Warnings: Mentions of Phedophilla. Slash. Angst. Bottom!Morgan. Mentions of Criminal Minds Episode: Profiler, Profiled (spoilers)
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, it's related characters, themes, or situations. Further more I do not make any money from this fic or any of the others.
Healing
Morgan has always been the physical rock of the team. He's always been the one who takes things into his hands, and deals with them. He's always been strong, always been passionate about the job, about the work the team does, almost to a fault, but then again, so does the rest of the team in their own ways.
But now, it's different. He's stressed, tensed, acting like a caged animal, and in a way, he was a caged animal. Not only is he fighting off the C.P.D. he's fighting off the memories that are being pulled to the front of his mind, ones he's fought to hold back for so long, and he's fighting the team, trying to hide what has happened to him from them.
It's almost to painful for Hotch to see. When Morgan hits the box off the table in the interrogation room, Hotch fights with himself, he knows what Morgan's hiding now, all from the look of desperation, shame, fear in Morgan's eyes, and the extremely aggressive reaction he has at the mention of the name Carl Buford. All classic signs of someone hiding from the fact that they'd been raped or molested. Hotch knows when Morgan was with Buford, still a child, sixteen at the oldest. Phedophilla, something Morgan has always taken horribly, Hotch now knows why.
Hotch takes a deep breath, and leaves the small bare room, hoping Morgan catches the action of him not closing the door all the way. He knows what Morgan will do, and believes it's necessary for Morgan to confront his past, it'll make him stronger in the end.
Hotch told the rest of the team to go to the hotel, that he'd pick up Morgan from the Youth Center, that Morgan will not want to face everyone right now. When Morgan comes out, and sees Hotch, his body tenses, but the look on his face is anything but the strong confident man that Hotch sees everyday. Hotch walks over to him, hands in the pocket of his coat. At first he doesn't speak, and Morgan doesn't look at him.
"I know this is difficult, and I'm sorry for pushing you Derek, but I needed to." Hotch starts. "You know, I respect you, and digging into your life, invading your privacy, which I know you hate, was not something I did lightly, not something I wanted to do. You have to understand that, if I had any other way to have worked this case, to figure out who was killing these boys, I would've taken it." Hotch looks at Morgan's face, trying not to analyze the emotions he sees; fear, anger, shame, pain, but there's this bit of calm, peace even. He knows it's over, and for that Hotch is thankful.
"There's nothing that can ever fix what happened." Morgan says. His jaw is clenched, and he's fighting the urge to ball his hands into fists.
"I know." Hotch said and put a hand on Morgan's shoulder. "Let me take you back to your mother's. You should get some sleep."
"I can't go back tonight." Morgan said.
"The hotel then? I somehow got two beds in my room." Hotch says dropping his hand. Morgan nods and walks over to the SUV and gets in. Hotch gets in, and the drive is silent.
When they get into the hotel room, and the door clicks closed, Morgan pushes Hotch up against the door, and presses their lips together harshly. Hotch puts his hands on the back of Morgan's neck and kisses him back, pressing his fingers into Morgan's dark skin and slows the younger man's needy desperate movements. Hotch pulls his lips away from Morgan's and shushes him gently, before leaning back in and kissing Morgan softly.
"Derek, I know you're hurting, but you don't have to do this. I'm not him, you don't have to do anything to prove to me what you're worth. You know that." Hotch says, looking Morgan directly in the eye.
Morgan's eyes close and his face twists in pain. "Please Hotch... I just need-... I need something man." He says, his voice is quite, and Hotch can feel him trembling. "I just... I can feel him all over me." Morgan's head hangs, he's fighting back tears.
Hotch pulls him close. "Take a shower. You've been in holding for almost two days. You need to relax." Hotch says. When Morgan doesn't react, Hotch squeezes his neck lightly, and leans down, and presses his lips against Morgan's cheek. "When you're done, I'll help you. I promise."
Morgan swallows and starts to peel off his clothes, and heads into the bathroom. Hotch sighs when the bathroom door closes. He pulls of his coat, then his suit jacket. His tie follows. He pulls off his belt, and undoes the button of his slacks, he unbuttons his shirt also, but doesn't take it off. Morgan is frightened right now, if he was to be completely nude, he'd ruin anything that would've happened otherwise, the healing Morgan needs.
Hotch takes a deep breath, and digs through his go bag, and pulls out a bottle of lotion and tosses it against the pillows, then turns on the t.v. even though he doesn't actually watch it, just so that there's some noise in the room.
When Morgan comes out, he's got a towel around his waist, Hotch can see the tension in Morgan's defined muscles, the caution in each breath, every movement.
Hotch stands slowly, and walks over to Morgan, and cups his face. Morgan looks at him. "Are you sure?" Hotch asks, Morgan nods slowly, but there's no hesitation. Hotch nods back, then leans down and presses his lips against Morgan's.
The normally dominate personality is gone, and Morgan allows Hotch to move him, to lead him. It's part of what Morgan needs; the knowledge that he can trust in someone to hold power over him, and that when it happens, he won't end up hurt. Hotch understands this, but is still cautious. One wrong move, one wrong command, or touch and the spell is broken, and Morgan will become defensive, violently aggressive in his attempts to shield the mental wound that is now open.
Hotch leads Morgan to one of the beds, trailing kisses over Morgan's strong jaw line, and down his neck. When Morgan's knees hit the bed, Hotch stops moving, and nuzzles comfortingly against Morgan's ear. "When you're ready, lay down." Hotch says, he trails his hands down Morgan's still wet sides, pulling the towel away from Morgan's waist, having already felt Morgan's cock pressing hard into his hip. Morgan tenses slightly, and Hotch lessens the contact, pulling his body away, but his hands stay on Morgan's sides, his lips still trailing over Morgan's jaw.
Morgan swallows and moves away, and gets on the bed. He doesn't lay his head on the pillows, but Hotch doesn't say anything. Morgan's watching him, so Hotch pulls his shirt off and lets it fall to the floor, then his slacks follow, his boxers follow a while after. Morgan inspects Hotch's body for a few minutes, and Hotch is surprised at the slight cocky smirk that forms on Morgan's face, showing the normal Derek Morgan he's so used to seeing.
"Who knew, you've got a good body under your suit Hotch." Morgan said, and Hotch smirked back.
Hotch knelt on the bed, and the smirk left Morgan's face. Hotch ignored it, and ran his hands up Morgan's legs to his hips, and his body followed up Morgan's body, until he's hovering over Morgan. Hotch leaned down and pressed his lips against Morgan's again, slowly coaxing them into movement, and the kiss built and built; their tongues mesh against each other and soon they're both groaning, struggling for air. Morgan reached up and puts his hands on the side of Hotch's face, pulling the older in deeper.
Hotch lowered his body, his chest against Morgan's, his lower half falling between Morgan's legs, again Morgan stiffened, but Hotch whispered comforting words, and kissed down Morgan's chest laving the dark skin with kisses, licks, sucks, and gentle bites. Slowly the tension left Morgan's body, and he gave in to the pleasure. He's not very vocal, the sounds he does make are deep in his throat, low in pitch, and vibrate in his chest.
Hotch grabbed the small bottle of lotion he threw against the pillows earlier and puts some on his fingers, then shifted himself onto his knees. His first finger slides in and Morgan doesn't even flinch. The second made him bit his lower lip in discomfort, and Hotch watched him carefully as he works his fingers in and out. The third finger, and Morgan's breath hitched at the pain, and Hotch stilled his fingers, and pressed his lips against the creases of Morgan's forehead until they vanish, and he starts to move his fingers again.
When he brushed Morgan's prostate, Morgan bucked slightly, and groaned. Hotch moaned when Morgan rolled his hips back on his fingers. It's an arousing sight like no other. This strong beautiful man, in a lust induced haze underneath him completely his for the taking. Hotch pulled his fingers away, and coated his straining cock in lotion, and fell between Morgan's legs.
He didn't start to push in, just stayed with his cock against Morgan, gauging the reaction of the other. When he is certain he saw no fear or hesitation, he started to push in. Morgan pushed his head back against the mattress and gritted his teeth. Hotch gripped Morgan's hips as he fought against himself, he wanted to pull away yet at the same time Morgan wanted to prove to himself that he can be intimate with someone, and tried to force Hotch deeper into him.
Hotch sucked on Morgan's chest, one hand leaving his hips to run up the side of Morgan's neck to hold reassuringly. Hotch pushed in more and leaned back on his knees to see himself sinking into Morgan, the way the dark skin is stretched around his cock, sucking him in.
Once he's fully inside, he leaned back down, resting his hands on the bed on either side of Morgan's head and kissed him. Languidly getting Morgan's mind off the pain of the stretch of being so full. When Morgan gripped Hotch's thighs, and rolled his hips into Hotch, the older man almost lost it. He moansed deeply and pulled himself almost completely out, then thrust back in.
They don't break the kiss, but it's become so desperate. Their tongues mimicking the frantic movements their bodies will be preforming in just a few moments.
Hotch picked up speed and strength in his thrust, and Morgan met him with each one just as hard and fast. Morgan's fingers gripped Hotch's tensed shoulders, every few seconds one of his hands runs down the sweat slicked working muscles of Hotch's strong back.
They both fight off their climaxes as long as possible, but their shaking muscles, and labored breathing give away how close they are to loosing all control and falling over the edge into orgasm. Hotch reaches between their bodies, and wraps his hand around Morgan's cock with some trouble, and starts rubbing it in time with his own thrusts into Morgan's body as he can, until feels the wet sticky hotness of semen on his hand. Morgan lets out a deep cry of completion trying to thrust up into Hotch's hand while pushing back on his cock to milk out the pleasure as long as possible.
The convulsion of Morgan's body around his cock is enough to send Hotch over the edge, he pulled out and thrusts into his own hand that is slick with Morgan's cum and his orgasm tears through him, with a low moan escaping his lips he says Morgan's given name while his semen splashed onto Morgan's strong defined abs, the contrast of colors is vivid and a beautiful picture. Hotch lowered his head to rest it against Morgan's shoulder, trying to catch his breath.
Morgan wrapped his arms around Hotch's shoulders, but he doesn't hold tight, it's just to feel that Hotch is there, that it is Hotch. Hotch mumbled comforts into Morgan's ear, and slowly pressed his body down against Morgan's, feeling the sticky mess of their mixing semen on Morgan's stomach that's already starting to dry and cool. Hotch wrapped his arms loosely around Morgan's shoulders as well, and closed his eyes. He knew Morgan won't speak for the rest of the night, and most likely when he woke in the morning, Morgan would already be gone.
Hotch is close to sleep now, and from the fact that Morgan's hands are slipping off his shoulders, he knew so is Morgan. He almost missed Morgan's whispered words of thanks. Hotch murmurs "You're welcome." and shifted off of Morgan, but stayed close enough so they are still touching, and fell asleep.
End
Tell me what you think. This is probably the only time I could ever see Morgan being topped. I hope it was good, and that you enjoyed it. Please leave reviews and tell me what you think. This was actually embarrassing for me to write.
This was a request by: Sassyboots4 Hope you liked it, and it was what you were looking for!