In The Beginning There Were Superheroes

by ElizaSchorn

A small poem about the craziness that is DC.

A/N… I came across this parody on the internet that begins "In the beginning was the plan…". It was hilarious, so I thought I'd use that same format for this poem. This one is for all the people that read DC comics and are growing weary of their extremely fickle realities. Enjoy!

In the beginning there were superheroes,

And then came the Crises.

And the Crises were confusing,

And the superheroes were all dead,

And Darkness was on the face of the Readers.

And the Readers went unto their blogs and said: "This is unbelievable and must be stopped."

And other Bloggers went unto their homepages and posted signs, saying: "(insert character) cannot die; #$% graphic novels!"

And the People who read these things went unto Outlook and sent e-mails to the Writers, saying: "We are outraged and are abandoning you."

So the Writers, when they had received these e-mails, spoke among themselves and said to one another: "Truly, we have made half-assed decisions and will be fired."

So the Writers went therefore unto their Editors and pleaded, saying: "We must cause another Crisis, or else be forever reviled."

And the Editors looked over the e-mails that the writers had received, and were appalled, and said: "Verily, we must have another Crisis or our sales will plummet, even so much as they have already."

So the Editors gave permission, and the Writers pulled Superboy-Prime out again, and merry, reality-altering waves swept the universe.

And those superheroes who had died, returned to life. Supervillians also, and in great numbers.

And this is how the Readers shall be disgusted.