A/N
First off this is the first story in a werewolf series I'm starting. So don't be discouraged that's it's only a one shot,because I'm not leaving this world. Second I'm trying something new. I Know I'm not a great writer,but instead of dissing my writing how about helping me instead? I have no problem adding you to my DocX. I have had people offer to beta my stories before, and then they just disappear. So hopefully I find somebody to stick around this time or I just get each story edited separately. I don't care. I just really want to write and not be left feeling like shit afterwards as people tell me how bad I am. I admit I need help, and I'm trying to learn.
I'm not your average werewolf I relished the quiet more than my pack brothers and sisters. Most day's I preferred to lay in my wolf form blissfully ensconced in the sun's warmth. The others filled their time playing and wrestling. At points even accidentally snapping off eachothers limbs. Thankfully our pack physicians acted quick enough to assure those limbs were securely attached back to their owners; most of the time.
I settle back down on the grass spreading my arms wide; attempting to release part of the tension the impending full moon was causing my body. No, unlike these myths would like you to think, we don't turn into half man,half wolf creature's every full moon. We could be wolfs anytime we desired, and that's what we became, wolves. There was no half man part to it. The problem with full moons though is they brought out some other beast in us,a really horny beast. For What Reason this happened no one knows. That's merely something that happened every full moon. My pack loved it. I loathed it. Whereas they all stayed at home releasing all their tension on each another; I had to leave.
As far as I understand I'm the only gay werewolf in my pack. I prefer to consider it as secret,although in a pack retaining a secret was near impossible. It's not as they would care. They're my family. They would accept me no matter what. I simply didn't want them to know, furthermore seeing me as even more unusual than I already am.
My calm is hindered by paws crushing fast through the underbrush. I groan as I observe two wolves race past me and a third larger wolf following directly on their heels. The larger wolf a male with a mix of dark and light brownish fur paces himself a little to provide the two female wolves a sense of security,before preparing himself to pounce. He catches the one nearest; a beautiful wolf with beige and white fur; by far one of the most stunning in the pack, and makes her go spiraling into the grass. They playfully snap and push at each other.
The third wolf realizing her companion has been caught jumps on the male getting herself flung into the air. She gives out a whine and immediately hops back up to pursue the others. She's pretty as well, with a nice coat of white and Grey fur, but that remained the best her wolf could offer. She wasn't one of the brightest wolves you'll ever meet. So when she went back for the same attack and ended up with pretty much the same result I wasn't at all surprised.
I rip my gaze from her, and glance back to the other two. My gut twists in jealousy, and my wolf demands to go drag him off of her.
"Mine" It roars in my head, I ignore it. He's such a possessive little bastard. "Looks like he chose his partner for the full moon , aren't you going to do anything about it?" He inquires.
"Shut up!" I snarl at him.
I watch as the brown wolf counters both girls they shift back chuckling; their hair rumpled and filled with leaves He yelps at them not liking they ended the game so quickly, yet they just laugh more. I turn my head to disregard them when the brown wolf springs a top of me. I gasp as all the oxygen leaves my lungs. I struggle under him breathless
"Puck" I plead.
He shifts his weight slightly and awards me a generous lick on the cheek. I flail under him until he is forced to either kill me, get off or shift back; unfortunately for me he chooses the latter. If it was anybody but him I wouldn't mind so much, but to have this particular guy laying naked a top of me. (Yes we were naked when we shift) This close to the full moon was making my insides burn with suppressed lust. I attempt to cover it wishing he can't smell it.
If we weren't wolves nobody would expect him to be my friend. He resembled an athlete. Whereas I seemed more like I belonged in a drama club or something else that demanded no physical strength whatsoever. He wears his hair in a stupid Mohawk believing it makes him look dangerous, yet in some weird way it suits him. He has the sort of smile that constantly makes me smile no matter how angry I am at him, and has beautiful Hazel eyes and a body that — Oh his body is just amazing. I attempt to overlook that particular body is a top of me right now.
"What are you doing out here all alone?" he questions as he peers down at me.
I try to squirm out from under him; which only makes me rub against him, huge mistake!
" Trying to get a little peace and quiet" I reply.
He laughs and rolls off of me. "You're weird"
"and you stink" I retort.
He makes a display of sniffing himself.
"Brittany, Quinn do I smell?" he questions the girls as they make there way towards us.
"Yes" they both answer kicking at him. Brittany peers down at me grinning.
"Hi" she says.
She's as pretty as her wolf tall with long blonde hair and blue eyes. She like her wolf wasn't really bright, however she possessed a particular sweetness to her that was unmatched by the others.
I beam up at her. "Hi"
Quinn rests beside me before laying her head on my stomach. No matter how messy as she was at the moment nobody could dispute how gorgeous she is. She has blonde hair and hazel eyes. Just like her wolf considerably one of the most beautiful in the pack. She fiddles with the fabric of shirt, before her eyes meet mine.
"We were all worried about you when you weren't at breakfast. The guys wanted to go looking for you, but Hunter wanted us to give you your space. " I smile down at her. My affection for my pack sisters being more powerful than any envy I might possess for her at the moment, knowing she might be Pucks partner for the full moon.
"Sorry to worry you, I chose to find my own breakfast this morning." I reply.
Puck sits up looking offended "and you didn't invite me?"
I ignore him feeling an unjust resentment towards him. After the full moon it will pass, but right now I couldn't help but feel resentful. Why couldn't he love me? Why couldn't he want me the way I wanted him? Why couldn't he see that I was the one whose always been there. Why? Why? Why? Because you're only his best friend the tiny voice in the back of my mind tells me, because you'll forever be just a friend. I shut my eyes and sigh. He elbows me.
"You're always such an ass before the full moon. I think you need to get laid more." he remarks. I glower at him as Quinn stretches up to pinch him.
"You're the one sounding like an ass" she stands up and snatches Brittany,
They disappear, leaving me alone with him. Where the only thing I can smell is him! I was lying when I said he stunk before, honestly all I want to do at the moment is curl up to him and take in his scent all day. Which believe me I have done countless times before. Personal space and wolves don't go together very well. If we are sleeping or just laying around 99% of the time its going to be snuggled up to each other.
Today was different though. I was too worried about what he could smell from me, and I ached for him too much. He smelled of the forest and sweat and so numerous other things that I loved, it was nearly intoxicating. I must smell rather good to him right now as well because his nose grazes my neck before burying itself into my collarbone. I shut my eyes allowing myself at least this tiny pleasure.
"So are you going to stay tomorrow?" his voice is husky forcing my eyes to open in shock.
I twist away from him "You know I never do" he gives an exasperated huff.
"I know, but I don't understand why." I cross my arms around my legs not glancing at him.
"I just can't, do we have to have this discussion every full moon?" I question.
"Until you decide to stay, yes" he responds. I snarl at him.
" And participate in your group orgy? I don't think so" his lips quirk up into an intrigued smile.
"That's actually —" I hit him not allowing him finish.
" I wasn't serious, that's disgusting" I shout. He laughs clutching me tight to him.
"What's disgusting is you going out having sex with outsiders" he states his jaw clenching.
He's right,I knew it,but I have no other option. What do I do? Wait here and reveal to everyone I possess no sexual desire for women? I can't even imagine what it's like here on a full moon night. It must be a mad house. Fortunately this full moon thing doesn't kick in until full into puberty. When we were children they merely sent us off for the night to go camping. So I haven't ever really been here during a full moon. Yes I wondered what it was like. Hoping I could be here, not for sex, but merely to be where I belonged.
The only individual that is aware I'm gay is Hunter, but he's the alpha and knows everything. He's attempted countless times to persuade me to tell others. Detesting my full moon activities, and the agony he knew it caused me,but I just couldn't. The foremost reason being the wolf sniffing at my neck again.
Which upset me even further. He should be the first person I tell. He's my best friend. He's always been. He's been there for me, protected me, not ever judging me. He wouldn't judge me! I love him though, I love him so much, and I could never tell him. Falling in love with your best friend can always create so many problems, but the foremost being you could fail to keep that best friend. I don't believe that would happen,but I understand that if he finds out things won't be the same. They could never be the same.
He collapses back to the ground " Don't speak to me then, I'm taking a nap" he shuts his eyes, sighing to relax.
I watch him for the longest time to see if he's serious until I hear the unexpected catch in his breathing making me know he's sleeping. That's odd. He's never gives up fighting this easily. I regard him for a moment before crawling up beside him. Well he's not going to be able to smell anything off of me while he's sleeping now is he?
We're awakened an hour or so later by Rachel flinging clothes at Puck. I know it's Rachel instantly by her scent.
She might not of had the same kind of beauty and Quinn and Brittney, but she was still beautiful. In someway a more innocent kind of beautiful. Her skin and hair color is very much like Pucks. Most of the time people joked they were related, because they were both abandoned to the pack pretty much the same way. Hunter never really had any interest in finding out the truth though.
"Fuck off Rachel" he mumbles before encircling his arms tighter around me and attempting to go back to sleep.
"No" she shrieks. The noise makes my eyes dart open in surprise. Puck continues to disregard her, just makes a snatch for me as I begin to sit up.
"What's going on" I ask groggily wiping at my eyes.
She kicks Puck hard, not playfully like Brittany and Quinn earlier. He jerks a little but doesn't move. Only smirks to himself reliving some prank or something.
"CLEAN IT UP NOW!" She yells.
I get up brushing myself off, and decide to get away before this can escalate any more. As I walk off I can overhear the growls and I know I got out in time.
The next night ,the sensation of the full moon deepens, and I try to shove it down. Unlike whatever Puck might assume I do not go out and have sex with random strangers. Well most of the time I don't. At Times the pain is simply too much and I have to give in to my inner desires. Most of the time though I just lock myself up in a motel room and suffer internally until the full moon passes. Locating someone isn't the problem they flock to me as prey lured in by the predator; feeling a sense of safety in my boyish features.
They disgusted me. They were weak; just something for me to use for the night then get rid of without a second thought. Thankfully some rough playing earlier had calmed me enough so that I believe I could stick it out tonight.
I preferred to choose cheap motels, no id, no questions asked. Someplace that I could destroy the place without needing to pay much for repairs. I needed to travel to the city for this. Which I despised! It was too crowded, too noisy, and stunk so bad I recoiled even thinking about it.
I put my bag down and inhale the fresh air one last time before departing for the night. I'm not even startled when two muscular arms wrap around me drawing me back. He might have been coming down wind, but I could still detect him a mile off. I can hear his breathing as he leans in closer. My heart pounds faster and faster as his lips come close to my ear.
"Stay" he urges. His voice a whisper, a plea.
I inhale his scent; something to take with me on the long journey to the city.
"I can't"
He turns me towards him. "Why because you're gay?"
I leap away from him. He makes no move to make me stay. Facing him now I can see the troubled expression on his face, and somehow in my brain it eventually clicks that he looks betrayed.
"I'm not as stupid as you might think" He states his voice tight with agitation.
"I don't think —" I begin to say, but he doesn't allow me to finish.
"I realize how hot and bothered you get around me every full moon" he tries to joke, but only a shade of a smile passes over his lips.
"I know how irresistible I can be"
I know what he wants. He wants me to argue with him, tell him he's full of himself, making this a bit less awkward, but all I can do is stare.
He sighs shaking his head " Kurt you're my best friend, I love you more than anything in the world. How do you not know that?"
But do you love me the way I love you? I want to ask him, but I stay quiet instead. To let him finish.
"It's so stupid that you leave all the time when I'm here to take care of you."
I gape at him. I'm almost sure I'd heard him wrong. Was he saying what I think he was saying? No he couldn't be.
"You're offering to have sex with me?" my question comes out more throaty than I had expected.
"Yeah" he answers matter-of-factly with a small shrug of his shoulders.
Part of me wants to hit him, but only part of me. The other part is screaming at me to go forward with it. I wanted him for so long, and now I going to turn him down because the human part of me is too proud to give in to him so easily. At times I really disliked my human side. No matter how tempting It is I give into my pride, bristling I grab for my bag.
"I don't need anybody to take care of me" I tell him. Trying to conceal my humiliation and rage.
He gives me a long bewildered look before my reaction hit's him, and unblinking he spans the gap between us and clutches my face forcing me to look at him. He leans in closer his lips lightly whispering a kiss against mine.
"I'm sorry" he says. "I'm retarded, that came out wrong" his forehead rest's against mine. "I love you Kurt. It kills me every time you leave. I want you here with me, not out with some stranger" his voice turns into a repressed growl at the end. I grudgingly drag myself away from him.
"You don't understand. I want —" I take a deep breath striving to calm myself.
Now I would like to think if we weren't the sort of friends we were, If we didn't sleep together naked, if we didn't kiss all the time, If we didn't touch, If we had any sense of personal space. I wouldn't of confused his meaning so much. To me it sounded like he was my best friend that loved me so much he didn't want me to go out and sleep with strangers, that he felt more satisfied with me just having sex with him instead, because in his mind that's just what friends did for each other. I turned out to wrong.
" I wish I could just have casual sex with you every full moon. I wish I could be like the rest of you, but I can't. Especially not with you!"
He stares at me shocked as if I punched him "Especially not me? Wow I didn't know I meant so little to you"
"Puck I didn't mean —" He ignores me scrubbing his hands over his face and, strikes the nearest tree making it splinter and crackle in protest.
"Fine go, but don't expect me to be waiting for you when you come back."He spits out his voice turning cold, and before I have a opportunity to say anything else he shifts, and hurries off. I want to go after him, I should have went after him, but for some reason I don't.
-
As the weeks pass I'm lost in a deep depression. You never understand how much you need someone until they're no longer there. Puck hasn't left or anything he's still around, just not around me. Did I expect everything to not be at least a little awkward after the full moon? Of course not. I just didn't expect this.
In his world I didn't even appear to exist anymore. Even when we were around each other he didn't even spare me a glance. I felt so alone that all I wanted to do is roll into a ball and cry, but every time the tears started I forced them back and escaped. Running hard enough that human things like love and isolation were nothing but an bothersome fog in the back of my mind.
Too occupied by my run I don't see the wolf sneaking up behind me. I turn to just in time to get knocked off my feet. Disoriented I look up and see brown fur, making my heart skip a beat. Then I notice the fur is too light and the wolf too short. It isn't him. I take Rachel's foreleg into my jaws trying to yank her off balance, but just in time she manages to vault away. She circles me snapping at my fur. Then runs away forcing me to find her. I yelp and lunge up shoving my way through the trees until I catch up to her in time to witness her poke her muzzle out sniffing the air tentatively.
She detects me too late, and I make my attack. I pounce on her throwing us both rolling; kicking and snapping at each other until I eventually manage to pin her giving out a loud yip of victory. She wriggles free and springs up running. I watch her for a moment then give pursuit.
Later that evening plucking off a piece of meat on my plate Rachel takes a seat down beside me at dinner. I haven't been capable of eating much, and began to favor my hunger pain to the other pain. This lasted until Hunter noticed. Now I had to eat in his company.
"So, where have been disappearing lately?" disappearing? I didn't notice I was. I suppose I have been keeping to myself a lot recently or wallowing in self pity, but not disappearing, anybody with a nose could find me.
"Nowhere" I respond. I pick at the carpet to prevent my eyes from staring across the room to where I knew he was standing. Without Any Warning Rachel gasps, and clutches my arm hard.
"Kurt, why do you smell like a lone wolf?" the quavering tone of her voice forces me to peer up at her.
I wasn't the only one. Everybody in the room turned to look, and began inhaling the air to discern if they detected it too. That is everybody, but Puck who had conveniently vanished right before everybody twisted to look at us.
"Kurt? What? Why?" their voices a jumbled mixture of panic and terror, and all the attention made my wolf itch to come out.
"Everybody out" Hunter's voice is relaxed and placid cutting off their cries, and everybody is bound to obey. I attempt to leave too,although I understand his command wasn't intended for me.
He comes over and studies me calmly before pulling up a chair. Hunter's attractive with shaved brown hair, and piercing blue eyes , which in wolf form made him look even more magnificent. If you didn't know him Hunter could look downright scary, but that's how he wanted people to see him. All he cared about was his people, his pack. He didn't care if people were a little weary of him. If it meant keeping his pack safe.
"Kurt" he laments. "Are you planning on leaving the pack?" his question shocks me.
Was me maintaining my distance gradually making me develop into a lone wolf? The concept of such a thing frightened me more than anything. I couldn't be a lone wolf. I needed my pack too much. To be a lone wolf meant my wolf unbeknownst to me was slowly severing the bonds between me and my pack, and one day when I ran, I would run and never come back.
"No, I just—" my voice trembles and this time I'm not able to push my tears back. The depression in addition to the idea of becoming lone wolf being too much to manage. He touches my shoulder.
"I know" his voice is somewhat angry, but not at me I soon realize.
"Puck— Puck I know you're listening, come in here right now." once more his voice is calm, but demanding.
I wipe at my eyes until I can see Puck enter the room. He still tries to ignore me, however his eyes to a small extent shift my direction. Hunter stands up putting his chair aside and grasps Pucks arm.
" You caused this. Now fix it" he commands. Puck gapes at him with false bewilderment.
"I didn't do anything" he replies attempting to protect himself.
Hunter grabs his neck like a misbehaving pup.
His voice instantly becomes bitter "How would you feel being isolated and disregarded?"
Puck manages to release himself from his grip " He isn't, just because he and I aren't friends anymore doesn't mean he doesn't have the rest of the pack."
Ouch! I feel a sliver of pain hit me in the chest. Hunters eyes close out of annoyance or to calm himself I don't know. I'm too occupied floundering in my own emotions to sniff out his.
"Puck—" he pauses takes a breath. "You're everything to him. You didn't imagine losing you wouldn't hurt?"
Oh he knew alright and that made it worse. He simply didn't care that I was hurting. He wanted me to.
Hunter touches his shoulder again "Like I said before fix this" and with that Hunter leaves, leaving us alone for the first time in weeks.
With a huff Puck collapses to the floor, not near to me,but closer than he's been since the full moon. Close enough for me to smell him. Inside my wolf whines and howls. He misses his mate— His mate? Did that thought really just come to my mind? Yes my wolf reassures me. He had picked his mate, and it was Puck. It always has been. I shake my head attempting to get back into my own mind. The wolf will have it's time later. This was my time. I glance at Puck and see him having a similar struggle.
"No" he whispers to himself,and I know he's communicating with his wolf.
Eventually he turns pinning me with his full gaze making me shiver.
Suddenly he stands. "Not here" he states as he glares at the door way. Making the others scurry off.
He walks outside. I hesitantly stand to go after him. Not really wanting to be hurt by him anymore. What if he just tells me to get over it? To tell me I knew what was going to happen or to give me even more reasons why he won't be my friend anymore.
After about a half mile he turns on me furious. "You have a lot of nerve! You know that?" he yells. "Now everybody assumes I'm the bad guy! They think I hurt you so much that I turned you lone wolf"
Full Indignation superseded my pain now. "You're such an ass. I didn't do or say anything to make anybody believe that! I just can't — It's not my fault I'm taking it so hard okay. If I could only forget you and tell you to fuck off I would!"
He shakes his head at me "What did you suspect? I tell you how I feel and you decide to go out and spend the night with a random stranger. I get it if you don't feel the same way okay , however for you to act so —" he pauses. "It really hurt"
None of this makes sense. That's not what transpired or did it? What did he mean, he told me how he felt and he understood if I didn't feel the same way? The truth hit's me like a brick. He was telling me he was in love with me and I foolishly took it as him trying to take care of me. His love nothing stronger than what one friend feels towards another.
Without thinking I launch myself towards him. My lips smashing into his. He hesitates for a second dazed, then allows me in. He tastes like heaven. We might have kissed several times before, just not like this. I pour all my emotions into the kiss until tears are streaming down my cheeks, and I'm drowning myself in him. Taking in his scent and the delicious taste of his mouth on mine. All the hurt and misery spills out of me. I missed him so much!
I love you" I moan. "I love you so much!"
He groans hoisting me off my feet until my legs are wrapped around his waist. He shoves me hard against a tree; the pain making it feel even more amazing as he grinds his body vigorously against mine.
"I don't understand" he gasps. I draw him back into the kiss.
"I was stupid, so stupid" I respond trying my best not to break from the kiss.
His hands go to the buttons of my jeans. Not much for subtlety he doesn't bother unfastening them. He just lays me on the ground and rips them off; followed by my shirt and boxers. Not even remembering what I was wearing at the moment I couldn't seem to care. He discards his own clothes much the same way.
He bends over me, intensifying the kiss; his fingers moving over my thighs. Making chills course through my body. Without any warning; he raises my hips and thrusts inside me. I gasp my nails instantly clutching on to him, hard enough that I can feel his skin tear beneath them.
Unlike humans; when we have sex we don't use items like lube or condoms. I didn't even know such items existed until my excursions to the outside world. Even Though things like condoms or birth control could extremely benefit our female wolves; we didn't use them, and yes they spent a good amount of the time pregnant. That didn't matter to us though, since we all raised the children together as a pack. It wasn't as if we were so uncivilized that we didn't know who the fathers were or anything. That would lead to all sorts of problems, but we simply didn't care.
Now as it came to lube, I have used it in the past with my human partners along with a little preparation. It might have made it easier, but the animal in me loved this! The tightness in addition to rawness of his skin chaffing against mine, oh and the pain! So much pain it caused my eyes water. Making me feel alive!
I dig my nails deeper into him, and bite down hard on his shoulder. He pushes deeper and harder inside me until I'm left dizzy and raw trying with all my strength not to pass out. Then gradually the pain subsides and it's replaced with only overwhelming pleasure. I clamp down harder on his shoulder to stop from crying out. He moves faster and faster until I feel him climax inside me, drawing me closer to my own.
He slows down, his thrusts easing just a bit. I gasp pulling my mouth from his shoulder and graze my fingers slowly over whatever damage I might have made on his back.
He kisses me gently his palm moving between my thighs until he's stroking me. I move thrusting myself harder into his hand until I feel my own release.
He collapses to the grass beside me, drawing me a top of him, panting. I run my hand over his chest
"So that's what it's like to have sex with a werewolf" I gasp out.
He gives out a breathless chuckle "You really shouldn't just be figuring that out now"
I glance up at him until my eyes meet his. "There's only one I ever wanted to be with" he leans down to kiss me.
I sit up straddling him, and spread my palms over his chest. I try not to look him in the face, embarrassed at what I was about to admit.
"The night of the full moon I thought you were saying something else" He takes my hand.
"Like what?" I look fixedly at my hand in his.
"I assumed you were only wanting to have sex with me because you were my friend, and you believed it was best for me, I didn't understand —" I sigh. "I've been in love with you for years, but I didn't think you felt the same. So I never said anything. I didn't want to destroy our friendship"
He sits up, so I'm left sitting on his lap, He grabs my face in his hands kissing me softly.
"Kurt, even if I didn't feel the same, that would have never destroyed our friendship.
I shake my head "You don't know that" He twists my face towards his.
" Your friendship is everything to to me. I wouldn't give that up for anything" I raise my eyebrows frowning at him.
"It doesn't seem like you've had a problem with that recently" I point out.
With a Pained expression he drops back to the ground. I watch him waiting for a reply, yet he doesn't say anything for a long time, suddenly he sighs.
"I was hurt, so I needed you to hurt. I just didn't imagine you'll take it so hard. I was acting immature, I guess. I wanted you to believe I didn't need you" I slide off him to rest on the grass.
"Well you did a excellent job at it. You broke my heart. I felt like I was dieing and my wolf —" I choke back my emotions. "He was—"
Puck seizes me drawing me into his arms, and embracing me tightly. "I'm sorry" he whispers. "I'm so sorry"
-
As time goes by I realize having a mate isn't as different as I imagined. My wolf turned out to be almost psychotically jealous and possessive, but that was the worst of it. I soon realize that we've been acting a lot like mates for a long time now. We just weren't having the tremendous amounts of sex we were having now.
The full moon also turned out to really different than I had imagined. The house wasn't crazy and there wasn't people having sex in every place you turned. Several were out in the woods, and if they were in the house they still favored their privacy.
Puck and I went down by the lake, and since my wolf was happy and wasn't filled with pent up sexual frustration; we didn't have the animalistic sex that I imagined we would. We plainly spent all night making love. This was whatever it was like having sex with a werewolf when you were happy. We might still have sex like the first time, pretty much every time we got pissed off. Which with Puck was a lot, but during our first full moon together it was perfect.
The next day everybody just laid around the house lazily all covered in the same bites and scratches. Nobody talking. Just enjoying being together, and content until the next full moon came.