One More Job
Michael Westen was nothing if not focussed and disciplined. He burned the photograph not because he hated her, but because he needed to forget her. He had done it before. He would do it again.
The fact that he even had the picture hidden in his apartment spoke of how Michael Westen had changed. It was ironic really, that the things she wanted from him, and the normalcy she had sought to share with him had slowly become a part of everything he wanted. Maybe she expected him to be a faster learner. Understandable really, since he was a fast learner at everything else. But the slow intimacy they had cultivated during the time they lived together had shown him something he never thought he could have. She tunnelled through the roadblocks in his mind and in his heart. He thought of that small boy who had wanted to be held. That small boy had wanted affection and kindness but instead received violence. He wanted to give his lover the kindness and gentleness he had lacked. The kindness and gentleness he had learned to live without. He didn't even realise it but the fact that she looked at him with trust meant he could learn about family with her. Michael hated to fail, and whenever she looked at him with fear he knew he had failed. He closed his eyes and remembered watching her fix her hair and apply makeup. He remembered her making breakfast for them both. He remembered the way she would cover his face with gentle affectionate kisses just so she could comfort him and show him how much she loved him. Her smell was beautiful and restful and the fire of her spirit never went out. Fiona had complained that she needed to connect with him. She wanted to spend time with him and gain intimacy through the sharing of simple mundane tasks and personal stories. He had been learning. In the same way he mastered any new skill Michael had been making steady progress because he had quickly learned that a night of amazing sex didn't achieve what she wanted. It wasn't just selfishness that made him want to make her happy. He genuinely wanted her to be happy because he was doing his job correctly. He wanted to be enough for her and since she kept coming back he knew she wanted him to be enough too. Fi was a good teacher. She must have recognised something in him that was worth putting effort into.
He watched the flames consume the picture of a happy couple. They were both smiling in the picture. She wouldn't smile at him again. He had to go back to being alone and he hated that. He burned the image because he had to be free of her. Free of the sex dreams, free of the down time fantasies and free of the anger he felt at being abandoned. He would complete the mission and he would free all four of them. Sam, Jesse, his mother and Fiona would all be free. There was no way in hell he would let them go to jail on his account.
Then after that. He was out.