Disclaimer: No profit is gained by this piece of fan work. The SPN characters belong to Kripke, not me. Also, not Beta-ed so sorry if there are problems.
"…Cas too? Oh man, something is broken in you…" The Dean from 2009 was shocked at his older self. Was this really what he has got to look forward to? "You are making decisions I would never make. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends."
"You're right." The older Dean said solemnly. "You wouldn't. It's one of the main reasons we're in this mess actually."
The younger Winchester felt his anger rise at his older self. "These people count on you, they trust you."
"They trust me to kill the devil and save the world. And that's exactly what I'm going to do!" The Future Dean said harshly.
"No, not like this your not, I'm not going to let you." Dean would not let himself sacrifice his own people, his own friends for something like a trap this obvious.
"Oh really?"
The younger Dean threw a punch before his older self could, cutting off his response. He packed all his anger and frustration at his situation into that punch. Rotating his whole body, he put all the power he had into his right hook. He watched the other man drop like a sack of potatoes. He glared down at the future man, emotion swelling up in his chest. He would not become like him! That emotion suddenly turned into a burning sensation that spread out to his limbs. He let out a shout of pain as he collapsed to his knees. The group of rebels came running toward them, Castiel running in front.
"What happened?" He kneeled by the conscious Dean, wrapped his arms around his waist to hold him up.
"We need to leave!" Dean groaned. "They know we are coming."
"How…" Risa started but the younger version of their leader struggled to stand up. "We should still try…"
"To what? Try to charge in there and die?" Dean snorted. "It's a trap! Why do you think there wasn't a single Croat here? If you want to die for nothing go ahead." He turned his head toward abandoned building. Despite wanting to leave, he felt something compelling him toward it. He stumbled as he pulled away from Cas and began to make his way toward the abandoned building. Hands were suddenly on him, pulling at his shirt trying to keep him from advancing. Dean tried to push them off, only to have them tighten their hold. "Let me go!"
"Wait!" The Future Castiel's voice shouted. "You can't go there by yourself! If we are leaving so are you!" He pulled at the younger man's shirts, wrapping his arms around his chest. "No!"
Turning to the scruffier man, Dean grabbed his shoulders and forced him away. Looking into familiar, yet worn blue eyes Dean reminded himself this wasn't his time. But still…he wanted to make sure everyone was safe, even if it was only until he left. "Get back to camp. Make sure you are not followed."
"But…" Castiel was pushed away as the younger man stared at him.
"Trust me, Cas. I don't think the dick that sent me here will let me die." Dean gave a weak smile. "Would ruin all the fun party plans he has for me."
He couldn't look away from the hunter, he stared with the same expression he had when his older version shot one of his own men. A knowing yet sadden look. Castiel's frown deepened as he looked at the other man. In that moment, the young man looked infinitely wiser than he had ever been. The Dean from the past turned and began his trek toward Lucifer. Castiel felt his chest tighten. When he was an angel, he was supposed to protect Dean, keep him from harm. Now he was letting the man walk forward right to it. It didn't matter if he was from the past! Castiel knew that he should be walking into that trap beside him.
"Cas! We need help get Dean back to the cars!" Risa shouted.
"Yeah…" He called back, slowly turning away from the building. He couldn't do anything. The young man had made his choice. Castiel knew he had to stay at the side of the Dean from his time. "Coming…"
Dean slowed down from his run as he got into the garden of the old asylum. He stopped a few feet away from the figure in white. Thunder and Lightning shifted and sounded over head as Lucifer – wearing Sam – turned to face him.
"Oh…hello Dean." Sam smiled at the younger man. "Aren't you a surprise." He stated rather than asked. "You even saved a few people from my trap. Congratulations."
Lightning flashed luminously overhead, causing Dean to close his eyes briefly. When he opened them, Sam was behind him. Dean stepped away from his brother as the archangel spoke. "You've come a long way to see this, haven't you?"
Despite knowing that the supernatural being wearing his brother could kill him instantly, Dean stared at him defiantly. "Well go ahead, kill me."
"Kill you?" Sam's head tilted curiously. "I'm sorry, it must be painful speaking to me in this shape," The white-clothed man began walking toward Dean. "But it had to be your brother, it had to be." He reached a hand toward the younger man's left shoulder.
The hunter glared at the other being as he turned his body to evade the gesture. He didn't want any other being putting their hand on his left shoulder especially not him, this man who was not his brother. His whole being repelled the idea.
"You don't have to be afraid of me Dean…" Sam moved past Dean as he went to a rose bush. "What do you think I'm going to do?"
"I don't know, maybe deep-fry the planet?"
"Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful in a trillion different ways…the last perfect handi-work of God."
The human jaw tightened at the conviction in Sam's voice. What was he trying to pull?
"Ever hear of the story about how I fell from Grace?"
Dean rolled his eyes, his body moving a bit with the action, as he spoke. "Oh good God you are not going to tell me a bedtime story, are ya?" His eyes hardened after he said that. "My stomach's almost out of bile."
He watched Sam shake his head as the story began. He could hear Sam's voice speaking the words, but he knew it was Lucifer. But Dean couldn't help but stare as the twisting of an invisible knife in his chest tightened. He could feel all his emotions that he had for the last three days rise. Dean found himself considering the fallen archangel's words as he spoke of Michael throwing him from heaven. Sympathy began to raise above all the other emotions. The pressure behind his eyes as Lucifer's story came to the end. He could feel himself siding with Lucifer, when he remembered his own life and his own devotion to his father. John Winchester told Dean to take care of Sam, whether it be killing him or saving him.
"…And how many of you blame me for it?" Sam smiled as he ended his story.
Dean had apparently failed in saving Sam, so there was one other choice he had left. God told the Angels to love humans and Lucifer refused. He fell and started creating demons, he had no right trying to justify himself now. He took over Sam's body because he didn't like daddy's orders. And Sam let him…it was time Dean fulfilled his father's dying wish.
"You're not fooling me you know that," Dean watched as the archangel tilted his head. "With this sympathy for the devil crap." He mentally braced himself, pushing his emotions down from the surface. "I know what you are."
"What am I?"
"You are the same thing only bigger. The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life." Dean swallowed as he could see his Sam, hunting with him. "Ugly, evil, belly to ground supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego." He watched as the man wearing his brother, smiled and gave an amused breath.
"I like you Dean, I get what the other angels see in you." He said. "We'll meet again soon." Sam turned and began walking away.
"You better kill me now." Dean called. "You better kill me now or I swear I will find a way to kill you and I won't stop."
Sam turned and took a few steps toward him. "I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael either. And I know you won't kill Sam."
Dean's eyes began to water as he listened to his brother's voice. His brother who said yes and he didn't know why. A sense of utter betrayal hit him in that moment along with emptiness that he felt when he learned Sam chose Ruby over him.
"Whatever you do, you will always end up...here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter we will always end up...here."
A tear fell from Dean's left eye as he stared at his brother. Hopelessness began to set into his heart. It raged against his denial of this time and the events that led to this future. He had to stop it. The hole he had inside of him ripped open a little more. He would find a way. For now, he was trying to get himself to believe that this wasn't Sam, this was Lucifer.
"I win…" Lucifer stated as he turned to caress a rose.
"No, I won't let you."
"Zachariah didn't tell you the truth did he?" The archangel asked throwing Dean off a bit.
"The Angels Sunday School truth is a bit-"
"You are trapped here Dean," The demon borrowed Sam's soft, comforting voice. It aggravated Dean, but he didn't comment on it. He was more interested in what the fallen archangel meant. "Angels like him forget the warnings of throwing someone into a possible future."
The hunter ignoring the tears that dried on his. "What do you mean?"
Lucifer turned and stared at him. "You and the you from this time touched. That causes paradoxes Dean. Dangerous time paradoxes."
"Like in Doctor Who paradoxes?" The hunter's eyebrows furrowed. "Well it can't get any worse the world has already ended!"
"Somewhat and not quite," The fallen angel answered truthfully. "Each paradox is different, it causes ripples. In order to have a version of you to create a paradox with, a part of you was sent back to 2009 when you met with Zachariah in this time. You are stuck here." He watched Dean's eyes flutter side to side in thought. "Don't you feel it?" Lucifer asked his head tilting a bit. "The hole in your soul? Hasn't it widened lately? In the last…three days?"
"How do you know…" He couldn't possibly be right. The dick of an angel said he would get him at the end of three days. The third day was just about over.
"The part of you that was sent back told Sam about it. You felt even more incomplete then as you do now." Sam's eyes bore into his. "I think you should go back to the pests." He said. "You have a lot to discover, when you do. I'll find you this time." With a wave of his hand, Lucifer sent the Dean from his past away from the garden.
His hand were folded and pressed to his mouth in contemplation as he sat. The pain in his chest didn't fade when they got back to camp, instead it intensified. Castiel began to think about if the past Dean succeeded in what he was set out to do…to learn. If so, wouldn't this future be changed already? Did Lucifer kill him? But then wouldn't the Dean of this time disappear? There were so many questions running through the former angel's head and he had no answers.
"Cas?" He looked up to see Chuck standing before him nervously. Sitting up straighter, Castiel pulled his hands from his mouth and rested them on his knees.
"Yeah Chuck?"
"Doc looked him over. Other than a badly bruised jaw and cheek he's fine." The other man answered. "He's up if you want to see him."
"Thanks," Castiel didn't move though.
The former writer shifted again. "It was refreshing wasn't it?"
"What was?"
"Seeing Dean…when he still had compassion and the drive to do the right thing, no matter what."
"He still has that drive as the man he is now."
"Yeah…but it is more out of anger and revenge then out of compassion." Chuck frowned at the former angel. The other man didn't say anything and that was enough for the former writer to know. Castiel finally stood up and began to walk past Chuck toward their leader's cabin. "Cas…" The man stopped, but didn't turn. "You know that our leader was going to sacrifice you all, just for the chance that he could finish this. A chance Cas…the other Dean probably saved all of your lives."
Silence stretched out before the two men. They both knew it was the truth, but they didn't want to admit it. The Dean of the past, showed them just how much the Dean of their time, had changed. They didn't see it because it was a slow change, over years, but to see them next to each other really brought it to light.
"Probably…" Castiel finally answered before going into the cabin. He had told Dean that he liked his past self. It rang truer now than it did then. It was so true that it pained Castiel to even think about it. His heart ached and he could feel the migraine coming on. He did not want to deal with their leader after his attempt had been thwarted by his past self, but he was the only one who has been with Dean since the beginning. He was the only one that could handle Dean in any mood or situation and this was one unusual situation.
"That son of a bitch!"
Those were the first words Castiel heard as he walked into the cabin. The doctor shook his head at the man. The former angel stood by the door, watching as the doctor gave instruction to their leader.
"Either way, you need to rest that jaw. Not only that but you are under watch in case of a concussion. So that means no hunting, until I clear you…" Dean grumbled as he sat on his bed with a pack of ice against his jaw. The doctor stared at Dean before turning to Cas. "See to it he follows doctor's orders."
The former angel just nodded, knowing that Dean didn't listen to anyone if he didn't really want to. He watched as the man packed up his medical bag and left the cabin, nodding to him on the way out. Cas kept his eyes on their leader until the door of the cabin was firmly closed. When it was, he only had to wait a few seconds before the older Dean began to rant.
"I can't believe I didn't see that coming! You'd think I'd know myself enough to see I was going to hit myself." Dean growled out. "That son of bitch made us miss our only opportunity to kill the Devil."
"There will be others," Cas said platonically as he moved closer.
The man snorted. "So where is that jackass? Hanging out with Risa and Chuck?"
"No," The angel-turned-mortal answered his voice lowering. "He went on to meet Lucifer himself." The man on the bed snapped his head toward Castiel with a glare.
"Did he take the Colt?"
"No." Castiel answered. "He just left, told us to return to camp with you after he told us that it was a trap."
Dean's jaw clenched at the mention of that. "I needed you guys to distract the Croats while I took down Lucifer with the Colt. It was our only chance."
Frowning, Castiel looked down at the man. After seeing the Dean from 2009, he couldn't see it anymore. This was supposed to be the savior, the righteous man who would save them. He couldn't see it anymore in their leader. Not wanting to think about it right now, Castiel stared at Dean. "What now?"
"What can we do? That dick Zach probably snatched him up before Lucifer could kill him, since I'm still here." His eyebrows furrowed. "So why wouldn't I remember meeting myself?"
"Those memories will come in time," Castiel answered. "Meeting yourself is somewhat of a paradox you won't remember until you need to in most cases."
"Most cases?"
"I was not high enough in the ranks to know the laws of traveling into the future, only the past." He explained. "I'm not the one that you should be going to in regards to time travel information."
"What else is new?" Dean rolled his eyes at the other man.
The former angel felt a twist in his chest as he watched the man get up and walk out of the cabin without another word. He followed as far as the doorway, before stopping and watching the hunter walk out toward the center of camp. His migraine pulsed against his skull as he watched Dean shouted and rallying a few people to him trying to get information on what happened in the past few hours. As he watched, Castiel's mind flashed back to 2009's Dean. As warmth spread through his chest, Castiel knew. He would yearn for that Dean. He would yearn for the strong soul that he felt even without his angel powers. The same strength that this time's Dean didn't have…not anymore.
