"Donna!"
Donna straightened out her skirt before walking into Harvey Spector's glass encased office.
Harvey was staring down at the case file in his hand until she was standing in front of him. Harvey looked up with an apologetic look on his face.
"I know the secretarial talent show is next week, and I know it's our thing to go and watch you dominate the competition," Harvey smirked at her.
Donna smiled slightly, "I feel a but coming on."
Harvey's face dropped, "Scottie has an event she wants me to attend with her, some Harvard alumni networking black tie and I agreed before I knew what day it was. Donna, I'm sorry I won't be able to attend this year."
Donna felt her heart drop, but ever since Harvey and Scottie had started going out she had become used to these feelings as it seemed once a day there would be something that they would normally do together that he would rather do with Scottie. Donna was just waiting for the day that he decided he would rather do the can opener traditional without her.
Donna tried to recover quickly, "Really Harvey, you don't need to come. I'm awesome I don't need you to hold my hand." Donna put on her best fake smile and hoped he wouldn't notice.
But Harvey being Harvey of course he noticed. He noticed when the light from her smile didn't reach her eyes. "So I was thinking, why don't you run through your scene now before the auditions tonight?"
The Secretarial Talent show was an opportunity to kill a few birds with one stone. The secretaries were able to show off their talents and claim bragging rights for the year and Pearson Spector was able to offset the cost by selling tables to clients with the proceeds going to charity. It had become one of the highlights of the year because of the performances put on by the administration staff, and because of that Jessica wasn't letting just anybody perform, all acts had to be vetoed and if they weren't good enough, were axed.
As reigning champion Donna didn't need to audition, but at that moment Donna felt like what she had prepared wasn't what she wanted to do anymore. With Harvey not coming this year perhaps she would perform something different, if their relationship was going to change then she could too she thought.
"You know I don't have to audition Harvey, champions don't need to prove themselves," she said with a sad smile.
"For me?" Harvey asked with a hopeful look on his face.
"I…," just as Donna was about to respond, when Jessica walked into Harvey's office. Thank god Donna thought as she walked out of Harvey's office letting them discuss the case he was currently working on.
Donna sat down at her desk to delete the talent show from Harvey's calendar before entering the Harvard event. She stopped once completed to think of what she could perform now that she knew Harvey wouldn't be there. An idea popped in her head, Harvey had never seen her sing and she knew she was a good singer. An old theatre teacher had once called her a theatre trifecta, an actress, singer and a dancer. Harvey only knew about one of these talents. Donna instantly knew the song she was going to sing, it was a song from one of her all-time favourite movies and seeing as she had prepared it for an old theatre group a few years back she didn't think she would need to prepare for too long.
Donna glanced up and saw Harvey and Jessica leaving his office finishing up their conversation regarding a deposition scheduled for later on that day.
"Jessica?"
Jessica turned to Donna with a smile on her face, "Donna, how is our reigning talent show champion?"
Donna gave a small smile before glancing quickly at Harvey, "I'm fine, I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I have decided to change the piece I entered, and I was hoping you could give me the OK at auditions tonight?"
Jessica frowned slightly, "It's a little short notice but I will let the printers know about the change in your piece for the programmes. But Donna you don't need to audition, you know that. Whatever you want to do is OK with me. Email the changes now to my assistant." Jessica gave a nod and walked back in the direction of her office.
"You changed your performance piece?" Harvey asked quizzically.
Donna sat down quickly and opened up an email to send to Jessica's assistant, "Yeah I just decided to try something different."
"At such short notice? Last year I had to listen to your Lady Macbeth monologue for 2 months, what's going on?"
Donna turned away from her computer to look at Harvey, "I decided to change an old tradition; seems to be a lot of it going around today." Donna looked him in the eye before turning back to her computer.
"So you are upset?" Harvey asked moving around the front of her desk so he could force Donna to look at him.
"Why would I be upset Harvey? You and your girlfriend are going to a Harvard event; I've changed it in your diary. Is there anything else I can do for you Mr Specter?" Donna looked up at him.
"Mr Specter? Since when have I been anything other than Harvey?" Harvey asked with a frown.
"Since you decided to be nothing but my boss," Donna replied not looking up from her email.
Harvey was left speechless, he realised that being with Scottie meant that they hadn't spoken or hung out lately, but hadn't realised she felt so much like his secretary and so little like his friend.
"Donna, I…" Harvey couldn't finish his sentence as just at that moment Mike walked up with a load of case files.
"Harvey, yet again you should bow down to my awesomeness, I have completed all these case notes and prepped Angela Hemble for the deposition this afternoon. Up top!" Mike lifted his hand hoping to get a high 5. Harvey looked at him like he was crazy; Donna barely acknowledged either one of them and continued to type.
"Mike, get in my office," Harvey growled before turning back to Donna.
"Donna, I…" Just as he was about to continue her phone started ringing. Donna held her index finger out in a motion to silence him. "Hello? Hi Norma," Donna spun her chair around, away from Harvey as she began gossiping with her friend located less than 50 metres from where she was now.
Harvey was fuming. He stormed back into his office and took his anger out on Mike by picking holes in all the case notes he had produced.
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Donna turned her computer off before turning and picking up her handbag. It had been a very tiresome day with Harvey trying to speak to her and her trying to avoid him. Her only reprieve had been when he had been at the deposition.
She started walking to the elevators when she spotted Rachel slowly walking to elevators herself distracted as she looked through bag.
"Hi," Donna smiled easily as she walked up to her.
"Hey, how are you? Heard Harvey was in a great mood today," Rachel smiled as she looked up at her friend.
"Yeah we had a fight," Donna responded her smile falling slightly.
"You put him in that mood, well this is a story I have to hear. Drinks?" Rachel suggested
"Actually, I have a better idea. You can play the piano right?"
"Yeah but I don't have one, all I have is a key board," Rachel answered
"That will have to do; do you think we could go to yours and practise my talent show piece?" Donna asked hopefully. "I promise we can stop on the way and buy drinks, please" Donna pleaded.
"Oh so the rumours are true, you changed your piece last minute. Elaborate tactic to throw off the competition?" Rachel asked as they stepped into the elevator which had just opened its doors.
"I will explain everything when we get to yours," Donna answered. "Will Mike be home?"
"The amount of work Harvey just gave Mike, I don't expect him home until next week," Rachel joked.
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Mike looked at his watched as he walked done the hall to his apartment that he shared with Rachel. Midnight, not a very late night but he hadn't finished all his work. Bringing it home had seemed like the best option after almost falling asleep at his desk. He also just missed Rachel, he missed falling asleep with her, he missed watching TV with her, and he missed his best friend. As Mike approached he heard singing coming from his apartment, good singing. Definitely singing that didn't belong to Rachel. As beautiful and as smart as she was Rachel could not sing, various renditions of songs in the shower had proven this to him time and time again.
Mike opened the door to his apartment to watch Donna singing with Rachel playing the keyboard. Mike was blown away, the power and beauty coming from Donna was overwhelming. The song ended and Mike began to clap. Both women turned to look at him not realising he had come home.
"Donna, wow. I mean….wow," Donna blushed she knew how good she was but it was always good to hear it.
"Thanks Mike."
"No really, that was amazing. If that's your entry for the talent competition next week then it is in the bag," Mike grinned.
"Thanks," Donna smiled looking down at her feet, she all of a sudden she felt very sad. She was doing this to prove she was different, that she could do this to move away from Harvey and Scottie, but it had made her think of them even more.
"You should definitely show this to Harvey, he could take a bet with Louis or something," Mike joked.
Rachel and Donna's heads snapped up and they looked at each other, "Uh Mike, sweetie. We need you to keep what you saw here a secret," Rachel said walking over to him.
"What? Why? Donna you don't need to worry, there's no way anyone's going to beat you going against that," Mike exclaimed pointing at the keyboard.
"No Mike," Donna responded. "I don't want you to tell Harvey because we are currently not speaking." Rachel glanced between them before heading to the kitchen.
"I don't understand, aren't you and Harvey like this," Mike asked as he clasped his hands together.
"Since Scottie we are more like this," Donna responded as she pulled his hands apart.
"Oh," Mike responded slowly.
"I would just really appreciate you not telling Harvey what you saw here tonight. He isn't even coming to the talent show so I really don't think he's interested anyway." Donna mumbled sadly.
"Enough about pathetic Harvey Specter," Rachel exclaimed as she walked out of the kitchen with an expensive bottle of scotch and three tumbler glasses. "It's time to drink our problems away." Mike and Donna shared a smile before accepting the empty scotch glasses.
They filled their glasses and raised a toast, "To moving on," Mike said seriously. The girls looked at each other before joining in.
"To moving on."
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Mike was hung over; there was no way around it. Donna and Rachel could drink apparently. A lot. His head was pounding from the scotch followed by the wine then shots of god knows what that they had found in their kitchen.
Mike was walking slowly to his desk, when Harvey appeared at his side.
"Is there a particularly good reason why you are half an hour late for work and look like that," Harvey asked.
"Yeah, sorry. We were drinking and one drink led to another," Harvey stopped him.
"Please I don't need to hear about your and Rachel's nights in."
"Ha, I wish. Where did they learn to drink like that, is what I want to know." Mike asked setting his bag down next to his desk. "I mean Donna; I kind of expected it, but Rachel? Didn't see that one coming."
"Wait," Harvey said putting his hand on Mike's chest to stop him from going anywhere. "Donna was at yours last night?"
"Yeah they were rehearsing Donna's talent entry," Mike said looking down, not feeling very well.
"What piece?" Harvey pried.
Mike looked up realising his mistake. "I can't tell you."
"What?" Harvey asked looking angry
"I can't tell you." Mike said looking determined. "Look I'm in enough trouble for telling you this much, and I know as much as I beg you not to bring this up with her, I know you will so I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I will tell you one thing though; you're losing something great with her."
"Losing?" Harvey asked looking alarmed.
"Losing." Mike confirmed as he sat at his desk.
Harvey stormed out of the bullpen and back toward his office. Good, Mike though let him be Donna's problem today as he slumped over lying his head down on the desk.
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Donna was hung over. Why had she drunk so much? Besides that your relationship with Harvey is slowly disintegrating in front of your eyes? A voice in the back of her head asked.
"Donna!" Harvey demanded as he stormed into his office and stood in front of his row of basketballs.
"Oh good," Donna whispered
Donna walked into Harvey's office with her head held high; she could sense a fight brewing so she closed the door to his office.
"What's happening to us Donna?" Harvey questioned not turning around.
Donna stood by the couches in his office, "I don't know," she answered.
"You once said no one was leaving me. I now find out that might not be the truth," Harvey spun around to look her in the eye.
"Harvey, I'm not leaving you. You're leaving me," Donna whispered the second part, but Harvey heard.
"Donna, I will never leave you. Not again. 2 weeks without you was all I could handle. I was a mess."
Donna nodded; once again Harvey had confirmed his thought of her as a secretary and not as anything else. She didn't know why it bothered her much. She had put the wall up, she had said no, she had told him she wasn't in love with him. But the feeling she was feeling right now was telling her different.
"I'm not….I….I'm not going anywhere Harvey. For as long as you need me, so that you can be you, I will be here." Donna could feel the tears threatening to overflow. She would not cry in front of him, she turned to leave but Harvey stopped her.
"Donna, this thing with Scottie. You come first."
Donna spun around; Harvey was giving her a look. A look she hadn't seen since that night. It wasn't lust, but trust and something else.
"What?" Donna asked flushed.
"Scottie and I, this relationship. If you want to say something I will end it." Donna felt like she couldn't breathe. Was he saying that if she didn't like her he would dump her or was he saying the other thing? That he liked her and if she said it back he would dump her so they could be together. Donna didn't feel like she could do this, not now. All she could do was nod before she rushed out of his office.
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The week had been along one, Donna had felt unable to look let alone speak to Harvey after the conversation they had had regarding Scottie. Tonight was the talent show and she was nervous, more nervous than she had ever been before. It could be the fact that Donna had finally come to decision. She was going to speak to Harvey, she was going to tell him everything and then quite possibly quit, she hadn't really thought that far ahead. She didn't even know when she was going to tell him but she had decided it would have to be sooner rather than later.
Donna draped her designer Vera Wang dress still in its garment bag over her arm and left for work. She arrived before Harvey as normal but barely noticed as she hung her dress up in one of the cupboards not too far from her desk. Any other day she would have hung it in Harvey's cupboard in his office but she felt that after what had happened that she wouldn't feel comfortable doing it this time. Donna turned on her computer and started arranging the files that Harvey would need for that day, she was looking through his calendar when she saw the Harvard black tie event in his diary. After gathering some strength she walked into his office to check his cupboard for his tux that he would need for tonight. Harvey always had a tux that he kept for events that he would need to attend straight after work when he wouldn't have time to go home to change. Donna started at the suit, it felt like a symbol. A symbol of Scottie's hold on him and symbol of her losing him. She had waited too long and lied to him about her feelings, of course he had found someone else. Anger surged through her, after all that she had given up for him she never expected him to give up on her. It was selfish but she always imagined that Harvey would continue to love her from afar like she had done for years. Donna slammed the cupboard door in an attempt to rid herself of her anger.
"You break it, you buy it" Harvey remarked leaning against the door to his office.
Donna's head snapped toward him, in her stare off with the tux she had missed Harvey arriving.
"Just testing to see if it's worth the amount you paid for it," Donna mumbled as she walked back toward her desk.
"Well when you are done quality control checking my office furniture, maybe you could bring out the Smithsen folder," Harvey remarked as he walked over to his desk.
Donna grimaced, he was still annoyed with her, he had expected an answer or at least an acknowledgment of what they had spoken about and she had run. Again. Donna sighed as she walked back into his office with the file he needed. She dropped it down on his desk left as quick as she could. No point in poking the beast she thought.
The day progressed as usual, calls, typing, gossiping, and filing. Around 17:30 Donna stood up to get ready for the talent show, the event began at 19:30 but Donna needed the time to warm her voice up and rehearse once with the band before the show which meant she had to get there early. She had convinced Rachael to play the piano for her after the drinks at her apartment the week before and the rest of the band where just the in-house band Jessica had provided.
As Donna walked toward the cupboard she didn't see Scottie heading toward Harvey's office, maybe telling him wouldn't be that hard she thought as she opened the cupboard door. Maybe it would be hardest thing she would ever do.
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"Hi," Scottie grinned as she entered Harvey's office.
"Hm," Harvey responded not looking up.
"Still in that great mood I see," Scottie said taking a seat on one of the couches in his office.
"Hm," Harvey responded still not looking up.
Scottie sighed; Harvey had been in one of the worse moods for about a week and no matter what she said or did seemed to help. In some cases it seemed to make it worse. Scottie was didn't know what to do anymore.
"Is Donna around?" Scottie asked looking at her vacant desk.
Harvey's head lifted up at the mention of Donna's name, he glanced over at her desk. Seeing it was empty he dropped his head back to his work.
"She getting ready for tonight," Harvey mumbled.
"Oh right the talent show thing; I heard some of the secretaries talking about. Sounds a little childish," Scottie said leaning back on the couch.
Harvey frowned and looked up at her; she was wearing a black pencil skirt with a low cut red top she oozed confidence and in a different life might have been the perfect partner for Harvey, but at that moment she looked like another nameless woman he used to spend time with. Harvey sighed and leaned back in his chair.
"How do you figure?" he asked.
"We aren't in high school anymore Harvey, putting on talent shows, dressing up and doing pathetic monologues is no way for professionals to act. Next thing we will be holding a charity car wash," Scottie smirked.
"It's for charity Scottie, the secretaries like it and we look like the good guys. I don't understand what the big deal is," Harvey said
"We look amateurish," Scottie frowned.
"No we look compassionate, something it wouldn't hurt to be," Harvey replied looking back down at the paperwork on his desk.
"Look is there a problem?" Scottie asked suddenly standing.
"What do you mean?" Harvey responded frowning still not looking up at her.
"What I mean is, you have been in this weird mood for a week now, and I want to know how long I can expect this to go on for?"
"Look Scottie, I'm not in the mood right now, I'm going to this alumni thing with you tonight aren't I?"
"I don't even know why you bother. Do you even want to go tonight?" Harvey didn't respond he was staring out of the window in the direction of Donna's desk. Donna was walking through the office to her desk to drop off a few items before she left; she had a garment bag draped over her arm and had sheets of paper in her hand. Harvey could only assume it was her performance for that night. Scottie followed eyes to Donna.
"Or would you rather be somewhere else?" Scottie asked standing up and walking over to Harvey's desk.
Donna looked up and made eye contact with Harvey. Harvey didn't know where his voice had got to, but he found himself for the first time in a long time speechless. Donna broke the eye contact to glance quickly at Scottie, seeing her glaring in her direction Donna looked down at her desk; she was interrupting their private moment she thought. She gathered her stuff before quickly rushing out of the office.
"Harvey? Harvey?" Scottie asked looking at him staring after Donna's retreating form.
Harvey looked up her, having the decency to look a little guilty. "Scottie, I gave you my word that I would attend this thing with you and I will."
"But do you want to?" Scottie probed further. "Do you want any of this Harvey?"
"Scottie, I don't know what you want from me…" Harvey began
"I want you, all I want is you." Scottie sighed. "But I can't have you because you already belong to someone else."
"Scottie…,"
"No Harvey, if you won't say it I will. You are in love with Donna Paulsen." Harvey swallowed slowly, he would have denied it had the thought not crossed his mind before.
"And I can't be in love with a man that can't love me back. I just can't keep doing it," Scottie said tearing slightly. Harvey felt horrible but he couldn't argue the points she was making. "I think we should just make a clean break, you don't have to come tonight. I think you need to be somewhere else anyway," Scottie said with a sad smile before she left Harvey's office.
Harvey stood up and walked over to his vinyl collection, he paused before picking up one of his records and playing it. Smooth jazz filed the room as he walked over and sat down on his couch, deep in thought.