Disclaimer: I claim nothing! MGLN belongs to its respective owners.

Unexpected

You watch from afar, and you see her look so happy now…so happy…so happy without you. She brings a hand to her mouth stifling a giggle in response to something silly the other has said. Once painfully lonely eyes now sparkle with amusement and affection for her new lover.

The way she smiles for the other is the way she used to smile at you, for you. It was reserved for you and only you, but not anymore…now it's for the other…your replacement. The one who healed her heart after you broke it into a thousand pieces.

Watching her and her lover, it hurts…it hurts so fucking much. It causes your heart to wrench painfully in your chest constricted to the point of exploding. And you start to realize what a detrimental mistake you made. What a stupid error. You had her, you had her completely. She only wanted you, and you threw her away so carelessly like a favorite stuffed toy that you suddenly grew out of.

You remember when it started, when the looks started, when she started looking at you in that way when she thought no one was looking. You feigned being dense, pretended not to notice those looks. And congratulations, it worked. You are not that stupid, but no one was the wiser, you did it because it was easy. It was easier to keep your best friend as your friend, easier to ignore her feelings than to try and work out that issue. A love like that...girls aren't supposed to love like that, at least at the time that's what you believed.

Whenever you were hurt out on missions she was there. There waiting by your bedside when you finally woke up. You remember seeing splotchy cheeks and red puffy eyes. She had obviously been crying, crying for you. God how could you have been so stupid to throw that away? She smiled for you, smiled that beautiful smile and told you she was so glad…so glad you were ok.

You ideally wonder what would have happened if you died…would she have been close behind? To follow you into the deepest pit of hell, for that is the only place for a devil like you.

In high school she came to every single tennis match you had. She cheered you on from the sidelines even though you were just ok, but in her eyes you were the greatest thing in the world. No one could compare to you. She helped you study English and you helped her study Literature. She always seemed to have difficulty reading the more advanced classical texts. You remember those study sessions, just you and her. Every now and again when she thought you were engrossed in deciphering the meaning some ancient passage in the old Japanese kanji she would give you that look; that look of unconditional love with something darker lurking just below the surface. Lust and passion. She wanted you, but you faked ignorance and innocence. Nothing was said, nothing resolved.

After he came along she started spending less time around you. She never said it was because of him, she never had to, because you knew. But she didn't know that. She took harder missions, longer missions, more dangerous missions. That was when you noticed her eyes start to dim around you. There was no hope or faith in those eyes; they had the same look as when you first met her all those years ago. You broke her again and again like the crack of a whip marring unbroken flesh.

When you were placed in the same division as her she stopped avoiding you. Maybe it was because she matured and got over you, or maybe because you rarely saw or even spoke of him. You didn't know the exact reason at the time, but you had your best friend back at last. After barely a week you realized it was the latter reason because you caught her giving you that look. She still wanted you and it was painfully obvious. How foolish you were to ignore it.

On missions she always had your back. As long as she was there you didn't need to worry about your blind spots while shooting Raising Heart. That girl would have died for you. Why the hell were you so stupid?

One day, after a particularly grueling mission she spoke with you on the rooftop of your shared apartment. You knew it was going to be one of those really heavy and unavoidable conversations when you saw the determined look on her face. Time to stop dancing around one another. You knew this would not end well, the feelings weren't mutual.

"I love you."

She looked at you, and simply told you with no sugar coating or glossy embellishments. She was always one to get right down to the point. The overwhelming emotion reflected in those dark irises was so intense it burned. It burned your very soul…you will never forget that look for as long as you live.

You said that you loved her as well, and laugh it off playing stupid again.

She frowned, her eyes growing dark. Was that despair and disappointment you saw flash across those beautiful orbs? She told you again that she was in love with you in that way.

You looked away. You didn't want to see that broken look in her eyes again as you slowly speak the words that will crush this kind girl's hope. But how could you not be true to your own feelings?

"I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way."

She leaves, and you feel empty and cold. You don't watch her walk away from you and you ignore the knot forming in your throat and the wetness on your cheeks. No matter how many times you kicked her down, she kept coming back to you, like a puppy that had grown up knowing no better. Somehow you knew this was the last time she would come back.

Then Vivio came into your life and you started to focus all your attention on the small child who would become your daughter. The incident on the roof was never spoken about, you both continued with your lives as if it had never happened. But you saw the aftermath every time you peered into her beautifully broken eyes. She was a fallen angel, and you were the cause. She stopped looking at you in that way.

After Riot Force 6 disbanded, you both went your separate ways. She still came to visit Vivio, but was more of an older sister than a mama. After all, you had him. You moved in with the supposed man of your dreams shortly after acquiring your new assignment.

There are mornings when you wake up and you have to remember you chose this. The perfect family; a father, mother and child. Sometimes you wonder why you're with him, you have to remember that you thought you loved him once before. Maybe.

You will always be just friends, nothing more nothing less. Hah. You should be lucky she wanted to keep you as her friend even, after everything you put her through. You had your chance, you had it a thousand times over, and she kept coming back to you. Patiently she waited for your, like an abandoned dog loyally waits for his master. She no longer waits.

This is your punishment, to watch her be happy from afar; to watch her be happy without you; to watch someone else make her smile that smile again-happier than you ever made her.

"Nanoha!"

You rip your gaze away from your best friend and her lover to turn your attention to him; your husband. Looking at him you can't help but think the shade of blonde is all wrong and the eyes should be red. You offer him a small smile.

"Hmn?"

"Nanoha, are you ok? You've been kind of spacey today." He looks decidedly worried.

"Oh, I'm fine." You play with the golden wedding band on your ring finger.

You watch as he looks over to the happy couple and smiles.

"Who'd of thought that Hayate and Fate would get together, ne Nanaoha?"

Closing your eyes, you compose yourself hoping that your voice does not betray the conflicting emotions deep in your soul. "Yes, they look happy together."

It took losing her completely to realize how much she meant to you. To realize how much you love her; your most precious person.

But it's too late.

A/N: Wow, I have no idea where that came from, just kinda sat down this morning and wrote it all in one go, and it actually came out fairly well. This is my first MGLN short fic, I'm actually a rabid NanoFate supporter, so I ended up surprising myself. I have something a lot longer and less angsty prepared for the near future…well maybe not less angsty but I can promise a happy ending. Anyhow, I'm curious to see how this onshot goes over with people, so let me know what you think.