Just know that this starts pre-CM and goes all the way to season 5. I hope you can catch on to which season/episode each 'drabble' takes place in.

C'mon
A Ballad of Panic at the Disco

~* It's late and I, cannot seem to find my way home tonight. *~

It wasn't conventional. It wasn't exactly safe. And at the least it sure as hell wasn't normal. They smiled at each other despite it, though, because desperation was seeping through both of them faster than either of them could keep up with.

"We shouldn't be doing this." It wasn't what he wanted to say, but it needed to be said. He was rewarded with a grunt and a force pushing him up against the wall. "Shut. Up," his lover grumbled back. Not in the mood to argue he quieted his mouth and put his lips to better use. Within seconds neither of them were standing, rather yet instead they lumped together on the bed.

The next morning Spencer Reid would wake up with bruises on his chest and an empty bed. Sighing he would scatter up his clothes, put them all on as fast as he could, and sneak out before his 'lover' could realize he was gone. As he drove home he would start to realize that he couldn't keep the charade up anymore- that it would both physically and mentally kill him. As he would start to get ready for his last day of college he'd pick up his phone, pissed off and irritated with himself, and he would dial the number he had gotten to know just a little too well.

"Jake, yeah it's Spencer….Fuck off. I'm joining the BAU after all."

Feeling just a little bit more confident Spencer Reid would leave his graduation with a diploma and an agent from the bureau. Together they would discuss Spencer's possible future at the BAU, and all the while Spencer would smile. Finally, late in the night hours, Agent Gideon would say, "It's getting late kid; why don't you head on home?"

Spencer's smile wouldn't even falter as he choked his way through a plausible response. Then, he would finally settle with a polite nod and a casual response. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot."

~* And if the sun should lift me up, would you come back? *~

Tears were nothing new. They were familiar and cold, sad and depressing, soundless yet worrisome. There came a point, though, where Spencer Reid grew sick of their company and instead decided to play with happiness instead of glum. So they said their goodbyes for the day and the following morning Spencer woke up just a bit brighter. He quickly threw on an acceptable shirt and his favorite scarf, grabbed his key and headed toward his kitchen. With a somewhat forced smile he poured himself a cup of coffee to go and then trailed off to his closet. Throwing on his overcoat and skipping out the front of the door, he headed off from his 'home'.

Walking down the street, Spencer realized, suddenly felt very different than it did any other day. Today was different- today was special. Smiling wide as he looked around, Spencer couldn't help but feel a bit better about the day. As he walked down the street with his mind feeling a bit less overwhelmed, he threw away his coffee and started walking back home and called in sick.

He didn't want to risk ruining his day, after all.

~* I am a man of many hats although I never mastered anything *~

"One two three, two two three, three two three…." Spencer Reid counted out the rhythms of the keyboard with precise accuracy. With a straight face he let his fingers slide over the keys. Eventually he sighed and stopped. His inspiration had been lacking lately, and he had been hoping that the keyboard would help him. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

"What to do," Spencer sighed. Packing his keyboard away he thought about what he could do next. Just as he reached his closet and was about to place the keyboard away, someone knocked on his front door. Spencer let out a groan and stuffed the keyboard in. Slamming the closet shut he made his way to the front door. As soon as he pulled the door to, Spencer frowned.

"Hotch."

Aaron Hotchner's only response was to throw his hand up- his left hand up. At first Spencer was confused by the gesture, but then realization dawned on him. Aaron wasn't wearing a wedding ring.

Damn.

"I'm….I'm sorry." The statement had been stuttered, had been so obviously forced out. There was no sympathy or even a 'sorry man'. No, just an almost sarcastic sorry.

And then something happened, something Spencer wouldn't be able to explain right away. Suddenly the younger agent rushed forward and threw his arms around Aaron. Seconds later his tongue was sliding down his boss's throat and the door was being slammed shut behind him.

Well, behind them.

~* May we stay lost on our way home? *~

Spencer Reid and Aaron Hotchner were smiling. The setting of night and the rainy air it brought somehow only added to the perfect evening. It was cold, sure, but they were together. They barely even acknowledged how soaked they had become- nor did they give a damn, because they were happy for once.

At one point Aaron remembered looking at Spencer and seeing something in his eyes he hadn't seen in just too long, something youthful and innocent. He also would look back and recall the confidence in Spencer's eyes as he leaned over with an almost bashful smile and whispered, "This is perfect."

Then Aaron realized that he had something he hadn't had with Haley. 'I'm happy'. It was a simple revolution, but yet it seemed to mean everything.

"What's on your mind?" Spencer asked as he blinked raindrops from his eyes. Aaron just laughed at his lover and gave him a sloppy, wet kiss.

"Nothing, Spencer, nothing."

*~ So c'mon, c'mon, with everything falling down around me. I'd like to believe in all the possibilities. *~

Funerals were bad. They were socially awkward events where you mourned the death of someone you knew either too well or practically not at all. They were awkward because they marked the end of one lie and the start of another. For Hotch, it marked the end of the lie that was his 'happy' marriage with Haley, and it revealed the lie of his new lover and the secrets that they'd have to keep from everyone because of it. In the meantime Aaron had to learn how to bite his tongue and curse people out in his head without showing any tell-tale signs of irritation. After the twenty-fifth 'sorry for your loss', he was more than positive he had mastered the new skill of his.

After the funeral was over Aaron threw off his tie and hugged him son as close to him as possible. His lover had generously offered to clean up the house in case of any unexpected visitors so Aaron could be with his son. Aaron was now suddenly glad Spencer had, because he had forgotten how much he had missed his son until Jack crawled on his lap and asked where mommy was. "Hey Jack, how're you doing?" he would ask every once in a while. His response would be a frown and a slightly confused look, but eventually Jack would shrug and burry his head back in his father's chest. Aaron didn't like how quiet Jack was being- or Spencer for that matter. Every so often the distressed father would glance up at Spencer and watch him as he cleaned something up or attempted to read from a larger than life textbook he had brought over with him. It was obvious too obvious to Aaron that Spencer was just as upset as Jack and himself were, but he wasn't still sure if he was upset about Haley's death or about his own behavior. Aaron felt like he was ignoring Spencer, and he hoped that it was all just in his head. The more times he looked up at Spencer, however, the more certain he was that he had been ignoring him. Eventually Spencer caught on to what he was doing, though, and sighed as he placed a piece of paper to mark his page in his book. Seconds later he was seated next to Jack and Aaron with a look of sadness in his eyes.

"It'll get better," Spencer whispered. "I can promise you that much."

"No you can't," Aaron sighed, "but thanks anyways."

"Mhh hmm," Spencer sighed.

" 'Spessey?" a small voice called from the other side of the couch. Aaron and Spencer exchanged worried glances before Aaron nodded his approval. "Go on Spencer; it might be good for him."

"Alright," Spencer nodded reluctantly. He scooted Aaron over more to the side so he could more easily get to Jack. "What is it, Jack?"

"Do you love my daddy?" the child sniffled.

Spencer's eyes bulged just a little, and he immediately looked to Aaron for guidance. Aaron just nodded his head and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. They hadn't yet exchanged those words, but they had always been said in silent gestures that were always obvious and clear. So Spencer just bit his lip and waited for Aaron to give him some sort of gesture to clarify how he should answer. "Tell him the truth," Aaron whispered. But Spencer knew he was really saying 'tell me the truth.'

"Jack," Spencer finally replied with a confident smile, "I love your daddy very nice."

A small smile broke out on Jack' small face, and Spencer was suddenly proud to say he knew the boy. "He loves you too; I can tell." Then, Jack crawled closer to Spencer until he was on the man's lap. "And I love you too." Before Spencer knew it Jack's thin arms were wrapped around Spencer, and tears were streaming down both of their faces.

And suddenly Aaron believed Spencer. Everything would be alright after all.