But it's Valentine's
From the beginning of time, since the first little caveman banged the first little cave woman with a club over her head and thus proclaimed true love, February 14th was the one day of the year people went ballistic on and turned back to their roots.
It was genetically inclined in every living being's DNA to crave love; both to give and receive it. However, as years went by and times changed, the methods of celebrating the day of true love and beauty had spiraled like a never-ending DNA line, heading both upwards and downwards. In some centuries, it was a bashful, yet joyous occasion, where the lady would receive a rose and a kiss on the hand, then have something to brag about to all her friends for a whole year. In others, during tough times and wars, it was one of the few things that brought separated families together, with just pieces of red string on simple flowers. In our days, it's a little more like the Stone Age, but more fashionable; we got an update, so to speak. Now we have MALLS.
On top of that, it gets worse. Now girls actually know they're pretty, from the moment they hit age 6.
So basically a holiday meant to show a hint of affection to that special someone had, somehow, over time, turned into a parade of savaging girls, drowning in hearts and make-up, rampaging the streets from store to store and throwing themselves at every boy they could, bashing their lashes and flipping their hair, in hopes of getting more candy, cards, or flowers than any of their other friends. It turned into a "who's bigger than who" contest, as well as a vanity fair, to boos both genders' self-esteem.
When you were the unpopular kid, Valentine 's Day was nothing to look forward to; best case scenario, it was just a day like any other…worst case scenario, it was the day you felt lower than a pile of mold, when no one even glanced your way, or tried to choke out a "Happy uhhhuhhu". If fait would have it, the 14th would also be a school day and you'd have to walk down the corridors of giggling girls and pompous, big-headed guys, all lashing away at eachother. The bathrooms were hard to use, too; some couples wanted privacy. Classes were usually even more difficult than normally, since the teachers were either overwhelmed with joy, thinking about their dinner dates, or extremely pissed and hateful, knowing they'd end the day all alone in front of the tellie.
Tweak was a practical boy. He abused caffeine, he saw little underwear gnomes and a lot of things in life scared him (mostly due to his parents, who freaked him out with every single thing they saw on the news, read on the paper, or heard at work); but despite all his flaws, Tweak was rather smart. It didn't take a genius to figure out how he could get away from it all and pretend, for one year, that Valentine's Day didn't exist at all.
It was early in the morning when he snuck into the kitchen; his mother already up, making breakfast and brewing up the day's fresh badge of coffee. She smiled at her son, who twitched as a response, and stuttered out:
"H-h-happy Valentine's, m-mom…GAH!" just saying the name made him jump upward in horror, but Mrs. Tweak didn't bother with it at all:
"Happy Valentine's day, Tweak. Here, have a good cup of coffee, to start of your lovely day." She offered him a steaming red mug, before pouring some for herself "I remember my childhood Valentine days…you'll need all your strength and energy to keep up with all the other little boys!"
"But mom…ack!...M-mom, don't you think…t-that Valentine's…is…is kinda over-rated?" Tweak questioned, in-between sips of the hot liquid
"Nonsense! Valentine 's Day is the one day of the year when a person can feel truly happy, beautiful and loved, and have a reason for some self-esteem. Why, without Valentine's day…" Mrs. Tweak assumed a trademark commercial position, while explaining "…no one will know if they are truly loved, or if they're not. Valentine's brings us closer together, be it with a nice, pretty flower or a warm, steamy cup of fresh coffee. It is the scale that lets you know if you're truly a loveable person or a loser with no reason to live."
"…t-thanks, mom." Tweak noted, while sipping another cup of coffee, shaking from head to toe, feeling more miserable than ever
"No problem, sweetie. Now then, would you help with breakfast? Your father and I have the whole day planned for just the two of us, to reminisce of our teenage days…I could use a hand." Mrs. Tweak asked, and her twitchy son nodded, as much as he could:
"S-sure mom…bb-but, can I go to the bathroom first, real quick? AH! I…I need to brush my teeth!" his head swung on his left side as he said that, while his mother smiled approvingly:
"Of course. Just try not to wake your father. And when you break something and cause yourself to bleed, or splash tooth-paste in your eyes, just remember-the spirit is in the top drawer, and the towels are at the shower shelf. Also, when you trip in the wet floors and hit your head on the concrete, try to scream really loud, if you're un-able to move. Otherwise, bandages and aspirin are in the medicine cabinet."
"…o-oh-ok, mom…" Tweak walked away, both his eyes shifting in a spasm. He tried very hard to remember where everything was, since his mother was sure he'd get hurt.
"B-but… what if…I hit my head in the sink, or slip and fall face first into the mirror?? GAHHH! I don't know where the face cream is!! I can't go in there!" the nervous boy looked around the corridor, before gulping loudly and tip-toeing inside the bathroom, hoping that toot-paste could stop any possible bleeding.
He looked around the drawers; carefully avoiding the sink and shower, before finally pulling out the one object he was craving for- his mother's red chalk face powder, which she used on her cheeks, so she wouldn't look too yellow from all the caffeine she consumed. Smiling to himself, Tweak gulped down a handful of it, before placing it back in the drawer and rushing away. It was just a matter of time; he was sure of it, since everyone knew that eating raw chalk or potatoes made you sick for at least a day or two. It was the oldest trick in the book.
While on his way back to the kitchen, Tweak felt shaken with worry that he didn't place the powder in the right place, or at the right position. ACK! What if his mom saw that and found out? But he had no time to worry over it, as inside the kitchen, his mother was already preparing strawberry cream pancakes:
"Oh Tweak, you didn't hurt yourself, honey? Today must be your lucky day!"
"M-mom! I feel, I feel a little queasy…" the small boy began, but his mother cut him off:
"You're just hungry. Here, have some more coffee, while you wait for breakfast to be done! Can you help me with those eggs, too?"
Tweak sat at the table, crushing eggs into mushy puddles of goo and shells, cursing the world for delaying his supposed sickness. Maybe it wasn't a true fact, maybe chalk didn't really cause a fever? Maybe seeing green and blue circles all around, while Britney spears danced the cha-cha in a belly-dancer top with Eminem was something he, by now, had been supposed to get used to?
"Oh Tweak! Son, are you alright?" his mother's face appeared before the dancing duo, and a hand was placed on his forehead. The little boy couldn't twitch, scream, or reply at all…he suddenly felt really sleepy, faint, and dizzy.
"You have a fever! Didn't I tell you not to eat snow, or ice, or swallow the liquor in the cherry bomb chocolates? Oh, Tweak…"
"Uggghhh…" the little boy could only say, before he felt himself being lifted in the air, then carried away, somewhere, sometime…
This felt good. He should try being feverish more often…so calm, and everything seemed so happy!
Even the 5th step he usually tripped on all the time now seemed rather friendly. The boy's eyes closed and he drifted off, his cheeks flushing a bright red and his breathing going heavy.
When Tweak opened his eyes, he found himself in bed, in his room, with a big plate of bananas placed on his nightstand, as well as a whole mug of coffee. He looked around and felt like giving himself a high-five. His tiny plan to get out of school and have a happy February 14 had finally worked.
He still felt a little feverish; the room was really hot. His throat was sore and dry, as well as his eyes, so he reached for a banana, hoping it would kill off his thirst. He secretly felt sorry for all the other un-populars in school today, like the ugly kids, or the Damien and Pip. Or Cartman-wait, scratch that last part, Tweak hoped Cartman's day was filled with misery and that he'd end it off crying himself to sleep in his playground basement.
Reaching for another banana, and some coffee, Tweak gave himself a smile in glee. His moment of triumph had to be cut short, however, since his bedroom door opened and his father appeared, then entered the room:
"Tweak? How are you feeling, son?"
"I, uh…aghuhuh…f-fine, dad…" Tweak coughed a little, while trying to mutter his words. He was surprised how awful and deep his voice sounded right now.
"Don't strain yourself, son, you're still very weak. Your tonsils haven't quite healed yet." Mr. Tweak pet his child on the head "You seem to still have a small fever…one of your little friends came by, should I let him in?"
"F-f-friends?...B-but I don't have any….GAH!" Tweak jumped upward in the bed, fearing the worst. It was probably Clyde, or Craig, or some other popular boy, here to gloat and show off pictures of the girls they arranged dates with; or worse, possibly, it could've been Cartman, who actually did get a Valentine card and was planning to spend the whole day in his room, just to mock him and make fun of him.
"He said he wouldn't cause you much trouble, son. Come on, seeing a friendly face is just the thing you'll need to get right back up, healthy as ever…that, and a nice cup of Tweak brand coffee." Mr. Tweak added, before turning over to the door "Come right in, son."
"N-no dad, AHHH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS, DON'T MAKE HIM CO-" Tweak covered himself with his blankets, while a friendly, familiar voice greeted him from what sounded like a very near distance:
"Hey Tweak! Dude, how are you? Feeling any better now?"
The blonde boy gulped under his covers, before trying to decipher the voice. It definitely didn't sound like Cartman…or Clyde and Craig, for that matter…if anything, it sounded like…
"Kyle??" Tweak rose his head up from the sheets, only to face his smarty green-hat classmate
"I'll leave you kids alone. Would you like some coffee, Kyle?" Mr. Tweak offered, while the Jewish boy declined:
"No thanks, Mr. Tweak, I'm good." The head of the household left and the two young boys turned to eachother, one seeming a tad worried, while the other was completely spastic:
"W-w-hy're you here??? Did Cartman set you up?? How much money did Token pay?? Gah!!! ACK!!" Tweak seemed trembling, while Kyle was very confused:
"Dude! I just came over to give you your homework and see how you're doing. I told you to lay off that stuff." Kyle took the mug of coffee away from Tweak's reach, before adding "What would Token pay me money for?"
"Valentine's, man!!! They're after me, it's spreading, all around!! All the love, all the chocolates, all the little paper cards with angels on them! I just can't take it!!" Tweak shivered and twitched uncontrollably, while Kyle raised an eyebrow:
"Is that what all of this is? Did you fake being sick so you'd get out of celebrating Valentine's day?"
"No man! I ate a whole badge of my mom's chalk powder, and now, you're here, and AH!" he gulped, feeling his throat hurt. Tweak had a lot more to say, but his breath had left him, so he just shook under the covers, holding his neck. Kyle's eyes grew wide:
"Dude!! Are you crazy?? Chalk powder isn't made out of that type of chalk!"
"W-wh-..then what is it made of???"
"Chemicals! I hardly have a clue which ones, exactly, but they're not for eating! You poisoned yourself, Tweak, you could've been dead!" Kyle exclaimed, sitting on the edge of his friend's bed "How could you do that??"
"That's easy for you to say!! AGG! Y-you probably got tons of Valentine's, and dates, and g-girls all swoon all over you!!" Tweak defended himself, feeling rather stupid. He should've just snuck a raw potato from the kitchen instead. Kyle shook his head, almost in shock:
"Dude, it's just a stupid holiday!"
"H-how did you feel when YOU thought you were ugly??"
"Who says you are??"
"I have none! NONE!!" Tweak trembled, clutching his covers "A-and everyone, yourself included, were all gonna rip on me!! What else could I've done???"
"Tweak…" Kyle sighed, before placing a hand on the other boy's knee "You could've gotten some, if you showed up…"
"N-no way, man! I never get any, ever!! It's the same, every year…girls all ignoring me, guys laughing…I can't take that pressure, man, I can't!!" the little coffee lover shook his head firmly, trying to gasp for air. Kyle eyed him sadly, before resting his elbows on his legs:
"But you did have someone this year…"
"I NEVER KISSED PATTY NELSON!"
"No, we…we went to that movie, remember? I asked you out?" Kyle blinked, before shaking his head once more
"W-what?? You…what??" for once, Tweak couldn't even twitch. He stared at the Jewish boy, who sighed once more:
"Think, Tweak…we went to the movies…"
"B-but you never said that was asking me out!"
"The next day we hung out at Shakey's…"
"We were just hungry!!"
"We've been hanging out for weeks?" Kyle tried, while his classmate still seemed oblivious:
"I t-thought Stan had football practice and Kenny was dead!"
Kyle tried his best to hold back a laugh; normally, he would feel offended, but this was actually a little cute:
"….I kissed you a few times, back in the park."
"I thought that was a Jewish thing!! Jews always kiss!!" Tweak began trembling once more, while Kyle stared at him in a puzzle:
"…uh…no, Tweak, we don't. "
Tweak was staring at Kyle with a dumbfound expression, while coughing a little bit. Kyle just sighed and pat him on the hip:
"Here; maybe this'll help." He reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a tiny card, which he handed to the spiky-haired boy. With trembling fingers, Tweak took it, still scared out of his mind:
"What's this?? Did Cartman write a mock for me?"
"Just read it, Tweak, it's ok. I promise." Kyle assured him, shifting himself more comfortably in the bed
The blonde examined the card carefully; it looked pretty well made, with little hearts and a small angel on it, holding a flute.
"T-this looks like a Valentine!" Tweak concluded
"Uh-huh."
"Is this yours?"
"It's got your name on it; my name's shorter by a letter." Kyle pointed out, resting his head on his hand, while observing the other boy's actions. Tweak seemed almost in shock:
"Someone made me a Valentine????"
"Yup."
The blonde gulped, before screaming and jumping up, as high as he possibly could, voice turning from heavy and deep, to a squeaky screech:
"ACKKK!! IT'S A TRAP! THEY'VE TRICKED ME! THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO GET ME!"
"Calm down, dude. Why don't you just read it?" Kyle had fallen backwards on the bed, surprised at the kid's dramatic reaction. Tweak shook his head firmly, feeling his whole body curling in a spasm:
"I'm not reading this!!! What if it's a bomb?? Or a smoking gas ink??"
Kyle had to try really hard not to laugh. He didn't want to hurt Tweak's feelings:
"How could a bomb fit in a piece of paper, Tweak?"
"It's poison!!"
"Why don't you at least see who's it from?" Kyle suggested, while pushing Tweak back on the bed, in an effort to keep him calm "I'll read too, and touch it…so if it's deadly, it'll kill me, too."
"I don't want you to die! THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!! WHO'S THIS FROM??" the other boy shrieked, while Kyle calmly pat his shoulder lightly:
"You won't know unless you read it."
Thinking it over, Tweak didn't seem to feel brave enough to read through the card. Instead, he turned his gaze to Kyle and gulped slightly:
"It's probably a joke, man. A trick, so they'd make me come out today. I'm not coming out!!! GAHHH!"
"But how could you do this to yourself…" Kyle clicked his tongue with disapproval, before wrapping an arm around Tweak's shoulders "Why not go out?"
"But it's Valentine's day!!! I can't!!"
"You got a card, right?"
"I CAN'T!!"
"Tweak…"
"It's torture, it's social failure torture!!!"
"Tweak."
"I'd-ddd rather shove a whole badge of that chalk thing and stay locked up for a-"
"TWEEK! Calm. Down." Kyle scoffed, then sighed deeply "Calm down. Do you even know how Valentine's day started?"
"I-iiii t-think it was…Cupid?" Tweak searched his brain, while Kyle corrected him:
"No. See, there's a story behind that, too."
"Iii-I don't like scary stories. Is it a good story? I don't think I'd handle anyone being sad. Or happy. Or dead."
"Tweak, just hear it out, I'll tell it to ya real short." Kyle promised, covering them both with the blanket "See, it was about a boy and a girl, who were in love…"
"GAH!"
"The girl's name was Valentina, and the boy was called Valentine." The Jew began his tale "But neither knew of the affection of the other…Valentina often dreamed about Valentine, but was sure that he would never notice her. He was very handsome and popular…"
"A-and then what?" Tweak seemed to calm down a little; Kyle smiled at this and hugged him a little closer:
"On February 14th, she decided to take a chance. She wrote him a letter, just a piece of paper, saying "Will you be mine, Valentine?" then sent it to him, but on the way, the paper got a little damaged, some edges were shred and it turned a slight pinkish color. Valentine got it and thought it was very sweet. He liked her too, all along, so he responded by making her a card, coloring it pink and in an un-orthodox shape, thinking that was the whole idea all along."
"S-so…they got married and had kids, or what?" Tweak questioned, while the Jew finished:
"Dunno dude, but they ended up together, the story ends here. See, Tweak, Valentine's day isn't about getting the most presents…it's about taking a chance and showing that one person you care about how much you like them. It's a day to be brave and let your feelings go out on the open." Kyle explained, nodding at himself "So poisoning yourself and locking up in your room just sucks, dude. What would Valentina think?"
"….did Valentina from 3d grade sent me the card?"
"…no. But you can still read it. You're brave enough, right?"
Tweak looked at the pretty card once more, feeling his stomach twist. His hands trembled a little, while he flipped it open, but then quickly glanced back at Kyle:
"But…"
"Go on, dude, it's not gonna swallow you."
Tweak read the simple, yet touching words, and his eyes grew three times the size, as every letter processed his mind. Once he finally reached the end, he gasped in shock, before jumping up at Kyle:
"You???"
"Hi." The Jewish boy gave him a little wave, while adjusting his hat a little
"GAHH!! You…is this…??? Ack!!"
"I've never really wrote one before." Kyle admitted, a little unsure "I hope it turned out alright…I didn't wan-"
"YOU LIKE ME???" Tweak screamed out, reaching out for his coffee cup by instinct "But…but!!!"
"I do. I thought it was pretty clear, at least recently." The Jewish boy blinked, staring at Tweak, taken a little aback "You…I'm sorry if I didn't-"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME??" Tweak pounced off the bed, clutching his hair in a fit of fury "I WOULDN'T HAVE ALMOST DIED IF I KNEW I'D GET ONE, MAN!!"
"Wasn't kissing you six times clue enough?" Kyle questioned, feeling a tad foolish himself. He thought Tweak liked him back and was beginning to feel a little doubtful and down; still, whatever made his crush felt happy…at least now he knew he got at least one card.
"MAN!!" Tweak fumed around the room in a hysterical panic, before grabbing Kyle by the hand and dragging him towards the door "W-we're both so stupid!!"
"Um…" Kyle didn't even bother to ask
"We have to celebrate Valentine's, right now! What time is it???"
"Um, Tweak." Kyle stopped his friend at the door, almost feeling sorry for what he was about to say "Valentine's day is over."
"WHAT??"
"Yeah dude! You were out in a fever for almost two days now…it's the 16th." Kyle stated, looking down with pity "Sorry. I wanted you to come, so I'd give you this in person…happy Valentine's?"
Tweak stopped in his tracks and stared blankly for several seconds, before finally exploding:
"ACKKK! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!"
"I guess I should-" Tweak grabbed Kyle by the hand and hugged him tightly, before screaming, practically in his ear:
"NOW IT'LL BE A WHOLE YEAR BEFORE I CAN MAKE YOU ONE!"
"Tweak, I ju-"
"AND WE WON'T EAT CANDY, OR CELEBRATE, OR DO ANY OF THAT STUFF!! I HATE THIS!! I NEED MY COFFEE!" he swooshed away and reached for the mug, while Kyle stopped him, by hugging him from behind:
"It doesn't have to be the 14th to do something together."
"B-but what about celebrating??? That's so unfair!!" Tweak stated, while Kyle turned him around and smiled:
"We can have our own Valentine's day, whenever you want!"
Tweak stared at the Jew's bright green eyes and felt a blush form his cheek, while gulping, yet strangely, no longer twitching and trembling:
"T-that would be…"
"Too much pressure?"
Tweak smiled and rested his head on Kyle's shoulder, before answering:
"That'd sound awesome, man…"
"Cool." The Jew exclaimed brightly, while hugging the blonde "So, if we are gonna do that…will I have to explain that pretty much anything we'd do won't be a Jewish tradition?"
"I-I think I'll figure it out…" Tweak tip-toed and brushed his lips closer to Kyle's, before:
"AGHUHUGHH!" a coughing fit made him drop on his knees, while Kyle jumped backwards, wiping his face:
"Sick, dude!"
"I'm sorry!! Oh God, I'm so terribly sorry!!!" Tweak reached for his hair once more, before looking around for a napkin "I didn't mean to!! It's this flue, I can't stop coughing and my throat's gone nuts!!"
"That's ok, Tweak." Kyle couldn't help but laugh, before flopping on his bed and cleaning his face with a nearby left towel "So…until you get better…you wanna tell me why, exactly, you thought Valentine's was so scary to begin with?"
"E-everyone was gonna get some…" Tweak explained, sitting himself next to Kyle "A-and I thought…"
"Most guys didn't get any. It wouldn't have been a big deal." Kyle hugged him lazily, before feeling his eyes grow heavy "Dude, now I think I've got a fever…"
"I just hope my parents don't see us…"
"How come?"
"They'll think I poisoned you and sent me in suspension! I don't like the asylum!! Too bright!! Ack!" he twitched a little and Kyle laughed once more, before exhaling peacefully:
"I really like you…I'm sorry you didn't even catch on sooner."
"I'm sorry I never made you a card…it would've been…t-tterrible, ACK!" Tweak could only picture himself covered in glue and sparkle, while working on a first ever Valentine's card
"There's always next year."
For a moment, the blonde gazed over at Kyle, who was staring at the wall in deep thought, possibly about his homework, or the next big adventure he'd have to endure with his three friends. A little unsure, Tweak kissed Kyle's cheek very lightly, before shouting as loud as he could:
"MOM!! D-DAD!! I'M GOING OUT!!"
He could hear his mother ask from the staircase, while making her way to his room:
"Why, son? Are you feeling better?"
"Because!-ACK!....It's Valentine's day!" the little boy explained simply, before dragging Kyle up once more "And I think…I think I might actually have fun this year."