A/N

I have always wanted to write from an insane person's view adn here it is...

"There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space, and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears, and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of insanity, in an area of which we like to call The Mental Zone."

"Wheat, wheat, wheat, rock, dirt, wheat, dirty wheat. That is all I see. Wheat, wheat, wheat, rock, dirt, wheat, and wheat. Oh, and also clouds. But after six months things can get pretty boring right? Oh, I wouldn't call my well-being insanity, just an extreme case of boredom. And hunger. And thirst. And tiredness. And hotness. And also hotness. Yeah...

"Ay yeah, guess what? I just said ay instead of oh! Doesn't that put me on a cooler level of insanity? I think so! Anyway, that wasn't the statement, or answer, whatever. What I was trying to say is that I can tell you what Im saying! Get that, world? I can talk! Bam, in your face! Hi five! Wait, there is no one there.

"Well, that is except my little Companion Cube. Aren't you so cute? Yeah, you are! You know what? All of my questions are rhetorical. You know why? Because I can speak and you can't! Hahaha! I shall now maniacally laugh! Do you know why I couldn't speak before? Because I am utterly awesome and I decided not to talk to that giant hump of metal they call a computer. Yep, I just earned some awesome points!

"Hey, hey Companion Cube! Are you doing anything later? Because my meaning of life is! It just decided to ruin our plans and jump into a bottomless pit full of cake and ponies and pony farms and parents and escape lifts and boys and purses and tailors and three way portal guns. I mean seriously! Who would want any of that? I mean I might want a couple of those things. Maybe, I will just take the cake. And the ponies. And everything else.

"Anyway, did you know that my portal gun had a name? Yeah, I named him ASHPoD. Epic name right? ... Yeah, I know that was a rhetorical question. Wait. Did you just...? Yay, I knew you could talk! Just maybe not with the entire Australian accent thing. I mean, why would you give a Companion Cube an Australian accent? Why would you give a robot a British accent? The world doesn't make sense!

"Oh no. Is that a... Is that a McDonalds? I never knew they had those in the middle of wheat fields! I know, I know, they have horrible food, but food is food. You know, that McDonalds is looking far away now. I shall run! Running, running, running. Step, step, step. Aww what? I hate hallucinations! I am going to kill whoever made those!

"You know, that is a funny word. Come on, say it in your Australian accent, Mr. Companion Cube. Hallucination. Hallucination. Hallucination. Hallucination sounds like distraction. No, it doesn't! Haha! Fooled you for a picosecond!

"You know what? After six months of wandering through a wheat field without any food for miles, I realize something. Wheat equals bread. Bread equals edible. So therefore wheat equals edible! And yes I did multiply on my math correctly! Jeez, cubes these days. So I can eat this stuff. Yech! This tastes like tofu!

"Hey look a dinosau- wait just another delusion. Sorry to have alarmed you. Wait, it is a dinosaur... shaped twig. Oo, look, that twig looks like a unicorn. I feel sorry for all those people out there who hate unicorns, they never get any happiness from unicorn magic later in their life.

"You know, Mr. Companion Cube, you look a lot like a sandwich. A very box-like sandwich. I wonder what you taste li- don't eat the cube. Who said that? No one in particular. What? First, I see McDonalds, then a dinosaur, and know I am hearing voices? The whole world must be out to get me! Exactly. Ah! There it is again! Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip! Okay, okay! Commencing shutting up.

"You know what, I really feel like fainting right now! Wee! Ow. Falling on the ground hurts. Do not try it. Seriously. Really, Mr. Companion Cube? You do want to fall from a great height? Well, I will just stand on top of you, then pick you up and throw you on the ground! That way you can feel pain! Real pain! Hurting pain! Hahaha! Okay and- that did not work. Ow! Stupid, stupid, why do I keep doing these things to myself!

"You know what? I need a nap! Goodnight, Mr. Companion Cube!"

GLaDOS stared at the screen, astonished. Who knew Chell would give in to so much insanity? But, this was fun. Especially if you knew that Chell didn't have freedom, just a room that is designed to go on forever. Chell's insanity suffering constantly cured the A.I.'s boredom, and plus testing was being done. A test about insanity. GLaDOS wasn't the least bit surprised once Chell started actually talking, she knew it all along. GLaDOS was surprised when she started talking to the Companion Cube, and when Chell started voicing her thoughts, it might have started to creep out the two-ton computer. But anyways, testing had to be done, whether it was on insanity or portals.

A/N

I do not own anything here worthy of owning! I am hoping to write more of this when I feel like writing something absurd, so please review and tell me if you like it!