Turning A Leaf
Spoilers: none really
Setting: Starts two months after Eddie's death
Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I never will. How sad :(
Thanks: to Jen, "I'd be lost too."
Personal Autumn Challenge Deadline: Friday, September 15, 2006
Notes: (1) Cath must at some point say the line "If you take one more step I'll have you arrested"
(2) There must be autumn leaves
(3) There must be some preexisting history of an intimate nature between Cath and Gil
(4) Lastly the following items must be used at some point in the story
Something that Eddie gave to Cath
Either of their field kits
Gil's spider (From Pledging Mr. Johnson) and finally
A drawer containing something belonging to one of them that the other one is curious about but has never seen.
Notes: Content can be emotional.
Two months after eddies death, Catherine continued to be agitated and withdrawn emotionally from those around her. Sometimes the team witnessed her leaving the locker room or the bathroom with a tear stained face. Gil has tried many things to cheer her up. Bringing her coffee at the start of shift, working with her on cases, and asking how she and Lindsey are doing, among other things. He had offered several times to take her to breakfast but she had declined every time.
Finally one day she looked down and out sitting in the locker room. Gil came in and hoped this was the day she would accept his invitation. She was sitting with her back to him and he came in and sat behind her. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realize he was there until he spoke.
"Cath" he said in a soft voice as he placed his hands gently on her shoulders. "Let me take you home."
She was in no mood to argue so she went silently with him. He opened the passenger door for her and buckled her in. He came around to the driver's side and started the car. She didn't notice that he wasn't taking her to her home; he was taking her to his. He wanted to pamper her, spoil her, he felt she deserved it. She was always the mother to the group helping everyone with their problems but who would be there for her? He would.
He helped her out of the car and into his house. He went to the bathroom and ran her a hot bath then when he was finished she settled in for a little relaxation. While she was in the bathroom he prepared some eggs and had the breakfast ready when she joined him. He wanted to bring her around to the old Catherine. When she finished her bath she joined him in the kitchen.
She appeared a little more aware and not just going through the motions. As they ate he thought about what he wanted to say to her.
"How are you feeling?" he said.
"Better, thank you." She said and she did look a little more animated.
"If you would like to lie down and take a nap feel free to take my bed."
"I think I might do that."
They walked into his bedroom and she lay down in his bed. He turned to leave but she caught his arm and stopped him.
"Stay with me for a while please?"
"Sure if that's what you want."
He lay down and she came over and lay her head on his chest. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. She moaned softly. He froze, not quite sure what was happening. She looked up at him and there was sadness in her eyes. He knew then that he would have given her the world if he could have and it would have made her happy. She leaned up and took his lips with hers. It was his turn to moan. She deepened the kiss, her need for him evident. After the shock of her kiss wore off he pulled his head back from hers.
"Is this what you want Cath? What you really want?" He pleaded with her for the truth.
She straddled his waist in answer to his question. She leaned down and kissed him taking his breath away. Her hands went to his hair, then his chest beneath his shirt. They both seemed to reel from the intimate contact. His arms took hold of her waist and she ground her hips into his. She took hold of the bottom of his shirt and stripped him of it. He removed her shirt and bra soon after. She leaned down and chest met chest. The contact was almost too much. Fire had started and things were burning hotter by the second. She needed him, and he knew it. She needed every part of him to course through her and take the hurt away. She climbed off him and took off his pants and boxers; she removed her remaining clothes and remounted him. They were both more than ready, and she came down on him with a force. He grabbed her waist and halted her as they adjusted to each other. He knew he was going to lucky to be able to walk after this.
She removed his hands and started to ride him hard. He couldn't do much but move with her and let her take them where she wanted to go so badly. If she wanted an escape he would provide one. They moved together and came to mutual climax quickly. Both saying each other's name as they reached their release. She lay down with him and they both quickly fell asleep. When he woke she was gone.
He awoke in his bed and after a second remembered what had happened between them. He looked around his room and there was no sign of Catherine. He searched his house and there was no sign that she had been there except for the dishes in the dishwasher. She was just gone.
He immediately got ready and headed out of the house. Not even realizing that his destination was already set. He drove to her house on autopilot, his mind reeling from the possible meaning of her disappearance. He pulled up and noted her car in the driveway. She must have called a taxi he thought. He parked and it took seconds for him to arrive at her door. He knocked and she answered. She didn't look pleased to see him there.
"Why did you leave?"
"It doesn't matter, you should go home Gil."
He took a step toward her holding out his hands for her. "I want to know why you left?"
"It doesn't matter Gil." Was her only answer.
He takes another step getting closer trying to touch her. She takes a step back.
"Why wont you let me comfort you, help you?"
He takes another step closer to her and her eyes widen with fear.
"If you take one more step I'll have you arrested." Then she slammed the door in his face and locked it.
His shock was evident if anyone had seen it, but he knew by the sound of her voice that she meant it. He wanted to help, but he didn't want to scare her. As much as he hated to do it he turned and headed back home.
Over the next several weeks he tried to get her alone, to talk to him, but she would not even allow herself to be alone with him. He wasn't able to talk to her or understand her feelings, but he was able to remember. To remember that one time that things had seemed like everything was going to be all right.
After time kept passing and they never discussed what happened or her feelings, things had slowly, very slowly returned to normal. They didn't talk about it and he knew that was what she wanted from him. His heart ached because of it but he did it all for her.
It was three and a half years later the autumn leaves were changing and it was getting a little cooler. The doorbell rang and he stepped away from feeding his African Red Baboon Tarantula to go and let Catherine in. He had decided to ask her over for breakfast after shift and she had accepted. She saw Lindsey off to school and then came to his house. His field kit was sitting open on his kitchen counter and she wondered what it was doing in the house. After she gave him a quizzical look he explained, "He escaped and I couldn't find my other flashlight." She dropped her purse to the floor and looked around at her feet with fear in her eyes and Gil said, "He's safe and sound now. I'm sure you were worried for his safety." Turning a smirk in her direction. She said, "Yeah that's why I was worried." And gave him her best glare. She bent down to pick up her purse and noticed that it had ripped open. Gil noticed this and said, "Sorry about your purse, I will replace it if you like." She looked up with a sort of blank look and then said "This? Don't worry about it, Eddie gave it to me back when we were together, it was never a favorite." Her comment was so dismissive that she walked straight into the kitchen and left her purse on the table.
She sat down on a stool as he prepared their breakfast. Afterwards they sat down at his table to eat. They talked about how Lindsey was doing and his new Coral Hairstreak specimen. She looked up at him during their conversation and noticed some egg in his beard. She giggled and lifted her napkin to help him clean it off. No sooner had she leaned forward than her elbow knocked his orange juice over and it spilled on his shirt. Her giggles turned to laughter and she tried to help him dry off. As he looked down at the mess he had become he also started to laugh. After they had done their best with trying to dry his shirt she said, "I'll grab another shirt for you. I can't believe that happened." Before he could tell her otherwise she had gone to his bedroom in search of another shirt. On her way to his dresser he showed up in the doorway and quickly went to his nightstand closing the drawer that was open, a letter stuck through the opening and he shoved it back in. Curious what he was hiding she turned and said, "Something you want to share with the rest of the group Gil?" He looked up at her shocked, she had no idea what he was hiding and he wasn't sure he wanted her to know. She looked at him again and said, "If you don't want me to know that's fine with me, it's your house. Probably has nothing to do with me anyway." She retrieved a shirt for him and left the room. He thought that she couldn't be more wrong.
He exited his room and found her sitting at the table in the kitchen. He could tell she was disappointed that there was something in his house he wouldn't share with her. So he brought from out of his pocket a letter. In the letter Gil had written about what happened that day. He was not ever sure she would see it or even know of its existence, but he read it often. He wanted to remember the time that they had united, that he had been able to be there for her in everyway possible. He knew her actions back then were out of hurt and not anger. He always knew.
He handed the letter to her and said, "This has everything to do with you, please read it."
Dear Catherine,
I'm not sure if you will ever read this. I just have to write down what happened. So that later when my mind plays tricks telling me that it was all a dream, so that when your smell fades from my room, from my bed that I will know that it did happen.
I couldn't believe the hurt that I saw in your eyes. So much hurt for a man that hurt you so much. I know you had to deal with all the emotions of the passing of a past husband, and the father of your wonderful daughter. I know you will always be grateful for him because he gave her to you.
I also know that I had dreamed of that day. I wanted to give you the world that day, to take all the pain from you and shoulder it myself. For that short time you needed me, all of me and I gave it to you. It was amazing and you are amazing. I now dream of a day when you would need me like that again, when you will let me into your life like that.
You are my heart when I don't share mine; you are my spirit when I'm locked away from the world. How can a person live without their heart and spirit, it is an empty life that is for sure. My work is my life and the only other reason I breathe is because of you. So I will wait for the day you let me into your heart again and hope that it will come and we will be together from that point on.
Love, Gil
She looked at him and they could see the recollection in each other's eyes. He had waited three and a half years to be with her again and what he didn't know is that she had too.
"Gil, about back then…."
Gil cut her off and said, "I didn't give you that letter to read because I wanted an explanation from you, I just wanted you to know how I feel. That day was one of the best of my life, but if you don't want anything more than that day I'll live with that." He looked down at his feet, and she rose from her chair and went to him. Putting one hand under his chin and tipping it up so that his eyes met hers, she could see everything in his eyes. "Gil, what you don't know is that I have always wanted that life with you. I was scared then that you would see me as weak and leave me, so I ran. I thought the memory of that day was all that I could ever have because I hurt you so badly."
He could see in her eyes that she meant it and took her lips with his. The kiss was long and passionate and filled with everything they had wanted for over three years. He pulled back again and said, "I love you Cath."
"I love you too Gil, and even though I didn't say it then, thank you for that day. It was the beginning of the end of that period for me and I'm glad that it is not a part of my life anymore. Although I would love to build on what we started that day."
He smiled and took her lips again and no more coherent sentences left their mouths. He moved from her lips to her neck and she moaned her encouragement to him. He kissed from her ear lobe to her collarbone and then left his mark there. She brought her hands to rest on his shoulders and then she started to unbutton his shirt. His hands moved to her waist where he went under her shirt and felt her soft skin. She came to her senses for a moment and said, "Bedroom." He nodded and they moved together toward his room.
When they got there she finished unbuttoning his shirt and slowly slid it down his arms. He released the buttons of her shirt as well and slid it down her arms, then reached around and unhooked her bra nibbling as he went. They went and lay on the bed and he pushed her back against the pillows. Leaning over her he took his hand and ran it down the side of her form from her head to her hips. He leaned in to kiss her again and it was incredible, her mouth slipped open and his tongue entered. His hand went to her breasts to stroke them and he smiled when he heard her moan. Her hands entered his curly hair and she loved the way he made her feel.
He reached between them and unbuttoned and unzipped her pants. He moved back to pull them and her panties slowly down her form and onto the floor. She pushed him onto his back and rid him of his pants and boxers, slowly pulling them off his legs and to join hers on the floor. She took both of her hands and placed them on his chest rubbing, feeling and kissing every area of skin she saw. She hovered over him and he reached to her center to feel her very wet and ready for him. He rubbed his fingers around her clit and she closed her eyes and let out a long low groan. When he pulled his hand away she opened her eyes and locked them with his. She then came down slowly on him and they moaned together. They began to move together, him guiding her and her moving with him. She sat back and it felt so good. His eyes slipped shut and he said, "Cath that feels……" She said, "so good." Their speed increased as they came toward climax, and when it hit her she clenched her muscles on him and they came together, both shaking as their breathing returned to normal.
As they lay down and their minds began to slow.
She said, "Gil I always wanted you, I never thought I would be given the chance to be with you again."
"Well I'm here now and I'm staying, I won't go anywhere ever again."
And they fell asleep in each other's arms.