The title of this fic was taken, after what felt like an exhaustive search, from a speech HM Queen Elizabeth II made in New York days after 9/11 in which she said 'grief is the price we pay for love'. It felt appropriate for the Becketts, both of whom lost more than a wife/mother after Johanna Beckett was murdered. Kate's obsession and Jim's alcoholism almost cost them everything, they almost lost themselves. There's also the issue Castle raised in 'Knockout', Kate's devoted so much of herself to solving her mother's case that he said she didn't know who she'd be without it.
More than a decade of her life and her entire career has revolved around her mother's death. The dragon is cornered, all but defeated. She has finally got the answers and justice denied to her for so long. That chapter of her life is over. So now what? What happens after the end and what does her new beginning cost her?
I haven't given the dragon a name or a description. That was intentional. Any name I came up with felt forced or silly and ultimately, it doesn't make much difference to this what his true identity is. All the matters is that Team Beckett know who he is, they know what he's done and they can prove enough of it to earn him the needle.
I need reviews like cops need coffee. Unlike Castle I can't bribe you with cases of Châteauneuf-du-Pape so I have to beg. Please, please review.
The last thirteen years of Detective Beckett's life had been dedicated to the pursuit of this moment, the moment she caught the person behind her mother's murder. He was just a few seconds in front of her, moving almost too quietly to be heard, probably looking for cover or a way out, but he wasn't escaping her. The hallway turned a corner and there he was at the end of it, reaching with his left hand for a window that opened on to the fire escape. His right hand held a gun.
"NYPD! Turn around and drop your weapon!" It felt like time should have slowed as the man who ruined her life turned to face her and look her in the eye. It was too big a moment to take in, too important to feel anything like reality. Kate held her gun with both hands feeling a fine tremor slide down her body as she shortened the distance between them. He was just a man. After everything that he'd done to her and countless others, all the pain and fear he'd caused, he was just a man, albeit one in a very good suit.
Her finger tensed on the trigger, a tiny squeeze would put a bullet in him. A solid chest shot would solve so many problems. There would be no possibility of another jailbreak robbing her of justice, no escape, no second chance. He would be dead and it would all be over. She might know some kind of peace.
Footsteps approached behind her.
"Drop the gun and kick it away." Castle walked into her peripheral vision, aiming her back-up weapon like he was itching to fire it. She knew that feeling, she was drowning in it, but she couldn't let it control her. For some reason, seeing Castle so angry on her behalf allowed her to push her emotions back. Now, more than ever, she needed to stay in control. The part of her demanding vengeance had to be ignored if it couldn't be appeased with the prospect of him serving life without parole. She owed her mother and her captain justice but neither of them was into vengeance. Nor was she, she reminded herself, murder was a crime she investigated, not a crime she committed.
"Beckett?" Kate realised she hadn't said anything since before Castle arrived, so the undercurrent of concern in his voice was hardly a surprise. After a deep breath she said words decades overdue.
"You're under arrest for bribery, blackmail, bid rigging, extortion, embezzlement, electoral fraud, insider trading, drug trafficking, human trafficking, money laundering, jury tampering, witness intimidation…and the murders of, Diane Cavanaugh, Scott Murray, Jennifer Stewart, John Raglan, Gary McCallister, Roy Montgomery and Johanna Beckett." She paused, feeling the moment resonate within her. "Drop your gun you son of a bitch."
It was an effort to keep her department issue Glock steady as his Beretta M9 fell to the floor. It truly was over at last. He was in police custody, her custody. Esposito and Ryan joined them in the corridor, taking positions either side of Castle and letting her complete the arrest.
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand each of these rights I have explained to you?"
"I do." The bastard was damn near smiling at her, part of her wanted to smack the self-satisfied look off his face, most of her just wanted him in a holding cell so she could go see her dad and cry out all the emotions fighting one another for supremacy inside her.
"Having these rights in mind, do you wish to talk to us now?" There was nothing he could say that she could possibly need to hear. He'd confirmed his comprehension of his Miranda rights, the rest was just noise. Knowing that her team was covering her, Kate holstered her gun and took out her handcuffs. She was a yard or so away from the cornered dragon when his smirk became almost unbearably smug.
"You think you've covered all your bases don't you?" Gritting her teeth, she continued to slowly move closer and tried to block him out. It didn't work. "You've forgotten to take care of something terribly important, or should I say someone? When was the last time you spoke to your dad?"
Dread shrivelled her insides into a cold knot. He had to be bluffing…but it was a good bluff. The tension coming from the men behind her climbed to near unbearable levels; they were looking for an excuse to shoot him on her behalf, on Montgomery's behalf. It was unconceivable that a criminal so fiendishly intelligent would be stupid enough to goad the cops who had just destroyed his entire operation.
"My father is fine."
"He was fine. The moment you entered the building, I made a call to a contractor of mine. Don't fret Katie…from what I know about Jim's drinking, his liver was shot long before I had somebody put a bullet in it." It was another sucker punch to the heart, even imagining anything happening to her dad was enough knock Kate seriously off kilter. It wasn't possible, it just couldn't be…she had put a detail on her father.
"You're lying."
"Call him then, prove me wrong." The need to hear her father's voice warred with her desire to not give the bastard the satisfaction of seeing her worry. It was never going to be much of a fight. Beckett took her eyes of him as she retrieved her cell and made the call.
First Castle glanced away from the dragon to check on her, then Ryan, then Esposito. He took his chance, reaching for a second gun hidden at the small of his back.
"Gun!" Multiple bullets exploded out of three different guns and two seconds after Esposito's shout the dragon had been slain. There were numerous holes in his chest and at least one in his head but nobody was looking at the corpse slowly leaking blood onto the floor. It wasn't their primary concern, Beckett was. Jim's cell was still ringing and Castle, Ryan and Esposito were all watching Kate trying her damnedest to hold it together.
"Pick up dad. Pick up." Between one heartbeat and the next, she turned her back on her mother's killer and started walking towards her team, all her previous sense of accomplishment drowned by the growing fear. "You two stay here, call this in. I have to go." Knowing he wasn't one of the two, Castle started after Beckett as she began running back to the car, redialling her dad with one hand while grabbing her radio with the other.
"Dispatch this is one Lincoln forty, I need a sit rep from the unit outside my father's building and the one in his apartment." The radio silence as they descended the stairs was deafening. A creeping sense of dread began to erode at her hopes of finding her dad alive and unharmed.
"One Lincoln forty, neither unit is responding."
"One Lincoln forty. I have reason to believe there was a contract killer sent to that address. Send back up and ambulances immediately. Be advised that suspect may still be in the area, consider them armed and extremely dangerous."
"One Lincoln forty, units and EMTs en route."
By the time they reached the car, Castle was out of breath and Beckett was out of patience. She wanted to be at her dad's place now, not in the fifteen minutes it would take with her foot to the floor, not in five minutes, not in one.
"Let me drive." She gave him a glare that should have peeled paint, it didn't shut him up, it just softened his expression. "You're in no state…" Ignoring him completely, Beckett got into the driver's seat and started the engine, immediately setting the lights and siren blaring. Castle had barely closed the passenger side door before she shot out of the parking lot and he'd barely opened his mouth to speak before she thrust her cell in his general direction.
"Keep calling."
"Kate…" The protective details weren't responding, so something had gone dreadfully wrong. Castle's brain helpfully provided numerous scenarios of how, each more awful than the last…and none of them left Jim Beckett capable of taking a phone call.
"Keep. Calling. He'll pick up." If the tear-thickened voice was anything to go by, Kate didn't believe that any more than he did. Castle made his hand into a fist as the urge to take her hand, to attempt to give her some sort of comfort became nearly impossible to resist. He reminded himself that it was not the time for holding hands; she was driving, weaving through Manhattan traffic at almost break-neck speed. He dialled her dad's cell phone again, desperately praying that Kate could be spared losing both her parents.
The knowledge that his prayers would almost definitely go unanswered became a painful weight in his chest as he glimpsed a convoy of black ME's vans in the wing mirror. Castle couldn't bring himself to tell Beckett, couldn't be the one to crush the impossible hope she still clung to. Whether it was mercy or cowardice he didn't know, but he let her believe she wasn't an orphan for a little while longer.