A Simple Case of Stupidity, and then some.

Greetings! This is technically my first fic since my younger brother gave his profile to me (Something about not getting reviews and what-not.). Too me, it isn't the reviews, just as long as someone reads it, should it be fine. Now, on with the show.

Jill's House… 8:30 P.M… Friday Night…

The gang was sitting inside Jill's house, her living room to be specific. Since her father was a thief, they weren't surprised by the quality of items, and her items, to be any less. She had a huge, 35-Inch HD TV, and a couch long enough to sit around twenty people. She had two, finely crafted single chairs to the left and right of the couch, and a fine glass table. The rug was made of leather, and the pillow cases for the chairs were made by, probably, satin. Chris sat on the single chair to the right, with Leon, Claire, Barry, Carlos, Sherry, Billy, and Rebecca sitting on the couch. Rushing footsteps were then heard as Jill rushed down the stairs and turned the corner to see the gang there. "Whoa, what're you guys doing here? She asked in surprise. "It's Friday Jill, gaming night" said Chris as Billy nodded in excitement. She then looked at her watch which also kept track of the day and held her hands up in defeat.

"Alright, I guess you're right" she said as she walked over to the base of her TV and activated the Xbox 360 console. "I got dibs on player 1!" said Chris as Leon brought his head back. "Damn it Chris, you're always player 1" he said. "Well I bought Jill the console for her birthday" he said. "Well that technically means it mine doesn't it?" she said. "She's got a point Chris" said Barry. "Fine!" he said as he threw the controller to Jill, Carlos grabbing the second. Leon grabbed the third, and Rebecca the fourth. "Alright, what game should we play first?" asked Jill. "DOA4" said Carlos. "Rainbow Six: Vegas!" shouted Leon. "F.E.A.R." muttered Rebecca. "What about Splinter Cell?" asked Jill? "Sounds fine to me" said the rest as she placed the CD in and pressed the video button on the TV's remote. As the game loaded, she selected the Multiplayer option. After they picked their sides and map, the game began. "Ha-ha, you can't possible dream of hitting me" said Leon as he was shot from the back. "That was a cheap shot!" he announced before continuing.

Just then, the bell to Jill's house rang. "Someone open the door" said Jill as Barry looked at Chris. "You heard her Chris, check the door" he said as Chris started bitching. "You want a banana up your ass?" he asked as Chris quickly got up and ran to the door. "Works every time" said Barry with a chuckle before looking at the current game going on.

Chris walked towards the door before opening it, revealing none other then Albert Wesker holding a piece of paper. "Good evening sir or madam, I am collecting signs to legalize Medicinal Marijuana and I was wondering if you would wish to sign?" he asked. "What the fuck are you doing" asked Chris as Wesker looked up to see his nemesis. "Chris Redfield, getting fatter are we?" he said. "What? I'm not getting-" he said as he looked down, but Wesker slapped Chris upside the head. "Who was it?" asked Sherry. "Wesker" he said as they all laughed. "Yeah right, who is it?" they asked once more. "I'm not kidding, look for yourselves!" he said as he stepped out of the way, revealing their old nemesis. "Wesker!" said Leon as Jill paused the game and they all got up, grabbing pointy sticks and torches. "What do you want Wesker?" asked Barry. "Geez, all I need are a couple of signs and you treat me with pointy sticks and torches, how unmannerly" he said. "What signs?" asked Carlos. "To legalize Medicinal Marijuana" he replied. "Sure, why not?" said Carlos as he signed it. "I guess" said Barry as they all proceeded to sign it. After they were all done, Wesker flashed a smile before turning around.

"Somebody pinch me" said Chris as Claire grabbed his nipple through his shirt and twisted. "Yeoch!" Chris yelped as he pushed Claire off and opened his shirt. There was his nipple, shaded in purple. "Thanks a lot Claire" he said with a frown before going back to his seat. "I don't know what's scarier, Wesker coming here without the intention to kill, or the fact he can actually smile." said Claire as they all proceeded back to the game.

Two Hours Later…

Sherry, Barry, Carlos, Rebecca and Billy had already left. It was now only Chris, Claire, Leon and Jill in the room. House to be more specific. They were in the middle of a Gears Of War match. Somehow, it was only those four who were the people most likely to stay up an entire night playing nothing but video-games, addicts if you wish. "Damn Leon, I said don't use the Bow!" Chris complained as Leon shot hm. "It's not my fault you suck tonight" he said as they continued playing. "At least I wasn't killed by a girl!" said Chris as Claire managed to kill Leon with the Hammer of Dawn weapon. "Really? Check the screen." he said as he saw Jill hit him with the chainsaw melee, a one hitter. "Alright, seeing as how me and Chris were dead, we'll go to the Ratty O' Brien's and grab some pizza, then head on over to 7/11 to grab some booze. Come on" said Leon as he and Chris got up and out.

Ratty O' Brien's drive-thru…

"Come on, move it" said Chris, sitting shotgun. Apparently, some idiot was holding up a line. God, how long does it take to order a fucking pizza, in a fast food joint nonetheless?

Meanwhile…

"Hmm, I'll have a- no no." said the driver of the car ahead. "Maybe a- no, not cheesy enough" he said once more. "Sir, will you just please take an order?! You're forming a line" said the squeaky-voiced teenager through the window. "Maybe a- no." said the driver once more. "We'll have two Cheese Pizzas, one Pepperoni, four Meatball subs, eight Cokes, and two Double Burgers" said the man in the shotgun seat. "Geez Birkin, how do you think we pay for all that?" asked Wesker as he looked to the left where the mild-mannered scientist William Birkin sat. "Dude, we run Umbrella. We have an almost unlimited supply of funds. Why not waste some on fast-foods for once?" he asked. "Because I'd rather dine in style, not some third-rate pizza palace in the middle of nowhere." he replied. "We're just two blocks away. How can this be nowhere?" he asked. "Gah, never mind" he said as he gave the money and took the food before going.

Back with Leon and Chris…

Chris, getting fed up with waiting, got out his PSP and started playing Silent Hill: Origins on it. Apparently, he wasn't one to wait. Not that much of a surprise. "Finally" muttered Leon as he went to forward. "We'll have to cheese pizzas please" he said as he gave the money. After around a minute, the teen came back with two boxes. "Here you go sir, enjoy" said the teen as they drove off. "Come on, we still need to go get some beer" said Leon as Chris put his PSP in his pocket and leaned back.

7/11…

Chris and Leon were standing by the drinks section and opened the freezer door only to discover there were no cans of beer left. "Great, what do we do?" Chris asked. "I don't know, but I think we should just get so—" said Leon as he was interrupted by Chris. "Wesker's got the last can!" he pointed out. And when Leon turned around, he was right. Wesker was buying the last cans.

Chapter 1 peoples. Will Chris and Leon ever get, or even find another source of beer? Have Jill and Claire already killed each other. Or is this all just a scheme by Wesker. Who knows? Tune in next time for another episode.