Hello dears!

Welcome to one of my two entry for Poker Pair Week 2018! This is a sequel to Journey of our Heart, however in the sense that it is one of the possible future after the end of Journey. So while it means Journey is a prequel to this, Heart in Grief is not the sole canon for sequel events. Especially as it center on only one of events that I can see Tyki and Allen eventually facing (and even though this treat of one event, Heart of Grief is not even the "canon" version of how it happens, just the one I chose to portray for this week, one of the possible ways).

This story will follow the overall theme of 7 stage of Grief, with one chapter for each stage. As such, I don't expect the story to be as long as Journey. Some chapters might be longer, or shorter, depending how much I write for the corresponding stage.
Also, just saying this straight up, the ending of Heart in Grief will be open (like Journey's one was) and also hopeful! So feels will be soothed~

Full summary because I wrote one more sentence on AO3: Grief is an emotion Allen knows well. It is an emotion that haunted him, not once, but twice. And yet, for a third time, grief hit him, alongside all its stage. And the irony of it all, is that for a third time, Mana is at the center of his grief.
Alone the first time, given a purpose the second time, can Tyki give Allen love this third time? Can they find hope in the truth?
(This is one of the possible future/sequel for Journey of Our Hearts!)
[Written for Poker Pair Week 2018!]

I hope you enjoy, and thank you pokerpairweek for hosting the event!

Heart in Grief

Disbelief

Tyki knew that this day would come. From the moment he stayed with Allen and never parted from him again, sending words that he was watching over the Fourteenth, he knew the Earl would eventually come to him. Tyki was amazed that Sheryl hadn't shown up before, no doubt his brother had been less then happy, probably claiming Allen had stolen yet another of his family.

Tyki internally snorted. You got that right, Allen stole my heart.

Part of him had hoped that maybe the Earl accepted Tyki's decision in a silent manner; but in the end, the only surprise he felt at seeing the first apostle was the timing. Certainly, waking up with a still sleeping Allen in his arms, and his leader sitting on a log close to the dying fire, it would surprise anyone.

However, what truly shocked Tyki, would be that the Earl had chosen to not wear his suit. And what made Tyki unsure, almost sceptic of the Earl's intentions, was the blankness of the older man's stare, fixed on the white hairs of the head that rested pressed to Tyki's chest.

"… Earl." Tyki greeted softly, almost hesitant, unconsciously tightening his arms around Allen.

The Earl moved his gaze to meet Tyki's, and the Noah of Pleasure felt even more thrown off as the man's expression grew… soft?

"Tyki-pon~ Is this why you haven't come see your family in a while?" The Earl sniffed. "Is he more important than us?"

Tyki tensed, but before he could speak, a sleepy voice cut in. "Don't tease Tyki, dad."

Tyki and the Earl both stared at Allen, but the young man didn't seem to be awake. Or well, Tyki knew Allen was waking, but certainly not yet functionning properly. Indeed, Allen finally opened his eyes, blinking up at Tyki, before shifting his gaze.

Allen blinked at the grey skinned and golden eyed Earl, the Earl blinked back, tilting his head in curiosity which made the row of stigmatas stand out even more, and then Allen's eyes widened. He sat up, making both Tyki and the Earl startle a bit, and Allen opened his mouth to speak, but no sound left him except a sort of dying whine that Tyki interpreted as an utter lack of knowing what to feel.

Tyki wrapped an arm around Allen's waist, pushing him against his chest, and his free hand petting Allen's hairs. The younger man snapped his gaze up, the depth of how lost and vulnerable those silver eyes were making Tyki draw in a sharp breath. Had Allen recognized the Millenium Earl then?

But why such an extreme reaction?

Allen nuzzled back into Tyki's before he looked back at the Earl with a look that could only be described as the look of a lost child. The look changed to something almost broken as the golden eyes resting on him seemed to have grown soft again.

"My dear fourteenth-"

"Allen." Allen cut in sharply, but almost desperately.

The Earl flinched back, gaze growing confused. His heart clenched, and almost like a scolded child, he mumbled, "Isn't it the same?"

It was Allen's turn to flinch, and Tyki hugged him tighter, with both arms. Timcanpy had fluttered to sit on Allen's shoulder, nuzzling his neck. The Noah of Pleasure looked into the Earl's eyes, replying softly, "Am I Joyd or Tyki?"

Understanding seemed to pass in the Earl's gaze, while Allen just stared at the man, seeming unable to do anything else now. The Earl smiled at Allen, who drew in a breath, feeling himself swallow down tears.

"Allen. Take care of Tyki-pon, will you?"

Tyki was shocked, he had never thought that the Earl might, in fact, so easily accept that Tyki wanted to stay with Allen. Had he come only to see with his own eyes how Tyki had been doing? To see how Allen was doing?

His shock seemed small compared to Allen's one, though. All Allen could say was, "I-what?"

The Earl chuckled, though there was something… sad in his gaze. "Tyki-pon will hate me if I try to take him back, or maybe even more if I try to take you with us." The way Tyki's body tensed confirmed those words, for both Allen who sensed it and the Earl who saw it. "I don't want my family to hate me." He looked at Allen, almost through Allen, who still seemed so lost on what to feel. "And you would hate me even more, too."

Allen was just too shocked, too lost, to give any sort of reply. Was the Earl giving a blessing to Tyki and he? Was he really choosing to let them travel off, just so they would not hate him?

Those were also Tyki's questions, but at the same time, Tyki didn't feel as surprised. For all the Earl seemed to place the Noahs as pieces on a chessboard, there was no denying the love of the first apostle for his clan. Yet, what still shocked Tyki was how easy it felt.

He would worry about a ploy, a test; but the Earl's gaze was too genuine. More than Tyki had ever seen.

And if Tyki was honest, it was the first time he was seeing the Earl so… calm. At peace, almost. With how the Earl had never stopped looking at Allen, Tyki felt that it was all thanks to the young man.

Sadly, Tyki could tell the same couldn't be said for Allen. While the Earl seemed so at peace with Allen's presence, Allen looked as if the ground had been taken from under his feet. The Earl seemed to notice too, because with a sight, he stood up.

"You are both welcome to go home when you desire to. Tyki-pon knows how to contact me. I would like you two to be safe at home." He tipped his hat down, chuckling. "But it seemed it isn't yet the time. Take care, Tyki, Allen."

And with those words, a black gate appeared under his feet, the Earl being swallowed down.

Tyki and Allen both stared at where the Earl had been standing. Then, Tyki felt Allen's frame starting to tremble, and when he glanced, Tyki felt half panicked as tears were now flowing from Allen's eyes, frame shaking even more.

Tyki was quick to turn Allen, to hug him to his chest, petting down his hair and back with sushing sounds. Allen started to cry for real, sobs that made Tyki's own eyes a bit misty and his heart clenching, and when Allen started to brokenly mumble, Tyki felt he both had an answer and even more confusion.

"Mana… Mana… Why… Why was he Mana?"

To be continued…

Note: I wanted to clear this right away, but there was indeed hints that something happened in Adam/Mana's mind. I would say he doesn't outright recall being Mana, but considering this is also based on my headcanons and canonverse au, let's say Mana does surface for a bit, but not fully. Also, Adam/Mana was indeed teasing Tyki, and that's why Allen says what he says when he wakes, he unconsciously recognize Mana's way of teasing (which is why he says dad).
And, yes, it is Allen's presence that allowed Mana to surface, if aided by Adam/Mana's own fatherly instinct.

On another note, the whole Joyd/Tyki is because Tyki is awakened now fully, but he still try to keep a certain degree of his own self separated to Joyd, and Tyki is the Noah that has this separaration the most. So by saying what he says, he basically tell Adam/Mana that Allen is the same, that he should not be fully mixed with the Fourteenth. And to be honest, that's also when Tyki subtly let Adam/Mana know that Tyki is trying to help Allen keep this duality, be the Fourteenth and Allen both.
However, Adam/Mana does accept for them to continue travelling for the reason he said: he doesn't want them to hate him for forcefully bringing them home. And as Tyki guessed, Adam/Mana was worried and wanted to check on them both (he was a bit worried Tyki was drifting away too, but he genuinely felt worry for both).