Hey all. I have a little ficlet to tide you over till my next big adventure. This was originally for an english assignment I had to write in the style of Jane Austen using real life experiances. This is a Dawn fic. There is no mention of any other BtVS relationship. Please R&R. Enjoy, Nichbuket

You're Kidding Me

Chapter 1

"We're getting married!" screeched Melanie as she bounced up and down showing everyone her ring, while her ponytail swayed side to side. Janice, Dawn, and Rae froze; their jaws lead weights. "Guys?" Melanie began to frown.

"Ummm. Congratulations?" Dawn broke the awkward silence. When the rest of the group added their good wishes, Melanie began to smile again.

"Isn't it exciting? Grant and I are going to see the justice of the peace when I turn eighteen in June," Melanie, her cheeks rosy with excitement, told her friends all the plans she had concocted. "A week after the wedding we head off to basic training. Grant said that once our run is done, we can have kids, and that I will make a good housewife. I know it's going to be perfect." The others were still staring at her disbelievingly when the bell rang. "Oooo. I have to get to class. Grant said he'd have a surprise for me. Bye all!" Melanie skipped down the hall, leaving her shocked friends to head their separate ways.

Chapter 2

"Am I the only one who thinks she's lost it?" Rae asked carefully as they sat down to lunch.

"Tell me about it," Janice said exasperated. "Why is she still dating that scum bag anyway?'

"I know what you mean. I never liked the boy, but after he hit her that one time, I've despised him to the point of strangulation," Dawn added her two cents in as Alison joined them.

"Who hit who?" Al asked as she got out her lunch and flipped her hair out of her eyes.

"We're talking about Grant and Melanie. Didn't you hear that they're getting married in June?" Dawn began to fill Al in.

Al's eyes looked like saucers. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Why would I kid you about something so utterly stupid, Al? I mean, she actually said, and I quote, 'He said that we'd have children and that I'd make a good housewife,'" Dawn said in a high pitched voice, while rolling her eyes and twirling her hair. "Come on, I mean, for Christ's sake, are we living in the Cro-Magnon Era?" Dawn was getting heated up.

"Calm down, Honey," Rae said placing a hand on Dawn's shoulder. "It's her life to live or to screw up."

"But if the army doesn't kill her, Grant definitely will," Janice said in a voice that knew pain.

Rae rolled her eyes, "Hey, that's a bit cynical, don't you think? Could you at least pray that Melanie will open her eyes and see the kind of guy Grant is before it comes to that?"

"I don't understand what's going on with people these days. First of all, everyone knows the kind of scum Grant is," Al said. "Does Mel lack that much self-esteem that she wants to stay with an abusive S.O.B.? God it's like May and He Who Shall Not Be Named."

Chapter 3

The girls look at her quizzically. "What are you talking about, Al?" Janice asked.

"Well it turns out that, according to James, the happy couple recently got engaged."

"Has everyone lost it?!" Rae screamed, causing most of the lunchroom to stare at their table and Rae to blush. "Oops."

Al laughed and continued, "Well it seems they are madly in love. At midnight, on her birthday, he threw stones at her window till she opened it. Then he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him."

"I'd kill him for waking me up," Dawn interrupted, under her breath.

Al glared at her for interrupting. "Anyways, I'm sure the entire thing would have been completely romantic if, you know, they were older and the ring didn't look like it was from a crackerjack box."

"Oh, and if He Who Shall Not Be Named wasn't a piece of cheating rubbish," Janice added gleefully.

"There's that to," Al agreed.

"I just don't get it. He's another one who's got a not-so-flattering reputation. Look at his relationship with Sara. He was her first boyfriend. She was so innocent and he hurt her," Janice began. "At first he was sweet, if not a bit stalkerish, and then he changed. Even after we knew what he did to Kate, we wanted to be supportive. I myself threatened sever harm to a certain part of his anatomy if he even thought about hurting her. And then he goes and sleeps around with that blond bimbo. I'm telling you if Sara hadn't held me back that boy wouldn't be able to walk straight anymore. There is no way that May could be so stupid."

"At least they're planning to wait till after they graduate college," Al added.

This time all of the girls rolled up their eyes, but Dawn was the one to respond, "Well that's good. Chances are he'll cheat on her or do something to mess it up and they wont get married. Men like that deserve to be alone."

"What if she forgives him?" Rae asked. "It seems that she's already brushed of all of his other transgressions, so what would make the next time different?"

"Nothing necessarily, but if May stays with him, then I have no pity for that girl. She deserves all she has coming to her," Janice answered.

Chapter 4

"Hey Hon," James said as he walked up to Al. "Lets go, huh?"

"One sec, Sweetie. We were just talking about Grant, Melanie, May, and He Who Shall Not Be Named," Al replied kissing him on the cheek.

James frowned. "I wanna go now, though. You can finish your conversation later."

"It's alright Al. The bell's about to ring anyhow. You might as well go chill with your guy for a few," Rae said smiling.

James and Al got up, and James grabbed her hand. "See you tomorrow," Al declared, as they walked away.

"Cute couple don't you think?" Rae asked.

"I guess," Dawn answered. "But Jay said that Lynn said that she saw him making out with someone else."

"No way!" Janice couldn't believe it.

"That's what he said," Dawn nodded. They all stood as the bell rung. "We'll talk later. Gotta jet. Bye."

"Bye" the other two girls said as they parted down the hall.

The End

Ps- I meant no disrespect to the army. I hold the people who fight for our safty in the highest regards.