This is a pirate ship. It is much, much bigger than a regular pirate ship. And, it is floating. High in the sky flies the colossal pirate ship, making ungodly noises as it inelegantly soars across the great big blue sky. Two rocket thrusters can be seen jutting out of its back, blasting it forward. A propeller, attached to the bottom of the ship, keep it afloat somehow. Circular windows adorn the sides, and the sails are open.
But, it's not the exterior of the ship we need to worry about. It is what lurks inside that must be feared.
In a swiveling chair, facing a wall adorned with monitors, sits Foppy Fiendish. He's a red oval creature with two beady black eyes, like the Mr. Saturns. He lacks arms and instead has two stubby little feet, like the Mr. Saturns. On his head rests a black top hat, and a black cape, attached to a white shirt collar around his neck, hangs off his back. On his face is a menacing moustache that curls around, like some sort of cliché, 1950s movie villain. He also has a black tie. It is very nice.
Around him were various Foppies at their stations, keeping the pirate airship afloat. The Foppies all wore caps and golden star badges as a sign of allegiance to Foppy, the implacable madman bent on total work domination. Some of the Foppies were monitoring the ship's surroundings, some were at the weapons control panel, and a few were at the systems checkup station, making sure nothing goes wrong.
"NYAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Foppy uproariously laughed. "Prima! Secunda!" Two Foppies, wholly non-unique aside from their numbered badges, approached their leader. Prima's badge had the number 1 on it, and Secunda's had the number 2. "How far are we to Fourside?"
"We should be entering the city grounds any minute now, sir!" Prima said.
Fiendish slouched back in his chair, grinning villainously, although he was without a mouth. "Perfect!" Foppy exclaimed. "Soon, the whole word shall know and fear the name: FOPPY FIENDISH! No more will I be a laughing stock in the world of evil! I haven't conquered anything yet, but that is not important right now! I shall take over the world, one continent at a time!"
The minions declared, "HAIL FIENDISH!" An alarm sounded over at the map station. Prima and Secunda approached it, looking at what was going on. The red pirate ship icon had moved over a bustling metropolis on the display, which meant only one thing.
"Sir!" Secunda began. "We are approaching Fourside."
Foppy Fiendish stood up and said "Excellent. Secunda! Prepare the Chomposaur!"
Secunda nodded in understanding and left the room, making his way down to the airship's lowest level. This floor, or basement if you will, was home to the Chomposaur. It's a large, purple, Apatosaurus with stegosaurus spikes tracing down its neck, back and tail. Unlike a regular Apatosaurus, the Chomposaur had stubby legs instead of fuller, longer ones. It could still chase enemies down and stomp on their faces, however.
When Secunda reached the basement, he was greeted by a low growl of the beast. Its large, dopey eyes watched Secunda's every move, never taking its eyes off him. Just beside the Chomposaur's holding cage were an intercom and four buttons. One was grey, for general announcements and could be directed to a certain department within the airship. The yellow button was for contact with Foppy himself, and the third was an emergency button. It ranged from "the Chomposaur broke free and is going on a rampage throughout the airship," to "sweet merciful Giygas, abandon ship!" The fourth button, a green one, opened a hole in the cage that dropped the Chomposaur from the airship and onto its target. Secunda tapped the yellow button with his foot.
"Sir, I'm in the Chomposaur's cage. Awaiting orders."
"Good, Secunda," Foppy said into the intercom on his chair's left arm. He turned to Prima and asked, "How soon before we unleash my pet?"
"In about eight seconds," Prima replied. "…Four, three, two, and one! We've arrived in Fourside!"
Foppy hit the button on his chair's intercom to reply to Secunda. "Secunda! It's time for the Chomposaur to get his exercise. Let him out!"
"Yes, sir!" Secunda replied, and kicked the green button. The Chomposaur looked down as the rotating door it stood on split open, dropping the dinosaur into the city of Fourside. With a loud thump!, the weight of the Chomposaur made a pothole when it hit the ground. Many cars and people were crushed by the dinosaur as its rampage began.
With small, lumbering steps, the Chomposaur kicked things off by crushing a motel with a swing of its whip-like tail. In the blink of an eye, the motel was reduced to shambles and rubble, killing yet even more people. A few people managed to escape before it was too late; the strike was a rather clumsy one, as the Chomposaur just brought his tail down upon a section of it. Still, it flung some more of its victims through the air with another, yet self-contained tail flick.
"My God, what is that thing?!" screamed a man as he turn around to flee.
"It's a… a… dinosaur!" hollered another man.
The Chomposaur lowered its head, opened its mouth, and devoured some of the fearful spectators on the sidewalk. That was it for those poor souls. Gulp! Now they were Chomposaur snacks. How unfortunate.
Cars were crushed under the dinosaur's paws. Flattened like a pancake. Many victims met a similar fate, getting squished by the Chomposaur and getting stuck on the bottom of his paw. It roared in rage as its rampage continued on, smashing, destroying, and breaking anything it felt deserved a good destruction.
"Yes! YES!" Foppy cheered from his seat, watching the Chomposaur's actions on his monitors. "Leave nothing left! Destroy it! Destroy it all! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
After giving the street a thorough walloping, the beast unleashed a stream of fire from its mouth, trailing it up the road and destroying the many houses on the edge of the block. The flames were wispy and looked unnatural, which made sense, considering it is PSI Fire.
Once the attack ended, the Chomposaur continued to the end of the road, coming upon the hospital. It peered inside the upper floors windows, watching as the patients and staff screamed and ran in fright.
It opened its mouth again.
…From the intersection came the gunshots and an array of bullets pelting the Chomposaur's purple hide. At that moment, it lost interest in the hospital and stared down at the Fourside police, their guns drawn.
"STAND DOWN!" shouted Captain Wuss through a megaphone. Unlike his brother Captain Strong, Wuss was clean shaven and, as his name implies, a total weakling. He had a lot of gusto, sure, but it meant nothing when a dinosaur the size of a house could take out his entire squadron in the blink of an eye.
Which it did.
The Chomposaur approached the group of police officers, walking in smaller footsteps to mock them. The police raised their guns once more, but Wuss, the wannabe badass, backed away to his car, fearful for his life.
"S-stay back! I'm warning y-you!" the captain warned, his façade fooling nobody but himself.
"Goodie, more victims!" Foppy said to himself.
As the Fourside police prepared to fire, the Chomposaur reared up on its hind legs and came crashing back down on its front legs, sending shockwaves throughout the area, knocking people over and toppling more buildings. A coffee shop and a burger shop were taken down from the small earthquake. For some reason – possibly for the sake of drama and suspension of disbelief – Captain Strong and his squad were sent hurdling away, their cars rolling off towards the city's border, a ten-foot high brick wall.
By this point, Foppy was in tears from laughing so hard, rolling around the floor in sadistic delight.
"Hmph," Wuss groaned, looking up at the colossus that stood before him.
"What should we do, sir?" asked one of his backing officers.
"Let's bail," replied the captain.
"Sounds good to me!" commented another policeman, and the group rushed for the tunnel that would take them to the desert.
"Is this the end for us?!" a woman shrieked when she saw the cowardly police flee.
Nay, it was not! From far away came a large, grey UFO with three legs. It was the seventeenth Sky Runner Dr. Andonuts had made. It was not particularly different from the other Sky Runners; windows were around the brim, its three, stilts legs were poking out, and it was malfunctioning. Its high, blaring siren, although aggravating, proved somewhat useful here.
The Sky Runner was on a crash course for crashing, flying around on autopilot. Inside was Zoomer, communicating with Dr. Andonuts through walkie-talkies.
"Sky Runner broken. Zoom!" Zoomer explained.
"Oh, dear. Where are you now?" asked Dr. Andonuts.
"Don't know. Somewhere."
Normally, this would be a bad thing. When the Chomposaur heard the siren, it turned around, only to be hit square in the face by the UFO. The Saturn-like ring around the Sky Runner's brim slashed the Chomposaur's muzzle, while the rest of the device collided with its forehead, knocking it over onto its side. The Sky Runner crashed into the ground and lodged itself into a crater the impact made. Smoke, sparks, and the occasional nut or bolt burst out of the machine.
The Sky Runner's bottom door opened, letting a disoriented Zoomer out and into the streets. Our hero, waddling back and forth, caught a glimpse of the defeated Chomposaur lying on its side.
"Whoa. Boing," Zoomer observed.
"WHAT?!" Foppy screeched. "What just happened?!"
Prima explained, "It looks like a spaceship took out the Chomposaur, sir."
"I can see that, you moron!" Foppy barked. He hopped off his chair and stood in front of it, facing it. "Chair, back!"
His swiveling chair automatically pulled itself back, revealing Fiendish's own secret escape hatch. It was a lot like the one the Chomposaur fell through. When the door opened, Foppy jumped down and into Fourside, approaching the fallen dinosaur.
"What a joke," he scorned, standing on the beast's side. "I trained you for twenty years for this, and this is what stops you?" Fiendish looked at the ruined Sky Runner and the dizzy Mr. Saturn who was piloting it. "A UFO? It's not even the size of a house."
Fiendish returned to the streets, storming over to Zoomer. "You there!"
Zoomer shook himself to regain his composure. He looked at Fiendish and asked, "Yes?"
"That's an impressive little vehicle you have. Did you build it yourself?"
"Erm… no," Zoomer hesitantly replied. "Not me. Scientist built it. Boing!"
Foppy nodded as if to insult him. "Right. I would've assumed the Mr. Saturns would be able to build a flying machine. Their technological knowledge knows no bounds, after all."
Zoomer had no idea what Fiendish was talking about. His condescension was present, but there was no actual point made in that comment. Our hero had no idea if he should feel insulted or not, rolling it over in his mind to figure out the message.
"I don't understand," Zoomer eventually replied.
Foppy grunted. "Of course you don't. You're a Mr. Saturn; I'm not expecting you to get my gist."
Zoomer understood that, no question about it. "What's your problem? Zoom!"
"My problem is that you have put a roadblock on my plans for world domination! Have you no respect? I worked very hard on these plans, these schemes, and then you come along and throw them into chaos! Are you proud of yourself?"
"Um…" Zoomer uttered, trailing off. "Yes? Dakota!"
Foppy shot him a poisonous glare, and then kicked Zoomer aside. The hero hit the ground and looked up at the fair dressed villain that was staring him down.
"You may have stopped me this time, but, should we meet again, things will be different" Foppy declared before turning back to his airship. The impressive flying thing loomed over the Chomposaur, pulling it back into its chamber via orange tractor beam and flew away.
"All righty then," Zoomer said, still confused.