Title: Swimming For Jews

Characters: Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Ike Broflovski, Sheila Broflovski and others.

Rating: T

Summary: Ordered by his mum to help Ike swim at the local swimming pool, Kyle has to deal with a lot more than what he bargained for.

Pairings: Kyman

Warnings! Homosexuality, swearing and other South Park stuff.

Disclaimer: Me and Cupcake Queen liz,aka Liz, do not own any of the South Park characters. They all respectively belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

A/N: Hey, I'm back and this time I'm doing a collab with the super talented and very nice Cupcake Queen Liz ;D We've decided to do a Kyman and it's going to be so much fun. It did take a while to come up with the idea because all the good ideas have already been done so there's not many out there that we could have done with Kyman. Anyway, hopefully you'll like this new story and all that.

Enjoy~!

It was a common occurrence for some kid to shout out about how much of a bitch his mum was and in normal circumstances, Kyle would have socked them in the face and told them to shove it but this time…This time he really did feel the need to agree.

"You what?" Kyle shouted, feeling his green eyes narrow as his mother and father stood in front of him with Ike grinning on the floor next to them.

"Kyle, we know this is a lot to ask but you're Ike's older brother" Sheila persuaded, her tone coming out stern.

Kyle felt his top lip quiver in anger and he furrowed his eyebrows in anger. "He's not my real brother, you adopted him, remember?"

"Kyle!" Gerald shouted.

Kyle waved his hands in front of himself in surrender. "Okay, fine, I'll do it. Jesus…"

"Good. Now, bubby, we want you to make sure little Ike is safe because you know how little kids get…" Sheila continued on and Kyle droned her out, already used to her health checks and all that.

Kyle knew he had to make sure that Ike didn't drown otherwise his mum might actually decide to start a campaign against swimming pools or something and try to reason about how unsafe they were. And that was another embarrassment he didn't need.

As his parents walked out of the room leaving him and Ike, Kyle flopped down onto the couch and brought his knees up to his chest, seething at how annoying his parents really could be. He had already made plans with Stan, Kenny and Cartman to go out and see a movie and yet, now he would have to cancel all because his Canadian brother couldn't swim. It was weird how his academically enhanced brother couldn't swim at the age of nine considering the amount of times his mum took him down to the pool all the time.

"Ike, why can't you swim even though you're always going with mum to the swimming pool?" Kyle asked.

"I want Kyle to teach me, not mum" Ike answered, grinning bashfully.

Kyle nodded, furrowing his eyebrows for the hundredth time today. It was flattering, yet weird, how much his brother idolized him sometimes.

Kyle stood in front of his lockers, waiting on Stan and that so he could finally tell them he had to cancel their plans. As they neared, he felt anger once more as he started thinking back to how his Saturday had to be ruined all because of his little brother.

Stan gave him a worried look and shifted his bag higher up onto his shoulders as he stepped in front of Kyle with Kenny off to the side of him and Cartman behind, flipping through a book.

"Dude, you okay?" Stan asked.

Kyle nodded. "Well, yeah but I can't hang out with you guys this Saturday"

Stan's eyes widened and he looked hurt as Kyle nibbled on the bottom of his lip in worry.

"What, why?" Stan asked, confused.

"Mum told me I have to take Ike down to the local swimming pool every Saturday now to teach him how to swim because he asked for me specifically" Kyle shrugged, acting as if this was no big deal.

Kenny muffled something under his hood and Stan nodded. "Yeah, it's just going to be you and me" He sighed.

Kyle raised an eyebrow and his eyes flickered over to the overly large Cartman in the back who looked up with his own brown eyes towards Kyle. Kyle quickly looked away and gave Stan a confused look.

"What about Cartman?" He didn't know why he was even asking considering the answer was probably obvious.

"Oh, he says he has other plans too but he didn't say what" Stan explained, his eyes moving over to Cartman too.

"Well, if you must know, Jew, I knew all Jews were way too sneaky for their own good by the way, I have offered to do something on the weekends that helps the community around us" Cartman explained, his eyes focused solely on the book he was flipping through.

Kyle bit his tongue to stop himself from commenting on the Jew insult. "And why would you, of all people, want to help our community, Cartman?"

Cartman snapped the book shut and smirked. "That's for me to know and for you to keep your big, fat nose out of it"

All three of them watched as Cartman waddled off to do God knows what, going home probably seeing as how it was home time. Stan shook his head and Kenny just shrugged, looking towards the two best friends as they all stood around.

Kyle touched his nose and cringed. It wasn't as big as his mother's nose; it was just sharper than most people's as the tip seemed to point more than others which did irritate him at times.

Stan shifted on his feet and smiled towards Kyle. "So, shall we leave or are we waiting for that fatass to come back and point out even more flaws on us?"

They all chuckled a bit and walked off to their classes. Kyle felt himself completely forget about his parents request and everything, only focusing on hanging out with his best friends for the moment.

When Kyle got home, he crashed onto his bed, already feeling his eyes droop at how much he was working at school lately, what with after school classes for History, doing homework to hand in and generally working hard for good grades. On top of having to put up with Cartman's relentless teasing. He just needed a break from it all…

Kyle opened his eyes and stretched, yawning. All of a sudden he was tackled and thrown back onto his bed by his little brother. Groaning, Kyle opened his eyes and glared at Ike for waking him up so abruptly.

"Ike, what are you doing?" He asked.

Ike blinked and smiled, cutely. "Time for swimming~!"

Kyle's eyes widened and he tossed Ike off of his bed before running into the bathroom. Ike got confused and watched the door that his older brother went through, hoping he was coming out again.

Kyle rubbed at his forehead, trying to come up with any idea to get out of this considering he was smart enough to come up with an idea good enough but nothing was coming up right now.

"I-I…I'm not feeling well, Ike. I think I'm going to throw up" Kyle said, his voice somewhat muffled due to the door between the two brothers.

Ike raised one eyebrow, not believing one bit of Kyle's explanation.

"Yeah, there's like chunks flying everywhere right now. I can't even see the floor because there's so much sick on it" Kyle continued.

Ike moved towards the door, smirking. He tiptoed quietly and stood right outside the door, listening to his brother talk some more about how sick he was. He shook his head, trying to cover up his giggles.

"Oh God, so much sick! There's just no way I'm going to be able to take you swimming. Just tell mum and dad I'll do it some other time" Kyle ranted.

Ike threw the door open, grinning as he stepped into the bathroom to see Kyle leaning over the toilet, eyes wide and mouth open in a perfect circle. His hands found their way up to his hat, pulling it down over his eyes as he stood up, frowning.

"Fine, at least let me have a shower before I take you. And get your swimming shorts on before we go" Kyle explained, his tone sounding pained.

Ike poked his tongue out and walked off down the hall, swinging his arms back and forth as he went. Kyle glared and cursed all of the Gods up above him for making him do this as he swung his body back around and slammed the door shut, ready to take a shower.

When Kyle stepped out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist as his body dripped with water from the shower. His curly afro hair flattened against his head as the water stuck it to his head.

Kyle walked to his closet, picking out his clothes along with his swimming trunks and stepping into them before taking the towel that was around his waist and drying his hair with it, liking the feel of clean hair after the Friday. He considered not having one, seeing as how he would be getting into the water in the swimming pool anyway but he just couldn't bear the thought of having dirty hair.

He walked out of his door and was greeted with a grinning Ike, once again, as he frowned down at the younger brother. He really couldn't stand seeing a grinning face right now, not considering he looked like the Grinch compared to his little cheerful brother.

He gripped a hold of the top of Ike's head and pushed him out of the way so that he could walk towards the stairs and down them. As he reached the bottom, he was immediately face to face with his smiling parents, ready to send them off. He glared even more, not even bothering hiding his scowling face for his parents.

Sheila pulled Kyle's chin up so his face was eye line with hers and smiled. "Cheer up, Kyle"

Kyle gave her a big fake grin and pulled his face away from his mother's chubby fingers as he continued to smile, his parents not even thinking twice that it may be fake.

Gerald and Sheila waved at both of them as Kyle waved back, his smile turning painful as he couldn't force himself to smile any longer. Ike still beaming from his spot next to Kyle and as soon as the door to their house was closed, Kyle dropped his smile. He glowered and scrunched his fists up as he stomped down the road with his brother.

They reached the pool at ten o' clock as they stood outside of it, waiting in line with some other people that they knew. Like Craig with Tweek and the Goths under some pretty black umbrellas and some of the girls from Kyle's class. A lot of old people were there along with Mrs Garrison with some strange girl.

Kyle shuddered, knowing he shouldn't even begin to think why they were here.

As the line died down, Kyle was busy bopping his head along to some music and tapping his foot with the rhythm. Ike was throwing his rubber ball up and down in the air, making Kyle really want to take it off of him and throw it over the wall separating them from the pool. He could do with relaxing right now and a good dip in some cold pool water might do the trick.

When they finally got in, Kyle gave a sigh of relief and nudged Ike along, encouraging to stop pussying out when it came to the water. They walked into the area and were greeted with a coupld hundred families and friends swimming and lazing around the pool, making both the Broflovski brothers, knowing fully well how noisy and obnoxious pool people could be.

Kyle found a comfortable little chair next to the dirtiest plastic table you would ever see in a sunny spot and parked his towel and everything else down, taking in the atmosphere. There wasn't much to it other than it was a regular pool place. Kyle wondered if they even had a lifeguard in case someone drowned. But then this was South Park so if they didn't, Kyle wouldn't be surprised.

He heard a whimper and looked to see Ike dipping one small toe in the water. Rolling his eyes, Kyle walked away from the table and placed a hand on the small brother's shoulder.

"Ike, it's just water, nothing terrifying. Here, let me help you in" Kyle reasoned, trying to make his tone soothing.

Kyle walked towards the stairs leading down into the pool and beckoned for Ike to follow by holding a hand up for him to take. Ike gripped the hand, hard, and gently stepped a foot on the first step, shivering at the temperature. His wide blue eyes took in the large pool, nervously, not even able to get himself to put half his body in.

The redhead rolled his eyes once again and placed his hand behind the younger brother's back, lowering him in. Ike struggled against Kyle's hold and clung to his older brother. Kyle smiled fondly as Ike gripped to him, fearfully, and looked at the water in fright.

"Don't worry, Ike, I won't let you go until you're ready" He smiled down at the nine year old with an easing smile, making sure to keep hold of the Canadian.

Ike nodded, his arms wound around the older brother's torso.

Kyle waded them over to the side and sat on the ledge, letting Ike cling to him at the same time, trying to get him used to the water. He watched as Ike kept looking at the water as if it were going to eat him and swished his hands around in it.

"Oi, Jew, no blocking up the pathway!" A loud booming voice sounded in Kyle's ear and he froze as he recognized that voice.

Turning, his worst nightmares came to life.

"C-Cartman?" Kyle shouted, questioning why on earth Cartman stood off to the right side of him with his left hand on his hip and his right hand holding a giant red megaphone and a smirk planted on his face with a pair of bright yellow trunks on leaving his chest exposed.

"That's right, Kahl, now do you mind? You're blocking up the path!" Cartman shouted the last part with the megaphone, pushing it right up against Kyle's right ear.

Kyle gritted his teeth, pushing himself up whilst forgetting that Ike was still clinging to his side. He ignored Ike and glared right at Cartman.

"There, we're up. Now piss off and leave us to swim in peace" Kyle said, his tone bitter after not only having his Saturday spoiled by doing swimming lessons for his brother and now having to deal with Cartman on the weekend as well.

"Ooh, touchy, aren't you? Ah'm only doing mah job, Jew" Cartman commented, his smirk growing ten times bigger as he saw Kyle's face grow redder and redder.

Kyle puffed out a breath of air and walked away, finding it hard with Ike still stuck to his side. He wandered off to the table they had put their stuff at and plonked himself down on a chair while Ike let go and put himself in a chair across from him.

Kyle leaned against his right hand and pouted. "Why does he have to ruin my weekend?"

Ike blinked. "I thought I had ruined your weekend..?"

"Yeah, well, now this has ruined it even more" Kyle said, waving his hand offhandedly at his little brother.

Ike rolled his eyes, watching as Kyle's green eyes examined the fat lard walking around, yelling at people through the megaphone. Ike huffed as he crossed his arms, pouting at the lack of attention he was getting from his older brother and hating how much that Cartman was shouting out loud through that toy of his.

The young Canadian watched as his brother muttered under his breath and looked around. He watched as other children his age splashed around the pool and blushed at his lack of skills on actually being able to do that. He got up and stepped over to the side of the pool, looking down at the fresh clear blue water, and looking at the other kids with envy. He knew if he tried he could probably do it. And make his mum proud if he managed to actually swim.

So, without thinking about it, he jumped in.

Kyle glared as Cartman, once again, pushed a little girl into the pool as she screamed and swam over to her mum, crying while Cartman stood there, laughing. He really wanted to yank the fatass's megaphone off of him and push the tubby kid in the pool himself but he lacked the strength and the confidence to actually humiliate himself in front of everyone cause Lord knows that anyone who pushes the life guard in, no matter if it is Cartman, is seen as a hell spawn.

He suddenly remembered the reason why he was at the pool in the first place and looked back at Ike's chair. His heart stopped as he saw no little brother sitting beside him, just an empty chair with one lone towel on it.

Looking around, Kyle felt dread run through him as he saw no little brother in sight. It was then that he heard a screaming of help from far away and people rushed past him, barging into him as they went. Kyle got confused but then his green eyes widened as he suddenly realized who that screaming was.

Dashing over to the pool, he saw Ike trying to keep himself up in the water and everyone surrounding him gasping in fright.

Kyle glared. "You assholes, why aren't you helping him?"

One man looked at Kyle and replied "I can't swim" in a nasally voice.

Kyle then got scared and started to tear up. He was about to jump in himself when a large splash came from the pool and someone big swam towards Ike, yanked at him and placed him on their broad shoulders. Kyle squinted and was finally able to see who it was.

"Cartman?" Kyle whispered to himself.

Cartman finally swam to the side and hoisted Ike onto the side of the pool, making sure he kept steady while Ike blearily looked around. Cartman picked himself up onto the side and held onto Ike enough for him to sit up and get back to the real world.

"Ike, can you hear me?" Cartman asked.

Kyle was stunned at how professional Cartman was acting and how much he knew of what to do in certain situations such as this. It made him realize how mature and smart he could actually be when given the chance.

"Ike, you're going to need to rest now and don't go back in the pool for a while" Cartman explained in a deep voice.

Kyle ran towards Ike and kneeled down beside him before wrapping his arms around him and squeezing him into a hug while his eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"Ike, I am so sorry I didn't look out for you. I didn't mean to get you drowned in the pool, I didn't mean for any of it to happen. I am such a terrible big brother" Kyle moaned, his worry getting the best of him.

Kyle then looked up with embarrassment at Cartman and then looked back to Ike, feeling grateful but not knowing how to say thank you.

"Uh…I guess I'm…you know…" Kyle forced himself to try, not even looking at the chubby teen.

Cartman waved his hand. "It's nothing, just your regular superhero on the case of another heroic act. No need to say thank you, ma'am"

Kyle's eye twitched at the ma'am comment but said nothing. He was too grateful over Cartman's selfless act and was too worried over his little brother drowning to worry about anything else. He could punch Cartman right in the jaw later for being a dick.

"Buuuut~…"

Kyle froze when he heard Cartman say that, instantly knowing that Cartman was cooking up some plan of getting him to owe the fat slob something.

"You do owe meh" Cartman said, smirking.

Kyle glared up at him, not knowing what to say to that because even with his hatred for Cartman, Kyle knew he did technically owe him something as the brunette boy did save his little brother.

"What do you want?" Kyle asked, his tone forced.

"Well, you on your knees right there, saying…" Cartman coughed. "…'Oh, Cartman, how honourably courageous you were to save mah little brother. However could I pay you back?' would be a good start"

Kyle gritted his teeth, his hands tightening around his brother who whimpered at the feel of the fingers digging into his arm. He could already feel his face heat up in front of everyone and it made this moment all the more embarrassing.

"I am not going to say that in front of all these people, Cartman!" Kyle yelled, his mouth moving a mile a minute.

Cartman shrugged, feeling a lazy smirk plant on his face. "Well, all ah did was save your little brother from dying in the pool and asking you of one simple little request. Alas, ah guess ah shall just walk away with the pride of knowing that ah saved a little child"

Kyle knew Cartman said it loud enough for everyone around them to hear, and he could already hear the people murmur and glare at him in disgust. And he felt the shame of rejecting Cartman's request after the chubby boy saved his brother which is something he definitely didn't want to feel for the fat ass.

He gulped, reluctantly tugging on Cartman's swim shorts and placing his hands on his knees. Cartman turned around, smirking at his accomplishment and crossing his arms, standing tall and proud of what he could make Kyle do with a little manipulating.

Kyle crunched his teeth together, his eyes turning icy and narrowing at Cartman as he looked up to him.

"Oh…Cartman, how honourably…courageous y-you were to…" Kyle gulped. "…Save my little brother. However could I pay you back?"

Cartman smirked, feeling the swelling of arrogance rise in his chest. "Wow, Kahl, ah had no idea you thought so highly of meh. Since you asked so nicely…ah will get back to you in a week with mah request"

Kyle felt a big part of his dignity crumble as he knelt on the floor beside his brother, who was leaning against his back, and his head downcast in misery at the thought of what Cartman could possibly get him to do. He had, at one point, wanted Kyle to suck his balls all because of a leprechaun. Who knows what he could want him to do this time?

Kyle got Ike back safely and made sure he washed in the shower before sitting him on the couch in front of cartoons and a nice, big bowl of soup on his lap.

While Ike was busy, Kyle decided to call Stan to see if he would come over and help him with his predicament and how to solve it. Stan was always smart when it came to ideas on how to get rid of Cartman despite Kyle being the smart one in the group.

When Stan showed up at his door, Kyle let him in and greeted him with a big friendly hug, thanking him in his head for actually showing up. He had never been so relieved to see his friend. Well, there were many times where he thought Stan was dying when it turned out he was really alive but those were other stories.

Stan gave the Jew a confused look and calmly pulled himself away from Kyle to give himself some air to breathe in.

"Kyle, what's wrong? Why are you hugging me so hard?" Stan asked, happy to know that Kyle still had time to see him on a weekend.

To be honest, him and Kenny were out in town, waiting in line for a movie when Kyle called sounding extremely distressed and so, he had to come and see what was wrong with his best friend.

Kyle looked down, troubled. He grabbed his hat and flung it onto the back of a chair before sighing. Looking up, he stared at Stan and gave a pitiful pout towards him before looking away.

Stan glared, knowing what game Kyle was playing. "Kyle, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"I would…but you're not going to help me. It's too complicated. Plus, you won't side with me" Kyle explained, his arms crossed and his tone faked innocent.

Stan tapped his foot and glared harder. "Well, if I knew what was wrong, I could be the judge of that"

Kyle chanced a glance at Stan before quickly moving his eyes back over to the wall he happened to be staring at. "No, you can't"

Stan remained silent before huffing and throwing his hands up in the air. "I give up, don't tell me. I'm leaving now so you're going to have to sort this problem out yourself"

Kyle blinked, eyes wide before he threw himself at Stan's feet and looked up with puppy dog eyes. "Noooooo, Stan, don't leave me. I'll tell you, I'll tell you!"

Stan shook his head, dragging Kyle along the floor as he walked towards the door. Opening it, he saw Kyle's parents standing there, looking perplexed at Kyle on the floor.

"Hello, Stan dear, how are you?" Sheila asked, still fixing a confused glare at her son.

"I'm fine, thanks, Mrs Broflovski" Stan answered, flashing her a charming smile while completing ignoring the fact that Kyle was still stuck to his foot.

Gerald sighed. "Kyle, get off the floor, please?"

"Yes, dad" Kyle said, shamefully and got up, not even protesting. He kept his eyes downcast towards the floor.

Stan waved goodbye and Kyle stood in the hallway as his parents made their way past him into the kitchen. Not long after, Ike ran past him, pushing him accidently and bolting towards Sheila and Gerald. Bouncing up and down, he grinned.

"Mum, dad, can Cartman come over for tea?" Ike asked, fixing them with a pleading look.

Kyle's eyebrow twitched and his eyes widened as soon as he heard his brother's request. He ran into the kitchen with his mouth wide agape.

"What?" He yelled causing his mum, dad and brother to stare at him, worried and confused.

Sheila looked down at Ike with a warm smile. "Of course, honey"

"Mum, no, Cartman can't come over, he just can't!" Kyle shouted, his fists balled up.

Sheila gave Kyle a disapproving stare. "Kyle, don't shout and protest otherwise you'll be going to bed without any tea"

Kyle slumped over, feeling defeat hit him hard. "But mum, you don't understand!"

"Kyle…" Gerald warned.

Kyle sighed, giving up. "Fine, whatever"

Kyle shook his head, walking out of the kitchen and up to his bedroom. He flopped onto his bed and listened as his brother called Cartman, his worst enemy, over for tea tonight.

This was going to be a long evening…

A/N: So, that's the end of the first chapter and a cliffhanger for the next chapter ;P The next chapter's going to be written by Cupcake Queen Liz aka. Clyde :D Yes, I call her Clyde and she calls me Tweek. Yes, we both have reasons; we're not just weird D: …Well, only slightly.

Remember to review and let me know what you think~! :D