Star Wars Swear Words Glossary

Kriff: F***

Stang: Damn

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Corran Horn poured his friend another drink. "Sooo what do you think of my idea?"

Luke, slumped down slightly in his seat, looked at Corran through bleary eyes.

"What idea?"

"Oh, c'mon…Don't tell me you haven't contemplated it?"

He poured himself a shot of Corellian Brandy.

The Grand Master frown.

"Horn…stop talking in riddles and spit it out. I have no idea in the Nine Corellian Hells what you're talking about."

"What Valin mentioned."

Luke stared at him, still confused.

"About my girl Jysella and your boy Ben."

Luke did his best to roll his eyes. He failed miserably.

"You're not serious, Corran."

"I am serious."

"That's ridiculous." Luke stated and grabbed his mug of hot chocolate.

"Why not? Your boy has a crush on my girl, so why not?"

"I said, it was ridiculous."

"No, think about it. We could be in-laws someday."

Luke made a face.

"I don't think that would work out."

Corran made one in return. "And why in the black void not!"

"Simple. One Corellian in the family is all I can take."

His friend scoffed, his slurring very evident. "That's the lamest excuse ever." He threw back the brandy and then slammed it back down. "You really have to think of something better than THAT."

"Oh, come now, Corran. You and me in-laws. The Skywalkers and the Horns."

"Don't you want grandchildren?"

"Not any time soon, no."

"You're better off with some now." He smirked. "Before you get too feeble to play with them."

"There's nothing wrong with me!" Luke erupted, slamming his own mug down.

"Sure is! Your brains obviously rotted in your old age!" He puffed out his chest. "My Jysella is perfect for Ben. They get along very well don't they?"

"That's because Jysella sees Ben as a little brother, you know that."

"No, Valin said Ben hit on her."

Luke sighed heavily. Arguing with a Corellian was tiresome and fruitless, he thought to himself.

"Ben's still taking Vestara's betrayal bad…he wouldn't even be trying to form another relationship at this point."

"And why not?" Corran leapt to his feet, stumbling slightly. He used his hands to brace himself on the table. "You saying somethin's wrong with my girl?"

The Grand Master, indignant, staggered to his own feet. "Now, you're putting words in my mouth."

"No, I'm stating the truth." He stumbled grabbing the back of his chair to keep himself from falling. "YOU think my girl's not good enough for your boy."

"Oh, now, you're just being a blowhard. Your blasted Corellian ego getting in the way!"

"Then what…"

"She's-she's too old for Ben."

"That's your argument!" Corran said incredulously. "Too old." He pursed his lips. "I bet if he was older that wouldn't be problem."

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"The old double standard." He waved his hand around carelessly. "You think you of all people, wouldn't stoop so low as to use that."

Luke rolled his eyes. "That is beside the point."

"What is the point then? Oh, right, you think my girl's not good enough."

"And once again you're wrong."

"I'm not. Plus I think they'd have some nice kids."

"Kids…Are you listening to yourself?"

"Well, unlike some people I want grandchildren."

Luke snorted. "You know, usually the father is a little more resistant with his daughter."

"You're boy's a good catch so why not?"

"And here you said that I thought my son was too good for your daughter."

"No, you said that. Personally, Ben is a very intelligent young man…"

Luke remained quiet for a bit.

"Luke?"

"Jysella is a very intelligent young lady—and a great Jedi Knight." He conceded.

"Thank you."

"And very beautiful."

"And?"

"What more can I say?"

"She has more attributes than that."

"Oh, come on now. Can't we drop this?" He asked, exasperated.

"Not until you name some more things."

"I am not going any further with this."

"Fine." The Corellian plopped back down in his chair.

"Plus," Luke said after awhile "The thought of having Booster Terrik as an in-law is…."

Corran grinned.

"Is?"

Luke frowned. "No, I'm not even going to finish that."

"Oh, c'mon." Corran poured more liqueur into Luke's hot chocolate. "You can't stop there..."

"No." Luke hedged stubbornly.

"You're such a hard-head."

"And you're an egoist."

A voice interjected into their conversation: "What are you doing?"

Corran and Luke turned drunkenly and stared at Valin Horn.

He looked down at the decanter of brandy sitting on the table and at his father's empty shot glass.

"You're drunk." He exclaimed wide-eyed. He then glanced at the man who was the leader of the Jedi Order. "What have you done!"

Corran tilted his head. "What?"

"He's drunk." Valin gestured toward Luke. "How could you-?" He sighed, slightly disgusted and turned around. "Mom and Grandpa Booster have got to see this." He grinned.

"Now, don't go gettin' your mother." Corran protested and attempted to rise, but flopped back down for his efforts.

Valin left the room without as much as a backward glance.

"Aw, geez…Mirax is like a nexu."

Luke took a drink of his brandy-laced hot chocolate.

"You should count yourself lucky, Horn." He said snippily. "At least you have Mirax. Never take her for granted."

Corran winced.

Yes, wives were a sore subject with his friend—having lost his wife several years earlier due to machinations of his Jedi-turned-Sith nephew, Jacen Solo.

"You know what I would give to have Mara with me." Tears entered his voice. "Anything, Corran..."

"Stang." He swore.

Just then Mirax Terrik-Horn and Booster Terrik entered, led by his son, Valin. "See what did I tell you-"

"Stang." Corran swore again.

"Why is he crying?" Valin demanded. He turned to his mother, "He was not crying. Drunk, but not crying."

"Corran Horn, what did you do?" Mirax demanded to know, hands propped on her hips.

"Eh..."

"Eh, is not an answer, Corran."

Booster grunted. "What can I say? Just as I told you, darling, your husband is an idiot. Grown man, getting the Grand Master of the Order stinkin' drunk. Shameful."

"Now, just one second, Booster!" Corran lurched to his feet. "Don't you go pinnin' this all on me." He stabbed a finger in Luke's direction. "It's his fault."

Booster rolled his eyes. "Oh, really. Now, what could our benevolent Grand Master done to deserve getting drunk?"

"If he would just admit—the hard-head—that his son would be lucky to kiss the ground Jysella walked on, I wouldn't have needed to get him drunk."
Luke actually snorted. "You got me drunk WAY before we started having that idiotic conversation."

"Are you calling me an idiot, Skywalker?" Corran slurred.

He turned his head away. "I'm not going to even dignify that with an answer." He said dismissively.

Valin, Booster, and Mirax looked on in astonishment. Mirax had never seen her husband act so pig-headed, while Booster couldn't recall Luke Skywalker to ever be so cantankerous. Valin was beside himself.

"What in Palpatine's black bones is going on in here?" called out Jysella Horn.

She entered the room, pushing past her mother, grandfather, and brother.

Jysella took in the sight.

"Dad? Master Skywalker?"

Corran hiccupped.

"Hey, sweetheart."

She narrowed her eyes. "What have you been up to?" He looked at Luke, noticing the way the Grand Master's eyes were unfocused. "Why is he drunk?"

"Well, ya see..."

"Save it, Dad!"

"If you'd just let me explain…See…Luke and I were having a spirited debate about your future."

"My future?"

Luke spoke up, "Oh, is that what it's called now?"
"Shut it, Skywalker, no one asked you!" He sniped back.

Luke propped a hand against his cheek. "Oh, go blow it out your exhaust nacelle, Horn."

Jysella's jaw dropped. Now, she'd heard and seen everything! She shook her head.

"I can't believe how you two idiots are behaving!" She said loudly. "You're Jedi Masters for kriff's sake."

"Jysella.." Mirax exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, Mom, but they're both behaving like testosterone driven males having a pissing contest." She frowned unhappily, arms crossed over her chest. "I expect better from both of them…But Master Skywalker especially!"

"It's hardly his fault."

She ignored her mother. "Dad…next time you want to get yourself drunk and have a stupid argument over who I'm going to marry, DON'T. I told you Ben and I are just friends. He's like my little brother."

"What's going on in here?' another voice inquired.

Ben Skywalker pushed his way through the crowd and goggled at the sight before him. "What's going on?" He turned to his father. "Dad?"

"You dad and mine started to have a "debate" over whether we're going to marry."

"Oh."

"They're both loony." She flipped her hand. "You deal with them, I'm too disgusted." Jysella stormed off.

"Sella!" Valin called after his sister. He threw a backward glance to the two inebriated Masters and followed after her.

"Wow," Ben laughed. "This is…"

"It's not funny at all." Mirax was made out of steel.

"Sure it is." He snickered. "This deserves to be holo-recorded." He tossed her a mischievous smile. "It's not every day you see my dad fall-down drunk."

"I have kept on my feet, thank you." Luke stated.

Ben looked his father over, eying the mug. "You keep drinking whatever you've been swilling and that'll change real quick..."

He walked over and held out his arm.

"What's that?"

Ben rolled his eyes. "It's an arm, Dad. I'm trying to help you up."

Luke frowned.

"You need to sleep this off, before you fall asleep in the dining hall."

His father seemed to think about this for a moment.

"You don't want to the students to see you, do you?"

"Of course not."

"Then..." Ben tucked his shoulder under his father's under arm. "Up we go." He slowly hauled Luke to his feet, the Jedi Master stumbling a bit. "Stang, Dad! Dead weight much? Help out."

"Good luck."Corran poured himself another shot.

"Shut it, Corran," Mirax snapped. "This is your entire fault."

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A/N: *chuckles* Oh boy…well hope you enjoyed that..you know what to do if you did.