Phase Shift
By Ael L. Bolt
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor/Romance
Spoilers: Anything dealing with Vala, really
Summary: Daniel has his reasons for shaving off that beard.
"So why DID you cultivate a dead mammal on your face, anyway?"
The question was so out-of-the-blue, even for Vala, that Daniel looked up from his translation to stare at her in bewilderment. "What?"
The woman sprawled out over his desk reached over to stroke the side of his face. That move never failed to confuse him - he wanted to pull away, but it just felt so damn nice… "This," the alien woman purred. "Your beard. Why'd you grow it?"
Daniel blinked. "I had all my stuff packed to go to Atlantis," he explained somewhat irritably, pushing her hand away. "I just haven't had time to dig out my razor yet. Wasn't exactly high on my list of priorities."
"Oh." Vala was silent for a few moments, during which Daniel turned back to the artifact he was studying. "I don't like it," she declared suddenly.
"Well I'm sorry you feel that way," Daniel replied, rolling his eyes. "It's my face."
"Yes, but you're not the one that has to look at it," she countered, turning over onto her back to watch him upside-down. "I'm telling you, you look much better without it. I nearly didn't recognize you the first time I visited this…lovely base of yours."
"Oh, if only," he muttered to himself.
"It makes you look much less friendly," she continued. "And I've always hated kissing a man with facial fuzz. Too tickly."
"Well, that's your problem."
Later that night, Daniel stared in the mirror at himself, critically examining his face. "Less friendly," he mumbled sarcastically, running a hand over his chin. "Then again, Jackson, you haven't been on a date in…" He abruptly felt a twinge of panic as he realized he couldn't even remember the last time he'd had sex. At least…six years?
"Damn," he said to his reflection. "You so need to get laid."
He spent five hours looking before he found his razor.