"You must believe in some God or someone or it would have shown you the door too. So what do Time Lords pray to?"
Amy Pond sat back on her bed and realized the Doctor never actually answered the question. He avoided it in the moment, and she didn't blame him. But now, so much time later, he never did tell her. She wondered if he once prayed or went to worship. And now, he had turned into something no one could help. Amy suddenly got an idea, and rushed down to the main control room. Like always, the man in the bowtie was guiding his box.
Amy cleared her throat, he turned towards her.
"Can you ask the TARDIS stuff? Like records?"
"She can show you anything or anyone you would want to know. Now who should we creep on?"
Amy shrugged. "No one. Just wondering."
The Doctor eyed the redhead before going back to work.
Rory turned in bed beside her, he sighed in his sleep. Amy moved her arm away from him. Then her right one. And slowly, her whole body was above the covers and she was out of the bed, free to explore to her pleasing. She knew it was around midnight, thought unsure of the exact time, for the fear waking up her husband by turning her phone on. She stumbled down the hall in the dark, moving with her arms out feeling her way towards the faint glow of the counsel.
When she got there, she realized she had been holding in her breath for fear of waking the others. But she was alone. Just her and the machine. "TARDIS," It quietly hummed to life, "What does the Doctor believe in." She knew the engine was thinking, and multicolored lights flashed every now and then. When finally the room went light. A projection a casted down a scene onto the floor of the room. It looked like a model of a cave, and it freaked Amy out. There was a man wearing a bright orange space suite, talking to an unseen object,
"If I believe in one thing, just one thing, I believe in her."
The miniature man yelled before the image faded away. Amy put her hands on her hips. "Who was that man and what did that even have to do with the doctor? And who's her?" Amy Pond was not in the mode for games at this time of the morning. A profile shot up on the screen. It showed the same man, now in a suit, smiling straight ahead. She didn't care about the small details, she was looking for his name, and she found it.
"Doctor." She whispered. She read his bio quickly. He was the doctor, yet not the same doctor. He changed his face. He couldn't die. This was too much. "I just want to know what religion he is!" She told the TARDIS. Words flashed on the screen. There was no information in her system about that. "What does the Doctor believe in?" She asked again, angrier than last time. The same scene was reenacted as before. Amy's eyes got large, "Her! Her, who's that?" Another projection came out of nowhere. This time it was life size.
It was a woman, just a tad shorter that Amy, with blonde hair. She was dressed in jeans and a faded t-shirt. She was smiling. Amy reached out to touch her, but her hand went through. It was a scan of a person, nothing more. She wasn't blinking or moving. But Amy still liked the image. The blonde looked like she was laughing when the scan was taken. Amy Pond smiled, and the image faded. "Why did you show me her?" She asked, using her normal voice. Another scene popped up.
Amy saw bits of the old console room, and she couldn't help but wonder how long ago this was. The image was at an odd angle and shook from time to time.
"So where are we going?" the blonde asked. Her voice was filled with happiness and pure joy.
"Further than we've ever gone before." The orange suit man was back. The Doctor, the old Doctor.
The woman smiled and the old Doctor pushed buttons, off to a new adventure.
The scene was longer than the first one, yet Amy wanted to see more. She wondered where the couple went off to, and what happened. That man being an old Doctor, it must have been dangerous.
"What is that blonde's name?" Amy asked, engrossed in her study.
Another bio showed up on the screen, this time of the girl.
Rose Tyler.
Age: unknown
Height: 5"4
Marital status: confidential
"Someone the Doctor traveled with? Oi, he sure is popular." Yet she must be important, after all, the old doctor believed in her. "Show me more videos!" Amy shouted, before realizing how loud her voice echoed.
Amy watched as the Doctor rode a small scooter out of the TARDIS and Rose followed afterwards, putting on glassed and setting behind him. The two rode their way out of the image.
"Oh I'd love you to come"
"Traveling with you, I love it."
"Well if you think there's gonna be trouble, we could always get back inside and go somewhere else."
Video after video, Amy watched, smiling at the couple. They cared for each other. Yet from all the scenes she had seen, Amy wondered why Rose Tyler had left. She looked so happy and just so frankly in love with the Doctor, Amy wondered how she could even tie her shoes without flirting with the old time lord.
"TARDIS, what happened to Rose Tyler?" More words on the screen. "Death unknown." She whispered. Amy tapped her chin, "Show me…" Amy wondered how to word her request. But the machine went to work and produced a scene. This one too, was life size. It was of the old Doctor, talking straight ahead.
Amy studied his face, he looked so different than the others. And Rose was not to be seen.
"Inside the TARDIS. There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection—I'm in orbit around a supernova. I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye."
Amy wondered who he was talking to.
" Hold on—"
He pointed his sonic screwdriver at the controls. Amy presumed it made him easier to see for the person on the other end.
"I'm still just an image. No touch."
"The whole thing would fracture. The two universes would collapse."
"NO" It was Rose. The person on the other end of the projection was Rose Tyler. And she was trapped in another universe. Amy found her eyes watery. "no"
Where are we? Where did the gap come out?... Norway, right…. Dalek"?
The image checked his clock. Amy knew he didn't have long
About two minutes…. You still got Mr. Mickey, then?... You're not—?
And what about you? Are you—?... Oh, good for you.
Amy wondered what he meant here. Had she moved on already?
Rose Tyler, defender of the Earth... You're dead—officially—back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on the list of the dead. [pause] Here you are, living your life day after day. The one adventure I can never have.
"Pause!" Amy said her voice cracking. "PAUSE IT!" She said louder. She wiped her eyes with her nightgown. She couldn't go on, this was torturing her. Yet she had to keep watching. She told the TARDIS to keep playing.
You can't.
Back to the TARDIS. Same old life.
Amy noticed the Doctor pause. She needed to know what Rose Tyler was saying.
Quite right, too. And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it: Rose Tyler...
The video faded as Amy slowly slid down the railing of the control room, her back on the bars. "It can't end like that. It can't. She loved him!" Amy pulled her knees up to her chest. Never had she felt worse for the Doctor than now. Amy heard a humming and looked up to see Rose Tyler, the old Doctor and two unknown people in front of her. Rose was staring at the Doctor,
"You're still you?"
"I'm still me."
Amy smiled through her tears. They were back together as it ended. "What's next?" She asked, hoping it got better. The next scenes confused Amy. All these people she had never seen were rushing in and out of videos. There was a war going on. A clone was made. They won. And somehow Amy knew Rose wouldn't stay with the real Doctor. The last scene, they were all standing on a beach inside the TARDIS. She cranked her neck to look up at them all.
"And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him."
" But he's not you."
"He needs you. That's very me."
"You're giving her up? You can't. You idiot."
"Alright both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach—on the worst day of my life—what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it."
"I said "Rose Tyler."
"Yeah and? How was that sentence gonna end?
" Does it need saying?"
"Tell her already." Amy cried. Waving her hands in front of her.
" And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence."
Amy watched as the clone whispered something and kissed Rose Tyler as the real Doctor and the other woman walked towards Amy and disappeared. The image soon faded. Speechless, Amy rose off the ground.
She realized it was getting early and the boys might be rising soon. Amy wiped her eyes one last time and patted the counsel.
"There's one more video." A voice said from behind her.
Amy almost jumped out of her robe as she turned around. There in the shadows, was the doctor. He walked down the steps, his brown robe tied around his waist.
"How did you know I was in here?" She questioned, afraid she was being too noisy.
"I heard a voice. At first I thought it was Rory sleep walking, but it was different. I haven't heard that voice for longer than you could imagine. I jumped straight out of bed when I heard it. I thought she was outside my room. But that's impossible."
Without his bowtie he looked different. Without his wonderful hair Amy had fallen in love with while watching videos, she didn't recognize him.
"The TARDIS records everything near or inside her. That's why when you searched what I believe in, that first thing came up, it happened not far from these walls." The Doctor had reached Amy by now.
"You saw them all? And I thought I was a creeper."
That got a smile out of the time lord. He nodded. "It's fine. I never told you about her. Now you know everything."
Amy was still curious. "What about the last video."
The TARDIS hummed again and Amy watched younger Rose Tyler walking alone in the snow. The eleventh Doctor and Amy watched in silence.
"I bet you're going to have a really great year."
Amy watched Rose Tyler smile and walk away as the old Doctor stumbled and got closer to Amy before the video ended. The lights returned to normal. Amy glanced over at her normal Doctor. He was staring at the spot his old self had just been. "The end." He told the spot.
"You haven't seen her since?" Amy asked, blinking fast.
"She's gone. Grown up now. Living her life with him. I can't see her again." He turned to start back up the steps.
"I know what you believe in." She hollered louder than needed.
He stopped, "I don't believe in anything."
"You use to though." He still didn't turn around, "you believed in her."
"After all the things you watched tonight I'm so glad to see you retained those few words." He said gripping the railing.
"You believed in Rose Tyler because you loved her. You had never had someone like her. That no matter what you did, you couldn't not love her. She gave you a reason to keep living. Her and her alone was that reason. Because even if you knew or not what was going to happen to her in the end, you knew you wanted her to live a great life. Even if it wasn't with you. That's how in love you were with her. You believed she would never let you down. And I'm going to guess she never did." Amy couldn't stop now. "Believing in a person is both the best and worst thing to happen to you. It's great because it makes you feel better than you ever have. It's like you're a different person when you're around them. They give you a purpose. You can't see them hurt. But it's also the worst. Because they will get hurt, and when they do, poof, you find yourself alone, lost, and scared. I saw a clip of you after Rose Tyler left, doctor, and I knew you were all three things. But at the same time, you still wanted her to be happy. So you take the suffering. For her. Because you loved her. And you're still taking the pain and coping. You have nightmares involving her. The worst ones are where you live happy ever after. It won't happen, and you know it won't. Yet they won't stop. Like some uncontrollable force is making them. It's the other person's memory in your mind, making sure you don't forget about them. Because, if you still believe in something, it's still real."
Amy knew she had gotten to the Doctor, she had gotten to herself. She started crying halfway through, thinking of her own husband, and how lucky she really was. Amy walked up to meet the Doctor and pulled him into a hug.
"Amy you're wrong."
Amy pulled out of the hug, "After that long speech I pulled out of nowhere at odd hours in the morning that's all you got?"
"I understood where you were coming from. I see that every time you look at Rory. But you're wrong when you said I use to believe in her. I still do. And I just hope that wherever she is, she is happy and living. Even if I can never see her again, I have those tapes and more to remember her by. But I don't need them. Because I can't stop believing in her."