this really didn't turn out as well as i'd hoped. but it's okay, i s'pose.
i had no idea how to write about the war, so my descriptions kind of suck. and my max is a bit ooc. but oh well.
the song lyrics in italics are from gravemakers and gunslingers by coheed and cambria.
and the last line is, obviously, from happiness is a warm gun by the beatles.

leave a long trail of nothing, little bad boy with gun in hand

Max is getting really tired of this. Day after day, week after week, forever after forever, it's the same damn thing. The screams and the gunshots and the dead and the wounded, and everything's a sea of red, red, red. He's lost track of the days, he rarely ever sleeps anymore, and he's pretty sure that this gun and uniform are more likely to kill him that any enemy is.

He's through being scared all the time, through being on edge all hours of the day. More than anything, he just wishes he could go home. This isn't his fight (hell, it's nobody's fight anymore), and he's sick of being told it is. It doesn't even matter to him who wins, as long as he can get the hell out. When he gets back- if he gets back- the first thing he's going to do is… well, he isn't really sure. But it'll be a hell of a lot better than thi—

"Carrigan! Wake the hell up!" yells someone off to his far left.

Shaking his head furiously, clearing his mind of distractions, Max brings himself back to the present. He hears a bomb go off in the distance and mentally kicks himself for getting sidetracked. He knows it happens too often, and he worries that it's just a matter of time before he gets himself killed.

If that happens, he'll never make it home. And if he never makes it home, he'll never see them again. Jude and Prudence and Sadie and Jojo and L—

"Get down!" It's the same voice from before, but, this time, Max registers the command just a second too late.

There's a crash, and then a really bright light… or maybe it's the other way around. Max can't tell which comes first, and before he has the chance to think about it, the pain comes. It sears through his skull and he plummets to the ground, falling for what seems like forever, watching colors flash before his eyes. He knows he's going to die.

"Carrigan!"

Max closes his eyes and tries to block out the pain. His breathing goes shallow and he figures he can't have much more time left. No one could possibly live through this, and he's almost okay with dying, as long as he won't be able to feel the fucking hole in his head anymore.

"Get up! Are you hit? Carrigan! Max?!"

He tries to groan out an answer, 'Yes, I'm obviously fucking hit,' but he doesn't think that it ever makes it out of his mouth. So he's lost the strength to speak (much later than he thought he would, in retrospect). He can't tell if his eyes are open anymore, can't tell if there's still ground under him, can't tell if he's still alive. And then everything just stops, consciousness having been lost.

Max…

Lucy? Well, she isn't going to like this at all.

Max…

She won't be satisfied with all that nonsense about how he 'died heroically in battle'. She didn't buy it with Daniel, and she won't buy it now.

Max?

Lucy isn't going to live through this either.

oh, christ, will you bury my body?

-x-x-x-

"Max? Max, wake up. It's me, Max, it's Lucy…"

He rolls over onto his left side, and tries his hardest to get his eyes open. She's there and… and what does that mean? Well, either they're both dead, or neither of them are. But if this is heaven, what the hell are all these half-dead guys doing here? And if it's hell, well… Lucy wouldn't be here.

And it does look an awful lot like a hospital.

As soon as the thought enters his mind, it's thrust aside by the pain (and, oh god, he can't be dead, because being dead wouldn't hurt this much). His head is barely pounding, compared to what it was like back there, but it's still enough to make his breath catch in his throat for a moment.

Misinterpreting his gasp, Lucy puts a hand to his cheek and says, "It's okay, Max, it's just me."

"Luce… hey," he begins, barely managing a smile for his little sister. "Sorry I had to come home all… fucked up like this." Max takes a deep breath, the pain in his temple starting to subside (maybe whatever drugs he's on are starting to kick in).

Lucy gives him a sad smile and Max can tell she's trying not to cry. "God, Max, you don't have to apologize. I'm just glad you're… you're…" her voice trails off. "I was so worried."

"You didn't really think I'd die on you, did you?" he asks, having decided not to mention that that is exactly what he had thought. Lucy just bites her lip and he can tell that, yeah, she thought it too.

They hear some nurse across the room say something about how, 'visiting hours are just about over…', and Lucy sighs. "I'll be here same time next week, okay?" Max doesn't say anything, can't think of anything to say, so she just leans over and gives him a light kiss on the cheek… and then she's gone.

"I need a fix 'cause I'm goin' down…"

you should review. because i said so.