Hope's Loss
By: Batbabe
Today was the day that her life would end.
The light from the morning sun came through her window and practically blinded Hinata. She continued to lay there in bed, willing the sun to go away. This was the morning that she had been dreading for months. Maybe if she just didn't get out of bed then nothing would change, she wouldn't have to face the truth. Maybe her heart would not break. As much as she wished it, she knew that life would continue on without her.
Naruto would still get married.
The realization that the man she loved would get married today no matter what she did was enough to force Hinata out of bed. As much as she wanted to stay in her room and hide from the world, she knew that she couldn't. She owed it to herself and to Naruto to be present for the wedding. Though she highly doubted that he would even notice if she didn't come. Hinata tried not to be bitter, but it was extremely difficult. After all, the Hyuga girl had loved him for years only to loose him because she was too frightened to tell him how she felt.
Of course, to loose someone you would have had to have them in the first place and Hinata had never had him.
She dressed in one of her finest kimonos in silence. Brushing through her hair, she couldn't help but picture Naruto's smiling face as he announced to the village that he and his lover would be getting married. She couldn't cry, not today. Tomorrow she could lock herself in her room and cry until she had no more tears left, but not today. Today she would be brave and face what she had always known was inevitable.
Once she was ready, she sat back on her bed and stared at her wall, lost in thought. After a few moments, she heard a knock at her door. Steeling herself, she opened it and was met with the face of her cousin.
Neji looked more grim than usual and there was more than a hint of pity in his gaze. Thankfully, he remained silent as he moved aside to allow her to leave her room. They walked side-by-side through the halls of the Hyuga mansion almost as if going to a funeral. It wasn't until they reached the mansion's gate that Neji broke the silence.
"Are you certain you wish to do this?"
He spoke so quietly that Hinata almost didn't hear him. He looked at her almost pleadingly, wanting to spare her the pain that was sure to come. As much as she wanted to go back into the house, she continued walking down the street towards the Hokage's tower.
"I have to go, no matter how much it hurts." She spoke just as quietly, watching the ground under her feet. "If I don't, I will just have one more thing to regret." She sighed and decided to change the topic. "Where is Tenten? I thought that you would be escorting her."
"I asked Lee to pick her up." He accepted her change in topic without comment. "He would have had to go by himself otherwise. I wanted to save him the embarrassment." It was a lie and they both knew it. He just didn't want her to have to face this alone. She loved him all the more for that.
It didn't take long for them to reach their destination. As they entered the building, a wave of dread came over Hinata, forcing her to stop briefly. She might have turned around and left if it hadn't been for Neji's steadying hand on her shoulder. His support and encouragement meant the world to her, especially at that moment. She turned to look at him and was rewarded with a small, resigned smile gracing his features. It was then that she realized how much it was hurting him to see her like this. It reassured her that she was going to get through this day, for him if not for herself.
They followed the other arriving guests into the great hall where the ceremony would take place. Most of their friends had already arrived and were sitting near one another towards the front of the room. Hinata could see her teammates sitting side by side with Akamaru laying on the ground at his master's feet. Kiba looked extremely bored and absent-mindedly scratched at his neck, undoubtedly annoyed at having to wear such a formal outfit. Shino sat unmoving, not saying a word. Beside him sat Choji, who was talking animatedly to his teammate Shikamaru. Shikamaru and his wife Temari sat in the row ahead of Choji and Hinata's teammates. Temari's brothers sat beside her, one looking bored and the other as still as a statue. Hinata was not at all surprised to see the Kazekage there. After all, he and Naruto seemed to share some sort of bond with each other even though they were so different. It was also likely that Gaara had come in an official capacity since it was well known that Tsunade had named Naruto her successor as Hokage.
The room was full of friends and well wishers. As Neji led her toward two open seats near the middle of the room, Hinata spotted his teammates on the other side of the room near the wall. Lee was practically bouncing with giddy excitement and she thought she could hear him saying something about youth and love. Tenten, on the other hand, did not look nearly as excited to be here. Over the years, the Hyuga heiress had grown close to the weapons specialist. They were so close that when Tenten had heard of Naruto's engagement, Hinata and Neji had to physically restrain her so that she wouldn't go and kill the blonde. The girl in question caught Hinata's gaze and smiled sympathetically.
Hinata returned a small smile before turning to face the front of the room. She tried to ignore the looks of pity that she received from her friends. Apparently everyone knew of her feelings for Naruto but Naruto himself. In the days following his engagement, it was all she could do to smile graciously at the looks and condolences that she received. Each day was an exercise in acting, trying not to show how devastated she really felt.
The two Hyuga settled into their seats and waited for the ceremony to begin. Each second seemed like an eternity. Hinata wanted nothing more than to get this over with and run home so that she could cry. Her fingers absently played with the sleeve of her kimono, an action that did not go unnoticed by her cousin. It pained him deeply to see her go through this. Neji had known how his younger cousin felt about Naruto since their preliminary match in their first chunin exam. At the time, he despised his cousin and the loud-mouthed blond was just an annoyance. But the strength that Hinata got from Uzumaki's encouragement was undeniable. Neji saw how her eyes had lit up and filled with fire. At the time, he had thought that it was just a simple crush that would fade with time. Oh, how he now wished that was the case.
The Jounin couldn't help the anger that arose within him as he thought about the situation. Why did Naruto have to be so utterly dense? Everyone knew that Hinata was deeply in love with him. For someone who could be so observant about some things, he was amazingly blind to what was right in front of him.
It was then that the music began to play. All eyes focused on the front of the hall as the groom emerged to take his place.
At last, the ceremony ended. It seemed to last forever to Hinata, but she had survived. While she had never been physically tortured, she imagined that sitting through the wedding with a semblance of a smile on her face had to come awfully close. But she knew that what was coming next would be infinitely harder. She would have to make her way through the reception line and look in the bride and groom's faces and congratulate them.
She really did not want to have to lie to Naruto like that.
With Neji in front of her and Tenten behind her, Hinata felt sandwiched in. While she greatly appreciated their support, it also reminded her that she could not run away. With every inch that they crept closer, Hinata felt her heart slowly die within her chest. Only a few more seconds left until she reached him.
The Hyuga heiress stared at her feet as her cousin reached Naruto and offered him a cold congratulations. It was fairly obvious that Neji was far from pleased with the groom, but Hinata doubted that Naruto would notice. He was in his own world of happiness and no one would be able to damper his spirits even if they tried.
As Neji stepped forwarded to congratulate the bride, Hinata steeled herself for what she had to do. Taking one last calming breath, she brought her eyes up to meet Naruto's for the first time in her life. Bowing as a proper Hyuga heiress should, she said, "My sincere congratulations Naruto. I am sure that you and Sakura will be very happy together."
When she brought her head back up, she saw the shock on Naruto's face. She was not certain what the exact cause was, whether it was because she had spoken without a trace of a stutter or because she had been able to look him in the eyes without fainting. Whatever the reason, she would probably never know. As she turned towards the bride, she missed the sad expression that came over Naruto's features.
Surprise and guilt marred Sakura's face as she looked at Hinata. But that would not do, no bride should feel guilty on her wedding day. Hinata smiled and pulled Sakura into a tight hug.
"Congratulations. I wish you both all the happiness in the world. Please, take care of him."
Sakura could not look her in the eye as she quietly replied, "I will, I promise." Hinata nodded and turned away, fighting the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. As she left, those around her looked at her with pity in their eyes. Everyone but Naruto, Sakura, Neji, and Tenten. Her cousin and his lover gazed at her with pride, knowing the bravery it took for her to act with such grace and dignity. Sakura couldn't look at her because of her overwhelming guilt.
Naruto continued to have that sad expression on his face, knowing all too well what it had cost Hinata to come today and offer her congratulations. He was not nearly as dense as what everyone thought, just too frightened to confront her about her feelings. He risked a glance over towards his new wife, fully aware their own relationship would not have progressed to this level if it were not for Sakura's assertiveness. He knew that they could be happy together, but he couldn't help the wistful expression that came over him as he gazed towards where Hinata had made her exit.
AN: Dedicated to all the NaruHina fans. Our hope won't die in the face of more proof of NaruSaku!