The Love of a Queen
Author's Note: I know there are probably many stories along similar lines out there. I wanted to start with my own interpretation of Elsa and the sisterly dynamic she shares with Anna. What has always amazed me is the depth of love in Elsa's heart, and I wanted so badly to write something that would capture the essence of it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and would like to add that this will be the baseline for any future stories I write with Elsa as the main figure.
Love. True love. What do you know about true love?
What did Elsa know about love? She may have asked her sister what she could have possibly known about true love during the party following her coronation, but the question, in a way, should have applied to its owner. At the time, Anna retorted that all Elsa knew was how to shut other people out. Such a rebuke from her sister did sting, but there was truth to the statement.
What kind of love did Elsa show to Anna after thirteen years of loneliness and separation? Thirteen years of closed doors, no answers, pent-up frustrations, and bitter tears? All that time, not once did Elsa open her door to her little sister; not once did she bother to explain why she kept her door locked and pushed away the one person who consistently tried to reach out to her. Some love. She should have stayed locked away, or up on the North Mountain and lived out a life of splendid isolation. As she once said, she may have been alone but at least she was "alone and free". Better to live a lonely existence than to force someone to endure a lifetime of heartbreak with no explanation of why.
After all, Elsa had already considered herself a monster. She had spent so long hiding her true self, repeating that mantra so often it became essential to her survival. Conceal, don't feel. Don't show your powers. Don't show weakness. Hide your emotions. Be calm and composed. Be a good girl. If she was going to be queen, she needed to put on a display of regal sophistication and stoicism. As if controlling her magic – no, her curse – wasn't hard enough. She was going to rule a kingdom. And the deaths of her parents only pushed the burden onto her shoulders even sooner. Elsa did not feel ready at the time of their funeral; she still didn't feel completely prepared by the time of her coronation. She was terrified, struggling to accept the responsibility thrust upon her while simultaneously containing her growing powers. When it burst open – and her secret revealed – her worst fears were confirmed. Not only did she plunge her kingdom into an eternal winter, but she also hurt Anna again. This time, it did kill her.
What power do you have to stop this winter? To stop me?
Nothing could have stopped the winter from happening. Nothing could have stopped Elsa from hurting Anna again. No matter how far she ran, no matter how hard she tried to conceal, no matter what she did the past always came back to haunt her. She had a curse and could not stop it.
What did Elsa know about love?
More than she would have admitted at first.
You sacrificed yourself for me?
I love you.
Love saved Elsa. Love from her sister. Love that seemed to defy logic. How could Anna possibly love her after everything she had been through? After all those years? Because Elsa was worth it. Worth waiting for thirteen years and still hoping to just speak to her. Waiting for the chance to stand by her side. Hoping to one day see her room and be let in. Anna showed that day on the fjord something Elsa could only have dreamed: she loved her big sister so much she would rather die than go on living in a world without her.
And only after the Thaw did Elsa realize just how much love she had all along. It was how she managed to remove the eternal winter so easily. The curse had blanketed Arendelle in ice and snow, the manifestation of Elsa's fears and anxieties. Yet in a matter of seconds, she removed every patch of snow and ice, restoring summer to the land, even bringing the flowers back in full bloom. She did not stop to think that day of how it happened or why. All she knew was that love gave her the ability to control her magic, to focus her energy such that her wintry magic could be removed with a flick of the wrist.
And right now, a few weeks after the Thaw, she found herself asking that question again.
What did she know about love?
That she loved Anna. With all her heart.
She loved Anna so much she was willing – perhaps too willing – to give up a normal existence if that was what it took to keep her sister safe. She valued Anna's life and safety so much more than her own.
Only recently did Anna share what Olaf had said to her in the library when she said she did not know what love is: Love is putting someone else's needs before yours. When Elsa heard that, she felt an immense wave of gratitude for her little snowman, both for being there for Anna during her moment of need and for the incredible amount of wisdom his statement contained. She realized that putting Anna's safety first – even at the cost of her own well-being – was an act of love in its own way. She may have neglected their relationship by shutting her sister out, but it was not out of hate or anger.
I love my sister, Elsa thought. Not loved, LOVE. Always have, always will.
She had longed for her sister during the isolation, yearning for some familial contact or reassurance that everything was going to be all right. Though she would deny it, Elsa always wanted Anna back in her life. It was that hope – no matter how remote – that kept her going through her darkest days. The hope that one day she would be with Anna, her power until control, and they would enjoy each other's company for as long as they wanted.
Which brought her back to the present moment. Elsa was lying on her bed, her gaze directed toward the ceiling as she was lost in her thoughts. It was late in the evening and she had returned to her room after another long day of carrying out her duties as queen. There was work she could have done before retiring, but something kept her from doing so. A certain, red-haired someone.
Elsa let her gaze drift down toward the top of her sister's head. A warm smile blossomed as she took in the sight of Anna lying next to her, one arm draped across her waist in a gentle but firm hug. Elsa's arms were likewise situated around her little sister; her right arm held on to Anna's waist, while her left was tucked under Anna's head with her hand placed over her hair. She gently stroked her sister's hair, which earned a pleased murmur from the latter. Anna nuzzled closer to her big sister, rather remarkable given their already close proximity. In return, Elsa bent her head ever so slightly to place a tender kiss on Anna's forehead. A wide grin appeared on Anna's face, and it wasn't just from the kiss she had received.
Some time after the Thaw – neither sister could remember when – Elsa had realized that there was something she could do whenever Anna was afraid or upset in any way. Not that Anna was prone to the kind of anxiety Elsa was familiar with, but even a brave soul like the princess of Arendelle was no stranger to nightmares. Deep down, what bothered Anna the most was the prospect of Elsa disappearing from her life, whether that meant leaving her for the North Mountain or locking herself in her room again or…dying. When Elsa understood this, she made sure to tell Anna one simple truth: her big sister would never leave her again. On this particular day, Elsa was confronted by her sister's fears about losing her again. Heartbroken by the distraught look on her beloved sister's face – something she had been spared during those years alone – she brought Anna into her room, lay down on her bed, and brought Anna's head close to her chest.
"What do you hear?" Elsa asked as she placed her sister's right ear over the left side of her chest.
"Your heart," Anna replied shakily after a few seconds. She had unconsciously relaxed ever so slightly at those words, and Elsa noticed.
"Yes," Elsa said, letting her feelings guide her words for once. "This heart is still beating. Beating because of you. Beating for you. You are everything to me, Anna. You are the reason…I am still alive." She choked up at the thought of how close she came to death but continued, "You have always held a place in my heart, the center of my heart. I love you so, so much."
At that point she had to stop because the tears were leaking from her eyes. Anna was sniffling and trying her best not to dissolve into a bawling mess, though tears were coursing down her cheeks as well. Overcome with emotion, her veins filled with love, Elsa pressed her sister's ear closer to the place over her heart, desperate to provide the comfort she had longed to give all those years.
Now, both sisters were much calmer and more relaxed. As Elsa pulled back from kissing Anna's forehead, she took in how happy her sister looked being right by her side. The steady, strong beat of her heart had gradually erased the tears, replacing sadness with a profound bonding that only these two understood. The love of the queen pulsed with each heartbeat as a reminder that she loved Anna, more than anything in the world. That was a reassurance beyond words, beyond any action Elsa could have ever conceived. It brought such joy to Anna's face and peace to Elsa's, something she had not experienced for a very long time.
Elsa knew love. She had battled her own demons and survived because she loved. She was a respected queen because she loved and showed it to her people. But it was this moment – one that was bound to be repeated in the future – that captured the essence of her greatest love. The love of her sister, her hero and savior, her right hand and best friend. As Elsa closed her eyes, taking in the warmth of her beloved sister and nuzzling her cheek against the top of Anna's head, she hummed contentedly at the sensation of showing her love so freely and willingly. Here she could be the big sister she always wanted to be, the one that Anna deserved. By holding her close to her heart, she not only reminded Anna of her presence, but reminded herself about the power of love. The power to overcome her worst thoughts, to silence her inner demons, to control a powerful magic even she did not always understand.
With that, Elsa allowed herself to fall blissfully into a state of utter joy and peace, awash in the sensation of pure, true love. Holding her sister close to her heart, she finally felt free.