('.') Ever since I read the chapter where they were first put in that dungeon together, this has brewing in my head for awhile (I actually dreamed it. :P) Anyway just a simple one-shot where Lisanna decides to put to rest some of her brewing feelings. :)
Lisanna adjusted herself as she sat on the cold stony floor, wiggling from side to side in nervousness. She could feel the heat from Natsu back radiating off of him, causing her to redden a bit, but when she turned to look at his face, he looked unaffected by their circumstances, anger and irritation being the only emotion reflected in his eyes.
Lisanna turned her head back to face the stone wall ahead of her, quietly letting out a deep sigh as she reflected on her relationship with Natsu, someone she's held dear in her heart for the longest time. She loved being with Natsu, more than anything in the world, being around him could brighten her day in seconds. His ridiculous, yet endearing personality, his perseverance, and tenacity; she loved them it all. Lisanna sniffled a bit as she wallowed in remembrance of their youth. Soon, her feelings began to pile up, stacking up bit by bit, until she felt as though she might burst. Now might be her only chance, for she never knew when she might have another chance to be with him alone.
"Hey, Natsu?" She mumbled, her head sinking on top of her knees.
"Hah?" Natsu replied rather harshly, his own feelings of failure to save Erza and Mirajane, and shame of getting captured himself, piling up, too. Lisanna was shaken by his seemingly irritated tone, although that irritation wasn't directed intentionally towards her. Refusing to falter, Lisanna shook her head, regaining her confidence to speak. After all, her siblings taught her better. 'Be a man!' Elfman would probably yell at her, in which she would have promptly replied 'I'm a girl!'
"C-can I say something important?" She stuttered, stumbling over every syllable, barely making it through the sentence.
Natsu foot began tapping rapidly against the stone floor. "Of course. Not like I can go anywhere." He shook his hands a bit to show off the jingling sound of his iron bindings. Lisanna gulped, feeling lucky Natsu couldn't see her red face.
"When I first came to Edolas," she started, speaking slowly, and clearly, so that every word couldn't escape Natsu's ears. "I was confused. Scared. I had no idea where I was, so I went to the first place I could think of; Fairy Tail; where all my friends and family were. It didn't take me long to figure out how different everyone was." Lisanna sniffled once again. She couldn't tell if it was cold, or if she was on the verge of tears.
"Especially you, Natsu." She murmured. "Your once fiery personality had regressed into a small, pitiful boy, and it saddened me." She stopped for a second, before continuing on. "But I didn't mind too much. After all, being around you no matter how different you were was better than being separated. Been that way since we were children." Lisanna giggled a bit, "Until you left that one day on a mission." Her smile quickly faded as she remembered that moment, so vivid in her head, and a small tear managed to escape her tear ducts and gently slide down her face. Natsu remained silent, not wanted to interrupt her.
"You, or Natsu Dragion, rarely went on missions; you were too scared. As worried as I was, I couldn't go with you, and you insisted on going on your own. When you returned safely, I was so happy…..and then I saw her." Lisanna paused, taking in a soft breath. Natsu still didn't speak, but his body tensed up when Lisanna put an emphasis on 'her.'
"Natsu Dragion had returned with Lucy Ashley at his side. You hardly noticed me upon your return, and only spent your time with Lucy. I noticed she bullied you a lot, so I did my best to try and stop her but, it was almost as if you didn't mind. No matter how much she bullied you, you defended her with your life at times, always remaining by her side. And that hurt me." Lisanna rubbed her teary eyes with her bent elbow, doing her best despite her confinements.
"Worst part was, Lucy Ashley was willing to do the same for you, and in spite of how badly you treated one another, it was obvious you truly cared. Even I could see that. Because of this I grew to dislike Lucy Ashley. I felt so jealous of her….so terribly jealous." Lisanna tears began falling in full force. "I thought that since I came back to Earthland, everything could go back to normal, that you and I would go back to being close friends…." She trailed off, as if insinuated something more. "But then I saw Lucy was on Earthland, too, as Lucy Heartfilia. A much sweeter, kinder girl than she was in Edolas." Lisanna turned to look at Natsu, but his face was turned to far in the opposite direction, hiding his face. She placed her head back on her knees, resting her aching head, her tears still falling.
"After that, Earthland quickly became just like Edolas. You rarely spent time with me, only looking at Lucy. And I hated it. I hated it so much." She began to sob, soft wails of pain and sadness escaped her parted lips. Lisanna breathed in quickly, rubbing her eyes to prevent more cries. "For months I was plagued by my moral thoughts, wondering if having so much hate brew inside of me meant I was a bad person, wondering if I'll ever figure it out. 'I only want things to be normal again!' was what I told myself, failing to see that this was now normal." She paused. "I have nothing against Lucy….really. But I hated her. I hated how she was taking you away from me. I hated how all this hate made me feel, I hated it…and I still do." Her voice died down, turning into a soft whisper.
Lisanna chuckled. "I must sound really stupid." She mumbled. "This whole time, I've been wallowing in self-pity, loathing myself and how much anger I carried inside of me when really; I wanted to just say these three words." Lisanna paused and took in a deep breath.
"I loved you." Lisanna whispered, feeling Natsu back tense up again. "I really did." She wiped the tears from her eyes, her face becoming red from the emotions she spilled, from every tear that fell down her pale face.
"…Lisanna…." Natsu began. Lisanna just shook her head.
"No need to say anything." She continued to wipe her eyes, but her sad expression was replaced by a soft smile. "I already know what you're about to say. I already know you like Lucy." Natsu's face turned a bit red, and he quickly turned away.
"W-what? N-no I d-don't!" He stuttered like a madman, his face getting hotter and hotter. Lisanna laughed at his bashful side.
"Thanks for letting me talk" She said truly meaning it. Lisanna was freed from the hurt she had been experiencing for so long, the sinking feeling in her stomach finally lifting, tears she had been holding in finally exposed, along with the rest of her heart and soul.
"But, Lisanna"?
"Hm?
Natsu turned to face her. "You were my first love!" He exclaimed, flashing that signature smile. Lisanna smiled back.
"And you were mine."