Wishing

People call us emos, but that's just because we are quiet to everyone but each other. When we're together, we talk and talk, and there's little to stop us. We are the best of friends, but somewhere along the line it turned to more. I don't know when it happened, but it took me over. But no matter how hard I tried, I could never manage to get things to move farther. I meet regection over and over again though you never say the actual words. It makes me wonder why. Am I not good enough for you? Why though?
I sometimes think that it's because we are the same. Same personality and same gender. Are you embarressed about liking me? I push to speak to you, but I push myself away from the hurt of the coming rejection. I listen to you speak of them, the other one you like. It always stabs me deep, for each time you speak of them I remember that they are the one that you want. I will never be the one you want, regardless of what I do. I put on a brave or indifferent face, refusing to let you see the hurt you place upon me. I sometimes wonder why I bother trying, but whenever I hear your voice, or see your face, I remember why. It's because I love you, and there's no way for me to change that. So I sit through the pain, through the constant rejection. Dreaming of a day that you notice me, notice my hidden feelings. A day where you come to me and only me. Not them. I do not hate them, as they think, but I do envy them for the attention you give them. I wish that one day you would give me that same attention, that same caring look. The hugs and kisses you share with them. I wish that one day it would all be mine. But I always remind myself that that is all just a dream, a fantasy that will never come true.