Pain. So much pain in those eyes. I've only ever wanted him to smile. Laugh. Fall for someone worthy. But now I'm the one causing him pain.
Pain Flows from those eyes. Not through tears—he has too much pain for it to be diluted in water.
I've seen worry in those eyes, too, but he always had a veil of pain over every look he gave.
Worry, when he has an odd dream. Fear, even. Then, relief. Relief came just before a near kiss, but then he merely rested his head on my shoulder… It was just a small moment, but I saw it. A moment where his eyes had no pain—just relief. But pain came back. All too soon, it came back.
I'm not sure if I've ever seen him smile.
I see his loneliness, too.
All I want is to be there for him. Make him let go of the emotions that I know have been tearing him apart for so long.
But, now I'm causing him more pain by me no longer being human. It hurts him. I didn't know that I was what I am. Part of me wishes to be human again if it were to make him smile just one small smile, if only for a moment.
Along with his heart breaking, I feel a large part of mine starting to shatter. It could be shattering into a million pieces, but that can no longer kill me—not being what I am now.
Though seeing the pain in his eyes—pain caused by me—I have nearly come to wish I could die. I wish I could die from this pain, and maybe allow him some relief as well. Relief from pain. Everlasting pain.
I can't die, though. Not yet. I have become his enemy to force him to continue to live. I will continue with this pain as long as I can. Just knowing he is alive, that can ease my burden, if only a little.