Batman Black and White Issue #1
Don't know where, Don't know when.
Batman – Robin come in.
Robin – Robin here.
Batman – I'm on to something meet me on the roof of the Sprang Building, ten o'clock.
Robin – Got it. See you there and then.
Batman – Avoid dectection. Use the clock on the auto-gyro.
Sprang Building, 10:00 PM
10:30 PM.
11:00 PM.
Robin – Come in Batman, Come in, Over!
Midnight.
Something's very wrong, this is never happened before. Unless it's a test? No. No. He wouldn't do that. But if it is, I'm going to pass it. I'll look everywhere… Triple-check with Alfred and the Commissioner. Toss every lousy dive and cheap hood.
Dawn.
I won't give up, honest. I just need a place to rest a moment, to think. A place to avoid… Detection…
Superman – Chin up, son… We'll find him.
Sprang Building, Earlier, 9:00 PM.
Batman – This was too easy. What's the catch?
Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick…
Joker – Catch!
Batman: A ray gun? Oh, please I…
Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick…
Joker: No. A teleporter! And it works!
The Batcave. 6:00 PM.
Superman – I've scanned the city six times, and the surrounding counties. It's like he just disappeared.
Robin: Okay, so you can't see him. Could you… hear him?
Superman: I tried that. I don't hear his voice.
Robin: Not his voice. This. It's a recording.
Ba-Bump, Ba-Bump Ba-Bump, Ba-Bump…
Superman: Of course. Wow. We don't have much time.
Ba-Bump, Ba-Bump…
Superman: Almost there.
Ba-Bump… Ba-Bump… Ba…..
Superman: Don't look!
Ba-bump, Ba-Bump…
Batman: Where. Where are we?
Robin: Korea.
Batman: Seriously? Why, that crazy green-haired, red-lipped bastard! Sorry. Thanks, Clark.
Superman: Don't thank me. Your partner is quite the resourceful little guy.
Batman: So I hear.
THE END.
BATMAN ZOMBIE:
Mrs. Antonette Grant: BATMAN!
Batman: W-what irrr is it?
Mrs. Grant: Please help me.
Batman: I kkkk-cant…
Mrs. Grant: You can do anything… they're coming please, oh please help me.
Batman: You don't… you don't rrrr… rrr understand… I can't help you… in my condition…
Mrs. Grant: Batman. Oh god. Please help me.
Process Server: Mrs. Antonette Grant, this is your service and this is the sheriff… here to assure that you vacate these premises today !
Mrs. Grant: This is my house. I own this house. My older boys aren't even home from school…
Process Server: Im sorry. You have defaulted on your payments to the bank and you are hereby evicted.
Mrs. Grant: But, but, I was refinancing… with the bank, and the bank told me I didn't have to make this payment.
Process Server: How were you told?
Mrs. Grant: By a letter from the bank.
Process Server: Then you will be able to show this to a judge.
Mrs. Grant: But I have the letter here… with all the bank's letters right here. I tried to pay… the bank said no!
Process Server: Im sorry, ma'am. Im not a bill collector. Im just a process server…
Mrs. Grant: But the bank told me not to.
Process Server: Why would they do that?
Mrs. Grant : I told you, the bank was refinancing my mortgage at a lower rate. Then they said I'd get my new papers any day… and I didn't need to pay my old payments 'til the new papers came in…
Process Server: This is out of my hands, Mrs. Grant. I sympathize, but we have a job to do. We require that you vacate these premises now!
Mrs. Grant: Oh my god… this is a nightmare. It can't be happening. BATMAN… please… please help me. I… I… I don't know what to do!
Batman: I… I… I'mmm… sorry… there's nothing I… can do. I have to go now.
Cop: Madam, this is a legal court document. You MUST give us the keys…
Mrs. Grant: Batman! Batman! How can you…
Batman: I'm so… I'mmm so… sorry… gotta move on. I… justtt… I'm sorry. I… just… I'm… needed over here… ? Mmm? Urm? Old… Friends.
Batman leaves the lady's yard to stop Riddler, Joker, Penguin, and Scarcrow from robbing.
Riddler: Joker. You old punch line, you. This is a far superior way to rob armored cars… knowing Bat-Brain will always arrive. It's a party. Not a robbery.
Cop1: Batman thank god it's you. Help! Help us!
Scarcrow: Heheheh.. mommy's widdle boy 'fraid 'a da boogeyman?
Cop2: YAGGH!
Batman: You… sick… twisted… nothing!
Mad Hatter: Don't throw that sack of spl** Oof!
Penguin: Wak!
Scarcrow: No, Don't Pleeazzz!
Joker: Batty whoo-hoo… Commin' at cha.
Batman: Evil…
Joker: Whuffa.
Who… is that?
Batman starts to run after an unknown man.
Batman: It's no use running, you.
Pant pant pant pant
Unknown Man: Oh lord, Lord. It's… He's after me.
Batman catchs him.
Unknown man: I'm… I'm please. I'm not with them. I was just out to get sandwiches and ear drops for my little girl… We didn't… I had nothing to do with that… insanity. Please. We're just… I'm between jobs. B… but… but we're okay… this is… temporary. Tomorrow we