People always used to ask me, why someone like me worked in a place like that, all those years ago.
Gilbert Beilschmidt groaned loudly, glancing down at the bright pink, sticky note in his hand.
Gilbert was an albino man of twenty-six years from the east side of Berlin, Germany. He had been living here, in the states, for a grand total of five years, and he couldn't say he hated it in the new country. He had a light German accent but his English was well learned and pretty understandable. His place of work was at a local hospital as a nurse. Now that, he could say, was something he absolutely hated.
Currently he was assigned to a new room on the second floor, as a temporary assistant to the resident since the one who had been taking care of the patient was out today.
If you'd asked me that question ten years ago, before June the fifth, I would've told you that I had nothing better to do, I had no reason to be there, and that I had always hated the job.
It irritated him greatly, the other nurse that had given him the notice told him nothing of the current user of the room. No name, or age, gender, or even what they were like, she only stated the room number, and to go and get the job done without complaint. Of course, there was complaining, but nonetheless, he went on about his way.
He'd found the room at the very end of the hall.
You're probably wondering why a simple date meant anything at all. But I can assure you, that date was the moment my life changed forever.
The door was a pale, off white, looking a bit like aged paper. It had a light yellowish tint, and it was unlocked. Outside the door, to the side, it read the following.
Bonnefoy, Matthew.
Gilbert shrugged, and opened the door. Inside, lying there was a little boy, staring at the open window as the sunlight streamed in, reflecting off his white sheets.
It was that date that I met Matthew Bonnefoy for the very first time.
The boy had long, wavy blond hair, coming just a few centimeters passed his shoulders. His eyes were transfixed on that window, as the slow rise and fall of his chest conducted the oxygen intake. But they were such small breaths that, at first, Gilbert thought he wasn't even alive until he turned to him. Now looking at him closer, his eyes were a striking shade of violet.
He looked quite tired but said in a voice Gilbert could barely hear, "Hello mister…where is Ms. Camille?"
Of course, at the time, I thought he was just a kid, nothing more, nothing less. But I would soon be proved wrong.
The German blinked, realizing that Camille, the nurse out today, must've been taking care of him. He sighed and walked over, jamming the sticky note into his pocket.
"My name's Gilbert, and Camille is out today. So…I'll be taking care of you kid. Sound good?"
The boy nodded slowly. "I understand…that's all right…"
Making a noise of acknowledgement, Gilbert pulled up a seat and sat down next to the bed.
"So…you wanna tell me about yourself…?"
Matthew just stared at him with those purple eyes, not uttering a word.
The albino made a face, beginning himself.
"Well…my name is Gilbert like I said. I'm albino, which means my skin is a lot paler than yours, and the sun tends to hurt me more than it does you. I'm from Berlin, Germany, but I'm of Prussian descent. I can still speak fluently in German, and I have one younger brother who is married and living in New York City. My mother is dead, and my father is living back in Germany. And what about you?"
At first, the boy continued to stare, as if taking every line and feature on the man's pale face. It was a bit uncomfortable, as if he were being analyzed inside and out. But slowly, words formed on his lips.
"My name is Matthew…"
It was Gilbert's turn to stare, urging him to continue his tale.
It took me forever to get him to open up to me. And when I did, they were simple things like his name, where he grew up, that he could speak French as well as he could English, you know, regular conversation, until finally, one day, he spoke out to me.
"Mister Gilbert…do you love your papa?"
The question was sudden, and Gilbert gazed at him curiously as he popped the soda can and drank from it.
"Huh? My dad? Not really. He was a real jerk to me…so I can't really say I love him."
The boy nodded slowly, shifting slightly and with a bit of difficulty in his bed. "I love my papa very much…but he doesn't come to see me…I think he's still sad over maman…"
"Your mom?"
Matthew shook his head, frowning. "Maman died a few years ago from a car accident…papa cried a lot…and I did too…" he began, closing his eyes. "I wish she didn't have to die…but papa told me that she went to be with God. He said that God had called her home and that she couldn't stay any longer. But he told me that I'd see her again someday…"
The albino gave him a melancholy smile, patting his head lightly. "You'll see her again, I know it."
"That's what the doctors said…"
"Come again?"
Matthew opened his eyes and looked over at him. "I was put into the hospital a few months ago when I couldn't walk anymore…there's something wrong with me…they say. It's some kind of sickness… it's taking over my body they say…they told me I'm going to see maman really soon…"
Gilbert could only blankly look at him. Is that why he never got up?
"What…sickness is it?" he asked quietly, almost not wanting to hear.
"They didn't tell me…but even then they don't even know where it came from…the doctor said it might have had something to do with maman dying…and the after effects on myself…but…I don't know. It's just some sickness that just takes things away from me…like…I can't walk anymore…I can't taste as well anymore…I can't even remember what the name of the school I went to…" he responded, his frown deepening.
Gilbert could only take his head, and squeeze, mumbling a silent prayer.
I knew that he must have been suffering, but what could I have done? All I could do was be his friend.
Gilbert had asked to be Matthew's permanent nurse when Camille returned, three days later. No one understood why, or what happened, but without hesitation, they allowed him to be it.
I remember his eleventh birthday.
The German man grinned, as he held the soft toy in his hand. Today was Matthew's eleventh birthday, and he'd wanted to get the little boy something that he would remember. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered that he'd briefly mentioned having a love for polar bears, so he thought this would surely make him smile.
He got him a stuffed polar bear, soft and cuddly, with two big eyes, and a little pink nose. Gilbert had found it one day while he was looking for a gift. Without hesitation, he'd purchased it and here it was now, in his hands. So, with an even wider grin, he opened the door.
"Hey! Matt!"
The boy jumped a bit, looking around for the source of the voice. His eyes soon fell to the man in the doorway, and an ever so small smile graced his lips.
"Mister Gilbert…"
Nodding, the albino walked closer, holding the toy behind him. "Hey kiddo. So listen, today's really special right~?"
Matthew actually looked a bit confused. "Not…that I can think of…why…?"
Gilbert frowned. "But…today's your birthday! Come on, don't play that game!"
He shrugged, letting a frown of his own appear. "I don't really think about my birthday too often…"
Gilbert clicked his tongue. "Well, that just won't do! That is not awesome Matt, not awesome at all. So allow me to give you the first happy birthday!" he held out the toy, and watched the boy's eyes grow wide.
"F-for me…?"
"Yes! I bought it for you kiddo! You and I are friends; friends do awesome stuff for each other! And I remember you telling me you liked polar bears! So I saw this and thought of you! You like it?"
The blond took the bear, putting his smaller face into the soft object. A muffled giggle was heard as he pulled out and nodded vigorously.
It was the first time he'd seen him smile like a child should.
It took a while, but slowly I came to the realization that he had been dying right before my eyes.
One morning, when Gilbert walked in, he noticed that Matthew was lying down, looking straight up at the ceiling. He held a plate of the boy's favorite food in his hand.
"Matt! I brought you something~!" he grinned, walking over.
On the plate were two, hot, round, drenched in syrup pancakes. Matthew had briefly mentioned a few days ago that pancakes were his favorite food, and that his parents used to make it for him every morning before he went to school. Gilbert thought that he would like the gesture.
The boy made no movement to turn; the only noise from him was that of his breathing, a bit fast paced and raspy.
"Mister Gilbert…are…my eyes open?" he asked softly.
The German looked at him, analyzing his face and noting that his eyes were indeed open. "Yeah, why…?"
"I think the sickness got to my eyes…I can't see anything…" he murmured.
Gilbert bit his lip, waving his hand in front of his face, watching Matthew not even flinch. He sat down, and put the plate on his lap.
"H-here! Eat this…you like this!" he began.
Matthew moved his head down towards the circular object in his lap, and poked it with his small finger. He felt the syrup on his finger, and put it into his mouth. A beautiful, endearing smile appeared on his face.
"Maple syrup…" he said happily, going for another finger full when Gilbert stopped him.
"Woah! Slow down there, kiddo, don't want you to get all sticky. Here…" Gilbert grinned lightly as he took a fork and cut a piece out.
"Say 'ahh'…"
"Ahh…" Matthew repeated, opening his mouth.
In went the sweet food he loved so much.
I'd known him for a month, one measly month and I had grown more attached to him than I'd ever had anyone else.
Gilbert walked in one night, sitting next to the bedside of the little boy.
"Hey Matt, how are you feeling?"
Matthew blinked, turning his head to him. "My throat hurts…"
"Want something to drink?"
The boy shook his head. "I'll…be alright…"
Gilbert frowned, but nodded, respecting his wishes.
There was quiet in the room, and it was dark despite the crescent moon shining through the window curtains. The sounds of the albino's breathing mingled with the sounds of the more hindered and raspy breaths of the younger person.
They stayed like that until late into the night, silence being their only spoken words.
'You never know what you have until it's gone'. I had never understood the full meaning of that phrase until June the fifth.
It was warm that night, but not hot. The window's curtains were pulled back again, letting the waxing crescent make light to the room. His breath was rough, and his head hurt. Water sounded like it was rushing in his ears, dimming sound. His eyes welled with tears as the pain was throbbing inside of him. He gasped softly, as the door opened.
"Mattie~ hey kid, how you feeling?"
Matthew put up a weak smile, as the tears continued to roll down his cheeks. At the sight, Gilbert rushed to his side, worry painted on his face.
"Matt! What's wrong?"
The boy shook his head, "I-I…I think…I think it's time for me to go see maman…"
Gilbert felt his heart just drop suddenly, as he swallowed a lump that had risen in his throat. He took up the boy's hand, squeezing it gently before asking, "…what?"
"I-I don't k-know…everything…hurts…" he began to sob as his shaky breaths were followed by a string of coughs. "Am…I going to see maman now…?"
He couldn't help but squeeze harder, as he swallowed again. He didn't know what was happening to him, but all he knew was that he didn't want to lose him. In only a month he'd grown so used to him, and losing him felt like ripping a part of his heart out. But all the same, wouldn't it be better this way? Wouldn't he be happier, healthier? Biting his lip, he nodded slowly. "Yeah…so make sure…you tell her how much you missed her…and…h-how much you love her…"
A brush of quiet washed over them, Gilbert's hand clenched firmly on the boy's tinier one.
"Will…you sing for me…?"
Gilbert stared at him, as Matthew closed his eyes. "Maman used to sing for me before she laid me down to sleep at night. Will you…? Please?"
The struggle in his voice made Gilbert shake his yes. He quickly racked his brain for the lullabies he was sung when he was a child, and soon, the words formed.
"Der Mond ist aufgegangen…Die goldnen Sternlein prangen…Am Himmel hell und klar…" he sang.
"Der Wald steht schwarz und schweiget…Und aus den Wiesen steiget…Der weiße Nebel wunderbar…"
He kept a firm grip on the boy's hand, his eyes going from his face to the window constantly.
"Wie ist die Welt so stille…Und in der Dämmrung Hülle…So traulich und so hold!"
The albino closed his own eyes, just letting the soft melody take over.
"Als eine stille Kammer…Wo ihr des Tages Jammer…Verschlafen und vergessen sollt…"
"Seht ihr den Mond dort stehen…Er ist nur halb zu sehen…Und ist doch rund und schön!"
"So sind wohl manche Sachen…Die wir getrost belachen…Weil unsre Augen sie nicht sehn."
"Wir stolze Menschenkinder…sind eitel arme Sünder…und wissen gar nicht viel…"
"Wir spinnen Luftgespinste…und suchen viele Künste…und kommen weiter von dem Ziel…"
"Gott, laß dein Heil uns schauen…Auf nichts Vergänglichs trauen…Nicht Eitelkeit uns freun!"
"Laß uns einfältig warden…Und vor dir hier auf Erden…Wie Kinder fromm und fröhlich sein!"
"Wollst endlich sonder Grämen…aus dieser Welt uns nehmen…durch einen sanften Tod…"
"Und wenn du uns genommen…laß uns in Himmel kommen…du, unser Herr und unser Gott!"
"So legt euch denn, ihr Brüder…In Gottes Namen nieder…Kalt ist der Abendhauch."
"Verschon uns, Gott! mit Strafen…Und laß uns ruhig schlafen…Und unsern kranken Nachbar auch…"
With the closing line Gilbert opened his eyes, gazing at the closed eyes of Matthew. He had a small smile on his face, and said just above a whisper, "Thank you…"
And slowly, with one final inhale, and exhale, the rise and fall ceased. In a moment's time, Gilbert began shakily, "M-Matthew…?"
When no response was received, he asked again, his voice a bit more desperate. "Matthew!"
No response still. The German couldn't fight the overwhelming sadness as he moved himself onto the bed, sitting next to the form that once held life. He cradled the body close to him, stroking the silky, blond locks as he cried. He wasn't honestly sure when he started, but fat, wet tears streamed down his face as he sobbed.
On the night of July the fifth, Matthew Bonnefoy died peacefully with a friend by his side.
People always used to ask me why someone like me worked in a place like that, all those years ago.
My answer?
Matthew Bonnefoy, the boy who changed my life forever.
Rewrite Pending. ~Edit~ Scratch that, I don't think I will. C:
Please enjoy! The song Gilbert sang to Matthew is called 'Der Mond Ist Aufgegangen' by Matthias Claudius.
-IchigoMelon