Konoha no Sato, the most peaceful of the hidden villages, however, it is also the home of many eccentric ninjas. To truly survive and thrive in Konoha you simply have to follow these 'Unspoken Rules of Konoha'.

(Note: this is not in order of importance).

1. Do not piss off the Sannin (or the students).

2. Never enter a conversation about youth with Matio Gai.

3. Never in any way harm Ichiraku's ramen stand.

4. Never attempt to escape from the hospital. (This is considered a sub rule of rule one.)

5. Don't call an Akimachi fat.

6. Don't piss of a Nara, the last time it happened two immortals died.

7. Keep any and all alcohol away from Rock Lee.

8. Rasengan can be used for anything.

9. Never leave a child alone with Orochimaru…actually in general don't leave anyone alone with Orochimaru.

10. Don't marry into the Hyugga clan.

11. Don't kick ANY dogs in Konoha, it might be a nin-dog.

12. Not all paper is used for writing.

13. Do not go to the hot spring while Jiraya is in town.

14. Sharingan can do anything.

15. Do not stare at, hit on, or otherwise ogle Senju Tsunade, attempting a grope is pure suicide.

16. Determination overcomes everything.

17. Split second life changing decisions are perfectly acceptable.

18. Uchihas are in general emo.

19. Never under any circumstance touch Kakashi's books.

20. If a Aburame shows an emotional outburst, RUN.

21. Being a child prodigy is not necessarily a good thing.

22. Konoha's missing nin are stronger than everyone else.

23. You cannot be a good ninja and sane, you have to chose one or the other.

24. Trying to stick someone else with the restaurant bill is expected, and to some a sport.

25. For ninja it is not just acceptable to cheat on a test, but is expected.

26. Talking animals is not weird.

27. The only people to have seen Kakashi were his mother and father.

28. Eyes are most easily transplanted part of the body.

29. Ultimate defenses are made to be broken.

30. Just before you die a flash back is necessary.

That's it for now, special thanks to CASM, and Skilly. Thanks for the help with the list.