A/N: This fic is going to be angsty in the beginning but in a later chapter this is going to contain graphic rape and abuse. In the first chapters, coping with death, and also smut. Can't stomach it, don't read it. And if you don't like it, but the warnings didn't stop you. Not my fault.
I'm not very good at writing smut, that's why I try to make those things short. First time for me to write a multichapter fic, but it's not going to be long. -End of A/N, they're not gonna get shorter.-

Santana is in a relationship with Quinn. *Though none of the characters belong to me.* (But spelling and grammar mistakes do indeed belong to me.)

Now it hurts much more

She is sitting crumbled up in her bed, alone, sobbing, because crying became too painful two days ago. Yes, she had been crying since the doctors told her that her mother left them four days ago.

She hasn't talked to anyone since, not Quinn, because she shouldn't see her in this condition. No one should, because Santana just couldn't bear the questions, the looks, the comments and her friends being extremely worried about her. Santana couldn't be looking weak.

Not her father, basically because he was in denial himself and he wouldn't come out of his office anyways. He locked himself up, with five bottles of scotch and several pictures of his wife.

Santana didn't answer any of the 20 phone calls she became daily. But then, when the doorbell rang, she struggled. But she didn't move, hoping whoever this was would let it go after ringing once. But they didn't. After the sixth ring, she got up, slowly, stretching herself after three days of hardly moving. When she walked past a mirror, she nearly jumped at how horrible she looked, but right now, she couldn't care less.

When she looked through the small window at the door, she saw Quinn standing on the doorstep. Quinn, her wonderful, caring and beautiful girlfriend.

'I can't face her like this' Santana thought to herself and wanted to walk upstairs again. But the bell rang once again and this time she heard a low voice speaking.

"Santana, I know you're there. Would you please open up the door and let me come inside?"

She heard the concern in the blonde's voice, yet, it wasn't really a question, so she went back to the door and opened it, trying not to look at Quinn directly.

Without saying a word she dragged herself over to the living room couch and settled in the same position she was in on her bed. Santana has never been a talker. About feelings, that is. Because Santana didn't do feelings. Except in her relationship with Quinn, still, there she didn't have to talk about it.

But sooner or later she had to talk about it. And she was aware of that this wouldn't happen without her lashing out.

Quinn lifted Santanas' legs up and laid them over her lap. She gently stroked her thigh and waited for the other girl to talk. It wasn't until Quinn heard the roaring of Santana's stomach, that Quinn spoke up.

"What's wrong? Since when haven't you eaten and where are your parents?"

She cupped the raved haired girls' cheek and tried to get her to look her in the eyes. But she continued avoiding her look.

Eventually she answered "I don't know... Two days maybe. He's upstairs, hasn't come out in two days..."

But that wasn't what Quinn wanted to know. She needed to know what was wrong with her usually erratic girlfriend. So she tried again.

"Honey, what. Is. Wrong?"

Santana's body tensed up and she started crying. Again. And it hurt badly, but she couldn't stop. "Everything is wrong!" She choked out between sobs.

Quinn had no idea what was going on, but she knew something horrible must have happened. Santana never cried in front of her. She was a wreck.

"Okay, tell me what happened, otherwise I can't help you." She said with nothing but concern in her voice. She grabbed one of the Latina's hands, interlacing their fingers.

Santana fought a little, trying to shake off the blonde's hand. "She is dead, okay?" Santana said, louder than both of them had expected. "She's gone, my Mama is gone." Tears were streaming down her face now.

That was the first time she said it out loud. Quinn was startled. She didn't know what to say. How come no one told her? How come Santana didn't tell her? "Sweety, why wouldn't you tell me? I could've helped-" "How? What could you have possibly done to help?" Santana said sternly.

"I could have at least been there for you. Supporting you and your dad. Santana, it hurts to know that you don't trust me enough to tell me about this immediately."

She looked at the blonde as if she said something really confusing. "You don't get to be hurt, Q." Santana said, pulling her hand out of her girlfriends'. "You know, I'm sorry for not wanting to be a pain in the neck with my crying." The raven haired girl wanted to get up, but Quinn held her tight by the legs.

"San, no, please just... just talk to me now." Santana looked at Quinn and nodded. "Okay, but I want to eat and drink something first." Quinn smiled because she knew that her girlfriend was going to start talking, finally.

The blonde got up and told Santana with a simple hand movement to not get up. "What do you want?" The other girl just shrugged in response and Quinn rolled her eyes as she walked into the kitchen to fix something to eat.

She made some extra strong coffee for her and Santana - simply because there was nothing else Santana liked, and she knew they'd both need it - and made a sandwich for the other girl, since she knew Santana wouldn't be eating much more than that.

When she came back to the living room, Santana was sitting on the couch like Quinn had left her, though her hair were pulled up properly and somehow her face looked a little more alive than before.

When the blonde placed the plate and the coffee cups on the table, she waited for Santana to finish before she started questioning her.

Surprisingly no questions were needed and the latina started telling the story.
"Five days ago, on saturday, my dad and I had an argument - well basically he was screaming at me because I wrote a C in our last history test. And, I snapped because - you know how I get, when I get yelled at for no valuable reason. And then there was my mum, trying to calm both of us down, but neither of us did. Then the next things I remember only in parts. My mum fell to the ground and everything was quiet in one instant and in the other it was even louder than before. The ambulance came and took us all to the hospital and then I woke up in a hospital room, with my mum not responding to my questions." Santana took a deep breath and swallowed hard before continuing. Quinn realized what was about to come and she grabbed her girlfriend's hand once again.

"M-my dad was also there and he looked like he had been crying for too long. He told me that she had been placed in an artificial coma, because of some kind of brain tumor which damaged her brain too much already..." Santana was staring into nothing and tried to recall what exactly her dad said, but everything was just too blurry.

"I can't remember everything he said. Anyways, after, there was happening much around me, I just didn't pay much attention. I prayed, Quinn, I prayed with all my heart-..." Quinn knew this was her cue and she took the fragile girl and clasped her arms around her. Trying to calm her down as much as possible, by just being there for her. Quinn didn't find any words that could possibly be appropriate to say, she also knew they wouldn't have helped Santana very much.

"She didn't wake up... Dad decided to interrupt the machines that kept her alive, if that's what she was..." Santana finished whispering.

And that's how they sat for, what felt like hours. Santana was beyond happy she'd told Quinn everything.

Yeah, so that was chapter one... Hope it was okay, and reviews always make happy and encourage. :)