Disclaimer: All characters belong to Jerry Bruckheimer and the creators of All My Children.
She shouldn't be here. Greenlee knew that, but it didn't stop her from entering the bar and making her way to the counter. A year ago, she never would have been in a place like this, she would have been at some upper-class bar, but now she just didn't give a damn. Now this was her kind of place. As she ordered a double shot of brandy, a conversation she'd had six months ago forced its way into her thoughts.
"Zach, what are you doing here? How the hell did you find me?" Greenlee hissed.
"I hired a private investigator."
"God you are completely unbelievable."
"Look, I'm not crazy about being here, but I'm doing it for Kendall. She needs her sister."
"She is not my sister! If she was, she never would have-"
"Agreed to carry your child?"
Her eyes flashed angrily and the glass she'd been holding smashed against the wall. "That is not my child." Her voice was deadly calm. Zach took a step back, not sure what to expect. He'd seen Greenlee happy, upset, pissed off, and just about every other emotion, but he'd never seen her like this. And that scared him because he knew that now she was totally unpredictable. "Kendall took my baby from me. The only dream I had left and she ripped it away from me without a second thought. Sisters don't do that to each other!"
"You know she didn't want things to happen like this. Kendall didn't have a choice, Greenlee. She knew that without Ryan's child you wouldn't have a reason to live. She didn't want that to happen. Maybe things shouldn't have gone down the way they did, but she made a mistake. And she's not the only one. A lot of mistakes were made that night."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Zach sighed and looked at the woman in front of him. He'd never made the effort to get to know Greenlee but looking at her now he knew she wasn't the same person she had been in Pine Valley. Her eyes were cold and hard. They no longer held any kind of emotion and her stance radiated anger. "I'm the one who caused the blackout. I saw the way Ryan reacted when he found you were pregnant and I didn't want Kendall to be subjected to the same thing. So, I caused the blackout, but obviously it didn't work."
"You son of a bitch." In a lightning quick reflex, her hand shot out and connected with his cheek. "How dare you!" She picked up the book she'd left on the table that morning and threw it at him. Zach ducked out of the way and the book barely missed him. "How dare you! What gave you the right to play God with my life? My life, Zach. MINE!" He saw a flicker of something besides anger in her eyes, but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. "When you decided to blackout the entire city, you snatched away the one thing in this world that I wanted more anything."
"Ryan's child."
"A baby, Zach. I wanted a baby. And yes I wanted it to be Ryan's because I was in love with him, but more than that I wanted to be a mother. Now that can't ever happen. Because of you."
"You hate me? That's fine. Just come back to Pine Valley."
"And pretend that everything's fine? Watch Kendall and Ryan raise the child that was supposed to be mine? I can't do it, Zach. I won't live a lie. Why do you care so much anyway?" She looked at him sharply and that was when she figured it out. "Oh, my God. You're in love with her."
"What difference does it make?"
"It doesn't, but now this little visit makes sense. Kendall found out that you caused the blackout and she divorced your sorry ass. Then for some reason she took you back, but she still holds some resentment for what you did so you tracked me down to try and bring me back and score some major good guy points. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but your little plan? It just backfired big time. I'm never going back to Pine Valley."
Zach let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair. This was proving to be a lot more difficult than he had originally thought. "You're not the same Greenlee that I used to know."
"That's because she's dead. She'd been hurt too many times and she couldn't take the pain anymore. Greenlee Lavery doesn't exist anymore. And she never will again."
"So who are you?"
"The person I was before I married Ryan. Someone who's not so caught up in love that she crashes and burns without it. That's who I've always been but then I got stupid and I lost myself in Ryan. It's a mistake I won't make a second time."
"Greenlee-"
"No. We're done here, Zach. Go back to Kendall and her son. And if you want to tell her about your little plan that's fine, but don't even think about telling her or anyone else where I am."
Two days later she'd left Manhattan and had been on her way to the west coast when her damn car had broken down in Philadelphia. It was closer to Pine Valley than she wanted to be, but Scotty Valens had stopped to help her and while she was waiting for her car to be fixed, he'd bought her lunch. A call from the mechanic had turned her stop into an overnight stay and Scotty had offered to let her crash at his place. They spent most of that night playing poker and drinking scotch. There was something about Scotty that had drawn Greenlee in and it had been enough for her to stay in Philadelphia. Later she'd found out that his fiancée had been shot to death by a suspect on a case their department had been working on.
That was what drew them together. They'd both lost someone they loved more than life. They'd both been hurt more times than they could count. Their hearts had been broken and bruised to the point where they didn't let themselves feel anymore. And yet, they shared an incredible connection.
"Hey, sexy," Scotty greeted, sitting down beside her and ordering a drink. Instead of replying, Greenlee simply took another sip of her own drink. "I'm guessing you had a bad day."
"It was fine until I looked at the calendar."
"Why? What's today?"
She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to forget."
He stood up and grabbed her hand. "Come on."
"Come on where?" She groaned as she stood up. "Scotty, I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to stay here and get so drunk I can't think straight."
"My idea's better. And it won't leave you with a hangover in the morning."
"Fine. Let's go." He led her through the club to a back room where he picked the lock then opened the door for her. "A dark room? This is your brilliant idea?"
Scotty shot her an exasperated look as he shut and locked the door. "Do you ever stop talking and just let something play out?"
"Shutting up now."
"Good." He smiled and pulled her into his arms then captured her lips in a kiss. She parted her lips, deepening the kiss, as he turned and crushed her between the wall and his warm, rock hard body. When his hand slid between them and pushed her skirt out of the way her hands flew to his belt, undoing the buckle then unbuttoning and unzipping them.
This was what they did best. When the pain became unbearable, they turned to sex. Rough, no-feelings-involved, wherever-we-are-will-work, I-need-you-now sex. There was nothing romantic about it and they both preferred it that way. And as Scotty entered her this time, Greenlee moaned and tore her mouth from his.
They made eye contact for a split second before she lowered her head to his neck, nipping at the skin that was there. He continued to thrust in and out of her and as she raked her nails down his chest, he scraped his teeth over her bare shoulder. In response, Greenlee sank her teeth into his shoulder causing Scotty to growl and increase the power of his thrusts. Seconds later they were both crying out as they fell over the edge together.
She lifted her head to look at him and he could see in her eyes that she was far from done. It always went like this. They ravished each other for hours then went their separate ways. They were more than friends but they would never fall in love. It was against all the rules they'd set that first night they had spent in his apartment. They had the best of both worlds and they never had to worry about their arrangement falling apart because neither of them was willing to risk their hearts again.
"Again," Greenlee breathed.
Two days later Kendall Hart Slater entered the Philadelphia Police Department holding a car seat. "Can I help you?" Lilly Rush asked.
"I'm looking for Greenlee Lav-Smythe. I was told that she's friends with some of the people that work here and I was hoping someone could tell me where she lives."
Lilly nodded and stood up. While Greenlee had become friends with most of their team, Scotty was the only who had been to her place enough to know the address. "I know she lives about fifteen minutes from here, but I don't the exact address."
Kendall let out a frustrated sigh and shifted Spike's carrier. She should have looked through Greenlee's file herself to find her address, but she hadn't. After she had seen the folder with her best friend's name on it, she'd confronted Zach and he'd told her that he knew where Greenlee was. That, of course, had let to a fight. Eventually, Zach had given in and told here that Greenlee was in Philadelphia but he'd refused to give her any other information. "Do you know anyone else who might know where she lives?"
"My friend, Scotty, does, but he's out working a case right now."
"When will he be back?"
"He should actually be back any minute. You can stay and wait for him if you want."
"Thank you."
Lilly smiled as she looked at the baby in the carrier. "Your son is beautiful. How old is he?"
"Six months. His name is Spike."
"Spike?"
"It's unusual I know, but I fell in love with it while I was pregnant. Do you want to hold him?"
"You don't mind?"
"No, not at all. Besides, Greenlee trusts you and since that's not something she does easily anymore, I trust you." Kendall set her son's carrier down then lifted him out and placed him in Lilly's arms.
"Hi, Spike. It's nice to meet you." Lilly looked up from the sleeping baby in her arms and met Kendall's eyes. "This may not be any of my business, but do you know why Greenlee doesn't trust anyone?"
Kendall sighed and held tightly to her son's blanket. "She's been through a lot these past couple of years. She went through hell with her husband and then I betrayed her. It's a long story, but Spike is a big part of it. Greenlee reached critical mass and she left Pine Valley a year ago."
"So you're here to fix things between the two of you?"
"If it's possible, but my main goal here is having Greenlee meet Spike. She's the reason he's here and I want her to know that. I want her to know that she and my son will always share a special connection. I'm Kendall Slater, by the way."
"Lilly Rush."
"Hey, Lil, did I have any-cute kid," Scotty said, stopping beside his friend.
"Thank you," Kendall smiled.
"Scotty, this is Kendall Slater. She's looking for Greenlee and I told her you could help her."
"I can take you to her place," Scotty agreed.
"Thank you so much. I really appreciate this," Kendall said.
Greenlee opened her door and smiled when she saw Scotty. Her smile faded, however, when she saw Kendall. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.
"We need to talk," Kendall replied.
"No, we don't. There's nothing to talk about."
"Greenlee, I'm not leaving."
She was going to kill Zach. But until then, there was clearly no way of convincing Kendall to leave. "Fine. You can come in."
"Do you want me to stay?" Scotty asked as Kendall moved into Greenlee's apartment.
"No. I'll be fine. Just do me a favor."
"What's that?"
"Have the alcohol at your place ready."
"No problem." She kissed his cheek then shut the door and turned to face her former best friend.
"Why are you here?"
"Because we need to talk."
"Isn't it a little late? It's been a year, Kendall. And since you're here, I'm assuming that means Zach told you about his little trip when I was in Manhattan."
"Yeah, he did."
"So you should know that you just wasted a plane ticket. There's nothing you can say."
"Greenlee, please. Will you just listen to what I have to say?" Kendall pleaded, setting Spike's carrier down on the table.
"Why? Why should I listen to anything you have to say? Before I left everything you told me was a lie. How do I know it's going to be different this time?"
"Because I'm sorry, Greenlee. What I did was wrong, but I did it for you. I knew you wanted a child and this-"
"I can't hear this again, okay? I can't."
Kendall nodded as she unbuckled her son and picked him up. "I understand, but the main reason I came here is so that you could meet Spike."
Greenlee shook her head as tears welled in her eyes. "Kendall, no. It's too hard. Just looking at him reminds me of what I lost. I can't hold him."
"Well, that's just too damn bad," Kendall said, her own voice thick with tears. "You're holding my son. Because without you, I wouldn't have him. You are the reason Spike exists. And you need to know that." Despite Greenlee's protests, Kendall placed Spike in her arms. "Say hi to Aunt Greenlee."
Greenlee smiled through her tears as she looked down at the little boy. "He's beautiful." Spike opened his eyes and Greenlee's breath caught in her throat.
"He has Ryan's eyes." Kendall voiced Greenlee's thoughts. "I noticed it the first time I saw him."
"You're so lucky to have Ryan as your daddy. He'll always be there for you. And your mom-she's the most loyal person you'll ever know."
"Greenlee-"
Overcome with emotion, Greenlee shook her head. "I'm sorry. This is-I can't handle this." She handed Spike back to his mother then sank into a chair. "Thank you for letting me hold him, but it doesn't change anything. I'm not going back to Pine Valley. I won't be that person again."
"I understand. But you need to understand that this doesn't change how I feel about you. You're my sister, Greenlee, and I will always love you."
"Kendall, don't. Just go."
Two weeks later Greenlee was standing in the pouring rain watching Scotty trace the letters on his fiancée's grave. Scotty had been withdrawn and quiet all day and Greenlee had finally convinced him to open up to her. So now they were here, in the cold, in the middle of a storm. But Greenlee didn't care. Scotty needed to do this and she would be here for him. It had been a year since Josie Sutton had died and since she knew what it was like to lose someone that you loved with your whole heart, she would give him as much time as he needed.
She knelt beside him and slipped her hand into his. "I know this is hard, but you need to do it. If you don't, you'll be stuck in the same place for the rest of your life."
"How do I let her go?"
"You don't. You will never let her go, but you have to say good-bye. It's not fair to Josie that you're still holding onto her like this."
"Where do I start?"
Greenlee squeezed his hand then reached out, placing her hand on Josie's headstone. "Hi, Josie. I'm Greenlee Smythe. We never got to meet but Scotty's told me a lot about you. You know he really loves you. And he misses you just as much. I've been where he is so I know how hard this is. I know how hard it is to lose a love like the two of you shared. It's frustrating and messy and sometimes you feel like giving up, but that's what makes it so beautiful. That's why I'm here. To help Scotty through this and let him know that it will get better."
Scotty watched her in awe. No other woman would do this. They wouldn't be this patient. They would get frustrated and tell him to get over it then give him an ultimatum. But Greenlee was different. Not only was she patient, she was here with him in the pouring rain talking to Josie like she'd always known her. Like she was still alive and standing right in front of them. It made her friendship even more valuable to him.
He pressed a kiss to Greenlee's hand then started speaking. "Hey, Jo, what do you think of Greenlee? She's really something isn't she? You know, she's the one who convinced me to come out here. I think you two would really get along. I'm sorry it took me so long to come here and see you but for the last year, coming here has meant admitting that you're really gone. It sounds stupid I know, but I just couldn't make myself do it. Until now." He kissed his free hand then pressed it to Josie's headstone. "I really miss you, baby. Sometimes it's hard to believe that you're really gone because it's like I can still hear your laugh or smell your perfume or hear your voice. And then I remember and…" Scotty trailed off and Greenlee wrapped her arms around him.
"It's okay. You did good. You did so good."
"How do you feel?" Greenlee asked as she poured hot water into two mugs.
"Lighter," Scotty answered, taking a mug from her. "I know it doesn't make sense, but-"
"It makes perfect sense. I've been where you are. I've experienced all the emotions." She handed a packet of hot chocolate mix to him then opened her own packet. "None of your emotions make sense. Some days you feel like you'll just keep falling into this dark abyss and then one day something clicks. The haze of grief clears and you can start living like an actual human being again."
"I don't think I could have done this without you," he admitted, pouring the chocolate mixture into his water then picking up a spoon and beginning to stir. "You've been really good for me. You made me see that I need to start living again."
Greenlee smiled but shook her head, denying his praise. "You could have done that without me, Scotty. All I did was give you a little extra push. Sooner or later, you would have gotten tired of living like you didn't have a heart and gone to see Josie. I don't deserve any credit." Her words surprised her, but they were true. A year ago she would have gladly taken credit, but now she'd been through too much. She wasn't selfish Greenlee anymore. She'd finally grown up and realized that there was more to life than her own happiness.
"What about you? Are you still living like that?" He'd noticed a change in her during the last two weeks. She was still hesitant to let anyone see her heart, but she'd started smiling more. She opened up more. She'd even started talking about building an apartment complex for teenagers who had no other place to go. Not only would she provide low-rent housing, she wanted to find a way to offer jobs to them so they would have a fighting chance. It was something she wished someone had done for her. She'd had the money but she'd never had anyone to give her meaningful guidance and as a result, she was still trying to find her place.
"I think we're both finally starting to heal. Since Kendall made her impromptu visit and forced me to hold Spike, I've realized that she really was just trying to give me what I so desperately wanted. She did go about it the wrong way, but her heart was in the right place. I just couldn't see it before. I didn't want to see it."
"And now?"
She smiled and took a sip of her drink. "Now I'm still angry, but I can see that ultimately Zach and Kendall were just trying to protect me. And sure the endgame didn't turn out exactly like we wanted, but the result is a beautiful little boy. Spike is-he's not my son, but he is in my heart. I've loved him from the moment I found out that Kendall was pregnant. That's never going to change, but the dynamic between Ryan, Kendall, Zach, and I-it's never going to be the same again. The trust isn't there anymore and I'm not sure it ever will be again."
"It doesn't have to be. You have every right to be hurt. You were lied to by the people you trusted most and you took hits left and right for almost two years. That's a lot more than most people could handle. It just shows how strong you are."
"How did this happen?"
"What?" Scotty questioned, taking a drink of his hot chocolate.
"You offering me comfort. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?"
"Hey, there are no rules here. Isn't that what our entire friendship has been built around? Giving and taking from each other when we need to? You did something incredible for me today and now I'm returning the favor. But if I'm really honest, my motive is a little more selfish today. I like seeing you smile."
"After everything we've been through, I think we deserve to be selfish. Or at least you do. My selfishness is the reason I'm here in the first place."
"Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Alright, you win. But seriously? Thank you for being there every time I've needed you."
"No problem." He stood up and moved around the counter, pulling Greenlee into his arms. "I was just returning the favor."
She smiled and burrowed into his warm embrace. "Whatever the reason, I really appreciate it."
Together, they were getting through the darkest period in their lives and in the process building a much needed friendship. And now that their wounds were finally starting to heal and they could both look past all the hurt and the grief, if they managed to find something more and break all the rules they'd made the first night they met then it didn't really matter. Because just like their friendship, it would be a much needed love. And just like their friendship, it would be healing and it would soothe their bruised and battered hearts. Together, they were moving out of the shadows and into the light, toward happiness.
Standing there, wrapped in Scotty's arms, Greenlee knew that as long as they were together, they could face whatever life planned to throw at them next. All they had to do was trust each other and rely on their friendship. It would always bind them and it could get them through anything.