You Flew Away
"In this story I really don't own anything but the character that I'm portraying in the first person. The character of James is also fictional but I do not own him either, he belongs to a special person close to me. The plot is based on an online role-play I was once involved in last year and I just couldn't stop thinking of this and I had to write it. I don't own Charmed or the character Wyatt Halliwell that comes into this small fiction. I hope not to be sued for this. I just had to get my feelings out. – Dee"
I'm nothing special. Okay, maybe a little. What, If I was to be honest? I really don't see how myself. I'm just trying to get by in a college course that's already going down the drain because I'm finding it hard to concentrate. Maybe I'm not cut out with childcare. My name's Debbie. I'm nineteen years old and well I feel like I'm throwing my life away.
I'm not saying I have a bigger part to play in life. But it can't be this. Can it? Well I hope not because right now my life is just a waste and if I was to die then no one would really notice and we can't have that right? To other's I'm just some brunette who walks by them, they don't stare or comment on my beauty – maybe because I'm no prize catch – but I'm not that bad, honestly. I'm just another invisible person in life.
Maybe that's why I felt attracted to someone like James.
I never knew what kind of life I'd get into when I first met him. I thought he was just another normal guy. Seems like once again was wrong there. I didn't believe him at first when he told me in confidence that he was an angel from the future. Well, at the time... Yeah I really should have believed him. I mean I had just been attacked by something called a demon. I always believed supernatural beings to be a myth. Who would have ever believed they'd exist.
Or witches...
Why the hell would I ever had considered witches to be real? No, I can't see so myself. I learned after the second attack exactly who James was. Wait, I bet you're wondering if I was in any danger. No, I never have been. Except maybe, I was a little curious. Curiosity killed the cat. Well, it nearly killed me too. James saved my life two times. For some reason I feel like I owe him so much more than that. It certainly made my life interesting. That's for sure.
"Hey."
He would say with the gentlest voice. He wasn't like most guys I had known. Not saying I knew many. I sure hadn't dated many before. Yet, I'm not really dating James. I think he has a girlfriend. He sure talks about a girl named Dawn a lot. I'm not going to get jealous. Maybe cry a little, but I don't want to get jealous. I guess life really isn't worth living I suppose. I can't get anything I want. Not saying I want James...
Okay maybe I do.
But again maybe it's too late...
His dad got in contact with me about two months after I met him. Two months isn't a long time to get to know someone and I understand that. Yet, I fell in love with him. Stupid I guess. But that's probably why what Wyatt Halliwell had told me devastated me so much...
"James is dead..."
His father was so cut up. No wonder. He was twenty five and had just found out that his baby son had died, and never got to say goodbye to the older version that had been murdered even further back in the past. If I knew the full story I'd be even more shocked I bet. Yet, they don't seem to want to tell me. All I know is my heart is broken...
I still never got to tell James how I felt.
Maybe it's purely stupid to think about that now.
Why does it feel like my angel flew away?
He wasn't mine.
He was Dawn's.
"Are you, okay?"
What a stupid question but I can't seem to find anything else to say. I'm speechless. I can't believe I've lost him even though he never even felt mine. I can't help the tears sliding down my cheeks. I never got to say goodbye either. He just left. My heart aches, I can't stop it. Why am I being so stupid?
"I..."
He couldn't even finish the question. There I upset his dad even more. God I am stupid.
"I had to contact you. James had talked so much about you."
I broke down at those words.
Why would he talk so much about me...? We barely knew each other. He had his girlfriend, so he wouldn't have thought of me like that. I move a hand up to wipe away my tears and they stop for a few minutes before remembering James's smile and then more falling down onto the material of my top. I can't stop it.
Why did he die?
What did he ever do to the world? Someone as perfect for me as him...
Nothing...
And I said my life was a waste living? He never even got a chance to properly live. He was barely a couple of days old. I really do feel sorry for his parents, his dad especially. The state he is in the phone. I can't say anymore, I can't bring myself to say goodbye. I just switch the phone off, putting it on the step beside me. I couldn't even go inside or be asked by my parents what's wrong then be told I'm stupid.
My hands go up into my hair as I draw my head into my knees.
I cry, that's all I can bring myself to do. Not that it'll help bring him back?
It seems like only yesterday that he was by my side.
Wait, it was.
I don't even know if he would even ever want me.
"I never got the chance to say goodbye."
He just flew away...