Disclaimer: CBS owns 'Moonlight.' I make no money off this.
WARNING WARNING WARNING – Please don't skip this part. Better to avoid the story than be sorry you read it.
AN: bThis is a very dark story./b I'm not trying to tease you or be facetious. The NC17 rating is NOT because of a sex scene but because of the concepts I am referencing. If references to prostitution are out of your comfort zone, do NOT read this.
These characters are fictitious. They do not exist, they do not feel pain, they do not go through these situations. It's the worst case scenario for one scenario that imight/i happen if neither is willing to compromise.
The title does NOT refer to the religious rite.
OK, if you're still with me, go forth and peruse.
It was almost difficult to recognise the broken woman on her knees. I finally realised why Josef had almost forcibly tried to stop me from coming.
I felt him step up to me warily.
"Mick..."
His fear scented the air and for a moment there was nothing but the dominant reaction of pure pride that I had made another alpha cower.
"I told you, man."
"Yeah, I know," I replied, almost absently. I was too busy staring at that mouth working its magic. Those lips used to be so soft and inviting.
"She looks like a whore." Even I was astonished by the surprise in my voice.
"She is a whore."
Of course. Charming Cleopatra. Three hundred and two, and balding.
Josef stepped back and exhaled slowly. I knew he was fighting more than the surge of amusement; Mr. Picky who generally surrounded himself with beautiful people was repulsed by Cleo. In his world, all vampires should be marginally attractive.
"Would you like to try her out privately?" Cleo asked indulgently.
I thought about starting a war and kicking the shit out of everyone here; I knew Josef would have my back. I could grab her and make a run for it – hightail it so fast that only the settling dust would point out our direction.
I could hear her screaming inside even from ten metres away.
Then I shrugged. "I already have."
Cleo nodded and waddled away. Josef started to breathe again – crisis averted. I thought...no, I didn't feel anything. I'm not sure what I thought.
It came down to this, that I had to Turn her or let her go. I was holding her in two worlds and it was rending her apart. What she really meant was that she wanted Forever. Quit her job, stopped answering calls from friends, became nocturnal. Let her go or kill her and keep her – I couldn't do either well. I tried to choose one but she flew at me, pushing for the other. Love is not enough; it was all too Coraline and I told her so. She didn't listen, she never had. What did I expect?
The next night she was gone.
Josef eventually found her. I'd stopped looking after the third month. Somehow I became inured to it, like a missing limb. She knew where I was. If she didn't want me to find her, so be it. Well, he didn't so much find her as stumbled across her in a feeding frenzy. I've never seen him so shaken. He went off freshies for a week. All he said was, "Her eyes, Mick." And I knew he was thinking of Sarah. Welcome to my hell, I thought. Her eyes.
I've seen those eyes in all stages – love to desire to heart-break and resolution. I've seen them light up over ice-cream that I can only touch with the tip of my tongue, and swivel away from me as she lied her way out of my life. I've never seen them so dead or so beaten, so tired. I realise that I'm actually feeling slight shock – this wasn't how it was supposed to be. I walked over to exorcise the demons.
She doesn't even bother to look past my waist, but I can hear the change in her breathing as she unbuckles the jeans - she gave me that belt. She knows my body. It was like coming home and I stayed, running my fingers through her hair, and let the memory of love wash over me till I was done.
She can't look at me; I'm not supposed to be here. I know she's cringing as I lift her chin and stare at her. She looks haggard and well-used.
"Was it worth it?" I asked softly. I expected her to cry.
There has never been a drier pair of eyes in all the universe. It's as if I've flipped some switch in her with my acknowledgment - the ferocity and steel come back to dazzle me.
"In two months it will be," she answered softly, and that's when I finally understood why she's beholden to Cleo.
I think I swallowed my tongue. "Not like this," I heard myself say.
She shook free. "Any way I can!" It's spat at me like broken teeth. As if I've broken her heart all over again and she's taken mine and fucked with it till it's nothing but ruined carrion.
I closed my eyes and tried to summon the anguish or the outrage on her behalf. It's just not there. "I'm sorry." And this time I couldn't met her eyes.
"Two months," she repeated.
"I'm sorry." I sound like a broken record. "Maybe. Only maybe."
She stood up. I started; she's not supposed to do that, but she slipped one warm finger into the collar of my shirt and pulled the pendant out. I haven't seen her smile like this since the first time I told her I loved her.
"You kept it," she whispered.
Then it was back on her knees and she glanced up at me briefly. "Two months. And you will never, ever talk to me about the horror of a Turning with condescension again."
I didn't smile or argue; it wasn't a joke, it wasn't about proving a point. She found her way just as I was given mine. I hoped she hadn't been waiting for an answer.
Eventually when I made my way back I found Josef surrounded by women, as usual.
"Didn't you want to try her out?" I asked mockingly. He's been with her already unless Armageddon is nigh.
I sank into the chair across from him gratefully. It's gruelling to maintain your balance while orgasming, even if it's not a full blooded orgasm.
"And Beth?" Josef watched me with that sly grin.
I paused my examination of the freshies on offer. "What about her?"
"Come on, man. You spent months tying yourself in knots over the girl. She was your salvation for two decades; you treated her like the Holy Grail of mortals. You dated her for a year until she left you. And now you don't care?"
"Maybe in two months." I smiled at a brunette with large breasts and smoky eyes. The pheromones off this one were spectacular.
Josef waited till she was grinding in my lap, my fangs in her throat and her nipple pressed into my palm. "Welcome back, buddy." It almost sounded like a benediction coming from him.
I slowed and eased out. He was right for now, but I think two months might be long enough to find some humanity again.