Courage not Craft

I was never good at this
Talking about my heart, my soul, my inner-child
All that psychoanalytic bull-sht
It never ceases to confuse, condone
I never cease to muddle and mumble
Misspeak and Misstep

Miss, like mistake
Miss, like missed opportunities
Miss, like Cupid's arrow when he struck another
Miss, like Miss Him, not Miss Me

I was never good at tact
Never good at speaking
Especially what's really on my mind
I hide with blind blunders
Tactless tactics designed to throw you off the trail
I hide behind a mask of bold brashness
I hide behind my façade of never speaking lies
But I do

I hide my feelings, my emotions
I hide my soul, hide my mind
I hide from truth
I hide from you
Like I never hid from anything else

I hide behind courage
I hide behind tenacity, truculence, temerity
I hide behind a shield that distorts
Distends, defies, lies, hiding my true emotion
I hide from nothing but the truth
I hide from nothing but my heart and soul

Fire burns bright in my heart
Fire burns in Phoenix Wings and Dragon Breath
Fire burns within
Anger, passion, lust, love, hate
Fire always burning on, yet hidden by the black-painted lantern
Fire of my soul and mind

I am kindling for the fire
Greenwood that slowly burns
Yet still burns anyway
Kindling that wants to escape the flames
Yet cannot, for it cannot move
That is me

Wooden face, wooden smile
Wooden thoughts, splintering with time
Cannot keep it up much longer
The lies, the hiding, the pain
The sorrow that slowly chips away
Like a chainsaw, grinding away my heart

I bound my feelings back
Yet like horror-show monstrosities
They threaten to break free
Rampaging, uncontrollable
Until the city of my life lays in ruin

Friendship lies in ruin
Love lies in ruin
Courage standing above it all
A wooden façade that cannot truly be broken

Until I break it