Man on the Side
by angellwings
He sighed irritably as he watched the clock. She was supposed to call him three hours ago, and he had spent those three hours calling her cell phone. Which coincidentally was busy all night.
It had been this way ever since he could remember, but he could never bring himself to put an end to it or at the very least tell her how he felt. He spend the majority of his teenagers years being there for her.
He started to dial her number again but paused.
Six numbers and one more to dial
Before I'm before you
I tried to call
Been busy all night
Gave up waiting at daylight
The first time had been innocent enough. They made plans to get together after school and study. She was supposed to call him whenever she was on her way to his house, and she never did. She forgot that she had planned dinner with her parents that night.
From then on it had become a frequent occurrence. She took it for granted that he would forgive her, and move on. She'd schedule cheerleading practice, ranger training with a certain red ranger, or even post-football game parties over their meetings.
There had been a time in high school before the destruction of the Command Chamber, and their meeting with Andros, when that had stopped. When she had showed up to their evenings in or evenings out, and hardly ever rescheduled.
Excuse Mrs. Busybody
Could you pencil me in when you can
Though we both know
That the worst part about it is
I would be free when you wanted me
If you wanted me
As a matter of fact there had been a time when the two of them had almost been a couple. They had talked about an official date. He had even kissed her on more than a few occasions. He had been so happy during that one year. He thought things were finally starting to go his way. That she had seen the feelings he always held for her. It had been too good to be true, and a part of him knew it would never last between them. He wanted it to so badly, despite all of that. And then they came across Andros . . .
I am the man on the side
Hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
Life as the man on the side
After their first glimpse of his unmorphed state, he knew. The look on her face gave her away. He was new, mysterious, and she was intrigued. Whatever they could have had was gone the minute she said, "You're a human?". The infliction in her voice as she had said that would forever be burned in his brain. That was the moment he had lost her. He went from a romantic possibility to best friend and confidant in the mere span of seconds it took her to speak that sentence.
If there was a problem or she was merely confused she would knock on his door late at night and he, being as in love with her as he was, would welcome her in with a hug. She would talk about the distance Andros seemed to put between them, and he would listen despite the painful tug in his heart. He never knew how he stood it.
One of the many
One of the few
To stand back and wait for you
Excuse Mrs. Busybody
Could you pencil me in when you can
Though we both know
That the worst part about it is
I would be free when you wanted me
If you wanted me
He never stopped loving her. He couldn't bring himself to. A part of him still hoped that there would eventually be a future there. Recently she had shown interest again. They had gone out to dinner a few times. He thought things were going well for them. Andros had gone back to KO-35 almost half a year ago, and had reluctantly broken up with Ashley. She had been heartbroken, and immediately came to him for a shoulder to cry on. After that he spent most of his spare time with her. He was helping her move on, and making sure she didn't wallow. It was a routine he was familiar with. Every time one of her relationships ended she went through the same phases.
First phase: an attempt to wear a brave face.
Second phase: emotional breakdown.
Third phase: wallowing.
Fourth phase: rebound.
He should have known that was what he had been for her. A rebound.
I am the man on the side
Hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
Life as the man on the side
He had to face it. Ashley was a dream he would never have. She was unattainable, and he had a feeling that whatever phone call she was busy taking couldn't be good news for him. He hated that no matter what he did he always ended up waiting on her. He had barely had any other relationships because he was always so consumed with her.
The shrill ring of his phone interrupted his thoughts. He sucked in a nervous breath and answered.
"Hey Ash." He said automatically.
"How did you know it was me?" She asked as she sounded slightly shocked.
"Who else would be calling me at this hour?" He asked flatly.
"About that, I'm sorry, I know I said I would call earlier, but . . . he called." She told him with a hum of happiness in her voice, "He came back. He said he missed me. I think he means it this time."
Carlos let out a slow breath and nodded, then realized that Ashley couldn't see him, "I see."
"I'm sorry, Carlos, but . . . I love him. So much . . ."
"It's okay, Ashley. I get it." He said as he tried to disguise his bitterness.
"You'll always be my best friend. You're always there for me . . . thanks." She whispered quietly with an edge of sadness in her voice, "I'll see you later, then?"
He sighed, didn't she realize what she was doing to him? He had been her fall back guy for far too long. She had scarred him one too many times. As much as he hated it, he had to admit that he couldn't spend his entire life waiting for something that would never happen. He had to get over her.
I fell in love with the dream that I built of you
Playing the part of the queen
Taking my own advice
I'm giving up tonight
Good luck to you and the king
Excuse Mrs. Busybody
Could you pencil me in when you can
Though we both know that the worst part about it is
I would be free when you wanted me
If you wanted me
"I can't do this anymore." He told her simply.
"Do what?" She asked fearfully.
"You know what, Ash."
"Carlos, please . . ."
"I can't be just your friend anymore . . . not right now. I'm tired of waiting." He told her with an emotional gulp.
"But we've always been able to work through this before," She said as her voice cracked.
"No we haven't. That's just what I led you to believe. All this wear and tear you've put me through is starting to show," He said softly, "I need time away from you."
"Don't say that." She begged. He closed his eyes. He could hear the sob in her voice, "I'm so sorry, I never meant to."
"It's too late for sorry." He stated with glum finality, "I wish you and Andros all of the best, and maybe someday you and I can be friends again . . . but My sanity can't take much more."
A shaky sigh sounded from the other end of the line, "Alright . . . if that's what you feel you need. I . . . will give you your space."
He smiled sadly, "It is what I need, and thank you for understanding."
"Goodbye, Carlos." She choked out through her now audible sobs. He clenched his jaw, and closed his eyes. He had to do this. He would never find someone else if he didn't.
"Goodbye Ashley." He said as he hung the phone up slowly.
The love of his life was gone. He didn't know how long she would be absent from his life. He didn't know how long it would take him to get over her. But he was going to try.
I am the man on the side
Hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
Life as the man
You know life as the man
Living life as the man on the side
Despite the feeling of his heart breaking, a weight lifted off of his shoulders. He was free. He didn't have to wait for her any longer. He was no longer the man on the side, and he never had to be again.
He only hoped he hadn't made a huge mistake.
He sighed, one thing was for sure. There would never be another Ashley Hammond.
This is one of my favorite John Mayer songs. I've been dying to base a fic on it ever since I heard it.
I am very proud of this story. It's my first solely PRiS fic, however short it may be.
I've always loved Carlos as a character. He seemed to be the nice guy that always got the shaft.
And I really enjoyed focusing on him in this one.
Enjoy!
angellwings