and I stood up. "I'll wait for you outside." Pop's informed me before walking out of the room. I turned my attention back to Loren. Our hands intertwined with the other. I softly caressed the back of her hand with my thumb before softly planting a kiss on it. I was untangling my fingers from hers when she grappled hers tighter. I struggled to let go of her hand, but she had an indispensable grip on mine. I laughed nervously, "She doesn't want to let me go."
"That could be a problem." Nora stated with a smile. I sighed in defeat and Loren held my hand in hers, not letting me go. "I mean, I could pull her hand away but I don't want to wake her up."
"Don't… Eddie, why don't you stay the night? You're obviously a good company for Loren. Your presence gets her at ease, so stay the night."
I smiled neurotically, "What if she wakes up and sees me sleeping next to her?"
"Don't worry about that. I think she'll like seeing you. Just stay." She squeezed my shoulder reassuringly and I nodded in defeat. I sat back down on the stool, "Okay." Our hands laid on the bed, and Loren began tugging me towards her.
"Even unconscious she knows what she wants." I heard Nora murmur.
"Huh?"
"Nothing," She quickly added. "I'll get going. I guess I'll see you in the morning. Good Night."
"Good night." The door shut behind her, and my gaze fell back on Loren. The serene expression stayed put and I bit my lips. I lightly stroke her hand, and minutes passed. It was just that, us and a peacefull silence engulfing us and the entire room.
It was in between those minutes that it struck me. Realization suddenly dawned to me in an unforgettable notion, and I still remember how I quickly looked up to her and my heart began pounding out of my chest. My cheeks turned scarlet, and my breathing was stuck in my throat.
I was in deep.
The words wanted to come out. To be immediately uttered. But I held them, and I silently chuckled. I shook my head as I let the overwhelming feeling and realization completely captivate me.
"Eddie…" She whispered a little clearer this time. And I looked down at our interlocked hands. It felt like the most natural thing to me, holding her hand and feeling this way towards her.
"Eddie." Her voice was clear, and she sounded a bit surprised. My gaze lingered on our hands and I swallowed, letting the words come out safely as I knew she was still asleep.
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere…" I smiled. "I love you."
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