I'm Sorry for Your Loss
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of CSI: Miami.
Warning: None
A/N: Here's a one shot that was roaming through my head. Funny thing is I'm working on the next chapter of my crossover fic "Journey to Love: Searching for a Soulmate." That fic has nothing to do with CSI: Miami. It's not very long either. If you're on Twitter, you can find me (at symbol) sissouthernink. I follow back.
Summary: Horatio's thoughts.
It's a phrase that I learned to say in the Police Academy. It's supposed to be a comforting phrase. It's supposed to ease the pain. It's supposed to show that we care. It's supposed to make us seem human. It doesn't really. Many officers don't mean it. If you say it too many times, the phrase becomes just words; meaningless words that roll off your tongue. In a city like Miami, or any big city for that matter, it can lose its sincerity.
Some days the words are hard to say. Not because I don't know them, but because I don't want to say them. I mean every word I say, but some days it's heart breaking. And I. Just. Can't. Take. Saying it, anymore. It's heart breaking when someone dies. It multiplies when that someone died, violently and innocently. I live to protect and serve in Miami; some days I have to say it to several families regarding several different cases. Sometimes I have to say it to several families regarding one case.
When we notify the victim's family of their death, we are essentially talking to more victims. The killer has condemned them to be victims, spending the rest of whatever life God has given them in pain, loss, anger, bitterness. They don't want to hear it; they want you to find who killed their loved one.
Notifying parents will never get easier. Never. Children are our present and future. For someone to kill a child, a teen or college student weakens that future. And if there is an officer, anywhere, who says it gets easier, that officer should be fired on the spot. We are hired to catch criminals; we are hired to protect our cities and counties.
Those words were said to me when my girlfriend Rachel was killed. Right before I was framed for it. I also heard them when my wife Marisol was murdered. Along with my unborn baby. I know why the words were said but just like the millions of other people who've heard it, they were of little comfort to me too. I wanted the bastards who did it dead. I know what it's like to hurt, to lose someone you love dearly. That's why I say these words with gentleness and conviction. I take off my shades so the family and friends can see and feel my sincerity in my eyes.
"My name is Lieutenant Horatio Caine and I'm with the Miami Crime Lab. I am so sorry for your loss. I will do everything in my power to bring your loved one's killer to justice. You have my heart, my word and my badge on that."