Ludwig "Kooky" von Koopa

Birthdate: August 13, 1980

Astrological Sun sign: Leo

Bowser's eldest son, Ludwig is a brilliant polymath with prodigious talent in a variety of disciplines, most notably music and applied science. A child prodigy at a very early age, Ludwig was brought to Austria as an egg by his mother, Sofia von Shellz, to hatch and live with his wealthy, refined, and intelligent extended family until his father reclaimed custody when he was four.

Ludwig's great-uncle Wolfgang Amadeus von Bachstein was a great influence on Ludwig's development in the areas of math and science, while his mother nurtured and encouraged his musical gifts. Ludwig wrote his own songs, including symphonies, piano concertos, and operas, and played them at concerts when he was two years old. Ludwig enrolled at an intensive 4-month Mad Science bachelor's degree program for exceptionally gifted learners at Frankenstein University, his great-uncle's alma mater and graduated summa cum laude shortly before going to live with his father.

Ludwig's alpine upbringing has made him comfortable with heights, so whenever his father conquers a new land, Ludwig usually gets the place with the highest elevation. (The exception being Pipe Land, which intrigued Ludwig so that he insisted on having it, leaving Roy to take Sky Land, which was fine by him, since he found Pipe Land confusing). Although he was also intrigued by the Forest of Illusion, he was captivated by the view from Cookie Mountain, leaving Roy once again with the short end of the stick.

Ludwig detested growing up around his simpler brothers and sister, as well as being forced to go to the Mushroom Kingdom Academy with them instead of just going on to earn his Master's and Ph. D., but on the other hand, he relished the opportunity to become King and succeed where his father had failed.

As a young child Ludwig was often called Kooky and didn't practice good hygiene habits. He giggled at his own thoughts shamelessly in public. As he got older, he became more arrogant and prideful, and had taken to sulking and brooding more often.

Ludwig spends nearly all day and all night either working on his inventions in the lowest part of Castle Koopa or practicing his music in one of the highest parts. His favorite instruments are the pipe organ, the piano, and the violin, but he plays several others as well, and sometimes even conducts (many would say he looks handsome in a tux with white gloves on waving a conductor's stick around). His father has assigned him the duty of looking after Iggy and Lemmy, who often mess around in his lab but are sometimes allowed to help him.

Ludwig seethes with an aura of arrogance, and also of depth and mystery that many find highly appealing. He can sometimes be the cruelest and most evil of the Koopa clan, capable of diabolical vengeance upon whosoever crosses him, but he is genuinely loyal to his family.

He is quite chubby in appearance, either due to genetics, lack of strenuous physical exercise, or his diet of gourmet junk food (European chocolates and authentic Belgian French fries are among his favorites, and he also has a weakness for caffeine, preferably in the form of Koopaccinos). However, despite his lack of exercise, Ludwig is the strongest of his siblings other than Roy, due either to his magic skills or to scientific experiments he has conducted on himself. He can jump high and even hover for an extended period of time. He is also the best fire breather. And, to the chagrin of his brothers, he is the best at video games as well.

Fun Fact: Due to an experiment that went wrong, Ludwig temporarily lost his senses of absolute pitch and rhythm, and some of his hearing as well, which resulted in the period of his infamous terribly composed "Koopa Symphonies".

Roy "Bully" Koopa

Birthday: April 20, 1981

Astrological Sun sign: Taurus

Bowser's second child was born to one from his harem of mistresses, most probably the one named Clawdia. Roy thinks himself to be the eldest because of having been born into a home without any older siblings, without knowing about his older brother who lived in Austria at the time. He had been picking on his siblings since the days they were hatched, and when Ludwig moved back from Austria, Roy picked on him too, being larger and stronger than his older brother, hence the continued belief that he is the eldest.

Roy does a lot of working out – punching bags, lifting weights, and bullying on his pet rabbit Pookie – in addition to drinking protein supplements and eating lots of meat. He goes out into the slums of Dark Land, looking for thugs to either beat up or force to join his gang.

Although his favorite color is red, Roy was born with a pinkish-purple shell, and whenever he is made fun of for it he beats the offending party up and says "real men wear pink". As a young child he began wearing sunglasses as a status symbol to show how cool and tough he is.

Though he has good street smarts, Roy is rather less intelligent than his other siblings except for Lemmy and Iggy (at least until Iggy suddenly became a genius). He was baffled by the Forest of Illusions that he was given to rule when his father conquered Dinosaur Land, so he chose to have his castle built outside of the forest, next to Chocolate Island.

More so than his other siblings, Roy is a heavy drinker and smoker of both tobacco and pot, and sometimes crack. He is also a rapist (but unfortunately for the women of Dark Land, he is a prince and therefore exempt from the law).

Fun fact: Roy raped Wendy's best friend Birdo, and since then Birdo has wanted nothing to do with the Koopa family.

Wendy "Kootie Pie" Orlean Koopa

Birthday: March 11, 1982

Astrological Sun sign: Pisces

Wendy is the only girl in the Koopa family. Like her other siblings, she was named by her mother, but Bowser insists on calling her Kootie Pie, which was the name that he wanted to give her.

Being the only girl, Wendy regards herself as her father's favorite, and acts brattier than her brothers. She is constantly throwing tantrums to get her daddy to get her what it wants – whether it be coins to go shopping for expensive clothes and jewelry, a hostile takeover of some place that she wants, or a guy that she wants to date. On the rare occasion that her father does punish her or otherwise not give her what she wants, she is not afraid to take matters into her own hands. She is extremely ungrateful, and willing to stab her brothers and even her father in the back to get what she wants.

Wendy always gets the place that she wants whenever her father decides which land each of the Koopalings should have. She prefers beaches and watery paradises, and is actually an adept swimmer. She also loves chocolate, and threw a BIG fit to make sure she was the one who got Chocolate Island (which ALL of the Koopalings coveted).

She was born with the phenotype for the Koopa bald gene, so she makes up for her hairlessness with an enormous polka-dotted bow. She grooms the bow just as though it were her hair, using the curling and flat iron on it, shampooing it, and spraying it with hairspray. (She brushed it for a while before she discovered how raggedy the bow got after running the bristles over it). She has multiple bows, some of which look different for different occasions.

Wendy likes to sing, but she quite often sounds terrible, with her loud, shrieky, tone-deaf voice. She might sound good if she had lessons in vocal control, but Ludwig refuses to give into her bratty tantrums pleading him to train her.

Fun Fact: Iggy and Lemmy's imaginary friend, Fart, is constantly sexually harassing Wendy whenever he can and spying on her.

Morton "Bigmouth" Koopa, Jr.

Birthday: September 1, 1982

Astrological Sun sign: Virgo

Although most think that he is the second youngest, Morton is actually the middle child, which is probably the reason why he is always striving for attention with his incessant blabbering and loud music. He likes to talk, sometimes for no reason at all or about nothing at all. Roy is the brother that he gets along best with, but sometimes even Roy gets enough of it and has to tell him to shut up.

Much like his brother Roy, Morton has a bad temper, and he is even easier to tick off, but he tends to swear loudly and rant when he gets angry rather than beating the offending party up as does his brother.

Morton has darker skin than his other siblings because he comes from a darker race of desert-dwelling Koopa. This is the reason why Morton usually gets the hot, arid place whenever Bowser conquers a new land. Asides from deserts, he also enjoys rugged mountains and woods, as long as the weather is warm and dry.

Morton loves rock and roll music, his favorite band being KISS. He wears KISS facepaint so often that others often think that the star on his face is his birthmark. He has a collection of electric guitars that he plays while screaming in a loud metal voice.

Morton gets extremely cranky if anyone touches any of his stuff in his room. He keeps a lot of snacks, such as pudding cups and whatever promotional KISS goodies he can find, as well as KISS posters and other such memorabilia.

Morton was small as a child, but he eventually went through a growth spurt during which he became as large as Roy, and quite strong (but not quite as strong as Roy, due to his weight being more fat than muscle).

While Roy eats lots of protein, Morton prefers to eat fatty foods, such as cheese (which he enjoys having extra-large amounts of on his pizza) and cake.

Fun Fact: Morton's name has a suffix of "Jr." because his mother was also named Morton.

Larry "Cheatsy" Koopa

Birthday: April 1, 1983

Astrological Sun sign: Aries

Larry's nickname is quite fitting, for he cheats at EVERYTHING – sports, video games, board games (though he seldom takes Ludwig's offers to play chess with him), homework, tests, and his girlfriends. He has lust for both money and sex – in fact, he is the most perverted of the Koopalings. He has a hard time getting girlfriends because of his habit of sexually harassing them with dirty pickup lines. As a result, he spends a good deal of time "playing with himself".

When Larry is not on drugs, he is quite energetic and enjoys sports, most particularly tennis, but he is weak compared to his older brothers and sister and has low stamina. He does, however, have good technique, and if he were a playable character in Mario Tennis he would most likely fall under the "Tricky shots" category with Paratroopa and Boo. Needless to say he cheats whenever given the opportunity.

Asides from Ludwig (and smart Iggy), Larry is probably the most intelligent of the Koopalings, but he prefers to use his cleverness to do sneaky things, cheat and make money (sometimes literally, by counterfeiting) rather than learn and get good grades the honest way. He has fairly good computer skills and can hack computers (although not as well as Ludwig or genius Iggy).

Larry is fond of Piranha plants, and he keeps several different varieties of pet piranha plant in his room. The piranha plants guard his coins, which he is willing to use to pay Ludwig to make him new breeds of piranha plants to satisfy certain desires of his.

Because of his ineptitude in battle (he lacks the strength of his older siblings, the speed of Iggy, and the physical dexterity of Lemmy; plus, he's usually somewhat high whenever Mario or Luigi encounters him) his father underestimates his survival skills and gives him the world that is safest to live in. Although Larry was irked not to get Pipe Land or the Forest of Illusions or World 5 in NSMBW, he does enjoy dark caves, even if it meant living with King Dad right next door to protect him in the Valley of Bowser.

Larry's eyes are large, likely swollen, and wide, due either to drugs (he frequently uses crack, crystal and ecstasy) or some undiagnosed venereal disease. His ecstasy habit has resulted in the goofy smile that he often wears. He sneaked out one day without his father's permission to get a star tattoo on the side of his head.

Perhaps due to his habit of getting himself stoned and high on pot, Larry is often the quietest of the Koopalings, but Lemmy, for some reason, is able to tune into his sneaky, dirty thoughts. He is, however, a bit of a crybaby who won't hesitate to voice a complaint (although not as vehemently as Morton).

Larry had been sent to reform school and juvenile hall at a very young age for his counterfeiting and drug habits.

Fun fact: Larry is the youngest Koopaling in terms of the order that the eggs were laid, but Iggy and Lemmy are the youngest in terms of chronological development – Ludwig incubated their eggs in a time deceleration chamber so that they didn't hatch until after all the other Koopalings were born.

Lemmy "Hip" Koopa

Birthday: May 31, 1986

Astrological Sun sign: Gemini

Lemmy hatched from the second egg to be sired by Bowser, but due to the reason explained above, he hatched second to last. Since Iggy became smart, Lemmy is the least intelligent of the Koopalings, having an IQ only slightly above mental retardation. He is, however, quite an acrobat, able to balance on a ball, walk around on it, and even do backflips on it.

Lemmy loves ice and snow, and always gets the coldest land when his father conquers a world. He has no trouble getting around on his ball even when it's on slippery ice.

Lemmy and Iggy's eggs were laid by the same mother, within minutes of each other, making them fraternal twins. They are in fact the only two Koopalings to share a mother. Lemmy is very close to Iggy, and together only they are friends with Fart (whom Ludwig thinks is their imaginary friend).

Lemmy is extremely hyper and childish for his age, requires ADHD drugs (though not as strong a dose as Iggy). He and Iggy were held back in kindergarten (or Koopergarten, as Ludwig suggested that Bowser begin calling it) and then placed in a special education class.

Lemmy likes to eat a lot, sugar especially, and will sometimes even steals food from his brother, but he has such a hyper metabolism that he never gains any weight.

Fun fact: Although Bowser believes that Lemmy's egg was laid first because it hatched first, (hence the alleged birth order in the games) it was actually laid after Iggy's but due to an accident that happened as Ludwig removed the eggs from the time decelerator, Iggy's hatching was delayed. Ludwig was, of course, punished when Bowser found out, six years after the eggs were laid, what Ludwig had been doing with them (yes, Bowser forgot that those eggs existed until Ludwig, being young and not used to being punished at the time, brought them out for Bowser to witness the hatching).

Iggy Hop Koopa

Birthday: June 4, 1986

Astrological Sun sign: Gemini

Although often referred to as Ignatius by the castle servants and Igor by Ludwig, Iggy's name on his birth certificate is Iggy Hop Koopa (a play on Iggy Pop, whom his mother was a fan of).

When Ludwig removed the eggs from the time decelerating incubator, he accidentally dropped the one containing Iggy. The egg didn't break, but the bump to the baby inside is believed to have resulted in his delayed hatching as well as his problems (but then again, Iggy's mother was a drug addict).

Iggy is a crazy, psychotic, raving mad lunatic. More so than Ludwig, who is sane enough to keep his madness hidden, Iggy is acting out all the time in ways that even Ludwig cannot understand, and must be put on several different medications just to keep him from hurting himself and others.

As a young child, Iggy acted a lot like Lemmy, only crazier, and apparently more retarded. He looked similar as well, being only slightly larger and having the same hairstyle. Iggy screamed all the time and was scared of everything, and needed his brother Lemmy to comfort him.

But then, possibly due to what Ludwig thought was a failed experiment to improve his intelligence, Iggy suddenly proved to be a mad genius, with scientific talent that equals or surpasses Ludwig's, although none of his musical interest or aptitude.

Since hitting puberty, Iggy went through a growth spurt and suddenly became much taller than his brother, and he began to dye his hair green with a hair dye of his own invention.

Ludwig had been using Iggy and Lemmy as lab assistants (under close supervision) since they were young, and Iggy has always been fascinated with Ludwig's experiments. Even then, he is adept at finding out how to sneak into Ludwig's lab to mess around while Ludwig is either sleeping (which isn't often) or practicing music.

Iggy was freaked out by the giant creatures that lived in the first land his father conquered for him. Bowser thought that Yoshi's Island would be a friendlier place for him, but Iggy was also scared of Yoshis (although they weren't initially hostile to him) which is why he isolated himself on a wedge floating in lava, holding his body in fetal position, until Mario came and conquered him. (Larry did the same thing, but because he was too high to be aware of how dangerous it was to do that).

Iggy's genius is of quite a different nature than Ludwig's. While Ludwig's brilliance comes as a result of long hours of mulling over various disciplines followed by sudden creative bursts of inspiration, Iggy's comes as the result of random thoughts flashing like lightning through his head, some brilliant, others just plain crazy, many brilliant and crazy.

Fun fact: Iggy has an imaginary friend named Mr. Boopy; by contrast, his "imaginary" friend Fart is real.

Bowser Koopa, Jr.

Birthday: ?

Astrological Sun sign: ? (probably the same as his father's?)

Bowser Jr. was born quite a few years after the youngest of his elder siblings. The elder Koopalings, unaware that their father even had a mistress at the time; they discovered him when they returned home after Mario conquered their castles in Dinosaur Land. He is the only one of Bowser's children the he, as opposed to the mother, got to name. It is rumored that Bowser had himself cloned, although neither Ludwig nor Iggy had done it.

Bowser Jr. behaves very much the same as his father did when he was little. He is bad-tempered and bossy with his older siblings, whom resent very much that Bowser allows him to behave this way.

As a matter of fact, Bowser had been favoring Junior for some time lately, probably because the elder Koopalings are tired of going along with their dad's constantly failing plans.

Bowser has charged Wendy with taking care of Bowser Jr. when he is not around (which is all the time). BJ nags and bosses Wendy around the way Wendy nags and bosses her brothers and sometimes her father around, only worse, and he calls Wendy his "nanny".

Fun fact: It is rumored that Junior has taken Ludwig's title as Crown Prince (which would be legally permissible if he is indeed Bowser's clone, since Bowser was born before Ludwig).

Another fun fact: Bowser has had other mistresses in his harem, all of whom left him before Junior came into the picture (probably due to his sudden single-minded obsession Princess Peach, who had by then grown into a lovely young lady)but some of them may have laid eggs that Bowser sired, and never claimed custody of (not that you can blame him)…

So HOW many Koopalings are there?