When Love and Hate Collide

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: First full-blown Tomoyo-Eriol fic I've ever attempted. Sequel to Everything You Want. If you liked the verbal sparring between these two in that fic, then this fic is for you.  This fic will run about the same length as Everything You Want. Hopefully this will end as quickly as the prequel.

Prologue: Broken

"You cut me up and I keep, keep bleeding love."

- Leona Lewis, Bleeding Love

I can have another you in a minute

As a matter of fact, he'll be here in a moment

So don't you ever for a second get to thinking

You're irreplaceable

-Beyonce Knowles, Irreplaceable

"Give me this one moment to be irrational."

someone I know

"How could you?" Tomoyo's voice was barely a whisper as she stared at her two-timing fiancé. She could not even summon the strength to lift a hand to slap him.

What was the term? Yeah—he was caught in the act. Caught red-handed. Whatever you wish to call it; point of the matter is that she saw him making out with another girl. And he did not even deny it.

She didn't know whether to be thankful or to just bash him in the head. Hard.

"Sorry you had to find out this way, babe," the jerk did not even try to look apologetic. It was as if she owed him this moment of truth and not the other way around.

Asshole. Whatever did she see in this man? She thought with much chagrin.

The woman he was with had made her less-than-graceful exit a few minutes ago, her hair disheveled and her face rather red. Tomoyo had resisted the urge to pull the bitch's hair, and it was all she could do to keep her hands firmly at her sides.

"Sorry? Is that all you can say, you jerk?"

"What else do you want me to say?" He challenged. Why, the bastard even had the gall to talk to her that way!

"You think 'sorry' would cut it?" She asked, giving him another chance to make amends beyond such trite apologies.

Like maybe get down at her feet and grovel.

"Actually, I was expecting that sorry won't cut it," he replied casually.

"What did you say?"

"I didn't know how to cry off without disgracing you, so I wanted to give you reasons to desert me before the wedding."

Tomoyo froze, not believing her ears.

Then, suddenly, it all made sense. The cold shoulder. The unanswered phone calls and unreturned messages. The lame excuses for being late or not showing up at all.

It all boiled down to this? She fought a mad desire to laugh.

All the more, she did her best to ignore the faint stabs of pain at her heart.

To think she really, really loved this man—and he turned out to be a top-rate jerk.

At that moment, she thought of a thousand things she wanted to say to him.

But in the end, she realized that if she did as pride dictated her to do, she would only appear the sore loser. She would only look stupid and naïve and everything she didn't want to be anymore.

She would look betrayed and hurt and brokenhearted. And what was worse was that it would all be true.

But her pride would never allow her to let him see how badly wounded she was.

"If you didn't want us to get married, you should have said so," she said softly, her eyes staring at him accusingly. "I never asked you to marry me."

"Tomoyo—"

"Spare me the excuses." She replied quickly. She clenched her fists, trying to regain her composure. The engagement ring on her finger—an exquisite marquise-cut diamond she used to love for all its symbolism and whatnot—suddenly felt too heavy, too tight.

"There, you're free from our arrangement," she said, mustering up the courage to actually walk away from him.

"Tomoyo, please, don't be like that," he was wincing as if he was the one in pain. As if he was the one nursing a broken heart.

Nursing a broken ego, more like. How dare this oaf! What, did he expect her to fall to pieces, to get down on her knees and ask him to stay?

Not in a million years! Tomoyo Daidouji may be many things, not all of which are exactly good, but she was never a fool. She knew when to give up a fight and accept defeat—accept that it wasn't for her, after all.

And he was never hers to begin with. He was Sakura's first. He dated her first, approached her first.

She was nobody in his eyes then—and now, maybe nothing has changed. Maybe he still thought her silly and shallow and superficial. Maybe everything was for sport, for fun.

Knowing him, that can't be very far off the truth.

But she'll show him. If everything they've shared could mean so little, probably nothing to him…

…then it won't matter to her anymore as well.

As the tears threatened to fall, she turned her back on him and walked away.

I'll show you. So I never mattered to you, huh? News flash, big guy. From now on, you won't matter to me anymore…

"So," she said, stopping on her tracks. "I guess this is it, then, Eriol Hiiragizawa. I'll see you around."

Then she stalked off, knowing she can't hold off the tears for much longer.

--

Trust Tomoyo to turn things around, Eriol thought, shaking his head. From what just transpired now, one would think she discarded him, and not the other way around.

But really, he can't complain on that. At least her pride was intact—she deserved as much. In fact, he'd say she deserved so much more. But what could he do? He didn't feel anything for her—except pity perhaps—and if he hardly thought she deserved to be shackled to a man who didn't love her.

He only thought about marrying her because he thought he'd learn to care for her, if he can't love her. He wasn't getting any younger, after all. Then he realized he loved his freedom too much to marry one woman and be content.

Well, thanks to her, it wasn't as hard as he thought it'd be. Tomoyo won't be Tomoyo if she didn't have her pride.

Yet the thought that he'd made Tomoyo cry settled in his mind. Never, in the seven months that he's been with her, in the more than two years that he's known her, did Eriol see her cry.

He was sure she'd weather it out; she always pulls through. But still, tears…

It was pride, he was sure. Her ego talked big and she cried because of it.

For he didn't believe for a moment that Tomoyo ever really loved him. Truly, she was a nice girl, but he can't imagine her feeling anything as tender as love toward anyone.

Well, except for Sakura. And even then, tenderness just doesn't suit Tomoyo. She was an Alpha female, someone too difficult to handle. She knew how to handle men.

And she handled this one quite beautifully, in his opinion. It just wasn't enough to keep him.

Still…he can't believe it was over. Just like that…it was…

It was too easy, he still couldn't fathom how he could've broken up with her without much tears and shouting and tantrums.

It's just…so mature, so simple. So unlike Tomoyo—the most complicated woman he's ever met. One moment she was sweet, bitchy and callous on the next. Unpredictable, but always feisty. That was her, Tomoyo.

And he imagined a thousand worst-case scenarios of this breakup. None of which came true.

Truth, he surmised, was indeed stranger than fiction.

Now the only question left is why he was so bothered by her less-than-dramatic reaction.

--

In truth, there have been lots of tears. Once she was driving away from Eriol's office, Tomoyo was bawling her eyes out.

Instinct told her to dial Sakura's number and share her heartache with her.

But Tomoyo beat herself to it. This was one pain she couldn't share with Sakura—with anyone, for that matter. For one, Sakura was their mutual friend…it would be childish to gain Sakura's side and see him suffer in her eyes. She knew that Eriol was very fond of Sakura, and so was her friend. No, she can't do it. No matter how much she wanted to lash back, she could never take his friendship with Sakura away.

This was their problem, and suddenly Tomoyo realized she wanted it to remain between them, sensible adults that they are. No need to alert Sakura or anything.

She can handle this, and by God, she will. She's doing well anyway, she thought.

She'd cry her heart out now…then she'd dry the tears afterward.

She'd clean up the mess later. Just, now…she hoped the world would allow her this moment of insanity, this mad moment of tears and pain.

Later, much later, when the tears won't come anymore—will they ever stop?—she'd go and pick up the pieces of herself, her shattered heart and soul.

For now, she's content with running away, with crying her pain away.

It's over. Just like that. Oh God. It's all over. It hurts so much I can't breathe. I can't take it anymore God please make it stop please make the pain go away just stop it end it now…

She didn't know how she got home. All she knew was that she did. And when she was in her bed, all the pain came crashing anew…

And it still hurts, it hurts so much…remembering him and all the times they shared…

TBC