Set after Entropy Season 6, song fic Please Don't Leave Me. Short one. First time story. Let me know what you think. Disclaimer.
Spike stood there outside the Magic Box as Buffy followed Xander down the road and mostly likely out of his life forever. He really messed up this time. He looked over at Anya and saw the same regret in her eyes. He knew she never meant to hurt the whelp but he also knew that this was something neither of them would let go easily.
He started on his way back to his crypt. The whelp was right, he was a soulless evil monster. How could he have hurt Buffy the way he did. He needed to get out of the hellmouth for good. Spike knew that what he had done to Buffy was inexcusable and he needed to stay out of her life. He began packing up all of his few possessions into a duffle bag. The sun would be coming up soon; tomorrow night he would find Clem and let him know that he would be out of town for a while, that he could stay in his crypt.
Buffy wandered for a while before she found herself walked down Revello Drive. She saw the lights in the living room on and through the window she could see Willow holding a sobbing Xander. She hesitated before opening the door and heading towards the living room which held her friends. At the sound of her heels, Xander lifted his head to look into her eyes. His face and body gave off waves of pain and agony. Buffy had to turn her head, she couldn't look at him when he was like this.
"Why Buffy, how could you sleep with him. After all of the horrible things he's done. Look what he did to Anya!" He was shouting at her now. Tears streamed down his face. "How could you..." The last part was said in a whisper as he dropped to his knees and sobs once again wracked his body.
"I… I'm... Xander, please.." she begged him in a quite voice. A single tear streamed down her face before she turned to run up the stairs and hide behind her bedroom door.
"Xander, can't you see she's hurting too. She had to watch someone she cared about on that camera as well. I know your hurting Xan but don't hurt someone else you care about." Willow kneeled down beside him on the carpet.
"How can you say that Willow. It's spike! He's a demon. Buffy could never love him. What was she thinking sleeping with that … that thing! How could she!"
"Anya is a demon too Xander and I know how much you love her. It's not about demon or human, it's about the feelings you have when you're around them. Don't blame Buffy or even Anya. She was really hurt when you left her Xander maybe she made a mistake. You need to go talk to Buffy. You both are going through the same thing right now. I know how it feels to screw up and loose someone you care about, I lost Tara because of my stupid mistakes but we are working through it Xan. You and Anya can do the same, you can fix all the mistakes." She rubbed a soothing hand in a circle pattern on his back.
Xanders shaking began to subside and he looked at Willow with pleading eyes. "Do you promise that it will get better, it hurts so bad."
"I promise." She began pulling him up from his spot on the floor. "Go talk to Buffy."
Xander gave Willow one last look before slowly making his way up the stairs. He stopped just outside of Buffy's room, He could hear her crying through the door. He turned the doorknob and let the door fall open. " Buffy… Can I talk to you?"
She sat up wiping the water from her eyes trying not to show him how upset she really was. "I'm sorry Xander… I know you must be really upset with Anya and I. I was so stupid to let Spike get to me. What was I thinking Xander. Why does it hurt so much!" Silent tears rolled down her cheeks again.
Xander sat beside her on the bed and draped a comforting arm across her shoulders. He pulled her close to him and they sat together letting their hurt tears fall. After some time Xander pulled back slightly so that Buffy was looking at him. "I'm sorry too Buffy. I was so caught up in how hurt I was that I didn't see how much that must have hurt you as well. I'm not a fan of the bleached undead." He gave her a comforting smirk. "But he must mean a lot to you in order to hurt you so badly."
"I don't think I realized how much he meant until I saw him with Anya. It hurt so bad you know. I guess I figured he would always follow me around like a puppy no matter how much I hurt him. And I did Xan, I hurt him so much. Why did I hurt him so much." She pleaded for him to make sense of the pain and confusion she was feeling.
"I don't know Buffy. We always hurt the ones we love the most right. I mean look what I did to Anya. I left her at the alter. It doesn't get much worse then that right? I think I'm gonna go talk to her tomorrow. I need to set things straight before they get more messed up." He stood up to leave, when he reached the door he turned around to speak to her once more. "You should go talk to Spike tomorrow too Buffster."
She nodded and he closed the door behind him. Buffy laid back on her bed and feel into a restless sleep full of thoughts about Spike and images of him and Anya,"
Buffy awoke early the next morning to the shine shining through her window blinds. She shuffles down stairs in much need of caffine. Willow was in the kitchen and had already started the coffee machine. She turned as Buffy entered, "Hey Buf, how are you feeling?"
"Like I got kicked in the head by a big scaly demon with horns and stupid bleached hair." She pouted and sat on a stool with a mug of coffee.
Willow smiled slightly at that. "A big demon with bleached blond hair huh?" When she caught Buffy's frown deepen she sighed and sat down next to her. " I heard about last night Buffy. I'm sorry about Spike. I'm fully prepared to give him the best friend glare tonight at the Bronze." She began practicing her glare to show Buffy that she was serious.
Buffy smiled down at her coffee then looked up at Willow, "You don't need to do that Wil… wait. At the Bronze tonight?" She sent a questioning glance in the direction of the red head.
"Yup! It's all part of my making Xander and Buffy less sad plan." She smiled triumphantly at Buffy.
"I don't think so Wils. I'm not much in the mood for Bronzing tonight." Buffy looked back down into the now lukewarm cup of coffee in front of her.
"Sorry Buf I'm not taking no as an answer you are coming whether you like it or not. Even if I have to use my big muscles to drag you there. Or better yet I'll have Tara use her witchy ways to get you there. No magic for me right now. I'm in magic rehab." She gave Buffy a weak smile.
"Fine, fine I'll go but I won't be happy about it!"
Willow entered Buffy's room later that night to see her still standing amongst dozen of outfits in a fluffy bathrobe.
"Buffy how come you aren't dressed yet! We are meeting Xander and Anya there in 10 minutes." She started picking up the discarded clothing around the room.
"I'm not going Willow. I have nothing to wear! Are you even sure Spike is going to be there?" She pouted and threw another outfit from her closet.
"Yup. I told Clem to bring him by tonight. Told him I would set him up with one of my demony friends if he did it for me. Told him to keep it a secret though." Willow look into the back of Buffy's closet and her eyes lit up when she found the perfect outfit. "You are so wearing this tonight! Spike won't be able to keep his eyes off you."
She held up a black leather mini skirt and a blood red shirt that dipped down to her navel in the front and hugged all of her curves. " I can't wear that Wil! I'll look like slutty Buffy."
"No you won't. You'll look hot Buff. Spike will love it." She tossed the outfit over to her.
"I guess if you say so Will…" Buffy put the outfit on with uncertainty.
"Hey Spike, I came to see if you wanted to go get a drink with me." Clem opened the door to Spike's crypt nervous about the witch's plan. "Spike what are you doing?" Spike was tossing all of his clothing in a bag with a few pictures and other trinkets.
"What's it look like I'm doin'. Getting' the bloody hell out of here. The whelp was right. I'm not right for Buffy need to be getting out of her life. N'more messin' it up for her. She needs better then me."
"Spike what are you talking about. The slayer needs you around. You know that."
"Nah she doesn't. I'm gonna be leaving town for a while. I was gonna come find you anyway, you can have the crypt while I'm gone. Can't say how long I'll be gone for."
"Thanks Spike but I can't take you crypt…" Clem shook his head and his floppy ears bounced as he did so.
"Your welcome to it. Figure someone should be here to take care of it so no other beasties come along and ruin it. Either way I'm leaving tonight." He headed towards the door only for Clem to step in his path.
"Tonight! You can't leave tonight, we are going to the Bronze to get drinks and maybe some of those hot wings you like so much! Come on we should be getting there soon." Clem tried to persuade his friend to go with him. He really wanted to go on a date with Willows friend.
"Fine. I'll go for a lil while but then I'm leaving." Spike begrudgingly follwed Clem in the direction of the Bronze.
Buffy, Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya sat at a secluded table at the Bronze. Xander and Anya were whispering to each other and sitting far too close. Xander had gone over earlier that day to apologize. After lots of yelling, crying, and as Anya so eloquently put 'lots of make-up sex' they had gotten back together.
Buffy sat there the odd man out repeatedly stabbing the lime in her drink with the end of the little sword that came with it. "He's not coming Willow. This was a dumb idea. Stupid vampires, stupid blond stupid head…" With each remark she meoved the sword and plunged it once again into the lime.
"Hey there slayer! What a coincidence seeing you guys here at the Bronze on a Saturday night. Me and Spike just came to get some drinks before he headed out of town." Clem approached the table with a reluctant Spike dragging his feet behind him.
Buffy's head jerked up at this with tears in her eyes she looked past clem into Spikes eyes. "You're leaving?" The pain in her voice was evident. Spike had to look away suddenly finding the band on stage very interesting. "Why?"
"Jus' need a change of scenery 's all." He relied weakly. "Best be taking off then. Sorry I don't have time for a drink Clem. Not really welcome 'round here anyway." With that he turned and made his way to the exit.
"Xander you need to go stop him. I'm not messing this up again. Just don't let him leave quite yet. I have an idea." With that Buffy disappeared into the crowd in the opposite direction of the one in which Xander had gone in search of Spike.
Xander caught a glimpse of blond near the exit and was able to grab hold of his leather duster just before he disappeared into the night. "Get your bloody hands off me you ponce." Spike ripped his jacket out of Xanders grasp.
"Look Spike I don't like you alright but I care about Buffy…" Xander began but was cut off by Spike before he could continue.
"Look I'm leaving a'right! I'm staying out of her life … Isn't that what you all want. The big bad vampire away from your precious lil slayer." Spikes eyes had begun to tear and his voice raised to the point of yelling.
"She told me to come get you, I don't know why but she cares about you and it would hurt her if you left so I can't let you do that…" Xander's thought process was cut off when a the band stopped singing and a new voice filled the speakers.
Da da da da, da da da da
Da da da, da da
Da da da, da da
They both turned to catch a glimpse of the blond now standing nervously on stage.
I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many times I've kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
Da da da, da da
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is broken
Da da da, da da
Spike's leg moved on their own accord and he found himself pushing his way towards the stage to get a better view of the girl singing on the stage.
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
He watched as her eyes became fogged. She no longer looked at the screen in front of her for the words. She didn't need them, this was her life that she was singing. The next verse she sang while staring into the deep blue of his eyes.
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Da da da, da da
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
He had to smirk at that comment when he thought back to the relationship they had shared.
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise
Da da da, da da
Please don't leave me
Oh please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
With the next line Buffy grabbed onto the mic in front of her and closed her eyes letting all of her emotions join the words that she sang out.
I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I cannot be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry
She opened her eyes and looked at him like no one else existed. She removed the mic from the stand and made her way off the stage and through the crowd.
Please, please don't leave me
Baby please don't leave me
No, don't leave me
Please don't leave me no no no
You say I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back
It's gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
Please don't leave me, oh no no no.
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
She stood before him and sang the last line, it was barely more then a whisper but he heard her like she had screamed it.
Please don't leave me
Baby, please, please don't leave me
The crowd cheered, clearly impressed with the performance Buffy had given. She smiled up at him but when he stared blankly at her she looked down frowning. Maybe she had finally driven him away just like all the other men in her life. He was going to leave her just like everyone always had. The thoughts of him leaving flooded her mind and so began the water works.
Spike reached forwards and lifted her chin so that she was forced to look at him. He smirked at her and said, "I'm your perfect lil punching bag, eh pet?" She smiled at him through the tears still unsure of what was going through his mind. Her smile was short-lived and the corners of her mouth once again dropped. "Come on luv no more tears. Think we've caused enough tears lately. Now why don't we get out of here and you can explain to me what that was all about, a'right?" She nodded her head slightly but didn't look up.
She was lead through the crowd by Spike back towards her friends. She vaguely remembered him explaining to them that he was taking off with Buffy and would make sure she got home alright. She also heard Anya reprimand Xander for not singing for her. Then once again she was being pulled along by Spike towards the exit.
The walk back to his crypt was made in silence. Spike kept sending glances her way but Buffy's eyes never strayed much from the ground before her. A couple of times she looked at their clasped hands but never higher then that. She was starting to think that maybe her karaoke debut had not been the best plan.
Clem jumped up off the couch as soon as Spike opened the door to his crypt. "Spike! I thought you were leaving town tonight I mean … oh hi slayer. Wonderful job singing up there. Sorry I didn't stick around for the whole thing. Was getting some funny looks from the humans you know with that skin thing."
"You mind giving us some time to talk Clem? Promise the crypt 's all yours tomorrow. Jus' need to sus' out some stuff between the slayer and me." Clem nodded and made a quite exit.
"So you're still leaving? I thought... I guess I was just stupid." Buffy picked at the bottom of her skirt.
"I already promised him the crypt. Not good manners to just take it back now is it? S'pose I can find somewhere else to stay for the time being. No much feeling like driving tonight." Spike walked towards the girl sitting on the sarcophagus. "Now why don't you tell me what happened tonight."
"Why were you going to leave me. Just like all the other ones aren't you! You were supposed to be different then them but you're all the same. Everyone always leaves. Wha
t is wrong with me Spike? Why can't anyone stand being around me?" She finally raised her head to look at hime.
"No pet there is nothing wrong with you. How could you think that. It's me; I'm no good for you. Figured I would pack up and get out of town before I hurt you anymore. The other night… I hurt you Buffy and I realized that it would be best for you if I took off."
"Who are you to decide what is best for me. Everyone always leaves and says its best for me. I want to decide what's best for me! Spike… you are what's best for me. I'm sorry that it took you almost leaving for me to realize it. I'm been such an idiot lately. I didn't notice everything going on with Willow's magic, I didn't notice Dawn's problems, and most of all I didn't realize how must I loved you until it was too late."
Spike's head shot up, his eyes filled with tears. "What did you say?" His voiced strained and quetioning.
She smiled and walked towards him. "I love you Spike. More then I thought possible. I'm sorry about how I've been treating you, you always hurt the ones you love right."
"God Buffy I love you so much." He pulled her forward and their lips met passionately. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and pulled him against her so that no room was left between them. He lifted her up and allowed her to wrap her legs around his waist. He made his way down the ladder to the lower part of his crypt, never once breaking the kiss.
He laid her carefully down on the bed and then began taking his time kissing down her neck and nibbling on her earlobe. He pulled back and looked into her eyes clouded with emotions. She smiles at him and slid backwards up onto the bed. She grabbed his hand and pulled him down next to her.
"Lay with me? I just want you to hold me. Be here when I wake up?" She snuggled into his embrace.
"Of course pet. This is everything I've ever wanted you know." Spike wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love you Buffy, forever and always." He rested his head against her blond curls.
"Forever and always." She mumbled as she fell into the best sleep she had had in a long time.
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