So this is for Msytii- happy incredibly late birthday! Sorry if this is kind of not so great. But yeah, my first try at Molly/Lysander.
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love is hiding
pretending you don't feel what you do
and making a little place inside
for feelings that can never
see the light of day
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It's rather unfortunate- having Lysander for a best friend that is. Kind of ruined you for all of the other boys out there (and oddly there are a lot of other boys, even though you usually end up just stamping all over their pretty little hearts with your little black flats.)
So you're on another date, one hand in his, the other holding the little bouquet of flowers he gave you in the Great Hall this morning (and it's ohso romantic and any other girl would love love love it). But you can't help but remember Valentine's Day last year when Ly gave you thirteen black roses and a detention when he spelled a giant black heart to float over your head.
You've promised yourself that you aren't in love with Ly, so make meaningless conversation (you're an expert) and bat your pretty blue eyes and toss your hair. It's easy to make him believe you fancy him- you've even nearly convinced yourself. And you just try to make it seem like you're not bored with Quidditch or Transfiguration or whatever you're giggling about now.
Then Lysander comes strolling down the path, and you're not terribly surprised. You wave to each other, because he's got a girl who he's been dating for longer than two weeks and however much you think you want to, making her jealous right now will only make him mad. And besides you've got appearances to keep up- you know the only reason that you have a guy with you is that for once Lysander wasn't banned from Hogsmeade for one thing or another.
You keep walking and make small talk that makes you seem shallow and all, but it really doesn't matter with this guy. And eventually (finally) the day ends and you slip away with "I don't think it'll work" thrown over one shoulder. And by the time you get back to the dorm you've pretty much forgotten about the date (buried it really), because you really have a short memory for people (people, that is, who aren't blond and tall and silver-eyed).
Fighting and laughing and teasing Lysander seems just too hard tonight, and besides there's always a chance that she'll still be with him. And that might just break your heart, even if it sounds so silly and stupid and childish. Even just in your head. So you hide behind homework and give excuses that are ohso tiring to come up with to anyone and everyone.
You actually start the homework too- but soon enough you end up in your bed with a box of chocolates (maybe Valentine's Day is good for one thing) and your stupid heart that decided to fancy the one person you'd prefer things not to get awkward with. The one person who you can actually spend time with and not want to murder them. (killing him because of some stupid prank or whatever is just another part of what makes the two of you you).
It's the day after Valentine's Day, and half the girls are looking completely star struck, a quarter of the others look extremely depressed and the rest look like they really don't care about the general air of love. You keep yourself from looking for the girl Ly went with, and instead actually sit at the Ravenclaw table. Lysander doesn't come over and you cross your fingers that he's just sleeping late. And you don't even care for once that crossing fingers is so little kid and just hope, because you feel silly and young and whatever.
You finish breakfast- fast for you, because you don't have Ly to distract you or steal your food or generally make your life more complicated (wonderful) than it is without him. And you scoop up your bags and think about how you're going to have to talk to someone who isn't just a male to flirt with, and then that Lysander never ever ever misses breakfast. After all, he's six foot three and approximately way too skinny.
But you force yourself away from the will o wisp in your thoughts that is Lysander Scamander and make yourself go to class. And pretend that you're glad, because maybe now you won't get any detentions today. You can almost make yourself believe it too, that you won't miss him and think about whether or not he's with her.
And you feel so incredibly stupid because the two of you are obviously not in love and it isn't like you're together every second of the day. And you're not a girl lost without her best friend or anything like that. Because you are strong and can face anything (you may not be terribly brave but it doesn't matter because you aren't just another Gryffindor Weasley.)
So you make it through the day and you can feel everyone whispering (because you are usually LysanderandMolly and it's like seeing half of a body.) And the only thing that's comforting is the fact you saw her in the halls and it looked like she'd been crying. So you decide to go and find him- because that's what friends are for, to comfort, right? (and you'll just pretend there isn't any other reasons for you going- no one ever said you had to be perfect after all.)
It's night again, and you're not really looking forward to another night with just your thoughts and cheap chocolates to keep you company. And you admit to yourself that maybe (just maybe) you really do need Lysander with you. So you go up to the boy's dormitory and knock on his door. And maybe (just maybe) you're hoping he's there because you might just have something slightly important to say.
He's not there.
You wander back over to the girl's dorm, and think to yourself that obviously the two of you are not meant to be because obviously Fate is trying to keep you apart. So the fact that he's right there, on your bed, just staring at you, makes you turn around, go back out and walk back in. Because obviously you've stumbled into some alternate reality.
And he's still there, and this time he's wearing that stupid (wonderful) smirk of his, and offering you a box of the really good chocolates- the one with the raspberries in the middle. And you want to knock it out of his hand because you absolutely do not forgive him for being gone all of today (except it's raspberries, and so you take it and promise yourself you just won't give him any.)
He offers you an apology over how he's sorry that about how you broke up with what's his face, the one you went to Hogsmeade with yesterday. And he wasn't feeling so great today so he didn't go to class (and you snort, because it isn't like he really needs an excuse to skip.) And in return you pretend you feel bad that he broke up with that girl and he shrugs it off.
And it's back to the two of you, talking and laughing and arguing, and then you flinging a hex to get him to stay away from your chocolates. And it's just you two, for now, before the next Hogsmeade when you have to find someone else for a day because you're both too proud to just go with each other, even just as friends (especially just as friends.)
It's perfect for now, and you wish that you could be brave enough to just say how you feel, but you won't.
After all, you're Molly Weasley and absolutely no Gryffindor.
