"I can't believe Barton proposed to Romanoff. I mean, seriously. We're meant to be in a war – fighting for this planet and all. Am I the only one really interested in our cause here?" Tony quipped, making a drink for himself.
"They have been together for ages," Bruce remarked. "Let them have their happy ending."
"What happy ending? Who says getting married is the happy ending?" Tony questioned.
"Aren't you married? And happy?" Bruce challenged.
Before Tony could retort, Steve marched into the room toward the coffee machine. "Please tell me we're not having another conversation about someone's love life."
"Oh, absolutely not. This time we're discussing the love lives of two individuals," Thor offered as he chomped on the first box of Pop Tarts for supper.
Steve groaned, rolled his eyes and cocked his head at Tony. "Really? Leave Clint and Natasha alone. I'm certain there are more interesting topics to discuss at supper."
"Oh really? Like what? Your dislike for chips and passion for silent movies in black-and-white? No thank you," Tony said.
"I believe what we're trying to say is that there isn't any need to disapprove of their relationship. After all, you have recently gotten married to Pepper. What's wrong if they get married too?" Bruce asked, setting a mug down on the centre table.
When Tony didn't reply after a few seconds, Steve perked up. "Ah. I've got it. You're jealous! You're afraid that their wedding will be better than yours!"
Tony's head swivelled in Steve's direction at that and he shot the blond man a sharp look. "What an utterly ridiculous statement. How totally childish of you to insinuate that I'm bothered about such small matters! I was in fact more concerned with how they are going to get married when there's such chaos in the world right now. I was thinking of helping them do it, actually."
"I doubt that the agents need your assistance with planning their matrimony or other matters related," Thor stated, now filling his mouth with the third box of Pop Tarts.
"I'd have to agree. I don't even want to get involved with this. Seriously," Steve muttered. "You're just asking for trouble. This is Natasha getting married that we're talking about."
"What a killjoy you people are. We get to help plan their wedding! An Avengers wedding! It's a first! We could have people dressed up in beach wear and girls wearing coconut bikinis with a Hawaiian luau theme!" Tony said excitedly.
"As if we don't have enough insanity in the world right now," Bruce commented. "If Natasha heard all this, we'd probably be dead..."
"…in heaven by now," Steve continued. "And this place has camera surveillance. If anyone ever asks what we were doing, I'd say you started all this nonsense."
"For the last time, it's not nonsense! We're helping to plan the wedding of two of our best friends!" Tony shouted.
"Team members," Steve corrected. "And no, we're not."
"Fellow soldiers," Thor added. "And my opinion still stands as well."
"WHATEVER!" Tony said. "But come on, we need to help them. Don't you see that both of them have absolutely no comprehension of what a romantic setting looks like?"
Bruce cringed. "I think you just sealed your death sentence with that assumption. Honestly, Tony, Clint and Natasha are doing very well without any of our input. If they wanted it, they would've asked for it a long time ago."
"Spoken well, my friend," Steve agreed. "We don't need to keep meddling with people's lives. Particularly their love lives."
Tony crossed his arms in defiance. "I still think that you guys are no fun. Planning their wedding would make it the event of the century."
When the rest of the guys stayed silent, he came up with another thought. "Oh. Let's plan Barton's bachelor night then! Let's go to that Butterfly Club. They've got the hottest girls dancing around pol–"
"Dancing around what? Were you going to say poles?" Natasha cut in, walking into the room. The men seated at the table notably eyed the person who started the conversation, who was standing and leaning against the counters near the wall.
Tony lifted an eyebrow. "No, who was talking about poles?" he changed the subject abruptly. "We were mentioning that there's, ah, this group of singers – girl singers – which, um, Steve finds incredibly appealing, and we were going to check them out."
Steve jumps up from his seat and glares at Tony. "No, that was NOT what we were talking about," he said firmly. "That is a huge lie."
"Ooookay, what were you talking about then?" Natasha asked, curious. "I heard something about hot girls dancing and I imagined the topic could only relate to a subject of this sort."
"We were discussing a matter brought up by Tony," Thor piped up, now on his sixth box of Pop Tarts. "He was attempting to make plans to aid you and Agent Barton when you officiate your relationship."
Tony threw his hands up. "I was just wanting to help you and Barton tie the knot! Obviously, since you both need a more technologically-advanced and entertainment-minded person to plan such a lavish occasion."
"Thank you, Tony, but I don't think we will," Clint said, finally stepping into the room and approaching Natasha.
"Anyway, we heard all your ideas. I honestly think we'd rather not have a Hawaiian themed wedding. We're pretty far from a serene, peaceful beach anyway," Natasha added, smiling up at Clint.
"Um," Bruce started. "So you guys are not mad that Tony tried to help plan your wedding?"
"More like sabotage," Steve muttered under his breath.
"I heard that!" Tony gave Steve the evil eye. "I wasn't trying to sabotage anything. Anyway, what do you plan to do for the wedding then?"
Clint and Natasha simply smiled. "It'll be something simple. But sorry guys, we're not planning to do it anywhere here. It'll be somewhere far away."
"Somewhere private," Clint continued. "Hope you guys don't mind that we'll just do it with our own families."
Everyone was silent for a moment after that. Then the rest of the team spoke all at once.
"Oh, of course it's fine! We hope you have a great time!" Tony said with fake enthusiasm.
"Absolutely. Don't you worry about us," Steve said sincerely.
"Congratulations once again. We wish you a safe journey wherever you choose to go," Thor boomed.
"Sure, enjoy yourselves," Bruce offered.
Clint and Natasha smiled at them and laughed, then walked out of the room together.
The moment they were out of earshot, Tony spoke again.
"We need to find out where they are getting married and be there."
Everyone groaned.