Epic Rap Battles of History

Reaper

VS.

Nightcrawler

Begin!

Reaper: Introductions are a waste so I'll spare you the time,

but I'll kill you anyway so might as well do it with a rhyme.

I can see you don't know who you're messing with preacher,

You may love instructing others but today I'll be your teacher.

They call you Nightcrawler but you don't look like a bug to me,

but with that face I'd stay in the dark where no one else can see.

You've got a sword, I have guns. I call this pair Lucretia and Borgia,

And I think it fair to warn you: The devil doesn't just hang in Georgia.

Night Crawler: Heaven help me for the hell I'll spit upon you,

I will burn you with such fire there won't need to be a round two.

You call yourself Reaper? I've seen a one armed man more deserving,

of course the one I know has a choice of dress slightly more unnerving.

The leader of Blackwatch facing the mutant teleporter,

I'll help you meet your maker so get your papers in order.

Life is precious so you should never waste second chances,

but your probability to win is just like me, we both vanish.

Reaper:So you disappeared? It's about your speed Kraut,

cuz' when you step up to Reaper guess what? You get knocked out.

I'm teaming with Widowmaker to take down Cue ball Xavier,

then teach that little fraulein Kitty Pride who's the real phaser.

Make a skin rug from McCoy, show him who the real Beast is,

and short stack Wolverine, I'm the best in the business.

Since you're gone anyway I'll get to your absentee mom,

Not gonna stop me elf? Guess I'll keep going on.

You'd have had two mothers if Clairemont had his way,

I don't care who you are, that'll ruin anybodies day.

Night Crawler:I try to be peaceable with all men but you've gone to an extreme,

thank God, Cyclops isn't here or I'd have you fried by an optic beam.

You've really damaged my sensibilities more than you did my faith,

but it's time you get burned you emo Dire wannabe Wraith.

Insulting my mother? That is something I refuse to tolerate,

but if you want to go there why don't you ask 76 out on a date.

Masks and guns, you both appear to have that much common ground,

but with those gravely voices I can't imagine how that night would sound.

You two seem to have some history and it goes pretty far back,

though since I don't like to pry, I wholeheartedly refuse to touch that.

Reaper: Tell me preacher man, what happened to not casting the stone,

I started it but you should have just left well enough alone.

There's no way you'd win against the MC, MVP of every round,

cuz thanks to Mercy, there ain't no grave that can hold my body down.