Title: Two Dads, a Wedding, and an Open Bar
Author: RanMouri82
Word Count: 1489
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Aoyama Gosho owns Detective Conan. The adult swim message board's DUI thread owns the character drinks–and serves them!
Warnings: Excessive alcohol consumption! (Please drink responsibly.)
Notes: Spying a certain father of the bride slumped over a barstool and nursing an ice cold beer, Yuusaku remembered that, all things considered, it was the least he could do.

Two Dads, a Wedding, and an Open Bar

As the sun sank toward the horizon in a haze of flushed gold, all the bustle of a special day in the lives of many in Beika slowed to the mellow surrender of celebration. Encircling a marble, cherubic fountain, the outdoor reception dinner drew to a close, commencing the mingling and drinking; for all the earlier fuss, the day's wedding brought with it warm smiles, tears, and especially now, not a few rosy cheeks. For Kudou Yuusaku, strolling past the open bar for which he had insisted upon paying, the source of these rosy cheeks was obvious; spying a certain father of the bride slumped over a barstool and nursing an ice cold beer, Yuusaku remembered that, all things considered, it was the least he could do.

Sidling toward Mouri Kogorou, Yuusaku chuckled at the dull expression and red nose of the former Sleeping Detective, who stared into the amber depths of his beer. Crossing his arms, Yuusaku grinned, the blush sunlight glancing off his lowered glasses. "Holding up, I see."

"Is that—hic!—s'posed to be funny?" Kogorou muttered, snorting his discontent over the sweet melodies of the string quartet.

Yuusaku shook his head with a grin, though Kogorou merely grunted in response, refusing to so much as apologize as he wiped his saturated lips with his tuxedo sleeve. Glancing over his shoulder through the fountain's spray, Yuusaku caught sight of their newlywed children, laughing as Ran tugged Shin'ichi's elbow to greet the many guests. "They grow up fast, no?"

"Now that is funny," Kogorou said with a snicker and a gulp from his mug, "comin' from you."

Ignoring the reference to his son's recent vertically-challenged state, Yuusaku slid onto a high stool beside Kogorou and patted the drunken detective's back. With a sigh that rose from the very bile of his liver, Kogorou exhaled the thick stench of alcohol and rolled red eyes toward his unlikely companion, muttering, "You gettin' anythin'?"

"Whatever you're having," Yuusaku replied, with a slight, genial bow. It would not hurt to defer to Kogorou here, as long as he was willing; Yuusaku gave him a cheshire grin, filing away a minor detail about their different drinking styles for later.

"Alright, bartender, me an' the father of the groom are gonna have a special cocktail, so listen up," Kogorou slurred, businesslike as he downed the remainder of his beer and set the frosty mug aside. The bartender, a little confused, nonetheless stopped wiping the polished counter to listen. "Take one part rum, one part vodka, one part tequila, ½ part triple sec . . . ."

Yuusaku cocked an eyebrow. What on earth this man was mixing, even a deductive mind as sharp as his could hardly figure out; its list of liquors stretched to everything but the kitchen sink. He watched carefully as Kogorou instructed the bartender to shake the mixture and pour it over an ice-filled tumbler before adding a twist of lime. When Kogorou slid his glass across the bar, Yuusaku lifted it with an observant air and asked, "What do you call this?"

Kogorou raised his glass with a dry laugh. "What else? The Kogorou Slammer."

And so, the race was on. By the fifth Kogorou Slammer, in sloppy unison, the red-faced Kudou and Mouri patriarchs tipped back their tumblers, eyeing each other as they drank as fast as possible. Yuusaku, finishing first, slammed his glass upon the counter and flashed his companion a cocky grin.

"Aaah, not again!" Kogorou laughed, crash landing his empty tumbler on the counter a fraction of a second later. It was merely another addition to a growing collection of empty glasses that the bartender ran about in a frenzy trying to clear. "You must be cheatin', old timer."

"Not on your life," Yuusaku said, thrusting his drooping eyelids toward Kogorou with a confidential, though drunken, air. "Trust me, I know—hic!—better."

"Oh, yeah?" Kogorou mumbled, his own drowsy gaze muting surprise at the great mystery writer, Kudou Yuusaku, apparently admitting infidelity to his wife. Then he huffed, lifting a finger to call the bartender for another round. "How much does that brat take after ya, anyway?"

"Oh, nothing to worry about. I gave him fair warning about the dangers of crossing a woman, and," Yuusaku chuckled, accepting the refill, "spending a year or so as a grade schooler has done him some good."

"Hmph! Some good," Kogorou growled, scratching his five 'o clock shadow. "Now I've got that upstart detective for a son-in-law."

"Ahhh, you know the truth more than I do," Yuusaku said, lifting his tumbler. He swished the amber liquid around and inhaled its spicy fragrance, a small smile spreading across his lips. "He's a great detective—though he's still got a lot to learn," he added, jabbing a finger in the general direction of the main banquet table. Then, he set his glass down with a broader smile. "But more than that . . . ."

Kogorou groaned, pausing to gulp down the drink before finishing the sentence. "He loves her."

Yuusaku had the unfortunate gracelessness to break the moment with a loud belch, clutching his stomach and wagging his head in the process.

A ragged smile quirked the side of Kogorou's mouth as he elbowed Yuusaku and asked, "Hey, the ol' K-Slammer's too much for ya?"

Yuusaku shook his head. Gesturing to the rows upon rows of liquor bottles reflected by the bar's mirrored shelves, he crossed his arms with the quintessential smirk of a Kudou. "Just in the mood for my own special recipe—if you're game."

Seven rounds later, as the sun sank beneath the darkening horizon, two women clicked their heels on the pavement, rounding the fountain that now glittered beneath the encroaching moon, the sternness of one woman complementing the giddiness of the other.

"Where on earth could my husband have gone?" snapped Kisaki Eri, pushing up her glasses after she smoothed her tailored, violet dress with matching jacket every few seconds. "He was the one sobbing at our daughter's wedding vows; the least he could do is say goodbye."

Kudou Yukiko only giggled, swishing her pale, lavender cocktail dress about her with gusto. Leaning on Eri's arm and draping her head of upswept curls on her shoulder, Yukiko chirped, "Oh, let the kids wait a little. Yuusaku might be off somewhere with him, so I'm sure that they're fine. They're probably getting ready to come—"

Suddenly, Eri screeched to a halt, nearly making Yukiko trip over her satin pumps and tumble headfirst to the macadam.

"E-Eri! What are you—" Yukiko began to exclaim, until Eri, still staring ahead in dumbfounded shock, pressed a finger to Yukiko's lips. Now silenced, Yukiko slowly followed Eri's path of sight—and gasped.

With stupid grins plastered on their crimson faces, heedless of the hangovers they unwittingly begged for, Kogorou and Yuusaku clapped arms around each other's back and swayed from side to side. "Kono yo de anata no ai wo te ni ireru mono, odoru raito mitsumete wasurenai, ahh—nazo ga tokete yuku!"

Gaping in horror, Eri and Yukiko flushed at the sight of their husbands slobbering over the open bar, waving drinks in the air, and belting a song—offkey. But soon, the wives' blood boiled, pulsing through the veins on their foreheads as they clenched their fists with rage.

"Dear!"

Kogorou, Yuusaku, and half the milling partygoers turned and blinked at the normally sweet address spat from the mouths of the newlyweds' wrathful mothers. Yuusaku, in particular, failed to keep his cool demeanor, cringing as Yukiko grabbed his ear; Kogorou merely grimaced at Eri, whose smoldering fire of disgust burned within her bespectacled gaze.

Finishing his drink with defiance, Kogorou mumbled, "Whaddya want, woman?"

Snatching the cocktail from Yuusaku's startled grip and splashing it, ice and all, over Kogorou, Eri then set the glass upon the bar and calmly replied, "For you to bid our daughter goodbye on her honeymoon and explain exactly why you reek of liquor and can't walk straight—to Ran, Shin'ichi, and the entire Tokyo Metropolitan Police force."

"That goes for you, too!" Yukiko snapped, pulling Yuusaku to his feet and dragging him toward their children's delayed limousine, her fingers pinched around his ear like a vise. With a glance behind at Eri, who was hoisting Kogorou's limp arm around her shoulder, Yukiko huffed, "I'm surprised at you—really! I'd expect this from Kogorou, not you . . . what were you drinking, anyway?"

Yuusaku hiccuped, laughing at the way it made his mustache tickle. "I'm the one who's surprised at you, dear. Not even I can hold my liquor, and certainly not Mouri over there," he slurred, jerking a thumb toward his former drinking partner. A sickly shade of green came over Kogorou at that moment, so much so that he flung Eri's arm off and collapsed into a tall, potted bush; what he was doing there took little deduction. With a knowing grin, Yuusaku chuckled. "Not when it's a Kudou Corkscrew."

Posters to the [adult swim] Conan fan thread, "DUI: Detectives Under the Influence", had a penchant for making up character cocktails, including the Kudou Corkscrew and K-Slammer! The drink Kogorou describes is actually part of an Adam Bomb, because the other ingredients are rather girly. What the drunken fathers sing is the third Detective Conan opening song, "Nazo", that the Detective Boys sometimes sing in the show. And finally, please forgive the sentimental crack—and review!