Title: Revisiting the Past
Author: Jeanine (jeanine@iol.ie)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sara/Warrick
Feedback: Makes my day
Disclaimer: If it was in the show, it's not mine.
Archive: At my site Checkmate () , Fanfiction.net; anywhere else, please ask.
Summary: What wrongs would you right if you could?
Notes: For the LiveJournal Writer's Choice "The chance to write a past wrong" challenge… I cannot be the only one who thought of Quantum Leap when this went up!
***
They are enjoying a relaxing morning together after work, just the two of them, breakfast on his couch, curled up and blocking out the world. As if their tradition, they channel-surf idly, no real idea of what they want to watch, and Sara's not too concerned when Warrick begins poking fun at her choice of programme. After all, in the long list of things that they've ever disagreed about, this is pretty minor, especially when Warrick is speaking with that grin on his face.
"No way," he tells her, trying to wrest the remote control from her grasp. "No way are we watching this."
"I like this show," she protests, leaning away from him, avoiding his questing, tickling fingers.
"Quantum Leap?" he asks, casting a glance at the screen where Dean Stockwell is explaining to Scott Bakula where and when he is. "You've been spending too much time with Archie."
She laughs. "It's a good show," she tells him. "I mean, come on… leaping through time, putting right what once went wrong?"
Warrick shakes his head. "I just don't see the appeal."
She sits up straighter on the couch, turning slightly to face him. "Come on," she says, leaning forward, close enough to feel the warmth of his body against hers while still keeping the remote control out of arms' reach. "You're telling me you've never wanted to go back and fix some choice you made?"
She's teasing, speaking lightly, but he looks away from her as shadows fall across his face, the kind of shadows that she usually only sees around the anniversary of when she first came to Vegas. Then she realises what she's just said, and to who, and she understands on a bone deep level the desire to go back in time and undo something you've done.
"God, Warrick," she says, instantly contrite. "I didn't mean it like that… I swear, I wouldn't say something like that…"
"I know that," Warrick assures her, reaching across the couch to take her hand in both of his. "I know that."
He might know that, but it doesn't make her feel better. "I can't believe I said that," she mutters, more to herself than him, grinding the heel of her free hand into her forehead. "I'm sorry…" Because she, more than anyone else, knows how much the memory of Holly Gribbs haunts him, and the last thing she would ever want to do is hurt him more.
"It's ok." But there's still something on his mind. She knows that because he hasn't looked up at her yet, so she waits patiently until he's ready to speak his mind. "It's just… it's weird, that's all."
She frowns. "Weird how?"
He shrugs, staring at their joined hands. "It's just… I know what happened that day. I know what I did. Know that if I hadn't, Holly would still be alive. And I'd give anything Sara… anything… to go back and undo that."
He pauses, and she thinks he's going to look up at her then, but he doesn't. "I know that," she tells him quietly.
"But then there's this other part of me," he continues. "Sayin' that if I hadn't done what I did… then I never would have met you. And I wouldn't want that either." He looks up at her then, green eyes serious, and a lump forms in her throat that makes it impossible for her to speak, so she's glad when she keeps on talking. "Because as much as we've fought, and as crazy as you make me… there's no way I want to imagine my life without you in it." His grip on her hands tightens. "Does that make me a bad person?"
She's still finding it hard to talk past the lump in her throat, so she tries to smile, leans forward and touches his cheek lightly with her hand. "No," she whispers. "Because I can't imagine my life without you either."
She leans forward the rest of the way, pressing her lips against his, allowing him to pull her down so that they're both lying on the couch. She kisses him, forgetting all about Quantum Leap and the past brought them here.
The present is far more interesting.