Koenma Wears Prada
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho
A/N: This is my second KuramaBotan fic, and I think it turned out loads better than my first one. The title is a parody of The Devil Wears Prada because the book inspired this fic. The fic itself isn't supposed to be a parody of the book; it just has the same concept of a determined girl working for a very demanding high profile boss. So I hope you enjoy it and please review!
Botan raced down the halls of the spirit world headquarters with surprising agility, dodging ogres from paperwork at the last second and receiving curses as she flew by. Today was her first day of work as Koenma's assistant, and she was cutting the time awfully close. George's hard work as Koenma's assistant was finally paying off after it had been recognized by King Yamma, so now Botan had to fill in as a ferry girl and Koenma's assistant until the replacement assistant could be hired. Botan had taken on the job with her usual optimistic enthusiasm, but she knew that the impatient toddler did not like to be kept waiting. Botan was supposed to be in his office by 8 o'clock, and when she glanced at a wall clock just before zooming by it, she saw it read 7:59.
"Oh bugger, why did I decide to wear these heels? They make it so hard to sprint. If I don't make it on time, I'm pitching them immediately," Botan mentally swore as she bounded for the large double doors to Koenma's office. While George had gotten away with wearing his loin cloth, Koenma preferred his employees to be dressed to perfection, so Botan had changed out of her usual pink kimono into a sharp black skirt, a frilled yellow blouse, and 2 and a half inch black heels. Botan glanced at another digital clock on the wall, and noticed that the time was just about to change from 7:59 to 8. Botan quite literally leapt into action, leaping over a secretary who had bent down to pick up a dropped fax from the human world. After the epic leap Botan found herself in front of Koenma's doors, but not before she heard the heel on her right shoe snap off with a sharp cracking sound. Botan's face immediately fell, realizing that aside from ruining an expensive pair of heels, the broken heel would make it terribly difficult to hobble around all day running Koenma's errands. Botan remained in front of the door fuming over her fallen shoe, when suddenly she heard the warning bell that meant it was 8'clock and Koenma might now be leaving the office at any time. Botan burst through the double doors and started stammering her apologies for her tardiness.
"Botan! Enough of your excuses! You know I don't like to be kept waiting. I'll just assume that as today was the first day of your job, you were so nervous to be spending more of your time in my presence that you look too long getting ready. I trust it won't happen again," Koenma stated curtly.
"Yes Koenma, sir!" Botan responded quickly.
"Now, I also noticed that you didn't bring me my daily donuts and coffee. Not the best way to start out the morning, Botan, as I'm only cranky when I've missed a nap, or missed my cup of coffee," Koenma said while visible lines of stress appeared across his forehead.
"Breakfast?" Botan questioned in her mind. She was certain that Koenma had failed to mention that she was supposed to bring him breakfast when he went over the duties that she would have to cover as his assistant the previous afternoon. Botan also found the request to be somewhat absurd, considering she was so rushed in the morning that she couldn't even find the time to get herself breakfast. But as she stared across the room at her boss, she noticed that he was grumpier with each second that passed without a mug of coffee in his tiny hands. She thought it best not to argue with him, so she said,
"I'm so sorry, Koenma sir! I don't know how I could have forgotten. I'll be right back with your breakfast!" And before Koenma could make anymore remarks about anything else she had forgotten, Botan hobbled out of his office on her broken heel and shut the door behind her.
Upon exiting Koenma's office, Botan pulled the heels off of her feet and sprinted barefoot down the halls of spirit world headquarters as she tried not to think about all the foot funguses she could possibly be picking up from running barefoot down the same halls that ogres tread in their bare feet. When Botan finally arrived at the outside of the building after nearly tumbling down three flights of stairs after almost tripping herself in her hurry, she climbed onto her oar and began sailing to the coffee shop. She knew that Koenma preferred a place called "Spirit World Café" a particularly pricy shop that was, unfortunately, all the way across town. Botan let out a huge sigh as she weaved in and out of the traffic of other ferry girls delivering souls to the headquarters. When the traffic had died down a little, she pulled out her compact phone that Koenma had given her when she first started training Yusuke as a spirit detective. Upon opening it, she realized that she had a text from her best friend, Kurama, wishing her good luck on her first day. She smiled to herself as she closed her phone. Kurama was such a sweetheart, but she felt sad knowing that she would have to tell him that his wish had gone unanswered as her morning was not looking too bright at all. She was thankful that she would be having lunch with him later in the afternoon to tell him all about her first day. She hoped that as the day progressed she would have more positive things to tell him about.
After arriving at the café, Botan slipped back into her broken heels and hopped off her oar. She entered the building and was astonished at how polished it was, having never actually been in it before. The floor was white marble, and the shiny black counters and tables look as though they were polished on a daily basis. The staff was all men dressed in tuxedos peering snootily at the line of customers waiting to be served. Botan jumped to the back of the line and gaped at her surroundings until she reached the front. She ordered a large coffee and three donuts, one for herself to keep her stomach from growling menacingly in Koenma's presence.
"Your total is 43 dollars," the man behind the register said in a heavy French accent. Botan pulled her orange wallet out of the fuzzy black purse she had chosen to compliment her outfit today, and was horrified to discover that Koenma had conveniently forgotten to give her the credit card he had promised her the previous day to pay for the items she had to purchase on errands for him and the money for the pricy breakfast would have to come out of her own funds. "Money I should be using to buy a new pair of heels." Botan thought bitterly as she grudingly forked over the money and paid the man.
Now Botan was weaving in and out of traffic again, trying to balance the coffee and donuts in her hand while steering and eating her own donut. She was relieved when she arrived at the headquarters in one piece with the food still safely perched in her hands. As she walked up the stairs leading to Koenma's office, her optimism had returned. She hoped that maybe after he had gotten his breakfast and coffee, Koenma would be much more agreeable. After all, everyone was cranky when they were hungry in the morning.
After Botan had set the breakfast on Koenma's desk, she didn't even have a chance to ask him about the credit card he had seemingly forgotten to give her before he started barking orders at her again.
"Botan! We are backed up with souls that need to be passed from the human world to the spirit world. What are you doing standing here in my office? Get on your oar and get to work!" Koenma shouted while pounding his fist on the desk in front of him. At his request, Botan hurriedly ran down to the locker room to change into her kimono and begin her soul reaping. Just as she was about to set off to work, her compact phone rang and she saw that it was Koenma. She answered it quickly, wondering what he wanted now.
"Botan! It's me. I forgot to tell you that you should stop your reaping duties at noon to take a lunch break," Koenma began. Botan smiled to herself. So her employer was nicer after he had his morning coffee. He was just calling to remind her to take her lunch break. "But before you go on your lunch, remember to pick up my lunch from the deli. I told you my usual order yesterday, so I expect it to be exactly as I like it, and it better not arrive a minute before or after 12. That is all," Koenma finished and hung up. Botan frowned. So he hadn't called to give her a friendly reminder after all. Botan pushed all the thoughts of him out of her mind for the time being, and tried to focus on the fact that she had souls that needed her guidance.
When she had finished her soul reaping and delivered Koenma the lunch that she bought him, again with her own money, Botan was looking forward to her lunch with Kurama. She entered the diner close to his high school that they had agreed to meet at and immediately spotted Kurama in his pink uniform sitting at a table near a window. He waved her over with a warm smile that she returned as she made her way over to him.
"You look nice," Kurama commented upon seeing her office attire that she had changed back into to deliver Koenma's lunch.
"Oh thank you, I'm required to dress up a bit more now that I'm Koenma's assistant," Botan replied with a smile.
"So how is the first day of that job going?" Kurama inquired crossing his legs and sipping his coffee casually. Before Botan could respond, a waitress brought out two sandwiches and a coffee for Botan. "I ordered for you since I assumed you'd be pretty famished when you arrived here," Kurama explained.
"Oh thank you, Kurama! Well, my job is pretty demanding so far. I spent the first part of the day getting breakfast for Koenma, and then reaping souls. I just had to bring him lunch before I came here, so that's why I was a little late. Koenma is pretty grumpy. I thought he would be better after I brought him his breakfast this morning, but he's been awfully cross all day," Botan said miserably between bites of her sandwich. Kurama grabbed her free hand from across the table and gave it a gentle, friendly squeeze.
"Don't worry, I'm sure the conditions will improve once you get used to it. Koenma can be a bit demanding, but I'm sure he's just having a bad day. You'll do fine as his assistant and I'm sure it won't be long until they find a replacement for you," Kurama reassured her.
"I certainly hope so-"Botan was interrupted by her phone ringing again. "Oh, it's Koenma. I'm really sorry but I have to take this!"
"Of course," Kurama said lifting up his hands in surrender.
"Botan!" Koenma screamed for what felt like the twelfth time today in his high pitched voice. "Your lunch break is over! Father just called to tell me I have an important meeting with an ambassador from demon world in an hour, and I need you to pick me up some clothes ASAP!" Koenma bellowed into the phone before hanging up. Botan sighed as she glanced back at Kurama. She hated to cut her lunch with him short, but Koenma really needed her assistance and she didn't have much time.
"Kurama, I'm so sorry but Koenma really needs my help and he needs it now…" Botan began giving Kurama an apologetic look.
"It's fine. I understand. I'll take care of the bill, you take your lunch with you and remember, we're having dinner together on Friday. You can let me know then how much better your work week has gotten," Kurama replied with a charming smile.
"Oh Kurama, thank you! You're an absolute doll!" Botan said hugging him around the neck before scooping up her food and running out of the diner.
Botan arrived at Koenma's favorite shop for formal clothing, when she realized that Koenma had given her no specifications at all as to what to pick up for him to wear. Botan tried to think of what one would wear to a meeting with a demon ambassador, but she fell short of any ideas. It wasn't like this was an everyday occurrence. Tensions were always high between the spirit and demons worlds, and the members of demon world hardly ever wanted to negotiate. It was clear Koenma needed to dress to impress, but Botan wasn't sure what kind of clothing would impress a demon. She imagined for a moment dressing Koenma in a green zombie Halloween costume to fit in with the locals, and the thought made her giggle loudly.
"Excuse me miss, is there anything I can help you with?" The woman in the shop asked rudely. It was clear that she expected Botan to either buy something immediately or get out of her shop.
"Uh yes, I'm Koenma's new assistant and I'm supposed to buy him some clothes to wear to a….uh….a business meeting," Botan said nervously, as she was unsure how much information she was supposed to reveal about Koenma's meetings.
"Oh, well why didn't you say so? We have only the best for Koenma! Here, I'll run to the back for just a minute. I have an outfit in the back room that I've been saving since it got in for an occasion just like this," The woman said suddenly become a lot friendlier at the mention of Koenma's name. The woman returned holding a baby sized suit in a plastic dry cleaning bag. "I'll just put this on Koenma's tab. Be sure to tell him I send my best!" The woman said brightly. Botan thanked her for her help and flew back to headquarters as fast as she could. When she arrived, she realized there was still twenty minute before Koenma had to leave. She mentally congratulated herself on her efficiency and thoughts of how Koenma would praise her filled her mind all the way up to his office. Her bubble was quickly burst when Koenma set eyes on the bag she was holding.
"Botan, you idiot, you got this suit in the size for my baby form! Do you really think I would go to meet an ambassador from demon world looking like a child? And there's not nearly enough time for you to go back and pick me up something else," Koenma raged.
"I'm sorry sir, it's just you didn't tell me you would be going-"
"Enough of your excuses! I guess I'll just have to wear the disguise I wore to the dark tournament. Why don't you just take the rest of the day off? I'm tired of your screw ups," Koenma interrupted disgustedly.
Botan walked out of his office with tears stinging in her eyes and her head lowered in shame. She had been sent home early on her very first day, and she had thought she was doing so well too. Botan hopped on her oar and flew as fast as she could back to her apartment. When she got home she flung herself down on her bed and cried in frustration.
"This is silly," She told herself after a few minutes of cyring, "It was only my first day. I can't expect myself to do everything perfectly. I still have a lot to learn and I'm sure Koenma was just stressed out over the meeting. I bet things will go much better as the week goes on." Botan told herself optimistically. Unfortunately, the rest of the week did not go any better. Koenma was as demanding as he had been the first day, and he was completely unappreciative of anything Botan did for him. Botan left work on Friday close to tears. She had dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep caused by being on call for Koenma all the time. She hadn't eaten well all week from having such high stress levels and she was sufficiently worn out. When she arrived home, she called Kurama in tears.
"Kurama I'm sorry, but I just can't go out to dinner tonight. Work has been really stressful all week and I just need time to recover," Botan managed between sobs.
"It's quite all right. We'll have dinner together another time. Take all the time you need to recover. I hope you feel better soon," Kurama said sympathetically.
"Thank you for being so understanding Kurama. I'm going to try to take a nap now. Have a good night," Botan replied before hanging up. Upon finishing her conversation, Botan collapsed on her couch. She felt miserable from working long, tedious hours for Koenma, and she felt terrible for canceling on Kurama last minute. On the bright side she was glad to have such an understanding friend, but she still worried that he was secretly upset or annoyed at her. It had been the second time she had canceled on him this week, after all. Botan didn't spend a lot of time dwelling on these thoughts, however, because she fell asleep almost immediately.
Half an hour after she passed out, Botan was awakened by a knock on her door. "Who could that be?" Botan thought groggily. After she had been awake for a few more seconds, another, more frightening thought occurred to her. "Oh god, it's Koenma. He probably called while I was asleep and I didn't hear the phone ring so now he's come to my apartment to reprimand me," Botan groaned. Her heart raced as she pulled at the door knob, but her emotions immediately soared when she opened the door. It wasn't Koenma at all. Standing in the hallway of her apartment building, was Kurama, holding a bag of take out from her favorite Italian restaurant. "We weren't even supposed to go to that restaurant tonight! We were just supposed to get something cheap to catch up over!" Botan gushed in her mind.
"Hello Botan, I'm sorry to disturb your nap, but I thought I should bring you something over, since you apparently haven't been eating very well lately," Kurama said taking note of Botan's frail appearance.
"Oh thank you! This is SO sweet of you!" Botan gushed.
"Not a problem at all. Now sit down and tell me what's been upsetting you," Kurama replied setting the food on Botan's small dining table. When both of them had taken their seats and started into their food Botan said,
"Work has been just awful. Koenma has me running ridiculous errands for him even when I'm not on the clock, and I always manage to do something wrong. He still expects me to keep up with my ferry duties as well. It's just too much," Botan said tiredly.
"Botan, maybe you should take some time off. Or just relax more while you're at work. You look like you've been pushing yourself really hard," Kurama replied, the concern evident in his voice.
"Oh I'd love to take a break from work, but I know I can't. I feel so silly wishing that anyway, I mean it's only been one week,"
"Botan, you shouldn't feel silly at all. You've been pushing yourself to your limits every day working for Koenma, and I'm sure you do an excellent job at anything he asks you to do. I'm sure he'd be dissatisfied no matter how you did something. He's under a lot of pressure being rule of the spirit world, you know," Kurama said reassuringly.
"I suppose you're right. I just feel so hopeless when I'm there. Even soul reaping doesn't cheer me up anymore, and I've had some really wonderful people come through lately," Botan replied miserably.
"Well maybe you should ask Koenma if you can have a few days off. It's not as though you'd be fired. You're his best ferry girl and he knows King Yamma would have his head if he lost you," Kurama said slyly.
"Well thank you very much Kurama, but I'm not so sure-" Botan was interrupted by the ringing of her phone. "Oh god, it's Koenma again," Botan groaned dejectedly. "Hold on, I better see what he wants."
"Botan!" Koenma's voice came wailing through the other end of the line.
"Botan, I think you need to tell Koenma you'll call him back," Kurama's face flickered angrily from across the table. He was deliberately speaking loud enough for Koenma to hear.
"Kurama, you know I can't do that. What are you saying?" Botan hissed in whispers.
"Botan? Botan? Are you listening to me?" Koenma demanded.
"Actually Botan, I think you need to tell Koenma that you're quitting your job as his assistant. You've been working much too hard, and I'm tired of watching you being treated so poorly. Tell Koenma that he should use his weight as ruler of the spirit world to find himself a new assistant immediately, because if he calls on you to perform any of those duties again, he will find several of his father's very valuable artifacts have gone missing again, and he won't have any spirit detectives to retrieve them," Kurama said in a mischievous voice. He grabbed the phone from Botan and pushed the "end call" button before she could do anything.
"Oh Kurama, that was amazing!" Botan said breathlessly. She could hardly believe what he had just done for her.
"It was nothing really," Kurama said smirking while pulling a stunned Botan into his arms. Botan inhaled deeply and found herself overwhelmed by the woodsy scent that Kurama always had. Botan had noticed numerous times that he always smelled of a flourishing garden, but now it made Botan feel extremely tranquil as she returned his hug. Over the next few seconds, Botan felt herself relaxing during the hug. Her body was no longer tensed and she buried her face deep into Kurama's collarbone. She no longer had to perform ridiculous tasks or work long hours for her job. She no longer had to give up precious sleep. And most importantly, she no longer had to cancel plans on Kurama. She could now spend as much time with him as she wanted between her shifts as a ferry girl. " Now you have the whole weekend ahead of you before you go back to work as a full time ferry girl, so I think you're well overdue to start enjoying yourself," Kurama said taking Botan's face in his hands and lifting it up towards him. He looked directly into her pink eyes, smiled, and pulled her into a gentle kiss.
So that's it! Thanks for reading and please review and tell me what you thought! And if anyone is a fan of the KuramaYukina pairing, I'd be thrilled if you'd check out my fic called "From Kuwabara's Ashes." Thanks!