Knock, Knock, Who's There?
By NoV!
E-mail: IlovemenoV@aol.com
Series: Slayers
Rating: G
**
Nova-chan: Kawaii Konversations is back by popular demand! So, take that, you random flamer!
Xelloss: Why did you name the fic that?
Nova-chan: Why did NoV name the fic whatie?
Xelloss: Knock, Knock, Who's There?
Nova-chan: Me!
Xelloss: Me?
Nova-chan: Me who?
Xelloss: What?
Nova-chan: Me you and Winnie the Pooh!
Xelloss: ..
Nova-chan: Exactly.
Zelgadis: What's this story about, anyway?
Nova-chan: CROSSDRESSING!!!!
Zelgadis: (nearly has a heart attack) DON'T DO THAT!!! YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!!
Nova-chan: I know. I've always known.
Gourry: Does anybody want some pie?
Xelloss: I do!
Gourry: (hoards the pie) Well, back off! IT'S MINE!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!
Nova-chan: Moving on..
Xelloss: I don't wanna wear a dress!
Nova-chan: It's not a boyee crossdressing. It's the girls' turn.
Lina: WHAT!!!
Amelia: Justice, why has thou forsaken me??
Zelgadis: It's payback time.
Nova-chan: How is it possible for you to say that with absolutely no emotion whatsoever?
Zelgadis: ..leave me alone!!!! I'm so MISUNDERSTOOD!!
Nova-chan: Crabby man.
Xelloss: I like crabs!
Lina: ..ew.
Nova-chan: She likes crab claws!
Gourry: Who likes crab claws?
Nova-chan: Nova-chan does.
Gourry: Who's Nova-chan?
Nova-chan: Nova-chan is.
Gourry: Where does she live?
Nova-chan: I dunno.
Xelloss: (takes the opportunity to steal Gourry's pie) Yes! Now, I, Xelloss Metallium, shall rule this and every other world in the universe!!!
Zelgadis: With a pie?
Xelloss: Beginnings of great rulers are usually humble.
Gourry: My PIE! You FIEND!!
Xelloss: Hahaha! Suffer in your pie withdrawal!!
Nova-chan: We'll continue this in the intermission.
**
"We have to, Lina! Please!!" Gourry begged.
"Gourry, I know you have a deep, dark obsession with wrestling, but I will NOT help you infiltrate the WWO just so you can be in a match!!" Lina shot back.
"But I have to!! Phibby's gonna be in the next match and I wanna prove to the world that not only am I a great wrestler, but I can beat Phibby!!" the blond whined.
"Phibby??" Xelloss wondered. "I'll help you!"
"Yay!" Gourry exclaimed. He then turned to Amelia and made a cute face. "Amelia, in the name of Justice, will you help me?"
Amelia stared at him, wide-eyed. "If it's for Justice, yes, Mr. Gourry! I'll help you!"
"How about you, Zel?"
Zelgadis looked at him, dryly. "No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty, pretty please?"
"No."
"Pleases that are so pretty that they make your heart burst of cuteness and your eyes become permanently damaged because of the intense rays of kawaii- ness?"
"NO!!"
Gourry sniffled. "Please?"
Zelgadis glared at him, angrily. "I hate it when you make that face!! It's so..cute!! Oh-kay, I'll do it."
"Yippie!" The swordsman turned to Lina. "Now, everyone has been brought over to the dark side, except you! Join me, Lina."
"Yes, join us," Xelloss agreed.
"Join Justice!" Amelia chimed in.
"Leave me out of this," Zelgadis said.
Lina sighed. "I KNOW I'm not gonna like this."
**
Gourry had passed out tights and various other materials. However, there was a problem.
The WWO only allowed men to wrestle on that particular night.
"Mr. Gourry," Amelia squeaked, "I don't think that it's possible to make me look like a man."
"Oh, it's easy!!" Gourry assured her. "Just..um..I don't know."
"I'll help," Zelgadis offered, blandly, gesturing for Amelia to follow him.
"And I'll help you, Lina," Gourry said.
Lina gulped. "This won't be pretty."
**
Minutes later, Amelia and Lina were rejoined in the forest, to stare and gape at one another, and horror filled their minds at their own looks.
Both girls were wearing tights and over-grown t-shirts, along with masks that covered their hair. They didn't look the picture of males, but they probably couldn't pass as female, either.
Gourry and Zelgadis had dressed in the same kind of tights, but with tight shirts, as well. They wore masks the same color as the shirts and tights.
"Let's go!!" Gourry shouted, pointing to the arena.
"Wait!" Amelia cried. "Where's Mr. Xelloss?"
"Hahaha!!" a voice laughed from up in the trees.
A figure jumped down, did a couple of flips in the air, and landed gracefully.
"TA-DA!" Xelloss exclaimed, posing. "It is I, the masked purple guy!!"
He was clothed in a rather tight purple outfit, that oddly had a tail in it.
Lina fell on the ground, laughing so hard her sides felt like they would break.
Between bouts of intense laughter, she yelled, "It's nice to finally meet you, Barney!!"
Xelloss frowned. "I'm very sorry, sir, but have we met?" he questioned.
"We're even," Lina decided. "Let's go so I can get out of this ridiculous outfit."
**
This proved to be a more difficult task than planned.
Zelgadis, Xelloss, even Amelia and Lina passed by the guards unhindered, but Gourry, on the other hand..
"Excuse me, but no ladies allowed!" a guard shouted, putting a club in Gourry's path.
"But, I'm not a girl," Gourry protested.
"Sorry," the second guard said. "No. Girls. Allowed. To. Fight."
Xelloss suddenly came up with a diversion. "Watch out!! The Keebler elf is after you!!!"
The guards nervously looked around. "Where??" one of them asked.
"He's crawling up your pant leg! RUN!!!" Xelloss shrieked.
Both of them ran off into the woods, screaming.
Gourry stared dumbly after them. "Why are they so scared of the little man who makes cookies? Oh, his cookies are SO yummy! I especially like the kind that have chocolate stuffed in 'em! But, I really do wonder how they stuff 'em. Do they use a reverse vacuum or something? Because, besides that, I can't figure out how they do it.." he rambled on, not noticing that he was being dragged into the arena.
Again, they were all stopped before proceeding to the actual fighting.
"Names, please?" a small man at a desk asked.
Lina stepped forward. "I'm Li-onardo DiCaprio. Heh.."
"Zelgadis," Zelgadis said, bluntly.
Xelloss posed. "And, I, am the masked purple guy!"
"I'm the Justice Jouster!" Amelia cried.
"Ooh!!" Gourry squeaked. "I wanna cool pretend name too! Now, lemme think.." He paused, putting a hand to his chin, as the others stared, sweatdropping. He abruptly gasped. "I'm the great saiyaman!!"
Everyone fell over.
"I'm sorry, but that name is already taken," the man told him, pointing to Gohan, who waved and smiled a Crest smile.
"Oh." Gourry pouted. "Then, I'll be the maniacal bunny!!" He snatched a pair of floppy bunny ears from his 'bag of everything I got from our adventures' and stuck them on his head. "Maniacal."
Lina sweatdropped. "Let's go, maniacal dimwit."
**
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the four hundred and twenty-third annual WWO match!!" the announcer called over the crowd. "In our first match, we have the masked purple guy versus Kopii Rezo!!"
Xelloss and Kopii hopped into the ring.
"Hiya Kopii!!" the mazoku exclaimed, waving.
"Why, hello," Kopii said, happily. Then, added, "Barney."
"You'll PAY!!!" Xelloss shrieked, tackling him. Kopii instantly closed his eyes and appeared to have passed out.
"And the winner is, the masked purple guy!!"
Xellos stood over Kopii, dumbfounded. "But, I-he..um.."
**
Once backstage, Kopii seemed to have a miracle recovery.
"What happened out there??" Xelloss demanded.
"I was supposed to lose. One of the big wigs is paying me to lose so he can win a bet," Kopii explained.
"I knew wrestling was fake," the priest said, rubbing his hand together.
"Well, I'm gonna go now!" Kopii said, leaving the room. He stuck his head back in the door and said, "Barney."
Xelloss growled and went back out to watch the rest of the matches.
"In this corner, the maniacal bunny! In this other corner, Chibi Phibby!!"
Phibby was dressed in..well, a dress.
"I'm Kawaii Chibi Phibby!!!" he shouted, launching into the air, preparing to jump onto Gourry.
Gourry prepared to counter-attack.
But, suddenly everyone in the arena was turned into mangos. And everyone was happy.
**
Xelloss: Nova-chan, you SCARE me.
Nova-chan: Thank-you!!
Zelgadis: That one ended a lot stranger than they usually do. What was going through your head.
Nova-chan: Well, I didn't wanna make it too long, because it didn't interest me, but I wanted to end it with fruit, because it was requested.
Xelloss: Nice logic.
Nova-chan: Thank-you.
Zelgadis: Is it over, can I go home now??
Nova-chan: Yeah. It's over..I need ideas! I want a **real** idea this time! One that I can write a bunches about! Please!!
By NoV!
E-mail: IlovemenoV@aol.com
Series: Slayers
Rating: G
**
Nova-chan: Kawaii Konversations is back by popular demand! So, take that, you random flamer!
Xelloss: Why did you name the fic that?
Nova-chan: Why did NoV name the fic whatie?
Xelloss: Knock, Knock, Who's There?
Nova-chan: Me!
Xelloss: Me?
Nova-chan: Me who?
Xelloss: What?
Nova-chan: Me you and Winnie the Pooh!
Xelloss: ..
Nova-chan: Exactly.
Zelgadis: What's this story about, anyway?
Nova-chan: CROSSDRESSING!!!!
Zelgadis: (nearly has a heart attack) DON'T DO THAT!!! YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!!
Nova-chan: I know. I've always known.
Gourry: Does anybody want some pie?
Xelloss: I do!
Gourry: (hoards the pie) Well, back off! IT'S MINE!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!
Nova-chan: Moving on..
Xelloss: I don't wanna wear a dress!
Nova-chan: It's not a boyee crossdressing. It's the girls' turn.
Lina: WHAT!!!
Amelia: Justice, why has thou forsaken me??
Zelgadis: It's payback time.
Nova-chan: How is it possible for you to say that with absolutely no emotion whatsoever?
Zelgadis: ..leave me alone!!!! I'm so MISUNDERSTOOD!!
Nova-chan: Crabby man.
Xelloss: I like crabs!
Lina: ..ew.
Nova-chan: She likes crab claws!
Gourry: Who likes crab claws?
Nova-chan: Nova-chan does.
Gourry: Who's Nova-chan?
Nova-chan: Nova-chan is.
Gourry: Where does she live?
Nova-chan: I dunno.
Xelloss: (takes the opportunity to steal Gourry's pie) Yes! Now, I, Xelloss Metallium, shall rule this and every other world in the universe!!!
Zelgadis: With a pie?
Xelloss: Beginnings of great rulers are usually humble.
Gourry: My PIE! You FIEND!!
Xelloss: Hahaha! Suffer in your pie withdrawal!!
Nova-chan: We'll continue this in the intermission.
**
"We have to, Lina! Please!!" Gourry begged.
"Gourry, I know you have a deep, dark obsession with wrestling, but I will NOT help you infiltrate the WWO just so you can be in a match!!" Lina shot back.
"But I have to!! Phibby's gonna be in the next match and I wanna prove to the world that not only am I a great wrestler, but I can beat Phibby!!" the blond whined.
"Phibby??" Xelloss wondered. "I'll help you!"
"Yay!" Gourry exclaimed. He then turned to Amelia and made a cute face. "Amelia, in the name of Justice, will you help me?"
Amelia stared at him, wide-eyed. "If it's for Justice, yes, Mr. Gourry! I'll help you!"
"How about you, Zel?"
Zelgadis looked at him, dryly. "No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty, pretty please?"
"No."
"Pleases that are so pretty that they make your heart burst of cuteness and your eyes become permanently damaged because of the intense rays of kawaii- ness?"
"NO!!"
Gourry sniffled. "Please?"
Zelgadis glared at him, angrily. "I hate it when you make that face!! It's so..cute!! Oh-kay, I'll do it."
"Yippie!" The swordsman turned to Lina. "Now, everyone has been brought over to the dark side, except you! Join me, Lina."
"Yes, join us," Xelloss agreed.
"Join Justice!" Amelia chimed in.
"Leave me out of this," Zelgadis said.
Lina sighed. "I KNOW I'm not gonna like this."
**
Gourry had passed out tights and various other materials. However, there was a problem.
The WWO only allowed men to wrestle on that particular night.
"Mr. Gourry," Amelia squeaked, "I don't think that it's possible to make me look like a man."
"Oh, it's easy!!" Gourry assured her. "Just..um..I don't know."
"I'll help," Zelgadis offered, blandly, gesturing for Amelia to follow him.
"And I'll help you, Lina," Gourry said.
Lina gulped. "This won't be pretty."
**
Minutes later, Amelia and Lina were rejoined in the forest, to stare and gape at one another, and horror filled their minds at their own looks.
Both girls were wearing tights and over-grown t-shirts, along with masks that covered their hair. They didn't look the picture of males, but they probably couldn't pass as female, either.
Gourry and Zelgadis had dressed in the same kind of tights, but with tight shirts, as well. They wore masks the same color as the shirts and tights.
"Let's go!!" Gourry shouted, pointing to the arena.
"Wait!" Amelia cried. "Where's Mr. Xelloss?"
"Hahaha!!" a voice laughed from up in the trees.
A figure jumped down, did a couple of flips in the air, and landed gracefully.
"TA-DA!" Xelloss exclaimed, posing. "It is I, the masked purple guy!!"
He was clothed in a rather tight purple outfit, that oddly had a tail in it.
Lina fell on the ground, laughing so hard her sides felt like they would break.
Between bouts of intense laughter, she yelled, "It's nice to finally meet you, Barney!!"
Xelloss frowned. "I'm very sorry, sir, but have we met?" he questioned.
"We're even," Lina decided. "Let's go so I can get out of this ridiculous outfit."
**
This proved to be a more difficult task than planned.
Zelgadis, Xelloss, even Amelia and Lina passed by the guards unhindered, but Gourry, on the other hand..
"Excuse me, but no ladies allowed!" a guard shouted, putting a club in Gourry's path.
"But, I'm not a girl," Gourry protested.
"Sorry," the second guard said. "No. Girls. Allowed. To. Fight."
Xelloss suddenly came up with a diversion. "Watch out!! The Keebler elf is after you!!!"
The guards nervously looked around. "Where??" one of them asked.
"He's crawling up your pant leg! RUN!!!" Xelloss shrieked.
Both of them ran off into the woods, screaming.
Gourry stared dumbly after them. "Why are they so scared of the little man who makes cookies? Oh, his cookies are SO yummy! I especially like the kind that have chocolate stuffed in 'em! But, I really do wonder how they stuff 'em. Do they use a reverse vacuum or something? Because, besides that, I can't figure out how they do it.." he rambled on, not noticing that he was being dragged into the arena.
Again, they were all stopped before proceeding to the actual fighting.
"Names, please?" a small man at a desk asked.
Lina stepped forward. "I'm Li-onardo DiCaprio. Heh.."
"Zelgadis," Zelgadis said, bluntly.
Xelloss posed. "And, I, am the masked purple guy!"
"I'm the Justice Jouster!" Amelia cried.
"Ooh!!" Gourry squeaked. "I wanna cool pretend name too! Now, lemme think.." He paused, putting a hand to his chin, as the others stared, sweatdropping. He abruptly gasped. "I'm the great saiyaman!!"
Everyone fell over.
"I'm sorry, but that name is already taken," the man told him, pointing to Gohan, who waved and smiled a Crest smile.
"Oh." Gourry pouted. "Then, I'll be the maniacal bunny!!" He snatched a pair of floppy bunny ears from his 'bag of everything I got from our adventures' and stuck them on his head. "Maniacal."
Lina sweatdropped. "Let's go, maniacal dimwit."
**
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the four hundred and twenty-third annual WWO match!!" the announcer called over the crowd. "In our first match, we have the masked purple guy versus Kopii Rezo!!"
Xelloss and Kopii hopped into the ring.
"Hiya Kopii!!" the mazoku exclaimed, waving.
"Why, hello," Kopii said, happily. Then, added, "Barney."
"You'll PAY!!!" Xelloss shrieked, tackling him. Kopii instantly closed his eyes and appeared to have passed out.
"And the winner is, the masked purple guy!!"
Xellos stood over Kopii, dumbfounded. "But, I-he..um.."
**
Once backstage, Kopii seemed to have a miracle recovery.
"What happened out there??" Xelloss demanded.
"I was supposed to lose. One of the big wigs is paying me to lose so he can win a bet," Kopii explained.
"I knew wrestling was fake," the priest said, rubbing his hand together.
"Well, I'm gonna go now!" Kopii said, leaving the room. He stuck his head back in the door and said, "Barney."
Xelloss growled and went back out to watch the rest of the matches.
"In this corner, the maniacal bunny! In this other corner, Chibi Phibby!!"
Phibby was dressed in..well, a dress.
"I'm Kawaii Chibi Phibby!!!" he shouted, launching into the air, preparing to jump onto Gourry.
Gourry prepared to counter-attack.
But, suddenly everyone in the arena was turned into mangos. And everyone was happy.
**
Xelloss: Nova-chan, you SCARE me.
Nova-chan: Thank-you!!
Zelgadis: That one ended a lot stranger than they usually do. What was going through your head.
Nova-chan: Well, I didn't wanna make it too long, because it didn't interest me, but I wanted to end it with fruit, because it was requested.
Xelloss: Nice logic.
Nova-chan: Thank-you.
Zelgadis: Is it over, can I go home now??
Nova-chan: Yeah. It's over..I need ideas! I want a **real** idea this time! One that I can write a bunches about! Please!!