In My Head
A prompt-fic for Sarah. Can you believe that the words pie, handcuffs, and mirror created this giant-ass long thing? It's crazy, I know. And the pairing was supposed to be Zemyx. So much for that, hunh? :P This is also the second time it's been up. At first it was all one chapter. Now it's more broken up.
Summary - Demyx didn't know how much longer he could go on living with the horrors that ran through his head.
Warnings- Characterdeath, rape, boylove, abuse, suicidal tendencies, mental institute, one make-out scene, I think that's it
Pairings- One-sided Zemyx, One-sided SoraDemyx, Passing AxelDemyx, SoraRiku, mentioned DemyxSetzer (man, he really gets around in this, doesn't he?), hinted SaixAxel
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"Demyx."
The blonde froze when he heard his name spoken from the outside of his cell. He hated that voice. He despised it. The sound brought with it feelings of dread and horror and the need to get away from this hellhouse. It brought with it pain and suffering, horror and humiliation.
Demyx rubbed his wrists together anxiously. He didn't want the man behind the bars to come in. He never wanted that. But there was no getting away. He cried out in fear when he heard the key scrape the lock, the grating noise of the handle being twisted clawing at his ears. "No! No! No! Don't come in!" he screeched, rocking in the corner of his cell, having fallen to the ground when he had heard Professor Zexion's tormenting voice.
"Demyx, it is time for our weekly session. Get up please." The voice was sickeningly sweet, sending chills through Demyx's bruised body. Covering his face with his shackled hands, the blonde felt the tears coming already, whimpering as he shivered. He didn't want to know what torture he would be forced to endure today. His ears twitched when he heard metal on metal, something being placed on the screwed-down table beside his screwed-down bed. He didn't want to see what the noise could possibly mean for him today. "Demyx."
"I'm not crazy! You make me crazy! You make me crazy!" Demyx shrieked when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't fight against the short man. He knew it would hurt worse if he did.
"I'm here to help you, Demyx. You meant to kill those people. You're insane. It's my job to see if you can be fixed." The doctor leaned down, running a hand through the messy spikes of blonde that now hung limply around Demyx's face. "Be good for the next few minutes. We're being watched. See that mirror up there? My boss is out there. He's going to tap on the glass when he's leaving. Can you behave so that he doesn't come in here? You wouldn't want that. He would hurt you, Demyx." The murderer could do nothing but cower. He wanted to get away from the man that tormented his every conscious thought. With a bit of guidance from the slate-haired man, Demyx looked up into the mirror he tended to avoid, trying to see the man behind it. All he could see was the wall somewhere above his head.
"I-I'm ... insane?" Aquamarine orbs followed the hands that fell down into his lap, twisting and turning to be examined. The shackles were tight around the wrists, the nails were bitten off to the edge of the fingertips, the skin was dry and rough. They were the hands of an insane person. Someone who's been forced through way too much for one person to handle, he corrected in his mind, looking up into the one uncovered eye of the man who was supposed to be helping him. "I'll ... behave."
"Good. Now stand up please."
Nothing bad could happen. They were being watched. He was safe. He had to be. The evil doctor in front of him couldn't do anything. He just couldn't. But having been beaten too many times for not obeying the tormenter, Demyx couldn't just sit there. Forcing himself up on shaking legs, he jumped when he heard a small rattle behind the mirror he could now see his reflection in. The bags under his eyes were atrocious, not having been able to gain a proper sleep with all the screaming and moaning done by both he and the other patients locked in the depths of Hell itself. His complexion was pale and his cheeks were sunken. The one thought going through his head was the fact that he reminded himself of a crack-head. How could he convince them of his sanity if every aspect of his appearance screamed he had none?
"Zexion, I'm finished for the night now. Do you need me to call you in any help for this one?" The two looked to the door that had creaked open after the tap on the mirror, seeing an elderly man sticking his head in. Demyx wanted to scream at him to stay, to get help, to help him, but he remained silent, dropping his gaze to the floor. He knew when he was doomed. Zexion smiled an innocent smile at his boss before stroking Demyx's arm, in what he pretended was a comforting gesture.
"Thank you for the offer sir, but Demyx is a good boy. He won't cause any trouble. I will see you in the morning." A pleasant smile was still laced loosely on the periwinkle-haired man's lips, almost faltering when the elder doctor spoke again.
"Oh, Zexion, I would also like to ask what the pie is for."
"Demyx refuses to eat the food brought to him from the cafeteria so I was hoping that he would eat one of his favourite foods." Demyx squeezed his eyes shut, balling his fists. He would have gladly gobbled up any sort of food given to him, but Zexion always took it away before he could get anywhere near it. But the doctor would never believe that. There was no use arguing. He was going to go without food for another night.
"Alrighty then. Don't let him give you any trouble."
Zexion smirked, his grip on the younger's arm tightening when the door closed.
"Please ... Please don't hurt me..."
"There's nothing stopping me now, is there?"
The whimpering blonde yelped in pain when he was turned abruptly, being slammed into the wall, his face grating painfully with the coarse stone beneath the thrice-barred window. Through one of the few small squares, Demyx could see dusk descending over the criminally insane's prison, the green leaves on the tree in front of him glittering orange in the eerie light. In any other position he would have believed it to be truly beautiful, but he could feel his hands being forced up onto the bars somewhere around mid-abdomen, a second pair of handcuffs attaching him securely.
"Please ..." The tears were almost slipping into his eyes. Zexion liked it when he cried. He absolutely adored it. He knew that there would be no way in avoiding the droplets, but he had to keep them away for as long as he could. Fingertips grabbed his hips, causing another yelp to come out of the blonde, trying to pull himself closer to the bars. He hated when Zexion touched him. Nothing about it felt right. It all felt wrong. Every single aspect of what they were doing was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
"Demyx," the 'doctor' hissed, a warning note in his voice, forcing Demyx to comply with his wishes. Still with a firm grip on the younger's scantily clad hips, Zexion pulled him back, causing Demyx to stumble, being bent double at the waist. Starting to struggle against the position, finding the metal handcuffs digging into his wrists as he steadied himself, Demyx cried out when Zexion punched down on his back, forcing him down a little farther. "Now stay there."
Already the blonde's legs were shaking with the effort of keeping what little mass he had from falling to the floor. His hands shook with fear. He didn't want to find out what the pie was for. He knew it wasn't for eating. Would it still be finding its way inside of him? With Zexion bringing it closer, he didn't doubt it.
He screamed when a searing heat pressed against his back. The sizzling pie-plate was heavy and he could feel himself falter with the pain coursing through him. "You don't like it, do you, Demyx? Maybe this will make you learn to hold. Your. Tongue." Demyx could feel the large circle on his back burning and he let the tears slip from his aquamarine orbs.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Demyx screamed again when Zexion pressed down on the supposed delicacy. "It won't happen again! I was hungry! I needed something to eat! I'm sorry!"
"How much did you tell him, Demyx? Did you tell him what I do to you?"
"No! No! I only - ahhhh! Oh god, it hurts! Stop, please!"
"What did you say to him?"
Demyx's watering gaze fell to the floor, desperation lining his features. "I-I ... I didn't say anything that would get you ... in trouble. I ... promise!"
"How do I know you're telling the truth, hmm? Why else would my boss have followed me tonight?"
"I don't know! Oh god, I don't know!"
Zexion shoved Demyx from behind, forcing his cheek to grate across the stone, another whine coming from the blonde, all he could manage in his fear. "Stop begging the Lord, you scum. He abandoned you the moment you killed those people."
Obviously, if He's letting me stay here to get tortured. Demyx would never say the words aloud, knowing the consequences if he did.
"Why did you kill them, Demyx?"
The murderer's thumb automatically went to the ring finger on his left hand, missing the feel of the gold ring that used to be there. He hadn't meant to kill them ... "They deserved it."
"Why?"
Demyx slammed his eyes shut when he felt fingers on his hips once more, the pain in his back crippling his mind. "He hurt me. He hurt me, so they both had to die." Images of his redheaded lover crossed through his mind and a wave of regret passed over him. He missed Axel so badly.
"If you had the chance, would you kill me?"
More tears came when the blonde felt the elastic band from his pants being slid down. "Yes. What the hell ... type of ... question is that?" Demyx bit his lip, jerking forward to escape the touch. He could handle any pain that Zexion threw at him to an extent, but this was the part he hated most. He couldn't stand the feeling of those fingers inching over his skin, the way his pants were slid down ever-so-slowly, torturing him longer than he could bare. He hated the fact that Zexion had requested him to always already be prepared for their sessions - no shirt, no underwear, just the standard-issue prison pants slipping from his hips. He hated what was coming next.
"Do you hate me for what I do to you?"
"Leave me alone! Just don't touch me! Leave me alone!" Demyx screamed at the top of his lungs, slamming his eyes shut, trying to move away from the defiling touch that was moving back up after slipping away the dirty material that had covered him. "Don't touch me!" Hands were on his hips once again, one finger moving up, closer, closer until finally he couldn't take the feeling anymore. His shaking knees buckled and he fell to the floor, pulling his frail body closer to the wall with chalk-white hands gripping onto the bars. Fear coursed through him as the pie-pan that had seared through his skin clattered to the floor with a crash, some of the still-warm pie flying up, splattering the scene, some landing on his feet and back. His hips pressed into the wall and he nuzzled against the cold stone, begging it to take him and hide him away.
"How dare you, you petty little rat? I'll teach you to run away from me!"
"Don't touch me!" Demyx wished for nothing more than his voice to travel out into the hallways where surely someone would hear him, someone would be able to come save him. They had to be able to come save him! How could they not hear him? A strong hand laced through his hair, snapping his head back. This was it. He was going to die. Zexion was going to beat him to a bloody pulp for disobeying him. A cry of pain erupted from him as he tried to make as much noise as he could. But who would listen? When was there a night when someone wasn't screaming for one reason or another? Were they not all crazy in this hellhole? "I'll kill myself!" The blonde brought his teeth down as hard as he could on his tongue, remembering in the back of his mind all those shows he had watched where they put something in someone's mouth to keep them from biting off their tongue. Something told him that he could bleed to death if he did. He could taste the blood, feel the pain, but he didn't know how hard he would have to bite to get away from the periwinkle-haired monster.
In the milli-second of hesitation where he decided whether he had bit hard enough or to continue the dirty deed, Zexion wheeled him around, one hand yanking down on his bottom jaw, the other pulling up on the top. Demyx's eyes leaked more tears as pain exploded through his mouth. He would have been screaming from the pain in his back but only the edges of the circle of burnt skin could feel anything. Jaw nearly popping at the seams, Demyx thrashed, trying desperately to kick at his attacker but weeks without proper nourishment left him unable to land a hit. Hands still latched beside his head, Demyx fell limp in the elder's hold.
"Do not disobey me, Demyx." The words were hissed and the angered breath ran over his nose, making him flinch, trying to pull back. His tongue flicked over pampered fingertips, trying to push them out, still backing his head into the wall. The fingers refused to move as he gave up, the pain too great for him to handle. "Are you listening to me, Demyx?" When still Demyx didn't reply, Zexion slammed his head back, causing a muffled sob of pain. "I'll kill you, you son of a bitch."
Before Demyx could try to get the word "good" out of his mouth, the door slammed open and Zexion was screaming, releasing his mouth. Knowing it could only be a matter of seconds before the nightmare was on him again, eyes still firmly clamped shut, Demyx slammed his teeth down. More pain flooded through him but he was going to be free. The commotion around him meant nothing. It was just loud noises and strangers shouting. He had to kill himself before Zexion had the honour. A scream ripped through his lips when he felt hands on him again, prying open his bloody lips, shoving an object between his teeth. Zexion's shrieking was fading away and the blonde hoped beyond hope that it was because he was finally dying, finally releasing himself from the suffering. But he heard a stranger's voice yell somewhere close to his face. Seconds later there was a sting on the side of his neck and he felt nothing as he slipped into darkness.
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To Be Continued
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~xbuttonsx~