Title: Enough
Author: wildwordwomyn
Word Count: 1483
Fandom: Flashpoint slash
Pairing: Greg Parker/Ed Lane, brief mention of Dean Parker and Sophie Lane
Rating: PG for a few cuss words
Author's Notes: None really. Just wondering what anyone thinks of this.
Disclaimers/Warnings: Spoilers for "Jumping At Shadows". Otherwise no own. No harm intended.
Summary: Ed has an epiphany.
As soon as Ed walks into the conference room he can tell something's wrong. Greg's face is closed off, distant. He's never distant. Well, not anymore at least. They've talked about it. Jules, Spike and the rest of the guys need him. Ed needs him. And that means sticking around even when it hurts. But tonight's case was a bad one. Lasting too long, barely saving the victim, Sam having to take the kill shot. It'd been a clean one. That wasn't the problem. No, the kid had looked like Dean, like Greg's son. That's why he's sitting at the table staring at a blank incident report with a forgotten pen in his hand.
"Greg?" There's no response. "Greg? You in there?"
When Greg finally looks up he almost wishes he hadn't asked. The man looks lost. Lost and scared and Ed has never been able to turn away from someone in pain. Especially when that someone is his partner.
"He's still doing it," Greg finally says in a rough, resigned voice.
Ed slowly sits in the chair next to his, laying a hand on the back of Greg's chair. He knows exactly what Greg means. Dean's still giving back his last name. He's still taking his step-father's. And there's nothing to be done about it. Greg had been hoping. Hell, he'd been hoping Dean would change his mind. But he can't really blame the boy. That's what so sad about it. While Greg was dealing with his demons all those years ago Dean was being cared for by another man. He just wishes it wouldn't have to dig at Greg so much. To lose your child while he's still alive? To know he thinks of someone else as 'Dad'? He leans over and takes his partner's hand in his, holding it gently, caressing his knuckles with his thumb. If he lost Clark...
"He wants to visit me again." Obviously that doesn't mean as much. "But he doesn't want my name, Eddie." Greg's eyes start to fill with tears. "What's wrong with my name? It's a good name." What he's really asking is, 'Will he ever forgive me? Won't I ever be good enough?'
Ed can't stand watching Greg cry. It happens so rarely that he has to fight to let it out and it tears him apart every time. It tears Ed apart every time. He wants more than anything to take the pain into himself but he can't. It's not his child, not his problem. All he can do is keep the man upright whenever life tries to knock him down. It's the least he can do. When that sound, that awful animal whimper punches it's way out of him Ed pulls his chair close to take him into his arms.
"It's a great name, Greg. And one day he'll see that. He just needs time to get to know you. Once he does he'll love you like we do." Like I do, he thinks. If he knew you like I do he'd love you as much as life itself. He wouldn't be able to help himself. "Give him time," Ed murmurs instead. "It'll work out."
He continues to hold Greg well past an hour as the man sobs, hoping it helps. Hoping he can somehow make it a little bit better. He doesn't know what else to say so he stays silent. Not that he's never talked someone down or out before. But with Greg he's always been too close to it all to remain impartial. Greg is family and he doesn't know how to treat him any differently. He finds himself wanting to hit Dean for making his friend feel this way. The kid deserves it even less than Greg deserves what's been done but he still itches to do it. He figures Greg's heart can take only so much more before it breaks for good and he'll be damned if he lets that happen.
It takes him a long second to realize he's kissing Greg's forehead and cheeks, his eyelids, his mouth. Kissing the pain away has only worked for mothers with their young children. But Greg is definitely not a child, and he is no mother. It seems to be working, though, because the man's calming down. Until Ed notices his lips are parting, his tongue coming out to lick at his mouth, sucking hard at his bottom lip in desperation. He tries to back up but Greg won't let him, reminding him of all that hidden strength as he grips Ed's arms, crushing their chests together. It's an uncomfortable position, sitting in chairs next to each other at the table, yet, for some reason, he's actually going with it, giving just as much as he's getting. Because he's never been kissed so hungrily, so aggressively, in all his life.
Suddenly, surprisingly, Greg pushes him away, breathing heavily. "God, Eddie..." he moans softly.
Ed knows he's made things worse instead of better and yet he didn't stop it. Why didn't he stop it? Why did Greg have to be the one? "Hey, what's a kiss between friends?" he jokes half-heartedly. It's in poor taste. That much is clear when Greg looks over at him. His face is a mass of conflicting emotions. The only one Ed understands easily is regret.
"Eddie, I-."
"Come on, Greg. It was my fault. I shouldn't have started it."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. We'll chalk it up to one of those things that'll never happen again and everything will be fine." Greg cocks his head, raising both eyebrows in disbelief. "Come on, it's okay. Really."
Only it isn't. Not when Ed finally figures out why he hadn't pull back. He'd liked it. Greg kisses like he does everything else, with everything he has. There was no tactical maneuvering, no thought-out plan. He just did it without apology, without hesitation. Ed's pretty sure there was fear involved but it didn't matter. Greg kissed him in despite, or maybe because, of his fear, and for that reason alone it was good. Better than good. Ed didn't know he had it in him. He'd never considered it. And now that it happened he's wondering why Sophie's kisses feel so different in comparison. Maybe he'd only ever been on the giving end of that kind of need before...
"What the hell am I doing, Eddie? What are we doing?"
"Like I know? You're the boss!" He consciously strives not to answer sounding as confused as he feels. Greg's lips are red and a little swollen. As if they've been thoroughly worked over. He's done that to him. Unlike Greg he has no regrets. He hardly ever does. He should. He knows that. But he can't find it in himself to take the kiss back or wish it hadn't happened.
"I don't know where that came from, Eddie." His brown eyes are pleading for a mercy Ed can't grant.
"If you don't stop telling me you're sorry I'll have Wordy think up the biggest prank to pull on you." It's an empty threat. They don't play pranks on each other anymore. But it makes Greg crack the barest hint of a smile. "Okay then. Let's get you home."
"I can get home just fine, you know."
"Yeah, Boss, I know." He does too. He knows that he's given him enough strength to get through the rest of the night. If nothing else he's glad for that. "Just making sure you don't hurt yourself on the way."
Greg's smile broadens slowly as they look at each other. He ignores how his gut flares with unexpected heat when he glances at his mouth and quickly raises his gaze back to his eyes. The man rubs at his head, comforting and familiar. Good. We still have that. The thought floats past before he can elaborate on it. He's grateful when it disappears as swiftly as it came. Greg stands, offering a hand to him. He looks at it, then up at his face, then back again. He drops his hand into his friend's and takes a deep breath. Ed lets himself be pulled up and into a tight hug, wondering how they'll handle the fact that they now have intimate knowledge of the inside of each other's mouths, yet there's no doubt they will. He's always been able to have faith in their ability to carry on together. They walk out of the conference room with their arms around each other. When the man lays the side of his head against his own he grins and allows it. He also doesn't complain when the contact ends after only seconds. Even if it's never more it's still better than anything else. With Greg somehow it always is.
The End